Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3

She said something about an inside scoop that bach fans will love. maybe a book or sort of afterbuzz show for the new b'ette season?

SueSt wrote:I think Andi was honestly looking for love on the show.  But she tried on the fiancée role and it didn’t fit.    Just like she tried on a lawyer role, a fashion designer role, a celebrity role.  She appears to be searching for what life/lifestyle would fit her best; I think searching is appropriate at her age.  And I actually commend for her commitment, she seems to throw herself into each role with a full heart.  Good for her; ultimately she will settle down and find the life that suits her best.  

My lingering distaste for Andi is about the way she treated Nick.  They both appear to have moved on and that’s terrific.  But her lack of empathy was stunning.  

Well, almost agree. I am not so sure if she was honestly looking for love but she sure did a convincing job in her role.

And, while I have never been a big JuanPablo fan, I was not impressed with how Andi handled that situation either.

But, I 100% agree that life is way too short to live it in a career you don't love. Your 20's or really any decade when you are not responsible for children or for aging adult parents are ideal for new adventure and discovery.

If Andi has got the funds to do it in NYC, more power to her! She is a beautiful girl for sure, and certainly seems smart and opportunistic.

sara11 wrote:She said something about an inside scoop that bach fans will love. maybe a book or sort of afterbuzz show for the new b'ette season?

Good thought ... bet its a book if BIP2 is really off the table.

I also wouldn't be surprised if she lands some sort of hosting role too. She is very photogenic and we know does a great interview based on her skills with the guys on her show!

Plus, Chris H always called her a great actress, which I am guessing Nick can attest too.

jen689 wrote:

MVMom39forever wrote:...Chris H always called her a great actress, which I am guessing Nick can attest too

I just when I think of how Andi led Nick on. Hopefully they'll both find partners that are better suited towards their lifestyles, interests and personalities :Nod:

Every week I kept rooting for Nick but wishing the Bachelorette was someone else.  How wonderfully ironic that he will be with a different bachelorette - such a brilliant love story revision   . And, it's the fun, gentle spirited but observant Kaitlyn this time. 

  Andi got the guy she wanted.  On the show she had said she had never had her heart broken so no doubt this new experience was a challenge. The upside, for her, is that the Bette brand opens doors so that's always exciting.  I think she would have been aiming for higher profile opportunities even if her relationship with Josh was solid and had continued. 

Josh is also in a good place now. He acted on the knowledge the relationship wasn't working and didn't prolong it or resist the breakup. His work seems to be going well and he has said he is interested in being the next Bach so obviously he is ready as were Marcus, Chris, and Nick. 

Amazing how everyone, 1 year later, appears to be better off than might have been imagined..

I think we all can agree that people with good character are more admirable and typically more likable to us. But, what is good character? (We like and admire Mary because she is a good person.)

A good character is displayed by the consistent wise or ethical choices one makes in life. Most people can easily identify an ethical choice, because society for the most part has well-defined rules of morality and ethics, based a centuries of customs and mores. But how do we define the smaller (yet, perhaps, equally important) choice as wise? (We like and admire Mary because she acts morally and makes good life choices.)

We define a choice or action as wise if it aligns with a what we perceive to be good values or a good value system. A wise choice will be one that reinforces a good value and reaffirms its worth. (Mary made a wise choice in obeying all traffic laws on her way to work and not causing any traffic-related deaths this morning.)

A person's value system is made up of hundreds of different individual values---values that are often stressed by our own parents/mentors or that were gained via very personal experiences in our own lives. No two people have the exact same life experiences, therefore, no two people have the exact same value systems. (Mary took her bonus check from work and donated it to the Red Cross. Jane took her bonus check and put it in her child's college fund. Sally took her bonus and bought a newer car.)

The reason why some of us will NEVER agree about Andi's character and life choices is that we will NEVER agree about which values are better than others. We each value different things in life and nobody will ever convince us otherwise. If we change our opinions it will be because of something that occurs to us in our own lives to make us change.

Nothing makes my point better than for a person to evaluate what it means to be a good mother. For those on this board who are mothers themselves, think about it. Your children have friends, but how many of those friends has a mother who mothers exactly the same way you do? (I'm sure you've been told on several occasions that you are the only mother who won't let her...) The answer is 'none'. Yet, if someone were to ask you why as a mother you do the things that you do, you would answer them that you do what you think is best. We have a million mothers in the world with a million of them thinking that they know what's best. Is it any wonder we all quibble about Andi and her choices?

