Bachelor In Paradise - General Discussion - *Spoilers*

sanlee088 wrote:

atem wrote:I like Ashlee and I usually don't like the selfie absorbed types.  LOL  I really don't like Kalon though and they would never work out as they are way too similar and Ashlee needs a guy that's more down to earth, but rich enough for all her fashion fetish.

I like/d AshLee too. I am looking forward to seeing her on the show.  I guess it will just be me and you atem.  

I guess so!

I don't have anything against her...yet. As an armchair psychologist, I felt she had a tad bit of OCD which explained to me some of her quirks. I was actually excited when she started dating Brad as he strikes me as a similar type. Very careful and controlling (though how did he end up in the bar business then?) but good at heart. I hope Docnash will chime in on this!

I do not dislike Ashley either.  I do think that she has a lot of insecurities that have shaped who she is as a person.  And I felt like Ashley got caught up in the Bach Bubble, believing that she had found the man of her dreams in Sean.
 
And I felt like Sean was doing his "job" as the lead so well, by saying and doing just enough to convince Ashley that she was the "one", which in turn gave her the feeling that he was going to choose her at the end.  Perhaps it was partly because Ashley was seeing and hearing what she wanted to and partly because Sean was so good as his "job" that he was thoroughly convincing her. These two things plus the "personal baggage" that she brought with her to the show helped fuel her dramatic departure at the end. Could she have handled it better? Of course.

I don't follow her on any SM sites, and I don't know her personally, but I do wish her well in life.

Longhornfan wrote:I do not dislike Ashley either.  I do think that she has a lot of insecurities that have shaped who she is as a person.  And I felt like Ashley got caught up in the Bach Bubble, believing that she had found the man of her dreams in Sean.
 
And I felt like Sean was doing his "job" as the lead so well, by saying and doing just enough to convince Ashley that she was the "one", which in turn gave her the feeling that he was going to choose her at the end.  Perhaps it was partly because Ashley was seeing and hearing what she wanted to and partly because Sean was so good as his "job" that he was thoroughly convincing her.  These two things plus the "personal baggage" that she brought with her to the show helped fuel her dramatic departure at the end.  Could she have handled it better?  Of course.

I don't follow her on any SM sites, and I don't know her personally, but I do wish her well in life.

   We always see the edited version. She was made to look insecure and there may be truth to that.
Overall I suspect all or almost all of the people from these shows are "ordinary" people in their real lives.

notarose wrote:

Longhornfan wrote:I do not dislike Ashley either.  I do think that she has a lot of insecurities that have shaped who she is as a person.  And I felt like Ashley got caught up in the Bach Bubble, believing that she had found the man of her dreams in Sean.
 
And I felt like Sean was doing his "job" as the lead so well, by saying and doing just enough to convince Ashley that she was the "one", which in turn gave her the feeling that he was going to choose her at the end.  Perhaps it was partly because Ashley was seeing and hearing what she wanted to and partly because Sean was so good as his "job" that he was thoroughly convincing her.  These two things plus the "personal baggage" that she brought with her to the show helped fuel her dramatic departure at the end.  Could she have handled it better?  Of course.

I don't follow her on any SM sites, and I don't know her personally, but I do wish her well in life.

    We always see the edited version.  She was made to look insecure and there may be truth to that.  
Overall I suspect all or almost all of the people from these shows are "ordinary" people in their real lives.

I agree. MOST of us (I know I have) have carried at least some "baggage" into our personal relationships at some point in our lives, and Ashley did seem to indicate that she herself knew that she had issues that she needed to work through. Therefore, her edit was that she carried the feeling of abandonment with her. I also would like to add that I felt like Ashley's handler helped to convince her that Sean was going to pick her. It was like the perfect storm, and the producers got exactly what they wanted at the end from her.

Longhornfan wrote:

notarose wrote:

Longhornfan wrote:I do not dislike Ashley either.  I do think that she has a lot of insecurities that have shaped who she is as a person.  And I felt like Ashley got caught up in the Bach Bubble, believing that she had found the man of her dreams in Sean.
 
And I felt like Sean was doing his "job" as the lead so well, by saying and doing just enough to convince Ashley that she was the "one", which in turn gave her the feeling that he was going to choose her at the end.  Perhaps it was partly because Ashley was seeing and hearing what she wanted to and partly because Sean was so good as his "job" that he was thoroughly convincing her.  These two things plus the "personal baggage" that she brought with her to the show helped fuel her dramatic departure at the end.  Could she have handled it better?  Of course.

