Re: Nick Viall - Media - Fan Forum - NO Discussion

[sdmom]

Sharing the love;keeping it real.

[happygolucky]

another link of GMA interview:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyObqkzhzL4

[nutty1]

Very good extended discussion with Nick and Ali on his feelings about the Bach experience and FS.

http://www.eonline.com/news/565276/nick-viall-explains-fantasy-suite-experience-with-andi-dorfman-our-intimacy-level-was-way-beyond-the-act-of-sex

Nick Viall Explains Fantasy Suite Experience With Andi Dorfman: Our Intimacy Level Was Way Beyond the "Act of Sex"
by Natalie Finn Thu., Jul. 31, 2014 8:10 PM PDT

Nick Viall has no regrets. Which is not to say he wouldn't have done anything differently on The Bachelorette if given the chance.

"You certainly have to be ready for the unexpected and everyone knows how skeptical I was, but I did try to have an open mind and allowed myself to fall in love," the man who did not end up with Andi Dorfman on the show's season finale this week told E! News' Ali Fedotowsky. "But you know, I think love can be found anywyhere. I didn't really go there looking for love! I was very clear with [Andi] about that."

But lo and behold, he did fall in love and he was left with a broken heart, a blindside that prompted him to pointedly confront Andi about their night in the infamous Bachelorette Fantasy Suite during the After the Final Rose special on Monday.

Asked if he really had no regrets, especially regarding him bringing up in front of millions of people that he and Andi had "made love" that night, Nick rolled his eyes.

"I love how people say that ['no regrets']," he said. "In hindsight you can always go back and change things. But again, over all, I was true to myself and I'm proud of that. I suppose I could always have said things differently or bit my tongue sometimes—without question maybe you'd go back and do things a little bit differently, but I certainly have no regrest about putting myself out there, no regrets about focusing on her and doing what I thought was best for our relationship."

And apparently, at the time, having sex seemed like the logical next move. But asked what he meant by saying he and Andi had "fiancée-type discussions" with each other, he insisted that more than physical intimacy transpired between them.

"I said fiancée-type stuff," Nick clarified. "I probably divulged enough information, so I won't get into too more detail now that I'm not caught up in the moment, but I mean it was a level of intimacy that was far beyond just the act of sex for me, which obviously was part of it."

"It was just very passionate, intimate, personal and emotional, just with the fact that an engagement was on the line, and that was understood by both of us and I was very clear about my feelings, and she was very clear about where she wanted this to go and I was very clear about where I thought it might be going," he said frankly. "I think that's kind of what I meant about it, in the situation."

Ultimately, Andi ended their relationship before the final rose ceremony, clearing the way for Josh Murray to be the only one proposing at show's end.

In the clip Nick reveals whether Andi ever told him she loved him, and hear him talk about how the Bachelorette's body language made him feel that they would end up together.

[nutty1]

Really good article in support of Nick and the life he offered Andi...  this woman really gets it!!  

http://elitedaily.com/dating/bachelorette-settling-safe/692675/

Lessons From ‘The Bachelorette’: Why Gen-Y Should Never Play It Safe
DATING • JUSTINE NANCARROW • AUG 1, 2014 - 2:51PM

