The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - General Discussion - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

Having become a single mom years ago, my first priority was to provide stability for my kids. The last thing I would have considered doing was to leave them behind to go on a reality tv show to look for a new daddy for them. JMO but I do not see how this is responsible.  Having children makes starting a new relationship much more complicated and as a mom I cannot fathom doing this on the Bachelor.  Really it defies logic.  Why would any parent subject their children to this exposure?  

IMO the real reason every person who goes on a reality tv show like the Bachelor franchise is to look for fame and adventure.  The romance is just a hopeful sideline.     

ITA the Juelia storyline Bach/BIP is exploitation by her and TPTB.  Just say no.

JMO

jcrbil wrote:I'm hoping that Ben is like Sean in that people say, "wow" after that first night- that he is a little entertaining himself, but he also talks with the women in a way that lets us know that he values them (women in general).  Will a crazy one or two or three make it through about 7 episodes?  Probably.  Will one make it to f4?  Maybe even f3.  But I hope the young man who seems to have a level head will have 2 terrific women left at the end.

I think he's going to be great.

I don't paint everyone with the same brush. We have seen children on this show, and editing using the sympathy card for the contestant. Everyone is different. There may be a single mom who has had a rough time with an ex, who gives herself selfishly to the child, does nothing for herself, and this opportunity comes around for her to possibly meet someone and fall in love. Although the child is the first concern, with the right guy it can work. It works in real life, it seems to be working for Cassandra, certainly worked for the Mesnicks.

If Ben were in that situation, and he fell in love with a single mom, I have no doubt knowing the type of guy he is, he'd fall in love with the child as if they were his own. He would absolutely would know what challenges may lie ahead and would deal with them. That's better than saying, I don't want a single mom which is a problem for single parents everywhere.

Bach Aussie just finished their season, and he chose a single mom with a daughter.

I just don't like seeing the child involved on air, nor do I like seeing the eliminated single parent crying the blues because they feel sorry for themselves.

Seabear wrote:Having become a single mom years ago, my first priority was to provide stability for my kids. The last thing I would have considered doing was to leave them behind to go on a reality tv show to look for a new daddy for them. JMO but I do not see how this is responsible.  Having children makes starting a new relationship much more complicated and as a mom I cannot fathom doing this on the Bachelor.  Really it defies logic.  Why would any parent subject their children to this exposure?   

IMO the real reason every person who goes on a reality tv show like the Bachelor franchise is to look for fame and adventure.  The romance is just a hopeful sideline.     

ITA the Juelia storyline Bach/BIP is exploitation by her and TPTB.  Just say no.

JMO

Yup, I agree with the whole stability thing. I was raised by a single parent from age 12 on and that was the most important thing. The interesting thing is that most single parents on this show don't just leave their children once, but multiple times (Jason, Emily, Michelle, JJ, Jonathan, Julia, etc).

And, totally agree on the real reason these people go on. Jason has even talked about pre-Bachelorette dating on his podcast and it didn't seem like he had many issues. I think he could have easily found a wife living at home, but wanted to go on the Bachelor/ette for the same reasons as everyone else (fame, attention, paycheck, etc). It's pretty telling that from all the single parents that have gone on the show, only one has actually gotten love/marriage out of it. You would think that all the single parents at home would think "hey, maybe this doesn't work! Maybe 1 single parent finding love in the last 30 seasons is an indication that I would have better luck with eharmony and okcupid!".

I suppose it was just a matter of time before RS' little tidbit on Ben & Cassandra hit the mainstream.  This was on my news homepage.  Unfortunately, you can't hide anything these days from the public.  Someone is always willing to sell you out. :/
http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2015/09/18/ben-higgins-texted-cassandra-ferguson-

For me the problem with the single parents is the storyline always resolves around exploitation of the drama of being a single parent and this always involves the child in some way.  This is a reality tv show that thrives on dramatic backstory.

No doubt all the stories are different.  Those that involve the death of a parent are particularly disturbing. The deceased parent has family members who most certainly do not want to watch this tragic situation be exploited on a reality tv show.  I personally found Juelia's recitation of her husband death a painful over share. I felt very sorry for his parents and siblings. Having lost young family members to early death makes me very sensitive to this situation.  Some things are better left respectfully quiet and not exploited as part of a storyline to engender sympathy.  Juelia, Kelsey etc etc....

I am amazed that many parents particularly the custodial parent would ever even desire to leave their young child behind for a few weeks or months to do a tv show.  If they choose to do so I definitely do not want to hear the word "sacrifice" used anywhere in in describing that choice.  

I can understand the need for a single parent to have fun time since I was one.  Leaving the kids for a few days or a week is one thing but weeks or months is quite different. Young kids thrive on routine and stability.  The parents that choose to be on the Bachelor franchise IMO do so for their own personal gratification.  JMO

Ben is filming while home (Indiana), right? He has been spotted numerous places today, including where he used to work: Bakers Youth Club. He was also in two different shirts in a matter of one hour. Lol

eversotrue wrote:Ben is filming while home (Indiana), right? He has been spotted numerous places today, including where he used to work: Bakers Youth Club. He was also in two different shirts in a matter of one hour. Lol

Yes !

Can we please get those pictures in the thread? They're in his tagged photos on instagram.

I've actually been wondering this for a long time, but always forgot to ask: how did Ben come to be on TBETTE anyway? Did he sign himself up? Did someone else sign him up? Anyone know..?

eversotrue wrote:I've actually been wondering this for a long time, but always forgot to ask: how did Ben come to be on TBETTE anyway? Did he sign himself up? Did someone else sign him up? Anyone know..?

That's a good question I don't think he has ever talked about it

I'm listenening to Juliet/jacoby's podcast on Ben's first night right now and it's making me so excited for the season! I love their tidbit that Ben's go-to line when meeting the girls was "welcome to the mansion", haha. I loved that he listened to their grantland podcast this past season. They were so funny with their obsession with him and unconditional love for him.

Something interesting that i thought Juliette said was that Ben was really confortable on camera and was very agreeable to producer intervention/re-shooting scenes. I remember that during certain parts of Kaitlyn's season, I did get a rehearsed vibe from him so I really hop that's just him being a nice guy.