Bachelor 19 - Chris Soules - Women Tell All - *Spoilers & Sleuthing* - Discussion

mindless wrote:I think Whitney is a nice person overall, but she does have her occasional catty moments just like the rest of us. I can imagine even the nicest person getting a bit catty in a situation like this.

What bothered me, however, was how she was acting towards her very reasonable sister. She was basically trying to guilt trip her into giving her blessing, which I found ridiculous, because what good is a blessing that doesn't come from the heart? It's like she was thinking that it's part of the script and something that must happen if she wants to end up with Chris. Then the sister didn't even say no, just call me when she's the only one, yet she was still really upset about it. I found that so strange and then she had to bring it up again on the boat. Even Chris looked like he was thinking what on earth. I don't think he considered it an issue at all, yet she was acting like it may ruin everything. The comment about wanting the date to be 100% perfect and being disappointed when it was only 99% perfect was really alarming to me. She just sounded like a total control freak at that moment and I think it worried Chris as well.

I think she did a great job explaining why she was disappointed that her sister couldn't give her blessing but understood her sister was protective. Her sister had to grow up quickly and was responsible for taking care of her. On the boat I thought she explained herself well. Chris also said in this discussion, "she'll give me her blessing when the time is right". Which sounded to me that he seemed certain at some point he would ask for it.

Believe you me, if I didn't like you, I could rip you a new one in between the time it took ya to blink an eye. Thankfully, there are few people I don't like.
If I like you, you would never have anyone more loyal in your corner.
And if I didn't know you, I would give you every bit of respect and patience to get to know you.
I don't take too many of the comments regarding the women seriously. We see snips of who they are, frankenbytes, comments take out of context and edits. I don't know them and I don't expect many others here do either. JMO

Rolly wrote:

mindless wrote:I think Whitney is a nice person overall, but she does have her occasional catty moments just like the rest of us. I can imagine even the nicest person getting a bit catty in a situation like this.

What bothered me, however, was how she was acting towards her very reasonable sister. She was basically trying to guilt trip her into giving her blessing, which I found ridiculous, because what good is a blessing that doesn't come from the heart? It's like she was thinking that it's part of the script and something that must happen if she wants to end up with Chris. Then the sister didn't even say no, just call me when she's the only one, yet she was still really upset about it. I found that so strange and then she had to bring it up again on the boat. Even Chris looked like he was thinking what on earth. I don't think he considered it an issue at all, yet she was acting like it may ruin everything. The comment about wanting the date to be 100% perfect and being disappointed when it was only 99% perfect was really alarming to me. She just sounded like a total control freak at that moment and I think it worried Chris as well.

I think she did a great job explaining why she was disappointed that her sister couldn't give her blessing but understood her sister was protective. Her sister had to grow up quickly and was responsible for taking care of her. On the boat I thought she explained herself well. Chris also said in this discussion, "she'll give me her blessing when the time is right". Which sounded to me that he seemed certain at some point he would ask for it.

When the time is right .. Left in for a reason :Nod:

I don't know that any of us can talk about someone else's family dynamic. I'm an only but noticed that when families get together everyone falls back into the place they were while growing up. Whitney and her sister have a history that we can't possibly know.

I find it hard to understand why someone is considered mean spirited, jealous, etc when all they're doing is talking to a producer in a PI. It's not like they're telling off someone to their face. I'm sure I'd have been doing the same thing after dealing with two faced Britt and some of the other crazies. I don't think Whitney, Carly, or Kaitlyn were anything but normal given the strange situation.   :Nod:

northernviewer wrote:

Mustang19 wrote:I know a lot of people don't like Britt, I guess I'm in the minority. Unless I missed it, I don't think she's really done anything wrong. I don't see her living in Iowa, but she would have to deal with that if Chris had chosen her.  I still like Carly, but she went down a few notches after the episode when she and Britt left. And I certainly don't like to see anyone ganged up on on national TV. Maybe people like Bentley and Kalon deserved it, but no one this season did anything that comes close to that.

I'm part of the minority too.  She's not my favorite by any means but I don't see why she's being treated like she is by so many and I feel this silly need to stand up for her.  I see where people are coming from as to why they don't care for her, but I don't get the hate.  I found Kelsey to be much worse, I find Carly and Whitney to be much meaner and cattier, but Britt is the one that's been ostracized.  :hidingchair

Britt isn't mean, but she comes across super fake. Depending on one's tolerance, I can see how some of the other girls "mean" and "cattiness" comes out. I'm with Sharleen about her. I'm just irritated by her "On-ness" and perhaps my inner mean girl would come out too.

albean99 wrote:I don't know that any of us can talk about someone else's family dynamic. I'm an only but noticed that when families get together everyone falls back into the place they were while growing up. Whitney and her sister have a history that we can't possibly know.

