Re: Drew Kenney - Bachelorette 9 Contestant - Discussion - Thread #5

[SueSt]

When your search for true love continually leaves you empty and disappointed, it is best to analyze, do some self-searching, and then break your habits.  Being hurt in relationships eventually becomes an addiction, and you have everything to do with it.  I'm not sure, though, that young people have experienced enough to figure that out.

:-) so.... LLiza, does Des figure it out? and if so, who does she wind up with?? :-)

[Longhornfan]

For me the dilemma with Des and Drew is that her words do not match up with her actions. This is really the crux of the issue for me.  We have seen Des looking up adoringly at Drew's face and unable to take her eyes off him. We have seen her grab onto him and not let go. We have seen them with their fingers intertwined, which would be a sign of some intimacy, comfort level and affection.  She enjoys kissing him, for sure!  :Smiley: 

I think this is a real warning sign. Now a few reasons for this dissonance come to mind. First, since we know how edited and scripted this show has always been, is that they could have edited out comments from Des about Drew that would be more revealing and indicative of maybe falling for him. Second, it could be that Des is just infatuated with Drew. It's flattering to her ego to have this gorgeous guy romancing her and giving her all this attention. She may see him as a guy who is too hot for her or who would normally be out of her league. So it's a surface thing with her but not about love.  Third, it could be that Drew has been hidden so that we would see Brooks as the only frontrunner and hear it from Des herself.  Maybe he really is coming on strong.  

As nd said, CH did describe the HTD's as pivotal. That word has significant meaning. Taking this one word and seeing Drew's HTD, one would think that this is where he comes on strong and the hunk that also has a heart of gold and is always there for Des.

That's my two cents for now!         

Great post Native.  I'm inclined to think it's a combination.  I agree that Des is very attracted to Drew ... On the other hand, she's set her sights on Brooks... so she’s not willing to let him go at this point.  

Drew's HTD was so terrific and it was obvious to me that it made a really really positive impression on Des.  I found Drew's love declaration swoon-worthy... because he is feeling overwhelmed… for it to just come pouring out of him in such a way was sooo sweet and vulnerable, it literally made me catch my breath.   And physically Des' reaction was to shake her head yes and pull him in for a kiss…. So she’s definitely feeling it too.

My take on Des’ lack of verbal confirmation is that the thought of Drew is a bit overwhelming to Des… I mean he’s got it all, doesn’t he, good looks, good energy, good family AND he is willing to put it all out there that he loves her and wants her in his life.  I mean that’s overwhelming, right?  :-)   And from my experience, falling in love requires a willingness to experience a loss of control; that you are literally falling and depending on the other person to be there for you.  

So maybe in combination with an edit that’s trying to hide things, Des’s words/feelings haven’t yet caught up with what she’s experiencing… like it’s taking a little time for her spirit to catch up with her body… and she’s scared!   A feeling of  - yes, I felt it, but is that what I want?  So, she’s ‘retreating’ into her comfort zone… turning to the arms of a guy that she has to ‘chase’– the unattainable, the unavailable, which is certainly safer than what Drew’s offering…

It will be so interesting to see how this plays out… from my perspective the question is…  can Des open herself up to the loving man, Drew, or will she continue to chase the unavailable, Brooks…

This is interesting.  Chris H also mentioned something else in his article where he discussed the hometown dates as being very pivotal to the outcome of the finale .  CH said that with all of the other 3 guys openly expressing their love for Des, she continued to "chase" the one who had not completely opened up and expressed his feelings to her.  CH went on to say that "you would think that we would learn, but that that is just a cliche".  I am not sure if that is the exact wording, but he was basically saying that Des seemed to be repeating an old pattern by chasing the one guy who seemed to be unavailable.

So, I absolutely agree with your assessment above.  I have felt all along that Brooks is the kind of guy that Des has always been attracted to.  He is the one guy out of her F4 who she probably feels is unavailble emotionally and fears that perhaps will not love her back as much as she will love him.  Therefore, this could have caused Des to "retreat back into her comfort zone" and choose Brooks, because he does fit the mold.

So, I will not be the least bit surprised if Des does end up choosing Brooks at the very end.  It appears that Drew offered Des his heart on a platter....as did both Chris and Zak as well.  So, I am interested to see if Brooks does leave and come back, since that would seem appropriate to the edit that Brooks has been given.

ITA.
It will be interesting if she'll learn anything or continue her old pattern. Drew is what she needs. Brooks is what she wants.

This is what I am interested in seeing too. Has she learned anything? Also, I went back and looked at CH's exact words. He said "You would think that we would learn from our past MISTAKES, but that is just a cliche".

