Andi Dorfman - The Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #3

eliza3 wrote:^^^  I admire Andi but don't really want to get into a discussion about my thoughts here.  I think that it has been long enough that those of us who following her and have opinions on why will never agree with those who don't.  So to me, that conversation will end up with agreeing to disagree.    JMHO

I am not here to disagree with your opinion I just really want to know why people say she is a role model and a strong woman. :cutesmile!: I just don't see it.

whit90 wrote:

eliza3 wrote:^^^  I admire Andi but don't really want to get into a discussion about my thoughts here.  I think that it has been long enough that those of us who following her and have opinions on why will never agree with those who don't.  So to me, that conversation will end up with agreeing to disagree.    JMHO

I am not here  to disagree with your opinion I just really want to know why people say she is a role model and a strong woman.  :cutesmile!:  I just don't see it.

I don’t necessarily think Andi should be considered a role model nor do I think she’s trying to be one. I do believe she has accomplished more than many women her age. Getting a law degree, passing the bar, and becoming an ADA is no small feat. It requires intelligence and discipline. These are admirable qualities that are not bad things for young girls to aspire to.
Another opportunity, bachelor/bachelorette, presented itself and she took it and IMO she’s received undue criticism ever since. I think Andi’s intention to find true love was real and I also believe she found it, and her worst fears were realized - It ended in heartbreak. All we can do is speculate as to what happened and we all have different opinions. I think the love was there and still is, but a change in careers for both, disillusionment on both sides, and other forces, possibly beyond their control, interferred.
We shouldn’t claim to know that Andi is living off her parents because we have no clue where her money is coming from and I think it’s an unfair assumption to make without facts to back it up. I don’t think Andi’s move to New York was calculated. I think the breakup destroyed her self confidence and she is hoping that a move to New York City might give her a fresh start. I don’t think she’s ashamed to let us know that she is having a rough time and wants to share what it’s like being a fish out of water in a new city. Some of us feel she’s sharing too much and being too candid, and some of us find it endearing. We all have a right to our opinions on that. I think the constant criticism and negativity that she’s getting on SM is sending a message to young girls that it’s not okay to be human, make mistakes, and faulter. This to me is more damaging than Andi displaying her laundry in the kitchen. I agree in the end, that we will all have to agree to disagree.

Elle wrote:

whit90 wrote:

eliza3 wrote:^^^  I admire Andi but don't really want to get into a discussion about my thoughts here.  I think that it has been long enough that those of us who following her and have opinions on why will never agree with those who don't.  So to me, that conversation will end up with agreeing to disagree.    JMHO

I am not here  to disagree with your opinion I just really want to know why people say she is a role model and a strong woman.  :cutesmile!:  I just don't see it.

I don’t necessarily think Andi should be considered a role model nor do I think she’s trying to be one.  I do believe she has accomplished more than many women her age.  Getting a law degree, passing the bar, and becoming an ADA is no small feat.  It requires intelligence and discipline. These are admirable qualities that are not bad things for young girls to aspire to.  
Another opportunity, bachelor/bachelorette, presented itself and she took it and IMO she’s received undue criticism ever since.  I think Andi’s intention to find true love was real and I also believe she found it, and her worst fears were realized - It ended in heartbreak. All  we can do is speculate as to what happened and  we all have different opinions.  I think the love was there and still is, but a change in careers for both, disillusionment on both sides, and other forces, possibly beyond their control, interferred.  
We shouldn’t claim to know that Andi is living off her parents because we have no clue where her money is coming from and I think it’s an unfair assumption to make without facts to back it up. I don’t think Andi’s move to New York was calculated.  I think the breakup destroyed her self confidence and she is hoping that a move to New York City might give her a fresh start. I don’t think she’s ashamed to let us know that she is having a rough time and wants to share what it’s like being a fish out of water in a new city.  Some of us feel she’s sharing too much and being too candid, and some of us find it endearing. We all have a right to our opinions on that. I think the constant criticism and negativity that she’s getting on SM is sending a message to young girls that it’s not okay to be human, make mistakes, and faulter.  This to me is more damaging than Andi displaying her laundry in the kitchen. I agree in the end, that we will all have to agree to disagree.

Excellent post Elle! I couldn't have said it better!

Well written Elle - ITA with all of it.

