Re: Nick Viall Bachelorette 10 - Fan Forum - Updates - Discussion - Thread #11

[MiaHawk]

I wonder what he did with the storybook..

Maybe Andi and Kelly cooked smores over its burning pages? Sounds like something they might do.

[Brill]

I wonder what he did with the storybook..

Maybe Andi and Kelly cooked smores over its burning pages? Sounds like something they might do.

These 2 were meant for each other, it makes me wonder what Sharleen thinks about some of the crap they spew?   

[Litta123]

I can't speak for Sharleen now (or ever, obviously), but Sharleen was quite broken up when Kelly was sent home by JPG. I recall in Sharleen's PI that she said of Kelly that they'd be friends for life. Now that could be one of those "in the moments" statements that she may have since revised. That said, Kelly had the mean girl thing going on during the time she and Sharleen became friends.

Regardless, I think Sharleen and Nick would make a fascinating couple.

[nutty1]

Found a T-shirt for Nick!

[stuckinsc]

Found a T-shirt for Nick!

Love it!

[happygolucky]

Hi Heaven girls ...
so I know often on this forum I talk about myself, identify or empathize with some contestant from the show ...and the reason is ... that I can't really say what they think or what motivated them for doing something, but I speak of what would probably play in my mind being in their situation, having similar traits and come from similar "background" or when shared similar opinion on certain issues. So I can only offer my view ... and maybe ... maybe there is some resemblance.

Also I try to live by the rule of "treat others the way I want to be treated" (I know, I know, I'm so repetitive it's annoying) ... so since I don't like being told what I can or should do and it annoys me beyond imaginable, when people "preach" of right or wrong and then act opposite to their preaching, I very much believe it's not my place to tell anyone how they should live or what they should do either. (and when I forget my own "preaching", that's when it kicks me in the a**)

I also go by my "rule" that there is no "right or wrong" ... it's just "good and bad" and we all know the difference. We don't need to be religious and cite holy books (meant with no offense) to know what is GOOD and what is BAD. But sometimes good things happen out of "wrong" situations and bad things happen despite "right" intentions.
What is wrong today might be right tomorrow (and vice versa), what is wrong for someone, might be right for someone else, depends on the moment, environment, culture, people ... to many variables that can change one word or one action's meaning of 'right&wrong'.
But there is no denying what is good and what is bad... deep inside we know it. No matter what religion or faith you follow ... you know that: to ignore, to hate, to hold grudges, to disrespect, to hurt anybody, to shame, to kill, to betray, to lie, to steal, to envy IS BAD.
And it might even not be wrong ... but there is no excuses that it is a bad thing to do.
(and no, I do believe killing is wrong no matter what, but that's my personal belief, since I don't believe that a death sentence is a fair act of justice either)
(to give most vicious example) Holocaust didn't happen because people didn't do the right thing, it happened because people did bad things.
After something bad happens, there can only follow an explanation 'of why' and sincere apology, but there is no shortcut out of guilt or sense of conscience and if we are "lucky/blessed" we are forgiven.

So, I can't judge anyone whether their actions are right or wrong ... but I state my opinion when I believe something bad happened and I voice my admiration and excitement when something good appears.

The other rule that I believe in is that you have to put yourself first. And that's one shocker... because people would say that's egoistical and selfish. But in my short life one lesson I've learned painfully on my skin is that if you care for your life above anything (and I wrote anything not anyone), you will care for life of people around you too. I know this may sound a bit contrived, but I've learned over years, that people who don't value own life and don't put it first on the scale of a priority, tend to not give as much to others either. Or to explain better, they don't share as much positivity and love around, because over time they don't feel satisfied and happy and often would feel under-appreciated, wronged, suffering injustice and being ignored, because they believe to be putting themselves out there for everyone else, do everything for others before thinking of themselves and they think by doing that they are selfless and caring ... well, one lesson learned, I know I can't give much to anyone if I don't have much of myself. If I don't feed my body and soul, I can't give to anyone else around me anything more of my energy if there is nothing there to begin with. So no, I don't think having confidence in yourself and your abilities and your act is being arrogant, as long as you give that positive energy out to create a better world, as long you respect other people's lives as much as yours and value those around you by treating them with love and care the same as you do for yourself.

