Re: Andi Dorfman & Josh Murray - Fan Forum - Facebook - Twitter - IG's - Updates - Discussion Thread #4

[BohemianNika]

"Andi Dorfman ‏@AndiDorfman now  Is there a tournament going on or something? @kellytravisty #pgachampionship #FedExCup pic.twitter.com/QYcck9h9g5"

[Maggenzm]

I actually really like that he is going out with friends. I mean, why can't he leave his apartment to go and have a good time when Andi is not there? He doesn't and shouldn't be a person who just waits for his love to come home in his apartment alone with Sabel all day, that's wrong IMO. He is a person who happens to be in love with another person but in the end he is a person. He shouldn't spent his alone time alone and I'm so glad he is not doing that.
He, as all of us, should have independence. And more when you are in a relationship.

When I go out with my friends or for a trip without my boyfriend I tell him: "Go out and have fun! Don't stay in the apartment." And he does it and I love it.

In a relationship one of the most important things to have are love and trust.
If you don't trust that your other half is just going to have a good time (like you are having it) then why are you even with that person? Jealousy at the first stages of the relationship is completely normal because you are just getting to know the person but if you are dating someone for months and you still don't trust him then you should start questioning where your relationship is going.

Freedom is not something we should ever lose.

And I don't think it was a close call. At all. I don't think N was his mind and Josh his heart and that's why she said it was a battle between her heart and mind. I think that her mind was telling her: "This is too good to be true there most been something wrong here", "Why if Josh leaves like Brooks did? Then what?". And her heart always knew (as you can see in the episodes) that Josh was the love of his life.
N always was her second choice. Always.

It's your opinion and I respect it. I'm just giving mine.

Changing the subject. Man, Josh always looks so handsome!

I agree with your entire post.

Trust grows mostly when the couple is apart; thus, just as you are saying, it is essential to the health of the relationship that the couple have separate individual time.  And one of the primary reasons resentment begins to grow in a relationship is due to a person in the coupleship beginning to feel that s/he is losing his/her sense of self.  So conversely when both in the coupleship pursue individual interests, the relationship experiences continued growth and perhaps even more importantly the individuals can flourish.

I also agree that Andi's decision was not a close one organically (although I do believe that if she and Josh had fallen apart, she would have chosen Nick as I believe she clearly understood that her producer driven directive was to walk away engaged).  In addition to your points, I think that her prior stint on the show while it may have helped in some ways, may have exacerbated the mind games she was already playing with herself in that it taught her about the bachelor bubble.  As she admitted, she was very attracted to JP but quickly realized how that relationship would never have worked for her.  So I wonder if that added to her fear that her relationship and her feelings would suffer the same outcome.  (As an aside, I have noticed that a couple of times in the last few episodes Nick would say something to Nick when they were lips to lips and Andi would never respond back which made me wonder if this was something special she reserved for Josh and it certainly is something they - she and Josh - almost from the beginning.)

And I wholeheartedly concur with your last statement!

ITA with your post except for the bold. I don't think Andi would have chosen Nick if Josh and her fail apart, he was never in her heart, it was an infatuation, not love. I think, on one of the magazine, she said if there was no Josh, she would have left alone, and I believe her.

[Eagle Eye]

I also agree that Andi's decision was not a close one organically (although I do believe that if she and Josh had fallen apart, she would have chosen Nick as I believe she clearly understood that her producer driven directive was to walk away engaged).  In addition to your points, I think that her prior stint on the show while it may have helped in some ways, may have exacerbated the mind games she was already playing with herself in that it taught her about the bachelor bubble.  As she admitted, she was very attracted to JP but quickly realized how that relationship would never have worked for her.  So I wonder if that added to her fear that her relationship and her feelings would suffer the same outcome.  (As an aside, I have noticed that a couple of times in the last few episodes Nick would say something to Nick when they were lips to lips and Andi would never respond back which made me wonder if this was something special she reserved for Josh and it certainly is something they - she and Josh - almost from the beginning.)

ITA with your post except for the bold. I don't think Andi would have chosen Nick if Josh and her fail apart, he was never in her heart, it was an infatuation, not love. I think, on one of the magazine, she said if there was no Josh, she would have left alone, and I believe her.

I have to agree with Doc on this one. I know this is totally splitting hairs but what Andi actually said is that she honestly believes she wouldn't be engaged right now, had Josh not been there. Meaning that she would have picked the other guy and gotten engaged -- because that's what the show requires -- but they would have promptly self-destructed and broken up because they were a horrible real-world match. I don't believe she was ever seriously considering a future with her F2 -- she found him interesting and intelligent but I feel like he was mostly just a curiosity to her, kind of a science project, because he was unlike anyone she'd ever dated and so completely NOT her type. She was intrigued by him because he was different, and her insecurities were telling her that Josh was risky and maybe she should go in a different direction this time, but I don't think she ever actually pictured a life with F2. As she said, her heart was with Josh from the moment he stepped out of the limo, and it just took her head a little longer to finally figure it out.