I find it hard to understand why someone is considered mean spirited, jealous, etc when all they're doing is talking to a producer in a PI. It's not like they're telling off someone to their face. I'm sure I'd have been doing the same thing after dealing with two faced Britt and some of the other crazies. I don't think Whitney, Carly, or Kaitlyn were anything but normal given the strange situation.   :Nod:

I have always been one to respect a person more if they will tell me to my face than behind my back. I can learn and grow if you share with me, but if you pretend everything is fine, I don't have a chance.

So yeah, I think I am just the opposite of most. I like Becca's staying true to herself. I would have respected all the women if they told Britt the truth. I supported Carly until the nasty, ha ha how does it feel after Britt left. That was just plain mean.

To each their own.

I just read Sharleen's recap of the epi where Britt went home and she made a really good point that Britt had it in for Kaitlyn. She also reminded me of how often Britt acted as if she was the only one there or at least the only one who's feelings matter. I'll take any of the snarky comments the others made in ITMs over the way she acted. 

I'm sure all of them have some regrets watching the show whether it was comments made to the camera or something else they did or didn't do. They're all human just like we are which is why some things (or people) bother us that doesn't bother someone else. Watching this show is subjective and even though it's easy to use absolutes, there's probably more gray area then anything else.

california90 wrote:

northernviewer wrote:

Mustang19 wrote:I know a lot of people don't like Britt, I guess I'm in the minority. Unless I missed it, I don't think she's really done anything wrong. I don't see her living in Iowa, but she would have to deal with that if Chris had chosen her.  I still like Carly, but she went down a few notches after the episode when she and Britt left. And I certainly don't like to see anyone ganged up on on national TV. Maybe people like Bentley and Kalon deserved it, but no one this season did anything that comes close to that.

I'm part of the minority too.  She's not my favorite by any means but I don't see why she's being treated like she is by so many and I feel this silly need to stand up for her.  I see where people are coming from as to why they don't care for her, but I don't get the hate.  I found Kelsey to be much worse, I find Carly and Whitney to be much meaner and cattier, but Britt is the one that's been ostracized.  :hidingchair

Britt isn't mean, but she comes across super fake. Depending on one's tolerance, I can see how some of the other girls "mean" and "cattiness" comes out. I'm with Sharleen about her. I'm just irritated by her "On-ness" and perhaps my inner mean girl would come out too.

I see there was lot's of comments since I was last here, but would just like to clarify that my comment (quoted above) was in comparison to Britt. Britt's being ranked as being one of the worst contestants of all time... and I'm (my personal opinion) seeing much worse in some of the others who's poor conduct is being overlooked for a variety of reasons.

stuckinsc wrote:

albean99 wrote:I don't know that any of us can talk about someone else's family dynamic. I'm an only but noticed that when families get together everyone falls back into the place they were while growing up. Whitney and her sister have a history that we can't possibly know.

I find it hard to understand why someone is considered mean spirited, jealous, etc when all they're doing is talking to a producer in a PI. It's not like they're telling off someone to their face. I'm sure I'd have been doing the same thing after dealing with two faced Britt and some of the other crazies. I don't think Whitney, Carly, or Kaitlyn were anything but normal given the strange situation.   :Nod:

I have always been one to respect a person more if they will tell me to my face than behind my back.  I can learn and grow if you share with me, but if you pretend everything is fine, I don't have a chance.

So yeah, I think I am just the opposite of most.  I like Becca's staying true to herself.  I would have respected all the women if they told Britt the truth. I supported Carly until the nasty, ha ha how does it feel after Britt left.  That was just plain mean.

To each their own.

Of course we are only seeing an edited version of Becca along with all the other girls. No one is perfect all the time, especially in this clustered mess of a show.

Even the nicest, most mature people have their off moments. What is more telling to me is the fact that the other women liked her and got along with her and seem to still be maintaining a friendship post show.

While I don't care for Britt, I don't consider her a horrible person. I can't take the over the top reactions...those kind of things drive me crazy in real life. Giggly, girly girls who try to manipulate people...particularly men...using that ultra feminine shtick, annoy me. They annoy me even more when they are called on their bull and then turn it on you because you are supposedly jealous of them...because, sadly for you, you are not as attractive as they are. (I got a lot of that BS during Emily's seasons. Oh, how wrong they turned out to be on all counts.)

I watched Britt in the interview they did post show. Ah, the sincere looks, the dramatic pauses and no acceptance that maybe, just maybe, Chris dumping her really had very little to do with the other women and more to do with her own behaviour. They naturally ganged up on her because they were jealous. Such an easy out and one of those things that really pushes my buttons. Oh, and surpisingly...not...she ever so graciously would accept the role as the next Bette. The constant preening with her hair alone, would drive me bat sh*t crazy!!!

Sorry.
Deep breath.
End of rant.

