Married At First Sight - Season 1 - General Discussion - **Spoilers**

Did any of you read the comments under the Monet interview? OUCH!!!!
Let me put 2 cents into that argument about angry black women and loser black men.....
My daughter's ex husband, a white guy, reminds me of Vaughn. My daughter's super great current husband, a Black guy, reminds me of Doug and Jason.
Just sayin' It's the person inside; his maturity, loyalty, and commitment, that make him a real man or a louse.

Great article on Monet. Hope we see similar ones from other contestants. We should start a poll on what the outcomes will be for each couple. I think all 3 will stay together after 5 weeks. The litmus test will be where there are 6 months or a year from now.

theKeptGrits wrote:Did any of you read the comments under the Monet interview? OUCH!!!!
Let me put 2 cents into that argument about angry black women and loser black men.....
My daughter's ex husband, a white guy, reminds me of Vaughn. My daughter's super great current husband, a Black guy, reminds me of Doug and Jason.
Just sayin' It's the person inside; his maturity, loyalty, and commitment, that make him a real man or a louse.

I'm them reading now. Very interesting comments.

I don't think Monet was dishonest about what she wants it was just communicated wrong. I think she wants a strong manly man who will be the fixer at home and romantic with her but want a partnership in the marriage. Not someone who wants a submissive wife just a guy who wants to be the "man" of the house but would respect her independence and social life etc.

I think Jason is a lot like this. He is the "strong" type who would be the man about the house but would not expect Cortney to wait on him etc. They both have lives outside of their relationship which is key.

I've been lurking on this site too for the past few weeks. I'm a guy who was mildly curious about the premise of the show, watched the first episode and got HOOKED. Man, if the fellas knew I was hooked on MAFS I would never hear the end of it...LOL.

As for Vaughn and Monet...they are both very strong-willed people. Vaughn is old-school and has very traditional views about marriage. He expects his woman to cook for him and to cater to him, make him feel like the king of the castle. I would bet that's how it was with his parents growing up. His mom probably took care of his dad and the home. Dad paid the bills and brought home the bacon, though Vaughn did mention that his mom made for money than his dad. Nevertheless the environment he grew up in is what he himself desires.

Monet is your typical Destiny's Child style independent woman. She has her own nice little life just the way she likes it. Her place in Harlem, brunch with the girls, etc. I feel she very much wants a husband and children, just as long as they can fit into her life as it exists. I feel Vaughn thinks she doesn't appreciate the sacrifices he has made for her. They were the only couple not to look for a new place together which I feel they should've done for a fresh start. I never get the impression it's "their place", but rather its Monet's place and Vaughn just stays there.

Both can be stubborn at times and its become a competition between them and not a relationship anymore. Monet has to realize whether with Vaughn or any man that you can't squeeze him into your life, you have to BUILD a new life together. Vaughn needs to understand the days of June Cleaver putting on a dress to make Wally and the Beaver's lunch in the morning are long gone. (Ok I know I just dated myself and that one went right over young folks' heads). He has to realize that while there are still some women who might embrace the take-care-of-my-husband lifestyle, they are quite few and far between.

You gotta love Cortney and Jason. As many have said, Cortney is very mature and I think is dealing with Jason's issues in the perfect way. She's encouraging but not forcing him to open up, yet all the while stating I'm totally here for you in any way you need me. Even though they haven't shown her parents it is obvious she was extremely well-raised. Not sure what Jason is keeping bottled up but I suspect its not just his mother's medical situation but something altogether different. Whatever it is, its something that he feels could affect the relationship which is why he isn't opening up about it. We'll just have to wait and see but I think they will make it because Cortney is ultra-committed to the marriage and the more Jason realizes that, the sooner he will open up as well.

As for Dough and Jamie I have just not cared for Jamie since the wedding fiasco. to me sometimes she plays this "victim" role up a bit too much. I get that she grew up in a trailer park. I grew up in a neighborhood where gunshots, drugs and crime were everyday occurences. But I know everyone deals with situations differently. I do give her credit for giving Doug a chance to show her he's a good dude all around. She needed to deal with her issues before signing up for MAFS. it's clear Doug could care less she's from a trailer park so why is it bothering her so much? Marriage won't cure your own personal issues. I also look at her sideways because its plain as day she wants to parlay this into a career as a television personality and that alone makes me skeptical of her. As for the SmokinGate drama, if I had to wait almost a month to consummate my marriage I'd be puffing down a pack a day too. I'm just not convinced that Jamie's heart is sincerely in it to win it. But somehow if they divorce I don't think Doug will be single too long (wink).

