Re: Juan Pablo & Nikki Ferrell - Fan Forum - Discussion - Couples Therapy Premier Sept 10 2014

[Isabel123]

There were 2 things Dr. Jenn told Nikki that I think are very valuable for any individual, celebrity or not.
1. "You can't choose your feelings, but you can choose your behaviors". (Probably not her exact words, but to that effect.)
2. "It's up to you to teach him how to treat you.  If you don't give him specific directions, he'll never know" (This goes for men too.)

I think Nikki & JP could really improve their communication skills if they thought about these 2 points.

Despite the setup of the show and all the artificiality, I appreciate when something of worth to anybody comes across.  

Metalgirl. Thanks for the recap. Just got home and getting ready to watch the epi 3. I've been reading all the comments and will add my 2 cents later.

[Isabel123]

Someone tweeted EvelDick and asked if a Nikki was as much of a ***** as she seems watching Couples Therapy.

His response:

@EvelDick: @ermaldude Naw, I adore Nikki. I got closest with her

It is good she is getting some support from the other cast members.

I appreciate Dick's support of the couple. I really like when he spoke to Nikki frankly and give her an advice.

[Isabel123]

Juan Pablo Galavis™ @JuanPaGalavis · 19h
Yes, TOTALLY!!! RT @AHelmbold: @JuanPaGalavis does couples therapy work? Is it worth going through?

[docnash14]

There were 2 things Dr. Jenn told Nikki that I think are very valuable for any individual, celebrity or not.
1. "You can't choose your feelings, but you can choose your behaviors". (Probably not her exact words, but to that effect.)
2. "It's up to you to teach him how to treat you.  If you don't give him specific directions, he'll never know" (This goes for men too.)

I think Nikki & JP could really improve their communication skills if they thought about these 2 points.

Despite the setup of the show and all the artificiality, I appreciate when something of worth to anybody comes across.  

I agree with you about the value inherent in both of these comments made by Dr. Jenn. And I am hoping that Nikki took some of this to heart as I think I read somewhere Nikki saying that her getting in "trouble" with Dr. Jenn was the turning point for her.

That being said, I was not on board at all with how Dr. Jenn handled the individual sessions with JP and Nikki. Therapists have different protocols about whether to see a couple with whom they are doing couples work also in individual sessions; some will meet with each individually before beginning couples work; others have a strict policy not to see them at all in individual sessions if they are being seen as a couple. I used to do the former but learned the hard way the hazards of doing so when a wife started her individual session with the disclosure that she was having an affair followed immediately with the admonition that I was not to tell her husband. Unintentionally or not she had created an unholy alliance between her and me - never a good thing. In my opinion, Dr. Jenn did the same with Juan Pablo when she brought him in to essentially talk about Nikki behind her back. And I thought she was aligning herself with him when she said something like that he seemed to her to be very open in contrast to Nikki (can't recall how she described Nikki but it didn't seem as positive of a description as she had given JP). Earlier Nikki had been sharing her impression that JP seemed to think that she (Nikki) was the cause of all of their relationship difficulties. In my opinion, the way Dr Jenn handled the session with JP gave him reason to continue to believe that.

[Isabel123]

Episode 3 is basically Nikki and JPG show. I was able to get lots of screenshots and will post them tomorrow. I honestly don’t expect to like CT this much. My mind set was to watch JPG and Nikki scenes only but the other couples grows on me too.

You are all right, it’s kinda hard to watch Nikki in this kind of attitude. She’s acting like a child. Now I understand when she said that JPG is very patient with her. Despite not saying ILY verbally to Nikki (at this point), JPG’s action showed that he’s very much in love with Nikki. No man will put up with her kind of attitude (when she’s irritated and pissed off) when he does not care and love the woman.

Seeing them in CT makes me like them more as individuals and a couple. What I like is that I am seeing the real Nikki and JPG. Nikki is caring and passionate but she needs to be prudent in her actions. JPG is very amiable so no wonder he has lots of friends.

Looking forward to the coming episodes to see how their relationship progresses.

[chinita]

I haven't watched any episode yet as I'm still out of the country but I'm reading all the comments and it looks like everything is starting to make sense about JPG saying Nikki is his second daughter and Nikki thanking him for being so patient with her.

