Re: Heather Maltman - Bachelor Australia - Season 3 - Fan Forum - Thread #2

[ElonM]

Cat ladies to the rescue.

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We like to touch cats on a regular basis. @lanajf so glad you're my Sydney buddy. X x
@heather_maltman

[ElonM]

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I don’t think anyone would have ever thought that one day it would be cool to poop yourself. To be that lacking in human skills that defecation was suddenly popular. Truth is, if anyone could set that trend it would be Rosie.

WELL I’M BACK!!!! It’s been ages since my last little research on a popular human making stuff and just generally being awesome. How wicked was it when this particular human was all “hey, Heather I expect a review on my book.” (Insert Heather’s face plant into a plate of food at a dinner table.) The thing is, I am no writer and I started this blog (I actually hate the word blog, it sounds like some kind of vaginal disease), only so that I could be more in the know on what’s happening in the industry. That’s how I even found Rosie’s recaps in the first place. (If you are living under a ******** rock Rosie does recaps on the The Bachelor a show where a bunch of chicks compete for a dudes love and affection- nothing sacrificial and it’s all very PG. I have been known to dabble in the bachie arts…)

Now that we’re up to speed I can get down to business.

One of the hardest things about a world where a place called the internet exists is that some very smart people who build machines and poop, gave a voice to other people who are all about looking “cool” and trending and whatever [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]. Growing up as a kid with no money and not fitting in, means I can see a pretty massive danger for we humans to start believing that you have to be a certain way, talk to certain people, and not embarrass yourself in fear of not getting enough likes on your selfie that you should have totes XXPro’d the poop out of. Why does this relate to Rosie Waterland you ask? Really? You need to ask? Ok… This is a woman who took all the things we are too scared to say out loud, own up to and most importantly challenge, and made a voice for all the people who are too afraid to speak up. THIS is her common thread.

MY FAV PART!

One of my favorite articles from ‘ol Rosalicious is the one about face palming, as I feel this pretty much sums up her ability to touch on the awkwardness of real life. You see, with most TV shows out there, we get this vibe that everything is perfect, and we want all perfect things, clothes-houses-partners-families-cars-holidays-rings-p*nis’-breasts… But it’s not how the world works. Things are messy, dysfunctional and at times down right f*&^ing bullcrap unfair. The Anti Cool Girl is R-dawg’s first book that talks about her life, and thank god she wrote it! She takes her time moving through the stages in her life all the way from conception and remembering what it felt like to be the womb while her mother escaped drug dealers, to being bullied by a young man at private School, (he is so lucky she had class and didn’t name him as I’m pretty sure that if we knew who he was, he would be lying on the ground by now with a p*nis drawn very clearly on his face reciting “I will not pick on people just because they don’t have as much money as I do and I’m an elitist pig who deserves to have sex with an aggressive panda.”)… (Sorry… I got passionate.) Then she finally ends it with where she is today, making blanket forts and not wanting to clean up her cats poop in the bathroom. (We’ve all been there my love… Ahhhh Katie, how I miss your morning urine in the kitchen when I first wake.) Which takes me back to my original point.

MY ORIGINAL POINT TIME (See what I am doing here?)

Now I speak directly to you Rosie. I wonder if you know what you have created? I wonder if you are aware of how selfless this act of writing your story was? I remember someone once telling me “We are not afraid of being small, we are actually afraid of being so big that we want to hide from the world.” To this day, I close my shutters to my unit and hide in bed when things get too much. Sometimes I don’t brush my hair, and find it hard to go food shopping. When I remember what it was like growing up, and go back to visit my hometown I want to emotionally eat a family size block of Cadbury chocolate while crying to the point where you have no idea what I’m saying through dribbling saliva [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]. We all have a choice on what we can do with the experiences in this life. I pray that young kids see what you’re doing and can look past our superficial-selfie-driven-facebook-liking-society and make up their own mind, and actually voice it. In the spirit of using our voice, here is mine.

I am fierce, and emotionally available to everyone. I will love as hard as I can, but will not be your doormat. I do not want to have sex with you like a porn star, and not every hole is a goal. I like to eat all of the food, and while I drink beer I am not a bogan. I am smart, but not a douche bag. I am not afraid to tell people I don’t like something, and if you do the wrong thing by me I’ll tell you. Understanding is the first step to love, and I’m not perfect. I suck at life sometimes and wish I were hotter than Angelina Jolie. I believe that if you cannot see the humour in everything Rosie writes, if you cannot see the support she has for the subject matter including bach related recaps, and if you cannot feel how much she wants people to be accepted… We cannot be friends because you have gravely missed the boat! This is a girl that asks you to embrace the imperfect in you. Laugh at your misfortune as well as others and only comes from a place of love.

In saying all this, please remember I am not a writer like her; I just started this blog (ugh) to learn more about the industry. I never expected to be taught so much by one person, and have my secret revealed about the basket under my bed full of pubs… Win some you lose some.

