BACHELOR 19 - CHRIS SOULES -**NO SPOILERS* - *SLEUTHING* - DISCUSSION

Episode 1 - The CliffsNotes Edition

(I watched it twice so you don't have to.)

First Hour: the padded Red Carpet entrances of the Fleiss Family, all here to greet members of Bachelor Nation

That is... featuring those host Harrison wants to interview, not that we learn anything enlightening. I was disappointed that he didn't ask who designed their gowns and tuxes. *Sigh*... life will never be the same since Joan Rivers passed away.
-I forget... was this shot at the Pantages Theater? Not so sure they will get the same ratings as Oscar night.
-"Look At Me!" Chris Bukowski, Brooks, Courtney, Sharleen, Erica and anybody else whom Harrison refuses to interview grin for the cameras since they absolutely must... be... on... TV... again. Also peekaboo shots of others like Graham in his pink shirt. It humors me how at every gathering Clare Bear attends to... and she is shown bouncing Deanna's baby in the air, Zack Kalter is always lurking around near by with that lost look of his.
-Sean and Catherine making the usual chit-chat. She giggles and he raises his voice (as Harrison stands back) for his next lecture on "how to be a Bachelor" for Soules' sake. Book your 2016 calender for possible Lowe babies "popping out".
-Marcus and Lacy say they are planning to get hitched this summer. Huh? You mean they didn't already last summer?
-Both Andi and Josh, sporting eyebrows on loan from Tierra LiCausi, talking so fast that they almost turned blue. I used to worry mostly about motormouth Josh, but Andi now sounds like Walter Winchell.
-Not-invited Juan gets trashed again... and again... and again. Mister Harrison reminds us how un-loved he is (or should be by Bachelor Nation if they wish to keep residing in it) and asks his latest "victim" Nikki to explain "what happened" for those who skipped Couples Therapy (which, of course, edited him in a much more favorable light). She is semi-defending him in this loooooong interview so that the Bachelor In Paradise gates will be open to her if she has nothing to do this spring. Later in this episode... Juan gets "referenced" unfavorably AGAIN by one of the ladies during Chris' cocktail time.
-No shots of Desie and Prince Siegfrield, but Harrison reminds us that they are hitching in "a few weeks".

Let's Meet Chris Soules both in Iowa and in sunny LA (shown in two segments a half hour apart)

-Watch Chris on his Harley. He does share Dennis Hopper's nose... I'll give him that.
-More of the farm life and shoveling hay and hearing him say how much he loves his job.
-See Chris look lonely outside a run-down building in the great metropolis he lives in. (I doubt the town is as small as the one Bonnie and Clyde met up in.)
-See Chris go fishing with pop as if he's Ron Howard's Opie with Andy Griffith. Later on, we see him at the local Mayberry joint listening to residents who may or may not have been castmembers of that show, now long since retired from show business.
-See Chris get trained by Cody... and shirtless Cody rise up in a corn field like a phantom, prompting a genuine laugh out of Soules. Too bad he didn't repeat the stunt over at the mansion to spook the ladies.
-He tells TV viewers it is not too late to change our mind if we do not want a farmer Bachelor. It isn't OUR decision! Oh... and he is also confident that he WILL find his wife.
-In segment two, Chris must "adjust" to sunny LA with "more people in one quarter mile" than the whole county he lives in (minus the number of hogs, crickets, State Bird goldfinches, red-winged blackbirds, meadow voles, fireflies and thirteen-lined ground squirrels).
-He still has his Harley but is "out of this world" here... and somebody should remind him that traffic in California is different than Iowa. He drives through the tunnels like astronaut Keir Dullea experiencing his psychedelic "trip" in 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY.
-He is happy to be residing "a stone throw" from where some "wild women" are residing. *chuckle chuckle* Doesn't sound like he wants a "settled" house-frau.
-Watch Chris get a quickie outdoor shower so we can ever-so-briefly determine if Cody did his job turning him into the next Sean.

Throughout, Mister Harrison sings his praises of Mister Soules with the live audience. Most amusing is the segment later (shown mid-way during the cocktail scenes) when his Iowa friends and cheerleading squad comment on his sincerity and (although they don't use these words necessarily) "all eggs in one basket" commitment to finding a wife. What is most peculiar here are the two close-up shots of Clare Bear looking down disappointed that she can't have him. (This reminds me of how they kept gawking at each other on Andi's ATFR show with Mister Harrison constantly standing between them.)