[Carolina2020]

We don't really know how  much complaining Nikki actually did about the cameras. We know what the editing is showing us. It has been made a focal point of contention for her. I would love to hear from people who have known Nik for a long time talk about her and who she is. She's been torn down by the media based on the editing of two "reality" tv shows that may or may not be presenting reality. She is an introvert. That doesn't mean that she is unfriendly or hard to get along with. It means that her energy comes from her alone time and one on one time with significant others and quiet times that's why she needs to have a place to go to, like their private quarters, to rejuvenate. She needs to be able to change clothes w/o "entertaining." She becomes exhausted and out of that, irritable. She is probably working hard to keep up with the most gregarious and outgoing bunch she has been around in while because they are all involved in entertainment except Chris and have much more experience than she does. In one spot she was trying to explain that where she comes things are very different. This transition and relearning is hard work. She's not being heard and as an introvert that hurts in a great way because it takes so much effort to speak out about herself personally. She wants to but it is difficult when she has to contend for the space to do it.  Bottom line whatever "acting out" that appears, Nikki is very hurt. Looking back at the scenes from the final rose it is evident but she sucked it up and for
lots of reasons. Another counselor commented on Dr. Jenn's twitter that Nikki appeared to have "settled" for "I like you alot" and who does that? And that is a great question. She also said she appeared not to feel significant as I recall. I hope this can all break open for Nikki and get the grief that is there really out but that's tuff for her. Juan on the other hand gets his energy from people and activity as an obvious extrovert. He gets defensive with anything that will try to take that from him and becomes contentious and condescending because he believes his way is the best when actually they are just different. He needs to respect Nikki's need for privacy and alone time and have his interviews elsewhere than their room. He will get what he needs from the attention of the interview and she will get the rejuvenating down time she needs to do the work of Couples Therapy. And, yes. I know she signed up for the show and she is letting reality show up. It took a lot more for her to come on this show than it did Juan. The cost is much greater to her. I hope that Nikki reaps the rewards of her efforts. Kudos to her for her courage and bravery. My two cents.

[Guest]

We don't really know how  much complaining Nikki actually did about the cameras. We know what the editing is showing us. It has been made a focal point of contention for her. I would love to hear from people who have known Nik for a long time talk about her and who she is. She's been torn down by the media based on the editing of two "reality" tv shows that may or may not be presenting reality. She is an introvert. That doesn't mean that she is unfriendly or hard to get along with. It means that her energy comes from her alone time and one on one time with significant others and quiet times that's why she needs to have a place to go to, like their private quarters, to rejuvenate. She needs to be able to change clothes w/o "entertaining." She becomes exhausted and out of that, irritable. She is probably working hard to keep up with the most gregarious and outgoing bunch she has been around in while because they are all involved in entertainment except Chris and have much more experience than she does. In one spot she was trying to explain that where she comes things are very different. This transition and relearning is hard work. She's not being heard and as an introvert that hurts in a great way because it takes so much effort to speak out about herself personally. She wants to but it is difficult when she has to contend for the space to do it.  Bottom line whatever "acting out" that appears, Nikki is very hurt. Looking back at the scenes from the final rose it is evident but she sucked it up and for
lots of reasons. Another counselor commented on Dr. Jenn's twitter that Nikki appeared to have "settled" for "I like you alot" and who does that? And that is a great question. She also said she appeared not to feel significant as I recall. I hope this can all break open for Nikki and get the grief that is there really out but that's tuff for her. Juan on the other hand gets his energy from people and activity as an obvious extrovert. He gets defensive with anything that will try to take that from him and becomes contentious and condescending because he believes his way is the best when actually they are just different. He needs to respect Nikki's need for privacy and alone time and have his interviews elsewhere than their room. He will get what he needs from the attention of the interview and she will get the rejuvenating down time she needs to do the work of Couples Therapy. And, yes. I know she signed up for the show and she is letting reality show up. It took a lot more for her to come on this show than it did Juan. The cost is much greater to her. I hope that Nikki reaps the rewards of her efforts. Kudos to her for her courage and bravery. My two cents.