Like every season of “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” before, my sisters and have I tuned in with intense commitment to watch this season’s bachelorette, Andi Dorfman, find her dream man.
On Monday night, we sat there with popcorn and great anticipation, waiting for Andi to hand the final rose to 33-year-old Nick Viall. Only then, she didn’t.
For those of you who didn’t watch, Viall is an endearing, confident but somewhat timid guy, with a bit of a naughty edge.
Okay, so there were some definite red flags: None of the guys liked him (always a bad sign); there was an unmistakable “bad boy” side to him and some questionable genuineness; he constantly struggled to effectively communicate.
These things weren’t deal-breakers, however. It was clear that most of these traits were amplified through clever production to drum up the entertainment edge — aka reality television at its best.
To us, and most of America, it was reasonably obvious from the beginning. Nick and Andi had overwhelming and undeniable chemistry and she was so clearly falling for him. Then, on the final day, she simply decided that Nick was too great of a risk, and their relationship was too uncertain.
Just like that, she chose the “safe” guy, Josh Murray. Andi made the decision to go with her idea of her perfect guy, and she chose the easy, yet ordinary relationship and turned her back on the challenging and potentially miraculous one she could have had.
It got me thinking: Why are we so afraid to take this risk? Why are we so hesitant to dive deep into a passionate and an intense love affair in case we get our hearts broken?
The relationships I’m referring to are the ones that will either end in utter calamity or all-consuming, forever love. It’s a huge risk to take, but doesn’t the possibility of the hopeful outcome make it all worth it?
I mean, we all know what getting our heart broken feels like, and we’re afraid to try again because we know how it ended last time.
The thing is, what is a relationship without the potential for heartbreak? If there isn’t the possibility of getting your heart broken, you’re obviously not that into this person anyway. Without this risk, what’s the point? Safety is perpetually boring.
I get that my analysis of Andi’s decision may seem like a slightly ignorant call to make from the outside, and that television producers can do wondrous things to make us think and believe certain things for the purpose of entertainment.
But I really hope for Andi’s sake that myself, my sisters, the other viewers and Nick, who said himself she’s playing it safe, have it entirely wrong. I hope she didn’t just take the safe option in Josh and that she’s actually madly in love with him because he does seem to be a really great guy.
I just have a feeling that’s not the case. Falling in love with the idea of someone is not the same as falling in love with the actual person.
In theory, Josh checks all the boxes: He’s the favorite amongst the men, the pleaser, the likeable and genuine character and the cheery personality.
They are all amazing qualities, but you can’t argue with chemistry, instant lust or a connection that is simply unconditional because these qualities in a relationship are irrevocable.
So if you find yourself in a similar position, worried about taking a risk and totally afraid of heartbreak, you only need to ask yourself one question: Is this person worth taking a risk for?
If you can trust that he or she will do right by you and that he or she is a good person, then allow yourself to be honest about how you feel and follow those feelings. Just make sure this person is worth leaping for and if you truly believe he or she is, jump right in.
As hard as it is at the time, heartbreak is ultimately better than always wondering what might have been.

[Admin]

Seans Not a blog

Guest post by Nick Viall
On The Bachelorette, the lights dim and the cameramen leave when it comes time for the Fantasy Suites. There’s an unwritten rule that no one really talks about what happens on those nights. However, what happens there actually affects the relationships in profound ways. It’s a time when a couple can be together and share special time with out the cameras. It doesn’t have to mean sex, but, of course, we all know that happens. Sean believes sex should happen in marriage, but I like that he’s open about the discussion surrounding the topic.
When people are hesitant to discuss sex, especially in the context of The Bachelorette fantasy suites, it feels a little inauthentic.

By now, everyone knows what happened in the fantasy suite between Andi and me. In the “After the Final Rose” episode, I had no intention of confronting Andi with my now infamous question about why she had sex with me. I figured she had been conflicted about what must’ve been a tough decision. The world of The Bachelorette is a complicated one, after all.
However, she started explaining away our relationship in the tidiest terms. In her explanation, she confessed that she had never loved me.
I let that sink in.
She never loved me.
As I sat there on national television, I tried to process this information. In my mind, I went back to that night in the fantasy suite. Though she couldn’t tell me that she loved me, I’d told her in no uncertain terms how I felt. I loved her. This was no fling for me. As far as I was concerned, we’d be engaged in a few days.
To me, sex between us was a big deal, and she knew it.
That’s why I feel Andi’s decision to have sex with me was not appropriate. Either she was unsure about our relationship or – worse – she was certain she was choosing Josh. In both of those circumstances, I felt as if she didn’t respect my feelings and that she should not had sex with me.
Why? Well, once we had sex, my feelings of love would be solidified in that scenario.
That’s not unusual – that’s normal.
In the After the Final Rose, her demeanor and perceived disregard for the relationship that we had her took me back. That’s why I decided to ask her that very simple question.
“Why did you make love to me?” I asked.

I used the phrase “make love” because that’s how I felt. It was more than just physical. It was an act – I thought – of love.
Whatever your beliefs about sex, we live in a very sexual world. To me what’s most important is that the two people involved have a clear understanding of what sex means to the other person. If the emotional attachment to sex isn’t equal, sex can be hurtful. Consequently, it should be treated with the greatest amount of respect.
Yes, both men and women need to respect it.
Sometimes people laugh off any emotional damage that sex can do to guys. The boys-will-be-boys mentality suggests the majority of men are really just looking to add another “notch on their belt.” Because of this unfair – inaccurate – stereotype, it’s often considered unmanly for a man to speak about the emotional repercussions of sex. But I’m here to attest that men fall in love just as hard as women do and that sex can be just as powerful to a man as it is to a woman.
Sex, when enjoyed in the right context, is a wonderful way to solidify a relationship. But when expectations aren’t the same for both partners, it can be devastating.
Let me say this: don’t shame Andi to support me. We all make mistakes, I’ve made mistakes. In a culture where sex has no bounds, it’s hard to figure out how to fit it into your life without hurting each other. That’s why it’s important to be sensitive to the emotional attachment that sex has to your potential partner and to treat it with the greatest amount of respect.
Also, I want to emphasize that I wish Andi and Josh all the best. I hope they have incredible happiness in their life together for years and decades to come.
I’m speaking out about this incident because I hope Bachelor Nation will have a more honest conversation about the Fantasy Suites and the emotional repercussions of sex.