Rosie Waterland- Australia’s Lena Dunham.
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[ElonM]

I love Heather more with that post.

Truly special and exceptional young lady.

[AllAboutLove]

Thank you for posting, [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]! I love it!!

Like Sam said to Warrick on Heather's HTD: "Heather is the definition of unique".  

What I love about Heather is that she encourages, no challenges, others to also be unique — which can only be attained by just being one's self.  

This quote by Emerson has always been one of my favourite quotes and makes me think of Heather. It's also perhaps why I gravitate towards people that embrace who they are and why I am a fan of those from this franchise around the world who choose to be authentically themselves no matter what.  :Nod:

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source

[happygolucky]

Hi, finally back on my PC, where I can write. It was one big boring weekend for me, I was supposed to work and it turned out I was just waiting and waiting on people to do their job for me to continue mine, such a waste of a good time, perfect weather and the opportunity to finish earlier, but at least I got a chance to go for a long walk and get some sunshine ... I was patiently waiting for Heather's blog since she announced that she was reviewing Rosie's book. Got a couple of laughs out of it ... unfortunately I couldn't identify with cat-loving life, since I've always been a dog owner and very adamant that people should pick their own dogs' poop outside for everyone else to be able to walk freely.
But I'm glad she has found some other cat-lovers out of this crazy TB experience, because there is no such a thing as "too many friends" in this world ... and you never know when somebody may brighten your day. (glad she has one fellow Sydney girl near by - Lana - I bet Heather will be forever grateful she came along)

There is so much gossip around that I don't even feel the need to bring it over, because most of it is just BS and soon dispelled ... so I'm a tad bored again, because I miss my "weekly" dose of Heather ... but for those who can watch and listen ... there's an IG video and some more "rapping": [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

[natik]

Cat ladies to the rescue.

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We like to touch cats on a regular basis. @lanajf so glad you're my Sydney buddy. X x
@heather_maltman

Saw it on IG. SO much awesomeness in one pic.

[happygolucky]

Heather Maltman ‏@HeatherMaltman 2 hours ago
@Studio10au Ummmm... Totally on your panel Friday. I will be there with bells on. (Bells may or may not be included!) [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

does this mean she will be on Studio10 show on Friday? or I'm missing the joke?

I don't know who is following Heather from Europe ... but this was a nice discovery ... well, someone who is a fan of Eminem  
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Something to help us all feel better with our "training":
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@heather_maltman
Check it... Special delivery... Might not have snagged a boyfriend. But I did get a kickarse poster I designed with help of @mattfitzy... Best! I'll be able to keep Bachman and H-Bomb forever. (If I was in high school I would write that all over my pencil case!) [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] ps. This was a gift from [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] and Shine.
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P.S. This has nothing to do with Heather ... but since he was nice enough to take our Heather on a "proper" date as a mate to have a couple of beers with ... I believe we should give him a hand ... so, whoever is in Melbourne (his city) and is looking for some change in life:
Ash Williams ‏@ashwilliams1 Sep 20
I am looking for an assistant. This is real thing.
Wonderful opportunity to get into "showbiz" on top level.
email [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] x

[happygolucky]

@heather_maltman
I just wanted to say to ya'll that I hope you know from all of your messages, and funny comments just how aware I am that there are so many great strong people in this world. I'm so glad I went on [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] because I have felt so alone in this world. But what a massive learning curve it's been to find out you guys exist. I know all that sounds really lame. And I should crack a joke now. But I just wanted to give love back to all of you real, honest, fun, loving, fighting people who've started following my jam!!!! I am so in awe of your support and openness! [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] I hope you guys know how much it means to me. And feel as loved and special in return. Even the people have poo pooed stuff. You can have some love too. [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Heather ... since I don't have IG account to post there and I'm too shy on twitter, I take the opportunity here to say, that you are well accepted and appreciated around the world, not just in Australia ... and your decision to join The Bachelor show, no matter how "freaking" crazy that show is (and how much we make fun of everyone doing it), was a good call to spread your wings ... and the audience is global ... so you have new "followers" in Europe, Africa, Northern America, Asia (not sure if Russia too)...
but I'm really glad that now because of this show and through this forum I'm able to understand better other cultures, discover the beauty of the places I haven't seen yet (and I hope i will), make some "friends" and have some "brain-consuming" entertainment with all of you here.

wow ... DM doesn't have much "news" to write about so ... Heather comes "handy" again to fill the page:
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[happygolucky]

Studio 10 ‏@Studio10au 3 hours ago
@HeatherMaltman from [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] is joining us on the panel tomorrow! 8:30am on @channelten [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Heather Maltman ‏@HeatherMaltman 1 hour ago
Going to [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] with the best humans ever!!!!! I'll tell you who later... I'm going to eat a burger after and the models can't.