Mistakes, hmm?? That is a very interesting way to put it. That does open up the possibilty that Des COULD break the pattern and choose either Drew or Chris as her F1. I personally would love to see that happen. But, the sheer number of "spoilers" that say otherwise (and place Brooks as the F1) don't leave me very hopeful for a different outcome. But there is still a sliver of hope that we might get a surprise ending at the finale. I continue to hope that that is the case.

[SueSt]

For me the dilemma with Des and Drew is that her words do not match up with her actions. This is really the crux of the issue for me.  We have seen Des looking up adoringly at Drew's face and unable to take her eyes off him. We have seen her grab onto him and not let go. We have seen them with their fingers intertwined, which would be a sign of some intimacy, comfort level and affection.  She enjoys kissing him, for sure!  :Smiley: 

I think this is a real warning sign. Now a few reasons for this dissonance come to mind. First, since we know how edited and scripted this show has always been, is that they could have edited out comments from Des about Drew that would be more revealing and indicative of maybe falling for him. Second, it could be that Des is just infatuated with Drew. It's flattering to her ego to have this gorgeous guy romancing her and giving her all this attention. She may see him as a guy who is too hot for her or who would normally be out of her league. So it's a surface thing with her but not about love.  Third, it could be that Drew has been hidden so that we would see Brooks as the only frontrunner and hear it from Des herself.  Maybe he really is coming on strong.  

As nd said, CH did describe the HTD's as pivotal. That word has significant meaning. Taking this one word and seeing Drew's HTD, one would think that this is where he comes on strong and the hunk that also has a heart of gold and is always there for Des.

That's my two cents for now!         

Great post Native.  I'm inclined to think it's a combination.  I agree that Des is very attracted to Drew ... On the other hand, she's set her sights on Brooks... so she’s not willing to let him go at this point.  

Drew's HTD was so terrific and it was obvious to me that it made a really really positive impression on Des.  I found Drew's love declaration swoon-worthy... because he is feeling overwhelmed… for it to just come pouring out of him in such a way was sooo sweet and vulnerable, it literally made me catch my breath.   And physically Des' reaction was to shake her head yes and pull him in for a kiss…. So she’s definitely feeling it too.

My take on Des’ lack of verbal confirmation is that the thought of Drew is a bit overwhelming to Des… I mean he’s got it all, doesn’t he, good looks, good energy, good family AND he is willing to put it all out there that he loves her and wants her in his life.  I mean that’s overwhelming, right?  :-)   And from my experience, falling in love requires a willingness to experience a loss of control; that you are literally falling and depending on the other person to be there for you.  

So maybe in combination with an edit that’s trying to hide things, Des’s words/feelings haven’t yet caught up with what she’s experiencing… like it’s taking a little time for her spirit to catch up with her body… and she’s scared!   A feeling of  - yes, I felt it, but is that what I want?  So, she’s ‘retreating’ into her comfort zone… turning to the arms of a guy that she has to ‘chase’– the unattainable, the unavailable, which is certainly safer than what Drew’s offering…

It will be so interesting to see how this plays out… from my perspective the question is…  can Des open herself up to the loving man, Drew, or will she continue to chase the unavailable, Brooks…

This is interesting.  Chris H also mentioned something else in his article where he discussed the hometown dates as being very pivotal to the outcome of the finale .  CH said that with all of the other 3 guys openly expressing their love for Des, she continued to "chase" the one who had not completely opened up and expressed his feelings to her.  CH went on to say that "you would think that we would learn, but that that is just a cliche".  I am not sure if that is the exact wording, but he was basically saying that Des seemed to be repeating an old pattern by chasing the one guy who seemed to be unavailable.

So, I absolutely agree with your assessment above.  I have felt all along that Brooks is the kind of guy that Des has always been attracted to.  He is the one guy out of her F4 who she probably feels is unavailble emotionally and fears that perhaps will not love her back as much as she will love him.  Therefore, this could have caused Des to "retreat back into her comfort zone" and choose Brooks, because he does fit the mold.

So, I will not be the least bit surprised if Des does end up choosing Brooks at the very end.  It appears that Drew offered Des his heart on a platter....as did both Chris and Zak as well.  So, I am interested to see if Brooks does leave and come back, since that would seem appropriate to the edit that Brooks has been given.

ITA.
It will be interesting if she'll learn anything or continue her old pattern. Drew is what she needs. Brooks is what she wants.