This of course has little to do with the discussion in this thread... but it has something to do with my story, that may give you another perspective on the topic of our "heaven".

Some time ago I had my dark period, meaning doomy days, maybe it could be explained as depressive part of cycle of my life and I was dissatisfied with myself, my image (seeing myself as the most dull person in the world), my achievements (well, in those days I didn't see them as such at all), my body (does that ever change?), my intelligence (meaning, I was questioning how more stupid can I get), my life (looked boring, so why would anyone be interested in?)... so in that kind of moment, I tend to shut everyone out of my life. I disappear, I don't talk to anyone, I don't call or answer phone 'cause why would I bother others with my silly non-sense problems, and since I don't go out as much there's nothing excitingly new to talk about in the first place. So I stay in silence.
But in that period I also lived in a very extroverted environment and I was surrounded with people that I believed were more positive and I was drawn to them because I felt they had more energy I can "feed off" to get myself out of my doom.
One person in particular was this girl (I will call her a girl, since she is many years younger than me) that I've met during my last stint at the university. She was an undergrad in Psychology and since we befriended there was no hiding from her that I had some difficulty how to deal with my life, get over some abandonment issues, healing my heartbreak and go out again and enjoy it all. So she became my rock.
She would be annoying as hell sometimes, she would love to over-exaggerate with her life-stories (I thought, that's just because of her young age, so it was amusing to listen) and she would dismiss all my "problems" by talking about other "more important stuff" (important to her) ... but I adored her because of that, she didn't let me sit in my corner, dwell on my mistakes, she challenged me be more daring and she made me stop over-thinking it by throwing me into the lion's den. I actually appreciated her, because it grounded me, stopped me from being so egocentric about my problems, that weren't real problems to begin with, since they were just simply mistakes (="things done wrong") ... which can always be turned into something positive and "right" as long they are not bad beyond repair.
I really adored this girl, she was always uplifting to me, bringing lots of positive change in my life, I loved her being so open and out-spoken, saying everything that came to her mind, to anyone's face,  eager to live it to the fullest and don't mind the consequences, party today, worry tomorrow about the hangover, I loved her being brave and daring, never ashamed of herself, proud of all her curves, modern-woman style of life, I associated her with positivity.

And then with time ... I've noticed that I've seen things in her in positive way, because those were the things I felt were lacking in my life. Being positive and loving to myself, accepting myself, being proud of who I am and what have I've become with time, even with all my failures that today make an interesting story of my life, to see that it's not boring at all and that my age and faults that brought me to experience new things have enriched me. I've realized that I was adoring and liking her for things I wished I would be able to reach, to be, to do, and not in envious/jealous way, but as an aspiration, because I was so dissatisfied with myself at the time and lacking self-confidence and doubting my own intelligence that this girl was a sunshine in comparison what I felt for myself.
But ... the day came when I embraced my life, faced it, fell in love again, breathed the positivity and shared it with people ... and suddenly I've seen the flaws in this girl that I haven't given that much thought before ... she has been so concerned to have fun in her life, to make and turn everything and everyone the way she wanted them to be, to please her, to adore her, to praise her, to love her and if they haven't she would speak ill of them, she has been often mean to people, saying everything straight in their faces, just because she's been so sure of being right and perfect, that people who don't match her criteria needed to hear her lectures and her point of view, the only one that matters, because she is a modern woman, with an open mind and everyone else around her are just idiots who don't get it. She has put down women for their looks, when she is not a super-model herself, she has been saying to everyone how positive and loving she is, when most words you would hear her say have been negative, criticizing everyone for not doing things "right her way" and hating everyone who wouldn't pay attention to her.
It took me to love me first again, to see that I don't adore or like that kind of girl, I don't appreciate that kind of behavior and I certainly don't find it positive or want to be around ... so I've left.
But, it may surprise you, I'm still friends with her, well, it helps that we live in different countries now and I've forgiven her and she has forgiven me and I guess I'm trying to keep seeing positive and hope she will outgrow some of that attitude and change ... I mean, she has many years to catch up with mine and I remember very vividly my faults at her age.