I don't follow her on any SM sites, and I don't know her personally, but I do wish her well in life.

    We always see the edited version.  She was made to look insecure and there may be truth to that.  
Overall I suspect all or almost all of the people from these shows are "ordinary" people in their real lives.

I agree.  MOST of us (I know I have) have carried at least some "baggage" into our personal relationships at some point in our lives, and Ashley did seem to indicate that she herself knew that she had issues that she needed to work through.  Therefore, her edit was that she carried the feeling of abandonment with her.  I also would like to add that I felt like Ashley's handler helped to convince her that Sean was going to pick her.  It was like the perfect storm, and the producers got exactly what they wanted at the end from her.  

I agree with everything you said. In my opinion, western society does not teach how to metabolize feelings, although I think it is making headway as attention is now given to the "need for closure" and as more therapists incorporate the Eastern practice of mindfulness into their practices. (The caveat to this is that we need to be cognizant that there is a huge difference between knowing what we feel and actually feeling those feelings.) Accordingly, as you said, the majority of us, have unresolved feelings that are carried with us into our relationships, albeit for some they may be lying dormant just waiting to be triggered. As Ashley lamented a myriad of times during Sean's season, her core unresolved issue was that of abandonment. Typically, a person with this issue associates abandonment with powerlessness; thus, one of his/her primary life strategies becomes doing what is necessary to avoid powerlessness in the hopes of avoiding being abandoned again and/or feeling the pain associated with the original abandonment. That strategy often manifests itself to others as the need to be in control in all things.

Irish, to address your observation with respect to OCD, there are actually two different disorders in the DSM with the nomenclature of obsessive-compulsive disorder. The first which is typically referred to as OCD historically has been categorized as an Axis I Anxiety Disorder (DSM-5 which was released in May of last year re-classified it into a new category of its own - Obsessive Compulsive and Related Disorders - which also includes the new disorder Hoarding). This diagnosis is given when an individual engages in either compulsive/ritualistic behaviors such as counting, washing hands, etc. or in ruminative thinking. The second obsessive-compulsive disorder in the DSM is a personality disorder. Its essential features are a pre-occupation with orderliness, details and organization; perfectionism; and both mental and interpersonal control often at the expense of openness and flexibility.

While it would not be appropriate for me to offer a diagnosis for Ashley, I will say that I would be more likely to consider this second diagnosis for someone with abandonment issues and resultant issues with control.

atem wrote:

sanlee088 wrote:

atem wrote:I like Ashlee and I usually don't like the selfie absorbed types.  LOL  I really don't like Kalon though and they would never work out as they are way too similar and Ashlee needs a guy that's more down to earth, but rich enough for all her fashion fetish.

I like/d AshLee too. I am looking forward to seeing her on the show.  I guess it will just be me and you atem.  

I guess so!  

I'm there with you guys. I always felt the producers did a real snow job with her. I'm surprised she's willing to succumb to them again.

IrishGal wrote:Wow!  What did Ashlee do to garner all this dislike?

For me it has been her fame whore behavior after the bachelor. She takes self promotion to an extreme level. I have looked her up on social media a couple of times (I only do facebook but will occasionally look up others on twitter or IG), the selfies, the calendar, the always trying to put herself in the middle of the men in any group.

That is why I don't like her. I also thought she was being over the top on WTA, as everyone has said the lead has to lead on all of the F3. If Sean had really wanted to lead her on she could have been kept to F2.

We are all allowed our own opinions, so I have no problem with others liking her. That is the joy of BiP, we will all have different favorites and while I will be cheering on Tierra, others can be cheering on AshLee.

Count me in the group who do not really mind her. I am probably in the minority who likes Mike G from Des' season. I thought they might have made it, but I believe her needs overwhelmed him. She cozied up to the guys from Des' season, but nothing really "took" after Mike. I don't know who from this BIP cast I would pair her with.....maybe Ben, I'm not a big fan of his, but he is also from Texas as is she, and maybe more traditional and might be the guy who would take care of her. Although, he may not be wealthy enough for her tastes.

 :shy: Sorry to insert an unrelated question into the Ashlee bashing/defending conversations but could any of you tell me if the ladies on BIP are all above 27 years old or are any in the 25/26 (or younger) age group ?

TIA.
  

I think both Daniella (from Sean's season) and Danielle (from JP's season) are 26.

The younger potential contestants: Christy(25), Daniella(Sean)(25), Lacy (26), Lucy(26), Danielle(JP)(26), Tierra(26),