[Maggenzm]

Just have to put my two cents in regarding Josh out last night.  It's clear that he was out with his friends and why not?  As it's been said, Andi goes out with Kelly.  There is not a doubt in my mind that Josh is 100% dedicated to Andi and she does not have a single thing to worry about with Josh.

The problem is that when Josh goes out, of course, girls want a pic with him.  But when Andi goes out there isn't any pics with guys because most guys just don't do that stuff.

Being able to hang out with your friends is very good for a relationship I think.  As long as it isn't all the time and as long as you trust each other.

That is the number one reason why my husband and I have lasted 38 years.  When we were younger he went on golf weekends with his guy friends and I would go on girls weekends.  He never said anything except, have a good time, sweetheart and do you need some cash.

My husband was a very good looking guy and if I spent all my time worrying about him when he wasn't with me I'd have put myself in an early grave.  My husband never gave me a second of worry.  As a matter of fact, he still calls me from work on his lunch hour every day.  Not to check up on me but just to see how my day is going.

I would not have lasted a month with a guy that smothered me.   So I think it's very healthy for a relationship that they have some outside interests and time with friends.

I think this weekend with Andi away shows Josh how much he misses her as when Josh was away on his business trip and Andi missed him so much.

Sorry to go into my marriage but was just trying to make a point.

Laura

My thought on this is that because of the venue that Josh goes to hangout with....BARS.  I just don't understand why of all places, he goes there without Andi.   Bars are the place where singles goes to mingle, more especially with young adults and college students to have a drink, good time or get lucky that night.  So, of course Josh will be flocked by girls.  Pardon me but, when I was single, I haven't been to a bar alone or with my friends.  We hangout in a public place but not in a bar.......maybe, because I grow up in another country. Since my husband and I have been married, never once went to a bar per se, except in the restaurant's bar waiting for our table to eat.

I have no problem with Josh going out when Andi is away.....but, I wish Josh will be more discreet with the places that he goes to and the time of the night.  I think he was in the bar past midnight.  Now, I'm not saying that Josh ought to have a curfew.....it just that time & place where he was at last night is not desirable for an engaged person.

With Andi, in my observation via pics & SM.....she's very discreet and handle herself very well so as not to arouse talks that is not favorable with her actions going out minus Josh.

Regarding their finances, I don't have any qualms whatsoever.  I'm just concerned with their actions post show and their relationship.  It's because I want Josh and Andi to live happily ever after.

Rina, I see your point, bcs where I am from, going to a bar has a negative ca notation (sexual) to most, but in America, a bar is a place to hang out, drink some beer, dance, especially the sports bars, many people gather to watch their favorite sports. So, no need to be concern for Andi and Josh, they use to going to bars. I remember Josh said AFRC at Jimmy Kemel that he saw Andi at a bar before filming, but he wasn't supposed to talk to her. So, this is usual for Josh and Andi, no surprise here. My question to you is, what would Josh do in a bar that he couldn't do anywhere else? These two are so in tune with one another, no need to worry.

[Judiful]

I actually really like that he is going out with friends. I mean, why can't he leave his apartment to go and have a good time when Andi is not there? He doesn't and shouldn't be a person who just waits for his love to come home in his apartment alone with Sabel all day, that's wrong IMO. He is a person who happens to be in love with another person but in the end he is a person. He shouldn't spent his alone time alone and I'm so glad he is not doing that.
He, as all of us, should have independence. And more when you are in a relationship.

When I go out with my friends or for a trip without my boyfriend I tell him: "Go out and have fun! Don't stay in the apartment." And he does it and I love it.

In a relationship one of the most important things to have are love and trust.
If you don't trust that your other half is just going to have a good time (like you are having it) then why are you even with that person? Jealousy at the first stages of the relationship is completely normal because you are just getting to know the person but if you are dating someone for months and you still don't trust him then you should start questioning where your relationship is going.

Freedom is not something we should ever lose.

And I don't think it was a close call. At all. I don't think N was his mind and Josh his heart and that's why she said it was a battle between her heart and mind. I think that her mind was telling her: "This is too good to be true there most been something wrong here", "Why if Josh leaves like Brooks did? Then what?". And her heart always knew (as you can see in the episodes) that Josh was the love of his life.
N always was her second choice. Always.

It's your opinion and I respect it. I'm just giving mine.

Changing the subject. Man, Josh always looks so handsome!

I agree with your entire post.

Trust grows mostly when the couple is apart; thus, just as you are saying, it is essential to the health of the relationship that the couple have separate individual time.  And one of the primary reasons resentment begins to grow in a relationship is due to a person in the coupleship beginning to feel that s/he is losing his/her sense of self.  So conversely when both in the coupleship pursue individual interests, the relationship experiences continued growth and perhaps even more importantly the individuals can flourish.