Sprite wrote:Even the nicest, most mature people have their off moments. What is more telling to me is the fact that the other women liked her and got along with her and seem to still be maintaining a friendship post show.

While I don't care for Britt, I don't consider her a horrible person. I can't take the over the top reactions...those kind of things drive me crazy in real life. Giggly, girly girls who try to manipulate people...particularly men...using that ultra feminine shtick, annoy me. They annoy me even more when they are called on their bull and then turn it on you because you are supposedly jealous of them...because, sadly for you, you are not as attractive as they are. (I got a lot of that BS during Emily's seasons. Oh, how wrong they turned out to be on all counts.)

I watched Britt in the interview they did post show. Ah, the sincere looks, the dramatic pauses and no acceptance that maybe, just maybe, Chris dumping her really had very little to do with the other women and more to do with her own behaviour. They naturally ganged up on her because they were jealous. Such an easy out and one of those things that really pushes my buttons. Oh, and surpisingly...not...she ever so graciously would accept the role as the next Bette. The constant preening with her hair alone, would drive me bat sh*t crazy!!!

Sorry.
Deep breath.
End of rant.

I so agree w/your assessment of how people are portrayed on this show. I am sure with every contestant that has ever been on the show, you can find moments where they were mean and snarky and likewise, you can find moments where they were kind and gracious. We only see an extremely tiny portion of all the countless hours that were filmed, and we only see what TPTB wants us to see in order to tell their story. Each and every one of these contestants are much more than just their edit on this show.

I agree w/your assessment of Britt as well. No, she is not a horrible person at all, in fact, I don't think they ever showed any ITM's or any other time where she specifically was being mean or snarky towards another contestant. But, like you, I didn't care for her over-the-top emoting and the attitude she had that she deserved validation from Chris over all the other girls. All of them were vulnerable and all of them wanted Chris to put them first. Her feelings are not more valid than any one else's. I also didn't care for her calling Chris out in front of Carly and Kaitlyn. That was just really selfish and insensitive. It still doesn't make her a horrible person, it makes her human. I think a better measurement of their character is how they behave post show. I didn't care for how Britt acted when she appeared on the Jimmy Kimmel show. She still had all those over-the-top reactions and almost cartoonish reactions to things. I just do not care for that type of behavior in anyone because it comes off as not being genuine, imo.

I personally think from the moment Britt stepped out of the limo, she was auditioning for the role of bachelorette. I do not fault her for that because I think that most of these contestants have in the back of their mind that they could potentially be the lead. I don't feel that thinking that way is any more unrealistic than thinking that you are going to be the last one standing at the end. Whether or not Britt was truly being herself or she was purposely playing the role that she thought would make her the bachelorette, it really fell flat because it didn't come off as genuine to me.

I can't wait for the WTA to see how the Britt segments are handled. I think if the girls attack her, it won't be because the other women thought that she said anything mean about them, it will be because she felt and acted like she was the only one that had feelings that mattered.

albean99 wrote:I just read Sharleen's recap of the epi where Britt went home and she made a really good point that Britt had it in for Kaitlyn. She also reminded me of how often Britt acted as if she was the only one there or at least the only one who's feelings matter. I'll take any of the snarky comments the others made in ITMs over the way she acted. 

Yeah, that's what bothered me about her the entire time. It wasn't something specific she did, but there were so many instances when another girl got a date or a rose and she would just start crying and subtly make it all about her. Then she'd be like "I'm sorry, I'm happy for you, I'm just so sad for meee" or some such nonsense. All the girls were in the same situation and jealous of each other, yet the others mostly had the decency to keep their thoughts to themselves or to the camera. That's what a mature adult does, they keep their emotions under control to avoid pissing all over someone else's excitement. What Britt was doing just comes off as attention seeking. That's why it bothers me when people reduce the other women's dislike of Britt to jealousy. Britt was the one acting openly jealous about every little nugget the other women received from Chris.

Add to that her making herself the victim of sabotage by someone she thought was a friend. First of all, Carly questioned her to her face several times, she wasn't hiding her frustration by the end. Second of all, Carly didn't make her have that random tantrum in front of Chris for no real reason. That was her downfall, not Carly. Making herself out to be the victim, which she apparently continues at WTA, just shows how manipulative she is. Carly saw through her and I can totally relate to her being genuinely frustrated, because I was too watching Britt play Chris like a fiddle. I don't think Carly spoke up out of jealousy, but genuine frustration. While Carly was telling Chris about Britt's 180, even my boyfriend said "aww, she's just a genuinely nice person". I think she is too, even if she did go a bit too far with the trash talk in the end.

Now I don't think Britt is some genuine villain with evil intentions or that she did anything horrible. I just don't like her manipulative and attention-seeking behaviour and would hate to have them reward her for it by making her the Bachelorette. I don't want to watch someone fake as the lead, because I couldn't take anything she says or does seriously. I want some reality in my reality TV.