[SueSt]

Really good article:

http://www.thefrisky.com/2014-08-08/the-bachelorette-romance-reject-nick-viall-blogs-about-sex-in-the-fantasy-suite-with-andi-dorfman/

“The Bachelorette” Romance Reject Nick Viall Blogs About Sex In The Fantasy Suite With Andi Dorfman
Posted by Jessica Wakeman /August 8, 2014

While “Bachelorette” Andi Dorfman is busy posting pictures of her fiancé Josh Murray on her Instagram, her number two choice Nick Viall is preoccupied with something else. Getting dumped by Andi, yes, but also why she slept with him in the “fantasy suite” (AKA the place on the show where the couple can be together without the cameras around for an entire evening).

We all watched on the “After The Final Rose” episode as Chris Harrison explained that twice after getting dumped, Nick tried to contact Andi to talk in person. Both times, she refused to see him. The two finally saw each other for the first time on live TV and Nick got the opportunity — prodded by Harrison — to ask Andi what had been weighing on his mind. What he asked wasn’t necessarily what anyone expected a good-looking 30something dude to ask and it dominated headlines the next day: ”Why did you make love to me if you didn’t love me?”

Andi acted like a snot and huffed that his question was “below the belt.” However, as Nick wrote in a long essay on ex-”Bachelor” Sean Lowe’s blog for the religion website Patheos.com, it was very much a question on Nick’s mind all along. He was expecting to have gotten engaged to Andi in a few days hence. He was deeply in love and sex, clearly, meant a lot more to him than it did to her.

Nick writes:

By now, everyone knows what happened in the fantasy suite between Andi and me. In the “After the Final Rose” episode, I had no intention of confronting Andi with my now infamous question about why she had sex with me. I figured she had been conflicted about what must’ve been a tough decision. The world of ‘The Bachelorette’ is a complicated one, after all.

However, she started explaining away our relationship in the tidiest terms. In her explanation, she confessed that she had never loved me.

I let that sink in.

She never loved me.

As I sat there on national television, I tried to process this information. In my mind, I went back to that night in the fantasy suite. Though she couldn’t tell me that she loved me, I’d told her in no uncertain terms how I felt. I loved her.

This was no fling for me. As far as I was concerned, we’d be engaged in a few days.

To me, sex between us was a big deal, and she knew it.

That’s why I feel Andi’s decision to have sex with me was not appropriate. Either she was unsure about our relationship or – worse – she was certain she was choosing Josh. In both of those circumstances, I felt as if she didn’t respect my feelings and that she should not had sex with me.

Nick then goes on to actually bust gender stereotypes, writing that yes, there is an emotional component of sex that can matter greatly to men. He asks that no one “shame Andi to support me” (a reference to all those who claimed “sl**-shaming” during that part of “After The Final Rose”) but instead implores readers to “be sensitive to the emotional attachment that sex has to your partner and treat it with the greatest amount of respect.” Nick writes:


To me what’s most important is that the two people involved have a clear understanding of what sex means to the other person. If the emotional attachment to sex isn’t equal, sex can be hurtful. Consequently, it should be treated with the greatest amount of respect.

Yes, both men and women need to respect it.

Sometimes people laugh off any emotional damage that sex can do to guys. The boys-will-be-boys mentality suggests the majority of men are really just looking to add another “notch on their belt.” Because of this unfair – inaccurate – stereotype, it’s often considered unmanly for a man to speak about the emotional repercussions of sex. But I’m here to attest that men fall in love just as hard as women do and that sex can be just as powerful to a man as it is to a woman.

I have to say that Nick Viall was always my favorite choice on that show and I’m impressed with everything he wrote here. He has realistic expectations for modern day sexual mores — even for a TV show based on highly traditional ways of dating — and obviously he was just not looking for “casual sex” with Andi. (Although casual sex, in and of itself, is not something I have a problem with.)

It’s a shame that in 2014 Nick even has to say all this; it should just be a matter of having decency towards one another. If Andi were Andy and Nick were Nicole, everyone’s head would be exploding over Andy being a sleaze. I give Nick a lot of respect for writing this — more, I’ll say, than he ever got from Andi.

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