I also agree that Andi's decision was not a close one organically (although I do believe that if she and Josh had fallen apart, she would have chosen Nick as I believe she clearly understood that her producer driven directive was to walk away engaged).  In addition to your points, I think that her prior stint on the show while it may have helped in some ways, may have exacerbated the mind games she was already playing with herself in that it taught her about the bachelor bubble.  As she admitted, she was very attracted to JP but quickly realized how that relationship would never have worked for her.  So I wonder if that added to her fear that her relationship and her feelings would suffer the same outcome.  (As an aside, I have noticed that a couple of times in the last few episodes Nick would say something to Nick when they were lips to lips and Andi would never respond back which made me wonder if this was something special she reserved for Josh and it certainly is something they - she and Josh - almost from the beginning.)

And I wholeheartedly concur with your last statement!

ITA with your post except for the bold. I don't think Andi would have chosen Nick if Josh and her fail apart, he was never in her heart, it was an infatuation, not love. I think, on one of the magazine, she said if there was no Josh, she would have left alone, and I believe her.

I agree...I don't think there's any way Andi would have settled for Nick if Josh had left ..She cried harder saying goodbye to Chris S. and even Cody than she did saying goodbye to him...I also think she's strong enough to have never followed producer directive with her final choice...I can't imagine in a million years her doing that ..she's way smarter than that. I love her happy ending.. She has a great fiance..I believe Josh understood the nature of the show and the possibilities that could occur with somebody else..He has proven he loves her unconditionally ..As far as I'm concerned, their actual relationship began when she said yes and he slipped that gorgeous ring on her finger. She's a very lucky lady..Her fiance as well as her family and friends never judge her ...while strangers do !! I've always liked Andi a lot ...she's awesome..

[Georgia Lindsay]

I love that Josh and Andi do things with Kelly and her b/f Hunter. Looks like Hunter and Josh get along just fine too. Best of both worlds. Must say Josh is looking extra hot and sexy today, and Andi looks terrifc!

Now my hope is that everyone please realize that Josh and Andi are happy and the real deal, and stop worrying and over analyzing every little thing, until facts are known? Thanks. :Nod:

[Laura Walsh]

Here I go again with my two cents.

IMHO the girl who had her picture taken with Andi and Josh and then wrote that
hasthag about giving Josh her number. (Of course, she was joking.) But Josh and
Andi take the time to have a picture taken with her and the thanks Josh and Andi
get for doing this for her is for her to write this stupid hashtag.

I think it is completely disrespectful to Andi and Josh kidding or not.

[Guest]

I totally agree with you guys, and think you have a very  mature perspective on trust. I think I projected my marriage onto theirs and well my husband although an ex-athlete has a totally different personality than Josh. For him to go out to a bar is out of character, he did a little in college but says they are just meat markets and doesn't like them. I totally trust him and love when he goes out with friends, but he's the type that goes hiking with his friends or to the movies and well he's easy.


But Josh is  a totally different person and for him to go to bars makes sense,  he's from Tampa and its a very natural part of life there. He's passionate about football, wants to hang with the guys, probably likes the attention from fans.


And I shouldn't have mentioned N. because in the end Andi chose Josh and that's all that matters. No turning back. If she's going to be with Josh she has to trust him period. You know if a guy wants to cheat, he can be good looking or ugly, have a hundred girls following him or none, rich or poor, he'll do it. It's not in any woman's control. Only her integrity is in her control. If something happens and he's not who she thought well then things change and she'll deal with it then and start another chapter. But if he hasn't and he is committed,  then why worry about it, better to have fun, stay busy and live your life happily. And by the pics this is exactly what she's doing.

[Guest]

yeah your right Laura,some girls are just tacky

[Laura Walsh]

I thought my husband told me that no one is permitted on the golf course if they are not playing. If this is so then how come Andi and Kelly are on the golf course and not golfing?

Can someone enlighten me? Just curious.

[luvlady345]

For me it's not like Josh is not use to getting the attention of adoring female fans, hello Josh was an ex pro ball player, he played football at UGA and all those football players have women hanging over an around them all the time and the extra bonus Josh was always HOT...  So I don't think it so much he enjoys the attention of fans, I just think he is use to dealing with them and has come to appreciate them and knows it comes with the territory due to his sports days..

[Maggenzm]

Here I go again with my two cents.  

IMHO the girl who had her picture taken with Andi and Josh and then wrote that
hasthag about giving Josh her number.  (Of course, she was joking.)  But Josh and
Andi take the time to have a picture taken with her and the thanks Josh and Andi
get for doing this for her is for her to write this stupid hashtag.

I think it is completely disrespectful to Andi and Josh kidding or not.

I found it very funny! It is called sarcasm, and I think Andi will find it very funny too, bcs she is very sarcastic herself. JMO

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