Bachelorette 10 - Andi Dorfman and CH's Blog - *Spoilers* - Discussion

I've enjoyed reading everyone's input on the topic of Andi. It's good to hear different perspectives.

I'm a firm believer that each individual and each couple are unique. If Andi decides she never wants to return to law, that is her prerogative. If she wants to change jobs, that is her prerogative. If she does not wish to return to work and Josh is on board with that, then that is their decision as a couple. I believe that the Women's Liberation Movement of decades ago was all about women having more opportunities in how they wish to live their lives. The choices, however, are still up to the individuals. I don't think any one from the outside can say what is or isn't going to work for another couple.

MiaHawk wrote:I've enjoyed reading everyone's input on the topic of Andi.  It's good to hear different perspectives.

I'm a firm believer that each individual and each couple are unique.  If Andi decides she never wants to return to law, that is her prerogative. If she wants to change jobs, that is her prerogative.  If she does not wish to return to work and Josh is on board with that, then that is their decision as a couple.  I believe that the Women's Liberation Movement of decades ago was all about women having more opportunities in how they wish to live their lives.  The choices, however, are still up to the individuals.  I don't think any one from the outside can say what is or isn't going to work for another couple.

 

or if she chooses to move to CHI to have babies with Nick!!   

ironcat wrote:While Josh may indeed have a more "traditional male" protective attitude than Nick does, I highly doubt that was the main reason why Andi chose him, or fell in love with him and not Nick.  That said, her type is "manly men" (she has certainly told us this enough times   ) and Josh epitomizes that.  I'm sure there are plenty of other strong career women who also like this type.  I don't assume it means that all of them want to shirk all responsibilities in the relationship and be catered to by their guy 24/7 while giving nothing in return.  Regardless, it takes two to tango, and whatever dynamic works for a couple, that's their business, not mine.

I agree. Whatever floats your boat, and Josh is the traditional "manly man" despite his eruption into giggle fits on episode 2 ;)

It is the way he wraps his arms around her, the way he drew the drunk guy away from her, and so on.

But the kicker may be that Josh is simply lighter than Nick and, thus, Andi finds herself happier and more relaxed around Josh. That seems to be something she needs.

Alanna wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:

MiaHawk wrote:
Yes, perhaps Josh's ability to tease/joke is a good way to diffuse Andi.  I think a more stern or serious conversation might put her on the defensive.  Yes, she is young and still has much growing to do.  I admit that I have a definite bias against divas.  Even the self-admitted ones, .  I definitely do have a dislike of pampered princesses.  I admit it.  It's not just Andi. Anytime I meet a needy, dependent, entitled diva, I think: That's a former spoiled brat.  The world needs less spoiled brats and less divas, IMHO.  Others may disagree, and that's totally fine, too.  Peace.    

Re the bold, that's exactly what I was thinking, and wondered why she was complaining he was always happy. I think that quality in him is exactly what she needs to tone down her analytical traits.

IA with the spoiled brats. IMO they are missing out in life, knowing and experiencing the feeling of giving and helping others because they are too wrapped up in themselves.

I think she was questioning why he's happy because once again she's afraid that he's happy naturally and would be happy with any girl and she's not special to him, he can leave her at any moment, etc. It follows along with how she tearfully imo told him she never ever believed he would say he loves her and wants her to be his wife. She's just STILL insecure with him even though she can admit that deep down she knows he loves her and isn't going anywhere.

I think you are spot on here about Andi's psychology. I actually found her to be extremely vulnerable almost wounded little girl like when she said to Josh that she never expected him to say those words to her. It evoked in me a lot of compassion for her. For whatever her reason is, in spite of her being beautiful, intelligent, educated, talented, etc., there is at least a part of her that questions someone like Josh loving her (would guess at least a part of that are any residual feelings of betrayal by ex-boyfriend). Good news though is, as you said, there appears to be a vital part of her (and as Andi herself aptly intuited that is deep down - I would add - beneath her insecurities/wounds) that is able to accept and "know" Josh's love.