Lovedaddio to the club of those of us who remember the June Cleaver days!

I was a little disappointed in Jamie in the last episode. She wants everyone to be understanding of her past. Doug has been tiptoeing around her giving her plenty of time and patience, and she couldn't understand the situation he was in by having a smoke after a stressful day. She has come a long way for herself considering the way she was raised and I give her a lot of credit for that. Putting him in the same group of those who lied to her in the past is totally unfair.

It would have been nice if she was more understanding in why he lied,  (probably because he didn't want her to go off the deep end). People who have past issues, then lump everyone else into the same category gets under my skin. Doug has nothing to do with her past or those who are responsible for her issues, rather she should be grateful she has married someone who is so understanding and doesn't judge her by her past.

Lovedaddio welcome! You're not alone in remembering the June Cleaver days! Glad to have a man's perspective. I think there are a lot more 'hybrid' women out there than you realize - by hybrid I mean want to take care of their man and the house while having a career. It's just that their husbands are also hybrid - they take care of things too!

The "lie." The way Doug lied was super-lame and Arrested Adolescent (lives at home, anyone?), and would have raised red flags for me. I grew up (actually, about 20 miles down the road from Jamie's trailer park!!)  in the happiest of happy homes on this planet, and I would have viewed that sort of juvenile cover-up as a red-flag on maturity and yes, candor. Doug has plenty of issues.  I think they are well-matched, and will try to make it work after the deadline passes, but Doug's ties to his own family are also a sign that he has some work to do before he is ready to stand on his own feet as a husband.  He is still leaning on that support system a lot.  

The Format. Professional tic, I am curious about the role of TV-show finances and legalities on the marriage behaviors that may have influenced the "experiment."  Seems that the producers likely subsidized housing costs (thus the ability to move in together in a new short-term lease place?), and I would imagine also are agreeing to pick up the tab for a no-fault divorce, and there must have been a pre-nup of sorts, so that divorce would be utterly straightforward, stipulated outcome. Divorce post-contract is obviously also readily available as a legal matter, but not for free, with lawyers and costs and fees all covered.  Maybe they signed pre-nups that would protect them? The longer they stay together post-experiment, the more entangled their affairs, and the more hassle, etc. So, ironically, the format itself promotes break-up, in the absence of emotional intimacy and trust.  

I was wondering with Jason/Cortney #1 fear if they worried how they would manage on their own, without free experts, without subsidized joint housing, etc etc.

I wish someone would tweet those questions to FYI and the experts.  (The cast would obviously be gagged.)   The experts are well chosen.  They seem to be to be giving not just excellent, but outstanding, support and guidance.  It's a component of the show formula that makes the show educational and also entertaining.

jlccaz wrote:The "lie."  The way Doug lied was super-lame and Arrested Adolescent (lives at home, anyone?), and would have raised red flags for me. I grew up (actually, about 20 miles down the road from Jamie's trailer park!!)  in the happiest of happy homes on this planet, and I would have viewed that sort of juvenile cover-up as a red-flag on maturity and yes, candor.  Doug has plenty of issues.  I think they are well-matched, and will try to make it work after the deadline passes, but Doug's ties to his own family are also a sign that he has some work to do before he is ready to stand on his own feet as a husband.  He is still leaning on that support system a lot.  

The Format.  Professional tic, I am curious about the role of TV-show finances and legalities on the marriage behaviors that may have influenced the "experiment."  Seems that the producers likely subsidized housing costs (thus the ability to move in together in a new short-term lease place?), and I would imagine also are agreeing to pick up the tab for a no-fault divorce, and there must have been a pre-nup of sorts, so that divorce would be utterly straightforward, stipulated outcome.  Divorce post-contract is obviously also readily available as a legal matter, but not for free, with lawyers and costs and fees all covered.  Maybe they signed pre-nups that would protect them?  The longer they stay together post-experiment, the more entangled their affairs, and the more hassle, etc.  So, ironically, the format itself promotes break-up, in the absence of emotional intimacy and trust.    

I was wondering with Jason/Cortney #1 fear if they worried how they would manage on their own, without free experts, without subsidized joint housing, etc etc.

I wish someone would tweet those questions to FYI and the experts.  (The cast would obviously be gagged.)   The experts are well chosen.  They seem to be to be giving not just excellent, but outstanding, support and guidance.  It's a component of the show formula that makes the show educational and also entertaining.