@heather_maltman
Guys... I'm telling you THESE guys are funny!!! Check it out. [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] bahhahahahahahaha Crew Up!!! Killing it.
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[happygolucky]

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Former The Bachelor frontrunner Heather Maltman believes host Osher Günsberg is tougher on the male contestants in The Bachelorette. (Pic: Stephen Cooper)

Heather Maltman recaps The Bachelorette: friendzoning and ‘Fro-Fro Fierce’

It’s a bit surreal watching a bunch of dudes in my house.

I wanted to tell them, “Can you make sure you do the dishes before you go? I know you’ve got to go on a date or whatever and you’ve got to get ready and make sure your pants match your shirt but can you put the towels through the wash before you leave? That’d be really great.”

I didn’t predict that Sam would pick Plumber Dave for the first date but I did have a feeling she’d pick someone a little more obscure. Throw a bit of a curve ball, keep everyone guessing.

Because if she picked Sasha then we’d all know that she’d picked Sasha — I don’t know if she HAS picked Sasha, I’ve just decided that she will. Obviously my intuition means nothing because I got dumped but I’m telling you, she picks Sasha.

Also, I’m getting a little nervous for Richie. He’s one of my favourites and I was hoping she’d give him the first date and get him off the bench — I’m using sports analogies here because the boys all constantly use them. If Richie doesn’t get off the bench before half time I think he’s going to find himself with a red card and get booted out.

But Plumber Dave and Sam had a fantastic date. Nice helicopter ride, straight to the SCG for some cricket, she didn’t have to bowl or pitch which I am totally for (because I am not a sports person) and so she could just sit on the sidelines and look hot in her black pants.

I’d tell Frosty to watch her language though because it could come back to bite her on the arse. Saying things like, “Blow him away on the first date” right before you go into a locker room and watch him get changed? (Although I am okay with that because any moment we have to watch the guys get changed is a beautiful thing.)

I want to talk about the group date now. When the girls went on a group date on The Bachelor, we felt the need to step up to the plate. We had to follow through because we felt like if we didn’t people would say we’re too girly, or we’re too scared or a princess.

The boys, on the other hand? They all stood back on that group date where they had to jump off a cliff and said, “Prove our love? Fat chance! If I want to jump, I’ll jump and if I don’t want to jump, I won’t jump.”

I was quite impressed that they all found their own way to do it though. In the end they realised, “Well she’s kind of hot, she’s kind of worth it.”

So they all stripped down — again, I love that she found another way to get the boys naked, thank you Sam Fro-Fro — and they all went for it.

Well, all of them except for Drew. But you know what? Harry Potter shouldn’t have to jump into a river to prove his love for her.

And it got him some one-on-one time. Very well played, Drew. And she even took him to the set of Hogwarts for it which showed she cared, she wanted him to feel at home.

I’m going to call it, but I think Harry Potter has a good chance of getting into top four. I think she may end up meeting the family and seeing, “This is my room under the stairs”. Insert your own Harry Potter jokes here.

Now onto the cocktail party and the rose ceremony. You know how Beyoncé has her alter ego Sasha Fierce? Sam has Fro-Fro Fierce. That moment she gave it to Blue Steel David after he had a go about why he thought she liked Michael was just amazing.

I totally get why she had a go at him. I would have probably given him both barrels and a little bit more.

Fro-Fro Fierce really did all the talking for us. She fronted up and said all of the things us girls watching at home wanted her to say. She was not afraid to say, “I don’t give a flying eff what you think.”

Hats off to her, I say.

He should have turned around then and there and said, “You know what, I really effed that up. I’m going to go. Sorry about that. Good luck with everything.”

I hope all the episodes get as intense as this one because that was just the best thing I’ve ever seen.

Osher is so much harder on the boys. He was kind of gentle with us girls.

With the guys he’s like, “You didn’t receive a rose — get out”. He’s so hardcore. “Don’t mess with my girl Sam, get out.” I’m going to start calling him Uncle Osher.

There is just one other thing I want to add before I sign off.

I want to sit Will down and explain to him about the zones.

I feel like I’ve got a little bit more understanding about how the zones work since having been on The Bachelor. And Will is not in the love zone, he is 100 per cent friend-zoned.

I want to start a hashtag for him which is [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]. I feel like we can find him somewhere he belongs because he’s a beautiful man.

Fan favourite of The Bachelor 2015, Heather Maltman, will be recapping The Bachelorette every Thursday night at RendezView

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[AllAboutLove]

Love that recap of Heather's [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]. Saw you posted it in Sam Frost's thread. Yay! I can see why they had Sam Frost's season so quickly. It is much more refreshing and real. Love it.

[happygolucky]

I posted it in one with no discussion, [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] ... you don't have to ask me, I'm just happy I found some "news" on Heather, otherwise I'm getting bored   , but if I posted in the wrong thread, just tell me, I'll delete my post, and you put it wherever it's more suitable.

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