Let's kinda Get-To-Know the ladies auditioning for Next Bachelorette... oops! I mean Chris' affections...

1.) Britt is strictly a Hollywood gal enjoying the sunny weather and in desperate need of a hug. No sex with her last boyfriend, but she insists she loves to "touch". Jimmy Kimmel cracks late at night that he's met many waitresses in Hollywood, but has yet to meet her.
2.) Jillian is a newscaster who frolics with the local politicians... I mean men-folk... in DC public parks, making you wonder how she can remember that Soules is the only man to stay focused on here. She also lifts weights.
3.) Amanda practices ballet and is proud to be a lousy cook. This hints that, at some point on this show, we will learn that Chris is not expecting his dream gal to be JUST a "home-maker". He has a microwave oven too.
4.) Whitney (a.k.a. the "Are we ready to make a baby?" fertility nurse) calls Chris "America's Prince" (not hers apparently) and says her little white pooch loves the taste of corn.
5.) McKenzie is a "mom" (gotta have one each season) with a cute troll named Kayle/Cayle/Kail... oops! I mean Kale. Kimmel did a spoof video of her intro in which the kid is digitally replaced by a cartoon cabbage with eyes. (She does wear a lot of green out of the limo too.)
6.) Alissa the airline hostess wants you to keep flying the friendly skies, by handing out roses to passengers who don't want them. She chirps "when you're up, you're up and you feel amazing" so if Cialis doesn't work, she has other methods at her disposal.
7.) Kelsey Poe, the "poe" widow, gets the sad-sad music we've come to expect with the "final and most important" bio intro each Bachelor season. You know... like Clare Bear's last year including her Deceased Daddy's DeeVeeDee... as well as AshLee the orphan waif who thinks she's as unfortunate as Oliver Twist... and Ben's Nikki opening up her wedding album after her divorce, but gathering the strength to ride the Fort Worth longhorn bull again. All of these include a shot of the lady gazing into space, followed by "how this guy will help me move on". Juan worked wonders with Clare Bear "moving on" with all of his in and out of the water "let's not kiss" therapy, in addition to being her punching bag at FRC. Hopefully Chris can succeed equally well with Kelsey.

The Ladies "in depth", arranged by the way they arrived on screen.