To be honest, for as much as I may vent on this board or criticize Andi for her lifestyle choices (undies in the kitchen, kissy faces, $hoe$...), none of those things truly matters to me. That's city mouse versus country mouse stuff. That's I say 'toMAto' and you say 'TOmaTO' stuff. What matters most to me, what sits at the top of my own value system hierarchy, are two values: Treating people with empathy and Being independent and able to stand on one's own 2 feet. And on those two, I'm afraid Andi falls short of my standards, and that colors everything else I see from her. And that's my truth.

MiaHawk wrote:I think we all can agree that people with good character are more admirable and typically more likable to us. But, what is good character? (We like and admire Mary because she is a good person.)

A good character is displayed by the consistent wise or ethical choices one makes in life. Most people can easily identify an ethical choice, because society for the most part has well-defined rules of morality and ethics, based a centuries of customs and mores. But how do we define the smaller (yet, perhaps, equally important) choice as wise? (We like and admire Mary because she acts morally and makes good life choices.)

We define a choice or action as wise if it aligns with a what we perceive to be good values or a good value system. A wise choice will be one that reinforces a good value and reaffirms its worth. (Mary made a wise choice in obeying all traffic laws on her way to work and not causing any traffic-related deaths this morning.)

A person's value system is made up of hundreds of different individual values---values that are often stressed by our own parents/mentors or that were gained via very personal experiences in our own lives. No two people have the exact same life experiences, therefore, no two people have the exact same value systems. (Mary took her bonus check from work and donated it to the Red Cross. Jane took her bonus check and put it in her child's college fund. Sally took her bonus and bought a newer car.)

The reason why some of us will NEVER agree about Andi's character and life choices is that we will NEVER agree about which values are better than others.  We each value different things in life and nobody will ever convince us otherwise. If we change our opinions it will be because of something that occurs to us in our own lives to make us change.  

Nothing makes my point better than for a person to evaluate what it means to be a good mother. For those on this board who are mothers themselves, think about it. Your children have friends, but how many of those friends has a mother who mothers exactly the same way you do? (I'm sure you've been told on several occasions that you are the only mother who won't let her...)  The answer is 'none'. Yet, if someone were to ask you why as a mother you do the things that you do, you would answer them that you do what you think is best. We have a million mothers in the world with a million of them thinking that they know what's best. Is it any wonder we all quibble about Andi and her choices?

To be honest, for as much as I may vent on this board or criticize Andi for her lifestyle choices (undies in the kitchen, kissy faces, $hoe$...), none of those things truly matters to me. That's city mouse versus country mouse stuff. That's I say 'toMAto' and you say 'TOmaTO' stuff. What matters most to me, what sits at the top of my own value system hierarchy, are two values: Treating people with empathy and Being independent and able to stand on one's own 2 feet. And on those two, I'm afraid Andi falls short of my standards, and that colors everything else I see from her. And that's my truth.        

I see it the same way too, the parts that ate bold

sara11 wrote:She said something about an inside scoop that bach fans will love. maybe a book or sort of afterbuzz show for the new b'ette season?

Doubt it would be afterbuzz considering she lives in new york

ReneeM wrote:

sara11 wrote:She said something about an inside scoop that bach fans will love. maybe a book or sort of afterbuzz show for the new b'ette season?

Doubt it would be afterbuzz considering she lives in new york

Yeah I don't think it would be afterbuzz but maybe her own version thereof

Very true on all accounts, Mia.
I certainly am governed by my rearing and life experience in terms of how I view the values hierarchy.  My top 5 in random order: recognizing accountability to self and for own actions without being governed by outside forces, compassionate, ability to compromise without foresaking own needs, empathy, and the ability to recognize beauty in a meaningful way. 

I project my bias when deciding if I "like" someone on TV  .  I choose those I feel are relatable.

Maybe she is going to have her own show about her life living in NYC  . But again if she landed a hosting gig that can happen . Seems that is the path she wants to do . Being in the spotlight .

For everybody questioning what Andi did on summers off I am pretty sure that I read an interview that Andi did that said she did work summers for the DA and was lucky enough to have a mentor in him. So she absolutely did work summers in some capacity with the law.

^ that makes sense! Thanks.