Elle wrote:

whit90 wrote:

eliza3 wrote:^^^  I admire Andi but don't really want to get into a discussion about my thoughts here.  I think that it has been long enough that those of us who following her and have opinions on why will never agree with those who don't.  So to me, that conversation will end up with agreeing to disagree.    JMHO

I am not here  to disagree with your opinion I just really want to know why people say she is a role model and a strong woman.  :cutesmile!:  I just don't see it.

I don’t necessarily think Andi should be considered a role model nor do I think she’s trying to be one.  I do believe she has accomplished more than many women her age.  Getting a law degree, passing the bar, and becoming an ADA is no small feat.  It requires intelligence and discipline. These are admirable qualities that are not bad things for young girls to aspire to.  
Another opportunity, bachelor/bachelorette, presented itself and she took it and IMO she’s received undue criticism ever since.  I think Andi’s intention to find true love was real and I also believe she found it, and her worst fears were realized - It ended in heartbreak. All  we can do is speculate as to what happened and  we all have different opinions.  I think the love was there and still is, but a change in careers for both, disillusionment on both sides, and other forces, possibly beyond their control, interferred.  
We shouldn’t claim to know that Andi is living off her parents because we have no clue where her money is coming from and I think it’s an unfair assumption to make without facts to back it up. I don’t think Andi’s move to New York was calculated.  I think the breakup destroyed her self confidence and she is hoping that a move to New York City might give her a fresh start. I don’t think she’s ashamed to let us know that she is having a rough time and wants to share what it’s like being a fish out of water in a new city.  Some of us feel she’s sharing too much and being too candid, and some of us find it endearing. We all have a right to our opinions on that. I think the constant criticism and negativity that she’s getting on SM is sending a message to young girls that it’s not okay to be human, make mistakes, and faulter.  This to me is more damaging than Andi displaying her laundry in the kitchen. I agree in the end, that we will all have to agree to disagree.

Thank You for replying :cutesmile!:

I mean no disrespect...getting through law school and passing the bar is definitely an accomplishment. However, I think if you talk to most lawyers, they will tell you that's the "easy" part. Surviving a career in law is the hard part. It's the same for most career paths; as hard as the education and training might seem, it needs to be hard to prepare you for the even more difficult career. It's really hard for me to look past the fact that Andi has repeatedly portrayed herself to be a driven, career woman but she quit her job less than a year into it and never went back.

I do think that Andi truly fell in love and moved to NYC for a fresh break. I don't necessarily blame her for her privilege (whether the money is coming from her parents or her Bachelorette gig, hopefully, we can all agree that it came very easily). I suppose that if we all had the opportunity to give up our boring jobs to pursue our passions, we would. I just blame her for not putting in the hard work needed to accomplish her dreams.

I mean no disrespect either, but having several attorneys in my family I know we would disagree. While school is long, tedious and difficult depending on your skills and intellect, passing the bar is no easy task. All of the attorneys in my family love the law and the work they are doing. One of my sons was a accomplished classical musician before he went to law school. He knew within a year that what he had studied to do for 20 years was not the career he wanted, hence the switch to the law, where he is very happy.

My point is, sometimes you just know when a career is not right for you. Why continue to work on something that you don't like when there may be other opportunities that will make you happy. So I applaud Andi for being brave enough to admit to herself what she wanted and try it.

eliza3 wrote:I mean no disrespect either, but having several attorneys in my family I know we would disagree.  While school is long, tedious and difficult depending on your skills and intellect, passing the  bar is no easy task.  All of the attorneys in my family love the law and the work they are doing.  One of my sons was a accomplished classical musician before he went to law school.  He knew within a year that what he had studied to do for 20 years was not the career he wanted, hence the switch to the law, where he is very happy.

My point is, sometimes you just know when a career is not right for you.  Why continue to work on something that you don't like when there may be other opportunities that will make you happy.   So I applaud Andi for being brave enough to admit to herself what she wanted and try it.

I think Andi doing a "lawyer" intro to her season in addition to talking about returning to law in several interviews while the season was progressing made her latent announcement to leave her law career more confusing than it needed to be.  To some, it gave the impression that  she knew she would be pursuing a different career path earlier than she announced and may haven just been talking about her law credentials because it was a better image sell at the time.

notarose wrote:

eliza3 wrote:I mean no disrespect either, but having several attorneys in my family I know we would disagree.  While school is long, tedious and difficult depending on your skills and intellect, passing the  bar is no easy task.  All of the attorneys in my family love the law and the work they are doing.  One of my sons was a accomplished classical musician before he went to law school.  He knew within a year that what he had studied to do for 20 years was not the career he wanted, hence the switch to the law, where he is very happy.