So this is one story of ... how we can be attracted to "wrong" characters ... how sometimes we see in others what we need, to fill some void in us and it may not be the whole picture until we are whole as a person... how friendships often are our reflections ... and what kind of people we socialize with says more about where we are with our state of mind.

Peace.

[nutty1]

Nick Viall ‏@viallnicholas28 2m
So fascinating how often hate is mistaken for the opposite of love, when in actuality the opposite of love is indifference. #TheMoreYouKnow

[dw_a_mom]

by isittrue Yesterday at 15:50

Just curious - am I the only one here that does not have facebook, twitter or instagram. I feel like such a SM outcast. A lot of my friends and family have it but I never got the urge.... I just call or email.

I joined Facebook originally because that was where my internet friends migrated together as message boards we posted on together closed. I do find it an easy way to keep up with long distance friends and family, and in that way it has brought me closer to many people that I used to only keep in touch with via holiday cards. Nothing has changed with the people I talk in person to.

I opened Instagram mostly as a new hobby; mine is a travel photography type account; mostly interaction with other hobby photographers, although some friends and family follow. When pictures show anything about my life I also post them on Facebook.

My twitter was opened last year and is a follow only account. Basically because I have a few friends who only use twitter, and I like seeing what they are up to. I don't check it that often because it really is a short list of friends that favor that medium so much over every other than I feel I need to.

I think its great that you don't feel a draw to have these accounts. Personal contact is the best. These should just be tools to enhance contact when it is difficult. For me, when someone is overseas, figuring out the timing to pick up a phone is hard; it is so much easier to wake up to their news from the day and comment on it. And, well, in real life I just hate the telephone now that I wear hearing aids.

[isittrue]

Nick Viall ‏@viallnicholas28  2m
So fascinating how often hate is mistaken for the opposite of love, when in actuality the opposite of love is indifference. #TheMoreYouKnow

Very interesting quote - actually saw someone talking about this very thing in one of the other forums. It is a true quote though. It takes passion and feelings to hate, while indifference takes nothing.

[isittrue]

by isittrue Yesterday at 15:50

Just curious - am I the only one here that does not have facebook, twitter or instagram.  I feel like such a SM outcast.  A lot of my friends and family have it but I never got the urge.... I just call or email.

I joined Facebook originally because that was where my internet friends migrated together as message boards we posted on together closed.  I do find it an easy way to keep up with long distance friends and family, and in that way it has brought me closer to many people that I used to only keep in touch with via holiday cards.  Nothing has changed with the people I talk in person to.

I opened Instagram mostly as a new hobby; mine is a travel photography type account; mostly interaction with other hobby photographers, although some friends and family follow.  When pictures show anything about my life I also post them on Facebook.

My twitter was opened last year and is a follow only account.  Basically because I have a few friends who only use twitter, and I like seeing what they are up to.  I don't check it that often because it really is a short list of friends that favor that medium so much over every other than I feel I need to.

I think its great that you don't feel a draw to have these accounts.  Personal contact is the best.  These should just be tools to enhance contact when it is difficult.  For me, when someone is overseas, figuring out the timing to pick up a phone is hard; it is so much easier to wake up to their news from the day and comment on it.  And, well, in real life I just hate the telephone now that I wear hearing aids.

In the past I never saw the need for any SM, most of my family and social circle live pretty close to me and I use Christmas cards as a way of communicating with old friends and roommates that I don't see as often. As my children have started school, I see that the majority of moms use Facebook as means of communication and the schools and sports teams seem to use this as well. Eventually, I suppose I will join in SM but still I am not feeling particularly rushed to do so. None of my friends use twitter - but I enjoy reading celeb's tweets.

[nutty1]

I love Facebook to keep up with friends I don't see much.
As far as twitter and IG, that is only for my reality TV obsession!!   

[sbolduc]

"The opposite of love's indifference" - a line in one of my favourite songs Stubborn Love by the Lumineers.

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