I couldn't agree with you more, jlccaz.  

I dislike the way that Jamie is being vilified and Doug put on a pedestal, when they are BOTH good people IMO, and neither is without "red flags" and neither has conducted themselves perfectly in this thing.  Whether Jamie signed up for the show because she has show biz ambitions or not, she certainly seems to be taking it seriously now.  Remember she wasn't at all physically attracted to the guy when they met, so although that's changing, I don't fault her for not wanting to have sex with him after 2-3 weeks (not a month) of knowing him.  The "experts" usually say that a woman shouldn't have sex until she has been dating the person at least 2 months, don't they?  And yes, they're already married, but we're not in the Old Country where the bride had no free will in the decision and pretty much became the property of her husband after marriage, so I don't think those same rules/customs apply here.  Doug is very patient because he is both physically attracted to Jamie and likes her personality/character etc; she's basically his dream woman, and I haven't heard him say anything about lessening his opinion of/interest in her after getting to know her better, so it's all good for Doug.  I wonder if he would be quite this patient if HE wasn't all that enthralled with who they had picked for him from the get go.

jlccaz wrote:The "lie."  The way Doug lied was super-lame and Arrested Adolescent (lives at home, anyone?), and would have raised red flags for me. I grew up (actually, about 20 miles down the road from Jamie's trailer park!!)  in the happiest of happy homes on this planet, and I would have viewed that sort of juvenile cover-up as a red-flag on maturity and yes, candor.  Doug has plenty of issues.  I think they are well-matched, and will try to make it work after the deadline passes, but Doug's ties to his own family are also a sign that he has some work to do before he is ready to stand on his own feet as a husband.  He is still leaning on that support system a lot.  

The Format.  Professional tic, I am curious about the role of TV-show finances and legalities on the marriage behaviors that may have influenced the "experiment."  Seems that the producers likely subsidized housing costs (thus the ability to move in together in a new short-term lease place?), and I would imagine also are agreeing to pick up the tab for a no-fault divorce, and there must have been a pre-nup of sorts, so that divorce would be utterly straightforward, stipulated outcome.  Divorce post-contract is obviously also readily available as a legal matter, but not for free, with lawyers and costs and fees all covered.  Maybe they signed pre-nups that would protect them?  The longer they stay together post-experiment, the more entangled their affairs, and the more hassle, etc.  So, ironically, the format itself promotes break-up, in the absence of emotional intimacy and trust.    

I[b] was wondering with Jason/Cortney #1 fear if they worried how they would manage on their own, without free experts, without subsidized joint housing, etc etc.

I wish someone would tweet those questions to FYI and the experts.  (The cast would obviously be gagged.)   The experts are well chosen.  They seem to be to be giving not just excellent, but outstanding, support and guidance.  It's a component of the show formula that makes the show educational and also entertaining.[/b]

I was wondering the same thing on the format.  I think from social media that Cortney and Jason are still together but I don't think they are in that same apartment.  They did do a lot of decorating but pictures from the last few months they have both posted don't look like that apartment.  That would make the decision more stressful - "like we have to move all over again".  

I read somewhere that the experts made the show guarantee that a divorce would be paid for by the show for up to 6 months which would be the end of September.  They did not want that added cost to be a factor.

jlccaz.....I wouldn't call Doug living at home a red flag situation. If you remember from the earlier episodes Doug lost his job and was out of work for a while and was forced to move back home and start over. The same thing happened to me. Was laid off and out of work for almost 2 1/2 years. Unemployment ran out. What was I or in this case Doug supposed to do. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Coming from her upbringing I would have thought Jamie would understand that. Doug said he was living with family trying to save up money. To me, that's a smart move under the circumstances. Now don't get me wrong, Doug flat out lied, even brought "his mother's grave" into it. That was totally wrong on his part. Even though I think Jamie would've overacted the same way even if he had told the truth.

I agree that one of the best aspects of this show are the experts. They seem very in tune with the problems the couples are facing and are giving sound, practical advice. To me that legitimizes the concept of the show and makes it more of a docudrama than your typical reality tv show.

As for the financial aspects, it wouldn't surprise me if the show was financing some aspect of all this. But I don't think they'll be in the poorhouse tomorrow once the show ends. Remember they were ALL living in NY/NJ on their own before the show, so I think all will be able to manage, even in the insane rental environment that is New York City.

GuardianAngel, Norcalgal....thanks for the welcome. Too bad I can't stand the bachelor/ette. This seems like a really good forum with lots of intelligent and insightful folks.