I couldn't have articulated it better

[Nabsie]

Agree with the last two comments too. I also watched Evel Dicks recap of the last episode and it seems like he is really trying not to make a big deal about Nikki's complaining etc. We know they are close now so obviously he has a soft spot for her. He did say that Jenna complained and was way worse in the first few days than Nikki was, but they didn't show any of that really on the last episode and he wonders why. He also said in episodes to come we will see that the "scolding" Dr Jenn gave Nikki really got her out of that funk. Looking forward to seeing the changes in the next few weeks. Disappointed JP and Nikki could not make the recap show-would have been interesting to see their reactions to what was shown and maybe Nikki could have explained herself a little more. And Evel also said the editing plays a huge part in making something look more dramatic than it is-which is the case with Nikki. I know one of the reasons they went on CT was to show people JP is not the guy the media portrayed him to be, but now everyone is hating on Nikki. Can't please everyone!

[soccerm3m]

We don't really know how  much complaining Nikki actually did about the cameras. We know what the editing is showing us. It has been made a focal point of contention for her. I would love to hear from people who have known Nik for a long time talk about her and who she is. She's been torn down by the media based on the editing of two "reality" tv shows that may or may not be presenting reality. She is an introvert. That doesn't mean that she is unfriendly or hard to get along with. It means that her energy comes from her alone time and one on one time with significant others and quiet times that's why she needs to have a place to go to, like their private quarters, to rejuvenate. She needs to be able to change clothes w/o "entertaining." She becomes exhausted and out of that, irritable. She is probably working hard to keep up with the most gregarious and outgoing bunch she has been around in while because they are all involved in entertainment except Chris and have much more experience than she does. In one spot she was trying to explain that where she comes things are very different. This transition and relearning is hard work. She's not being heard and as an introvert that hurts in a great way because it takes so much effort to speak out about herself personally. She wants to but it is difficult when she has to contend for the space to do it.  Bottom line whatever "acting out" that appears, Nikki is very hurt. Looking back at the scenes from the final rose it is evident but she sucked it up and for
lots of reasons. Another counselor commented on Dr. Jenn's twitter that Nikki appeared to have "settled" for "I like you alot" and who does that? And that is a great question. She also said she appeared not to feel significant as I recall. I hope this can all break open for Nikki and get the grief that is there really out but that's tuff for her. Juan on the other hand gets his energy from people and activity as an obvious extrovert. He gets defensive with anything that will try to take that from him and becomes contentious and condescending because he believes his way is the best when actually they are just different. He needs to respect Nikki's need for privacy and alone time and have his interviews elsewhere than their room. He will get what he needs from the attention of the interview and she will get the rejuvenating down time she needs to do the work of Couples Therapy. And, yes. I know she signed up for the show and she is letting reality show up. It took a lot more for her to come on this show than it did Juan. The cost is much greater to her. I hope that Nikki reaps the rewards of her efforts. Kudos to her for her courage and bravery. My two cents.

Very well said. You made me think about things I ignore while watching the show.

[metalgirl]

. It took a lot more for her to come on this show than it did Juan. The cost is much greater to her. I hope that Nikki reaps the rewards of her efforts. Kudos to her for her courage and bravery. My two cents.

I absolutely agree with this. Opening herself up to even more public criticism isn't an easy decision. I don't think Juan Pablo struggles with the exposure the way Nikki does.

[soccerm3m]

Agree with the last two comments too. I also watched Evel Dicks recap of the last episode and it seems like he is really trying not to make a big deal about Nikki's complaining etc. We know they are close now so obviously he has a soft spot for her. He did say that Jenna complained and was way worse in the first few days than Nikki was, but they didn't show any of that really on the last episode and he wonders why. He also said in episodes to come we will see that the "scolding" Dr Jenn gave Nikki really got her out of that funk. Looking forward to seeing the changes in the next few weeks. Disappointed JP and Nikki could not make the recap show-would have been interesting to see their reactions to what was shown and maybe Nikki could have explained herself a little more. And Evel also said the editing plays a huge part in making something look more dramatic than it is-which is the case with Nikki. I know one of the reasons they went on CT was to show people JP is not the guy the media portrayed him to be, but now everyone is hating on Nikki. Can't please everyone!

I just watched Evel Dick's recap of episode 3. I also wish JP and/or Nikki would have been on to hear what they had to say about the episode. Evel also talked about Nikki's comment that she like the benefits of being a celebrity but not the public part. Evel mentioned that their trip to Bali was paid for by the resort where they stayed. He mentioned they flew first class too.

He and Chris did say Nikki did turn around after scolding from Dr. Jenn in that unscheduled group session but they indicated that she might have whined/complained about other things along the journey.

[Sponsored content]