There are ways to say ILU that screamed to her the reality that is Josh .. He wanted to make absobloodylutely sure that she knew deep down .. Not just on the surface .. He got thru the hard surface of Andi on several levels .. To the soft center of her universe

dw_a_mom wrote:

ironcat wrote:While Josh may indeed have a more "traditional male" protective attitude than Nick does, I highly doubt that was the main reason why Andi chose him, or fell in love with him and not Nick.  That said, her type is "manly men" (she has certainly told us this enough times   ) and Josh epitomizes that.  I'm sure there are plenty of other strong career women who also like this type.  I don't assume it means that all of them want to shirk all responsibilities in the relationship and be catered to by their guy 24/7 while giving nothing in return.  Regardless, it takes two to tango, and whatever dynamic works for a couple, that's their business, not mine.

I agree.  Whatever floats your boat, and Josh is the traditional "manly man" despite his eruption into giggle fits on episode 2 ;)

It is the way he wraps his arms around her, the way he drew the drunk guy away from her, and so on.

But the kicker may be that Josh is simply lighter than Nick and, thus, Andi finds herself happier and more relaxed around Josh.  That seems to be something she needs.

Actually my favorite moment in this vein is his totally angry/livid face when he heard her crying/whining. It was intensely hilarious but pretty cute

Alanna wrote:I obviously don't know what's going on in their real relationship or what they're thinking, but I can see Josh being very supportive of her leaving the path to a prosecutor, taking time off to enjoy life/wedding plan/whatever and then returning to another aspect of law.

I mean...
http://sandrarose.com/2014/04/fulton-assistant-district-attorney-critically-wounded-in-double-shooting/

http://www.thecrimereport.org/viewpoints/robin-barton/2013-02-is-being-a-prosecutor-a-dangerous-job

I have no problem with Andi not wanting to be an ADA anymore. To me it is understandable and honestly a lot of fresh out of law school lawyers do the ADA thing for a year or two before moving on. I do think she has chosen to move on, and that is okay. I don't think she will return to the ADA job. She had a leave of absence until December. If she wanted that job back, she could have just let the LOA stand. She didn't need to resign.

This is not a slight on Andi. She is free to pursue other avenues of law or opportunities. I just don't think we should represent that Andi wants to return to being an ADA, her actions of resigning are not consistent with that.

I actually pointed out somewhere on here that Andi with her law qualifications and Josh being a financial advisor could be a powerful team in working with athletes. If they chose that good for them.

Leaving the ADA job is inconsistent with the story she and TPTB sold us. But apparently acting and telling half truths makes you a better lead. Andi in my opinion has been one of TPTB's favorite leads. Probably right up there with Sean, who according to Umngirl, didn't love Lindsey even though he said it, had no hard time picking Cat instead of Des at F4 even though he sure acted it out on screen, among other things. TPTB appreciates a lead that will do these misleading things to make their show better.

Thanks for sharing that tidbit about Sean's relationship with Tptb all the dirt in this Bachelor house that Millsy, CH, MF etc built! ooooweeeee! As much as Courtney isn't my fave for many reasons I'm super excited at her blowing their roof out with some of her revelations...she's a smart cookie and I assume she read between the lines of her contract to push the boundaries of what she sold and as "career ladder/social climbing" Ali became (which I'm not bashing her for at all as ambition is a good thing esp without stepping on other ppl - minus the lies and misleading she did quite a few times *cough cough*)  I like that Ali lets one rip out of her once in a while to reveal their machinations as well...

These people make tons of money out of manipulating people's emotions -- Arie, Reid, Ryan from Ash's season and many many more (as we've recently been reminded) and some leads buy into it without deeply reflecting on the ethical ramifications of this ridiculous process... when everyone on that chessboard knows the rules it's all fair but when the edit throws the guy/gal under the bus + causes heartbreak egging him on + adds salt to the would potentially buy inspiring the jilted guy/gal to run after the lead....it's just that....ridiculous and it's sad that nobody calls them out on it anymore.