My point is, sometimes you just know when a career is not right for you.  Why continue to work on something that you don't like when there may be other opportunities that will make you happy.   So I applaud Andi for being brave enough to admit to herself what she wanted and try it.

I think Andi doing a "lawyer" intro to her season in addition to talking about returning to law in several interviews while the season was progressing made her latent announcement to leave her law career more confusing than it needed to be.  To some, it gave the impression that  she knew she would be pursuing a different career path earlier than she announced and may haven just been talking about her law credentials because it was a better image sell at the time.

I think what many don't care for is that she sold us an image, but it was a false image. I realise that the producers set up storylines/images/careers to some extent...weird careers, careers that aren't, catchy careers...but, Andi came on promoting herself as a tough talking, no nonsense, gang busting ADA....and then promptly turned around and basically dumped all of that. I have no problem with her deciding to switch careers if she doesn't like the law. I guess what I have a problem with is that she is talking about what she wants to do and yet doing very little to actually pursue and accomplish that. Yes, she designed a t-shirt...but basically copied an iconic design. Yes, she designed and sewed her dress to Chris' premier...but again copied a fairly standard design that has been around for ages and did a shoddy job of sewing it. She did it at the last minute even though she knew that this would be a perfect opportunity to show off her talent. Now she is modelling in New York...for a company that has been starting up for five years!...when she is not working out at the gym, shopping or travelling. I don't really see much effort in any of these things. Now maybe, if she signed herself up for design school it would be different.

I have a cousin who actually is studying design in London, England with an emphasis on theater design. While she five years younger than Andi...and still posts plenty of selfies with her friends out and about having fun....the rest of her postings have to do with her school and the work she does in the theater where she is working to gain some practical experience. She is working her butt off because she knows just how hard it is to get into that field. She is doing everything she can to prepare and declining some fun things that her friends want to do...including travel...because she is taking it very seriously. I'd need to see at least a fraction of that effort from Andi before I can start taking her seriously about a career change. She even has Des from the Bachelor family who would be the perfect person to seek advice from and yet, I don't think we have seen even that much effort.

eliza3 wrote:I mean no disrespect either, but having several attorneys in my family I know we would disagree.  While school is long, tedious and difficult depending on your skills and intellect, passing the  bar is no easy task.  All of the attorneys in my family love the law and the work they are doing.  One of my sons was a accomplished classical musician before he went to law school.  He knew within a year that what he had studied to do for 20 years was not the career he wanted, hence the switch to the law, where he is very happy.

My point is, sometimes you just know when a career is not right for you.  Why continue to work on something that you don't like when there may be other opportunities that will make you happy.   So I applaud Andi for being brave enough to admit to herself what she wanted and try it.

Again, I don't necessarily have a problem with that. Like I said, if you have the financial security to drop a decent-paying job for your passion, do it! My problem is that a) throughout promoting both The Bachelor/The Bachelorette, she talked about how much she loved the law and was excited to get back to it and b) she has not being showing any signs of hard work for the past year regarding her dream to become a fashion designer. If she was doing an internship or applying to schools, I could take her seriously. She just comes off as entitled, wanting this amazing career without really training for it properly.

chasingpavements wrote:

eliza3 wrote:I mean no disrespect either, but having several attorneys in my family I know we would disagree.  While school is long, tedious and difficult depending on your skills and intellect, passing the  bar is no easy task.  All of the attorneys in my family love the law and the work they are doing.  One of my sons was a accomplished classical musician before he went to law school.  He knew within a year that what he had studied to do for 20 years was not the career he wanted, hence the switch to the law, where he is very happy.

My point is, sometimes you just know when a career is not right for you.  Why continue to work on something that you don't like when there may be other opportunities that will make you happy.   So I applaud Andi for being brave enough to admit to herself what she wanted and try it.

Again, I don't necessarily have a problem with that. Like I said, if you have the financial security to drop a decent-paying job for your passion, do it! My problem is that a) throughout promoting both The Bachelor/The Bachelorette, she talked about how much she loved the law and was excited to get back to it and b) she has not being showing any signs of hard work for the past year regarding her dream to become a fashion designer. If she was doing an internship or applying to schools, I could take her seriously. She just comes off as entitled, wanting this amazing career without really training for it properly.

I think Andi is still looking for everthing easy and fame. And I still think she under estimates the intelligence of most people on sm. A real job could be life changing for her & how people see her  IMO .