This is what I am interested in seeing too.  Has she learned anything?  Also, I went back and looked at CH's exact words.  He said "You would think that we would learn from our past MISTAKES, but that is just a cliche".  

Mistakes, hmm??  That is a very interesting way to put it.  That does open up the possibilty that Des COULD break the pattern and choose either Drew or Chris as her F1.  I personally would love to see that happen.  But, the sheer number of "spoilers" that say otherwise (and place Brooks as the F1) don't leave me very hopeful for a different outcome.  But there is still a sliver of hope that we might get a surprise ending at the finale.  I continue to hope that that is the case.

Thanks Longhornfan... if CH said it's a cliche that we learn from mistakes in reference to Des... I agree that Des choosing anyone but Brooks is going to be a longshot.  She's admitted that she falls for the unavailable... which as it's been presented on the show is Brooks... if he does return and Des chooses him, based on MY experience, she will be setting up a situation where she'll always wonder if she forced him into the relationship and question his committment... not a good recipe for long term happiness...

[Jeepers]

Historically Des falls for the wrong guys .. What kind of guys are those??? .. Loves them more than they love her .. Doesn't mean Brooks is the wrong guy .. And in the end may love her as much as she loves him

CH Implies this at only a certain point in time...

[SueSt]

Historically Des falls for the wrong guys .. What kind of guys are those??? .. Loves them more than they love her .. Doesn't mean Brooks is the wrong guy .. And in the end may love her as much as she loves him

CH Implies this at only a certain point in time...

Totally agree, at this point in time, in my opinion, Brooks would not be a good choice since he's unsure.

[BarbB222]

Historically Des falls for the wrong guys .. What kind of guys are those??? .. Loves them more than they love her .. Doesn't mean Brooks is the wrong guy .. And in the end may love her as much as she loves him

CH Implies this at only a certain point in time...

True Jeepers and Brooks catchphrase is being on the same page. If he gets there and I have no doubt he will, he will love Des equally or more but not less.

[nd4reality]

My question is - why is CH talking about learning from our past mistakes after 4 seemily perfect HTDs ? Isn't he jumping the gun a bit.

And that bit about the wrong guys was a VO from Des while crying at some point. Hopefully she got herself a bit ole clue.

[2observe]

This is a new thread but someone (nd?) started a convo in the last thread about CH saying the HTD's episode was pivotal and led to the final outcome of the season. The question was what made that episode pivotal.

My answer is taken from Des' last blog, it was pivotal because that was when she "100% officially fell in love."

Love_me. might I suggest that we keep(if possible) maybe 3-4 pages from a previous thread when starting a new one? A lot of great conversations get lost in these transitions. Thanks and always grateful for all your efforts at keeping the board sane.

JC, I thought Des' "I'm in love with Brooks" declaration occurred before the Portugal RC.

[misticia]

My question is  - why is CH talking about learning from our past mistakes after 4 seemily perfect HTDs ? Isn't he jumping the gun a bit.

And that bit about the wrong guys was a VO from Des while crying at some point. Hopefully she got herself a bit ole clue.

I remember also a PI in a preview where she said crying "I deserve to be loved".

[misticia]

I would like to thank you Longhornfan, SueSt, Nativenewyorker, Ariela for your very interesting analysis. 

I repost here what I posted in another thead about the HTD in CH blog :

(the discussion begun about a mismatch between the FRC day (05/06) in L&S and the 1st spoiler giving Drew as F1 (05/07) "Drew will end up" instead of "Drew ends up").

Everything depends on what will happen with Brooks on the pier. Maybe CH and TPTB try to get us confused about how it will end up but they can't tell us things which are completly invented. So when CH wrote that the HTD is pivotal, I think it is. 
- on one side, a guy she is in love but who never said the 3 words, who is not sure about a proposal, a nice family but a little reserved about her (no one said her they would be happy to see her in).
- on the other side, a guy who is in love and said it, who talked about their likely future, who is caring and responsible (the disabled sister), a family who said her they would love she was in. And Drew did say he will propose.

Des said she chose always the wrong guy. If she is as down to earth as it said, she is going probably to question her connection to Brooks and see otherwise Drew. I think the weird twist, the drama, the TPTB blah blah is about that.

[julychild]

I love this thread and I am grateful I visited here first today! Unbiased, intelligent arguments and well articulated discussions such as this is one of the reasons why I keep coming back to the forum.   

[atem]

Actually, Brooks family did think she could 'fit in'.  Why do you think Nate said 'Thanks for not wasting our time?'.  She fit right in with the sarcasm and such.

All the families ended up thinking she'd fit in just fine.

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