Nick Viall - Bachelorette 10 - 11 - Discussion #8

Changing topics a bit- Considering all that Nick appears to have going for him, ie, successful, financially secure, good looking enough to be a model, supposedly charming and intelligent, if he is truly interested in meeting someone and getting married (as two attempts on TB would seem to indicate), why doesn't he have a steady girlfriend (or does he have one and is keeping her a secret)? Last time I was in Chicago, it was full of extremely eligible single women. It seems ludicrous to me that he couldn't find one by now if he really was looking.

Well I'm no Nick expert (I leave that to the Nick Chicks here) and I'm no relationship expert either...but finding a significant other isn't as simple as drawing one out of a hat. If you're truly interested in settling down and getting married you take your time to find the right person. You don't just grab the first one that comes along and says "you'll do". And just because Chicago is full of eligible women doesn't mean he has the opportunity to meet all of them. It's not like he's going to hang a billboard that says "Eligible women call ***-***-****".

I know plenty of nice looking people, intelligent, with good jobs that are single. I don't know how to explain any of it. Probably not for me to explain. 
I do know the divorce rate hovers around 55%.

My son is one of those good looking professionals, still single in his early 30's. He had a very long relationship, two other relationships, he'd love to get married, but he's not feeling it in those relationships to get married. I'd much rather he do that, because he'll know when the right one comes along. If he would have married his long time relationship, (like family pressured him to do) it would have ended in a split.

Why are any of these contestants single, they are all in the same boat. Most come from large cities where singles are a dime a dozen. Why is Becca single, Whitney, on and on.

Sometimes the general public, like my mother, are quick to judge someone who is not married in their early thirties, rather than give credit for being mature enough in knowing what they want, and not contribute further down the road to the divorce rates.

Personally, I think that both men and women are more career focused now then they were when I was younger. They put off the ideal of marriage, and a family as a lessor priority, until they are well established in their careers. That of course doesn't apply to everyone, but it seems like less people are getting married in their early 20's. I think Nick is at the point in his life where he is successful at his career, and is now feeling the void of love, and has the desire for both love, and a family of his own. jmo

My oldest daughter is still in that single boat. She is happily focusing on her career after having been through two long term relationships that didn't work out. 
IMO better single and happy, than married/coupled and miserable.
Too bad we don't live closer, GA.

Well, I'm certainly not expecting him to marry the first person who comes along, but I just find it unusual for such an eligible guy to not have had at least one steady girlfriend for a while in over two years of dating (I don't count the ridiculous 2 month relationships from the show as such) IF he is interested in that.  Maybe he just isn't, and nothing wrong with that.

Dating life sucks out there. This said in my best non-meddling jewish mother voice wishing her single, employed jewish daughter her own great guy.

I honestly don't have the answer why many people are single, including me, in their 30s. But I can tell you that if I would meet a guy that I would feel like i could love him "forever" (be dedicated) with all his flaws and quirks and he could do the same, love me ... all of me... I wouldn't hesitate to be in the relationship (marriage or not, that's optional) ... but while I was going to the university, traveling around, going out 2, 3 times a week, all kinds of places, meeting all kinds of people, I only got to encounter a hand-full of guys who I was actually attracted and interested in (who I kinda clicked ... and yes, I take in the consideration that I have "standards" and I'm not willing to overlook for the sake of being in the unsatisfying relationship) ... and of those 5 guys, 1 was/is gay (I have no radar, nor I ever ask), 1 was "too hot to handle" that I messed up during our digits exchange and so I never got another opportunity to hear from him again, 1 I've tried to build the relationship with, but he fell for my friend, 1 I've dated for some time and then he decided he wasn't over his ex (i was his rebound) and 1 was in the relationship already (or I have no idea what his status was ... but I treat "he has a girlfriend" the same as "he's taken/married").

IMO, those that know what they are looking for in a potential partner are often the most selective. It takes time to determine if someone is the one, especially with access to a large list of eligible candidates.

I did not want to settle for anything less than #goals in my own life, so why should Nick (or any other single person)?

And as for him not having a serious relationship outside of the show in the past 18 months since his involvement began? Well, he was filming three of the months in relationships with the girls. Then keeping the shows endings for an additional six months (three in each case). Not to mention the two months of flirtatious texts with Kaitlyn prior to her show. That leaves only seven months in between shows to cultivate a normal relationship probably half of which he spent just adjusting to life in the spotlight. I see nothing wrong with the timing of Nick's relationship life. He is carefully considering his options and trying to make sure that he choses wisely when it comes to the girl.

I also hear from my (male) friends and some other "moms" I hang with, that it's really difficult for men these days to find a woman who is really interested and dedicated to be with the guy (for who he is) ... it's what I hear, that women now are only looking for a guy "with money", successful, who can offer them the life they want (gifts, travel, dinners out, ...) and if he doesn't meet those "demands" they move to another "catch" ... then again so much is put on the physical and exterior that I don't know anymore where the problem lays, but at the end the "attraction/chemistry" still is the barrier and I would actually be wary of those who don't care about that at all and are in it for the wallet/power or IDK ... then I'm also getting more and more saddened by the society (in my country), there are religious and political issues that divide people ... and since I'm very close to the political scene I'm even more appalled by the perversion and games that the "love-scene" has in those circles. I honestly don't know if it was always like that and the issues are only more prominent nowadays, as if the society became more "accepting", or the things are changing ... and not for the better.

Well, it's totally OT, but it seems life is much more stressful today than it was when I was single 36 yrs ago. 
Simple is easier and to me happier.