As for Andi -- it's been quite interesting observing her "journey" served to us on a storyboard platter and we can only hope for the best for the parties involved however it ends and they all make their own choices and are responsible for them. we shall see where this will be in a year from now.

SueSt wrote:

MiaHawk wrote:I've enjoyed reading everyone's input on the topic of Andi.  It's good to hear different perspectives.

I'm a firm believer that each individual and each couple are unique.  If Andi decides she never wants to return to law, that is her prerogative. If she wants to change jobs, that is her prerogative.  If she does not wish to return to work and Josh is on board with that, then that is their decision as a couple.  I believe that the Women's Liberation Movement of decades ago was all about women having more opportunities in how they wish to live their lives.  The choices, however, are still up to the individuals.  I don't think any one from the outside can say what is or isn't going to work for another couple.

 

or if she chooses to move to CHI to have babies with Nick!!    

Yes, of course. Sorry. I should have said "...and Josh/Nick are on board...." Oopsies!

stuckinsc wrote:

Alanna wrote:I obviously don't know what's going on in their real relationship or what they're thinking, but I can see Josh being very supportive of her leaving the path to a prosecutor, taking time off to enjoy life/wedding plan/whatever and then returning to another aspect of law.

I mean...
http://sandrarose.com/2014/04/fulton-assistant-district-attorney-critically-wounded-in-double-shooting/

http://www.thecrimereport.org/viewpoints/robin-barton/2013-02-is-being-a-prosecutor-a-dangerous-job

I have no problem with Andi not wanting to be an ADA anymore.  To me it is understandable and honestly a lot of fresh out of law school lawyers do the ADA thing for a year or two before moving on.  I do think she has chosen to move on, and that is okay.  I don't think she will return to the ADA job. She had a leave of absence until December.  If she wanted that job back, she could have just let the LOA stand.  She didn't need to resign.

This is not a slight on Andi.  She is free to pursue other avenues of law or opportunities.  I just don't think we should represent that Andi wants to return to being an ADA, her actions of resigning are not consistent with that.

I actually pointed out somewhere on here that Andi with her law qualifications and Josh being a financial advisor could be a powerful team in working with athletes.  If they chose that good for them.

Leaving the ADA job is inconsistent with the story she and TPTB sold us.  But apparently acting and telling half truths makes you a better lead.  Andi in my opinion has been one of TPTB's favorite leads.  Probably right up there with Sean, who according to Umngirl, didn't love Lindsey even though he said it, had no hard time picking Cat instead of Des at F4 even though he sure acted it out on screen, among other things.  TPTB appreciates a lead that will do these misleading things to make their show better.

First off, I never said Sean didn't love Lindsey. I said he wasn't IN LOVE with her. There's a difference. And I'm just using Sean's own words as he's been more open about his experience in the year+ since it's ended. And Sean has always maintained he hated sending people home because he knew he was hurting them and he hated that fact. The actual sending of Des home was difficult because he knew he was hurting her, not that he was letting go of someone he was in love with/falling in love with.

All leads have to lead people on to some extent. It's the nature of the show. I don't understand why certain leads are singled out with this while others are ignored.

Apparently JPG didn't lead Andi on, and she was pissed that he didn't want to know more about her.   

It is the nature of the show to string people along to get to the final one. Sometimes the lead gets hurt (Brooks, Graham's and Frank's exits), sometimes the lead gives clues that their heart is elsewhere (Brad with Chantal when he told her to slow down); and sometimes the leads get caught up in the moment (Alex told Trista he was going to choose her and didn't; Andy told Bevin he freaking loved her).

Then sometimes the leads are overjoyed that everyone is falling in love with them (Blob).

Where does Andi fit in? She told Nick she was happy to hear he was in love with her ... was that an in the moment feeling? She didn't have to respond at all if she was so gone for Josh.

hahahahahah  hilarious that Andi's parallel has even a tiny chance to be with BLOB (even to much much lesser extent..still hilarious)