1.) Britt... gets a loooooong hug out of the limo
... says in her sitdown with him "you can feel safe with me" (kinda like the way Andi talked to Juan on their first meeting... *cough cough*)
... and he responds in a PI session that she "speaks to my heart"
... and gives her the First Impression rose
... and some heavy kissing in front of the open fire, a first in a long while for this show (since the Bachelors are usually too paranoid to do so on night 1). Chris definitely feels "safe" with Britt.
... and she also gets Harrison's promotion in front of a live audience. Is she F1 or is she the Next Bachelorette? Or simply another contestant on BiP? Your guess is as good as mine. At least she is "local" talent residing in LA if they are operating on a fixed budget this spring. Intriguingly, she is spotlit when Soules says "love can happen in this setting" (a.k.a. this mansion). Also, after giving her the FI rose, he comments (as if giving his approval if she takes on a future lead role) "if it isn't me, then she deserves somebody incredible".
... Michelle Money in the live audience reacting to all of Harrison's promotion of Britt: "I heard a rumor. She doesn't shower"... LOL!
2.) Whitney... edited as second out of the limos... just as Chris was edited second out in Andi's season. (Will this be lucky for her chances, since Josh and Andi were in the same "last out of the limos" positions in their respective seasons?)
... gets him to high-pitch giggle quite a bit (as does Kaitlyn later) and is the first getting a "wow" (but won't be the last)
... humorously, no less than three "coming up" previews of the rose ceremony show her mumbling "oh my gawd" as if that means something important
... gets an extensive sit-down scene with plenty of her "I'm glad it was you" talk and her work as a fertility nurse that... obviously.. leads to the question of whether or not he has "inseminated" hogs. Now... this isn't the first time that this show has tread into this territory since Meredith's Lanny worked with thoroughbred horses in Texas.
... otherwise, she just wants to "stare at his beauty"... and make babies.
... he responds in PI that he's "excited by her" and, if the other gals are like her, he's in trouble
3.) Kelsey is the next getting Soules' "wow" reaction
... has a prominent sit-down with him but I completely forgot what was discussed
4.) Megan... first called a "blondie" even though Whitney's hair is just as light. He also gives his first "oh my gawd".
... Megan gets kudos for interrupting blonde Ashley's time with Chris (just as she had Brittany's) and her silly bucketlist inclusion of "running through a field of sunflowers"
5.) Ashley L. (brunette Ashley) gives another trademark "I'm glad it is you" line
... later, this gal flaunts a mean critical steak. When Nicole shows up later with a pig's snout, she says that girl should have done some research: Chris has no pigs on his farm. Is that so, Ashley? They sure fooled us last season in his own bio intro.
6.) Trina is first out of the limo Chris comes over to window-tap
7.) Reegan brings her ice-cooler stocked with booze... I mean... a bloody severed heart. Eek!
... of course, they discuss the joke in their sitdown
8.) Yee Haw! Tara in her daisy dukes
... and arriving a second time in a black cocktail dress. Her back is bare so you can see the FDA circle stamp on right side.
... She, of course, is the drunkie of the show, but he keeps her for another round after seeking Mister Harrison's guidance during the rose ceremony. Since Chris had a few bends-around-the-bend in his past, he must show "All of America" that he is willing to give her a second chance despite the other ladies' scorn.
9.) Amber in her teddy... I mean... with her teddy
10.) Nikki, whom we see so little of because the editors instead focus on Tara changing from her daisy dukes into a black evening gown.
11.) The Letter... and The Secret Admirer Amanda. Chris thinks they are playing "ghosts in the graveyard" and is still not sure when he can open his eyes.
... He seeks her out for a sitdown and the cameraman becomes obsessed with her "google eyes" (those are HER words, not mine)
12.) Jillian's first line out is "working out?" Let's hope there is more in common between them than Cody.
... humorously, when  the other limos arrive after the first 15 enjoy Chris all to themselves, the new blood is referred to as "The Others" as if they are emerging from alien "pods".
13.) MacKenzie doesn't mention she's a mom yet, but she is looking greener than Chris' farm
... the cute sitdown involves a little watercolor sketching and some "organic" talk about farm life, not that she has a clue about his occupation
14.) Blonde Ashley inserts a lucky penny into his "soule". Her voice and looks remind me a lot of Trista Renn Sutter.
... later, however, this sweet looking lady goes off the deep end and morphs into quite the dragon-lady. Her spectacles are a "teaser" to Tara's drunken spell as she compares the other ladies to "onions", subject to be peeled away. She is also among several "interupters" (in this case, Brittany)
... It is hard to determine if she really did find a pomegranate in the mansion garden (given that she was observing it under the light of a full moon), but she isn't any more farm oriented than MacKenzie despite what she thinks.
... during the rose ceremony (in which she's the last called), she comments on ladies in general... with Whitney, she slams: "you're not right for him. You don't even know him!"
15.) Kaitlyn in her flaming red says he can &^%$ in her field any day and Chris lets out the loudest giggle so far. (Later he PIs that he doesn't know what it means.)
... the promos love showcasing her line of "bring on the weirdos"
... best line FROM him comes after he greets them inside and Kaitlyn asks if she should tell a joke. "I'll talk first and you can tell the joke afterward." Ooooh boy.
... Actually the joke was rather cute. Why did the walrus attend the tupperware party? Because he needed a tight seal. Unfortunately most of these ladies were born in the 1980s or after, so they probably don't know what a tupperware party is. As Megan puts it "something's not clicking up there" as she points to her own cranium.
... Prepare for some battles here, since Chris labeled Kaitlyn a "firecracker" after their sit-down (shown much later in the show than it probably happened in "real" time). However, she has MANY qualities he is seeking in a future wife. (Then again, he also wishes he was a polygamist, so she is probably one of several in his mind.) Best way to describe Kaitlyn is as a Lady Shere Kahn and as that famous line in MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING goes (regarding the ideal house-frau)... "we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom".
... at least she attempts to get him to break-dance.
... along with Whitney and both Ashleys, she is among the most nit-picky of the ladies with something to say about everybody.

Pause Time after the first 15 arrivals... and for Mister Harrison to slap him across the face. The ladies above each have their sit-downs with Chris (in the following order: Britt / Frozen Heart Girl / Kelsey / Whitney / Little Rock-Heart Girl / Secret Admirer Amanda) and speculate for the camera crew whether or not they are the ONLY ladies on the show. Of course, you know Fleiss & Company won't give them what they want. When Mister Harrison escorts Mister Soules away, the next limo arrives and the popcorn gallery all gathers around the mansion windows to give their commentaries on the next arrivals.

16.) Samantha arrives as the "drop dead gorgeous" brunette in white. Too bad she doesn't do a whole lot on screen this first episode.
17.) Michelle... another in red-pink... and, like most arriving in this second half, we do not hear any of the introduction speech. Instead, the ladies observing from the windows are giving us the commentary.
18.) Juelia in her silver
19.) Becca is especially interesting... and mysterious. We are informed by the popcorn gallery that he is "looking her over from head to toe".
... She gets a ton of commentary by others, but hardly speaks on screen herself, unless responding to others in conversation or joining the Greek Chorus detailing Tara's drunk fest.
... Whitney seems particularly bothered by her because she is personally "nervous about all of the beautiful women here" and obviously senses Chris is smitten by her appearance. This is despite the fact that we don't see them together at all in this episode past the limo arrival and have no clue of what they talked about or did when together.
... last season, Chris and Andi discussed with the older couple in Santa Anita that "sometimes you just kinda know". During the ceremony, Chris fusses about making the mistake of sending somebody home that he should keep, but over footage of Becca, he says "some people you kinda know". This clearly works in her favor as a frontrunner. He also says over Becca, either positively or negatively (depending how you interpret such baffling lines): "I want to make sure I get this as right a possible".
20.) Motorcycle babe Tandra who aims to make good use of Chris' Harley
21.) Alissa fastens a seatbelt over Chris! Of course, she had already implanted curious thoughts in my head during her earlier airline promo that I had better keep my trap shut about her.
22.) Jordan sports the whiskey as a way to get through his heart.
23.) Nicole arrives in her pig snout ("hamming it up"), which prompts Kaitlyn's oink oink and a lot more commentary from brunette Ashley.
... Inside the mansion (minus the snout), she asks him if he will remember all of their names.
24.) Brittany and her short-short skirt hides behind her big billboard like Sally Rand, the famous stripper.
25.) Carly is dressed like Barbie minus the poodle on her skirt and sings a recording. Awww... I bet he could do a duet with her and he will sound just like Kenny Rogers, since their voices are much the same.

... after much commentary from the popcorn gallery that 25 is enough so let us all party, we get one... more... limo...

26.) Tracy is, ugh, another letter writer and indistinguishable from the rest in her bloomin' red
27.) Bo has... well... she has... she has... assets. That's right. She is truly blessed.
... also in her sitdown her mouth was watering for some sirloin meat. Again... time to shut my trap.
28.) Kimberly the yoga instructor is, of course, the one who ends our show in a moment of "to be continued" suspense. After getting rejected at the rose ceremony, she comes back into the mansion with a "can I speak to you?" line with Chris. Already the editors give us a hint as to what may happen next: she will likely fuss about him choosing others she considers less worthy of him than her. This is why a key zoom-shot of her occurred earlier as Chris stated "I am hoping to find my wife out of all of this", meaning that he is serious even if she doesn't think he is.
29.) Kara in her blue and silver adds more cute babies talk to compare and contrast with Whitney.
30.) Jade is last but not least and obviously a key "player" this season, shown quite a bit in the promos.
... like Becca, she doesn't do a whole lot this first episode.
... one interesting tidbit: during her sitdown with Chris, we get the exact same light guitar music Chris received when sitting with Andi on her opening night.

Additional odds and ends...

Best line from Mister Harrison to Mister Soules: "You didn't think there would be 15 Bachelorettes for YOU?" as if Mister Harrison himself is entitled to some of the harem.

The Theme Color of this season is red. Many gals worry about wolves in granny's bed so they dressed accordingly. Did you know life jackets are supposed to be red?

This guy uses the word "wife" more times than Andi ever used the word "husband" (and usually she said this over shots of Chris himself... and we know THAT wasn't to be). Nonetheless, I have noticed "about" two ladies (but I'll let others study the show more carefully) who get the W-word more often than anybody else.

My mind is blank. Which of the ladies in red was Cat Lady? (PS: Sophienette reminded me this is Tracy. I guess Soules' cat collection on the farm is somehow significant since Emily Maynard made lots of kitty videos, prompting Mister Harrison to inform her "you need a man!")

Rose Call Out Order (after Britt gets the FI rose)

Kaitlyn, Jade, Samantha, brunette Ashley, Tandra, Nikki, Kelsey, Megan, Alissa, Amber, Juelia, Becca, Trina, McKenzie, Tracy, Tara (after a looooooong talk with Mister Harrison), Jordan, Jillian, Whitney, Carly, blonde Ashley

Litta123 wrote:Fiji, I will be as vague about this as I can. JK wasn't making predictions about who Chris picked, but he did hold up a few pictures and asked Chris a question or two about each of those girls. For example, JK asked if a certain girl was crazy or not. Chris answered, "crazy." JK responded, "Well, we know you didn't pick her." Truthfully, I can't even recall that girl's name because I had already dismissed her as a MOT girl.

JK also asked a question about someone who is in the mix to be one of the our final girls. Chris gave an answer that may or may not be revealing. It would be our interpretation. I had actually forgotten about it once I got going on the caps...until we started talking here about his appearance on JK.

How do we define sleuthing? Information we gather on our own? To me it's not a spoiler because it's my interpretation of Chris's answer....I have no idea if I'm right. I'll let others respond before I say anymore.

Litta123 wrote:Fiji, I will be as vague about this as I can. JK wasn't making predictions about who Chris picked, but he did hold up a few pictures and asked Chris a question or two about each of those girls. For example, JK asked if a certain girl was crazy or not. Chris answered, "crazy." JK responded, "Well, we know you didn't pick her." Truthfully, I can't even recall that girl's name because I had already dismissed her as a MOT girl.

JK also asked a question about someone who is in the mix to be one of the our final girls. Chris gave an answer that may or may not be revealing. It would be our interpretation. I had actually forgotten about it once I got going on the caps...until we started talking here about his appearance on JK.

How do we define sleuthing? Information we gather on our own? To me it's not a spoiler because it's my interpretation of Chris's answer....I have no idea if I'm right. I'll let others respond before I say anymore.

If he meant that on the first night, they didn't talk about her job in depth, because he was enamored and just wanted to kiss her, then that might be what he meant.

Litta123 wrote:^^Well then, since I saw the JK episode, I will report on what I remember regarding Britt.

****SKIP THIS POST IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW****

Britt is a waitress in LA. JK asked Chris what restaurant she waitressed at. IIRC, Chris said he didn't know. JK asked incredulously, "How could you not know?" or something to that effect. Chris said something like, "We never got to that." JK joked that Chris obviously didn't pick her.

Now do with that as you will. Could Britt be in the F3 and Chris not know something like that? Maybe, but it really doesn't make sense that she would be F1 and Chris not know. I'm inclined to even say it makes her less likely to be the girl on the bridge. I'd think something like that would be discussed as they are trying to figure out a life together in the FS. It's possible that Chris did ask her, but forgot...and chose to say he didn't know. IMO, however, Chris not being able to name the restaurant is more significant than not. My assessment of Chris is that he doesn't lie very well. Was he one of the guys who didn't lie on the lie detector test? I vaguely remember he was. Hmm, I guess I didn't sleep through all of his parts on Andi's season after all.

GuardianAngel wrote:You are all doing a great job.

fiji -
this is a very good point, I had not thought of that. I believe they are coached to answer questions related to that epi only, maybe someone knows better than me, but that does make sense that during epi one he may have not known where she works. Or he wasn't prepared for the questions and when asked where she works didn't want to divulge the restaurants name, which sent him into a little fib. He could have said, he didn't want to say where she works. It was a strange response.

If he meant that on the first night, they didn't talk about her job in depth, because he was enamored and just wanted to kiss her, then that might be what he meant.