Re: The Bachelor: Women Tell All - 3/04 - Discussion Thread

[Kwpn12]

I really think it was Catherine from the get go.


He knows he will keep her, date or no date. But first he needs to do a lot of duty dating to eliminate the women he's not into.
His dates with Catherine were all bonding dates, than testing the women/fear factor dates he had with a lot of them.

But somewhere along the way god/angels in heaven/the bible/Shay/his mom reminded him that Catherine and him do not play
on the same religious team and she has career aspirations (yaikks). Plus the production decided that Desiree is the right choice for him.. so he keeps on confusing himself.
Until the last moment.

His unrealisitc idealism about love plus religious conviction and advice from his sister (who has her own agenda) clouded his heart's decision
and he waffled and nearly got cold feet. Clearly he doesnt know the difference between what god wants for him and what he thinks god wants from him as interpreted by people who have selfish agenda or just want to baby him and postpone helping him grow as a MAN.

Catherine is his perfect match. I shake my head everytime he has to repeat his production fed over rehearsed lines that he was confused among multiple women. No you weren't, dumb boy you are unsure about how you will receive this gift given the limited emotional tool and experiences you have.
Too sheltered and too idealistic, of course he will be confused.
Sean is scared shitless that he has to get out from his comfort zone to meet someone half way in pursuit of a real relationship.

True love means you are not without fear but you are ready to be fearless. I'm afraid, Sean wants a smooth road without tests and a relationship where he doesn't need to be uncomfortable or give unrelenting and unwavering trust to someone. He wants it laid out on a silver platter amidst a beautiful banquet of approval from family, friends, public and religious beliefs. This beefy man needs to have the balls of iron to fight for a woman who seems ready to risk the world for him. You cannot expect to have what you cannot give. He needs to soul search to carry this relationship. But DWTS, proved to be a good distraction to postpone real work and really invest in this "relationship".

Agree, agree, AGREE! Pleased and so surprised that Sean had the guts and insight to pick Catherine. If he struggled along the way, it's because she was not what he thought he wanted. He will have to work hard to keep her though. He will have to compromise ... maybe even rethink his insistence on remaining in Dallas. One thing's for certain. If it doesn't work out, he will miss this girl.

[Guest]

Catherine loves to dance. Anyone wonders if she is the one who made the final decision for him to do it?

Sean wont have to leave Dallas Catherine said she is pretty much expired from Seattle in the last show.

[Guest]

Right! Love me, Des will be the next lead, that was a great preformance that she and her brother put on, come the dude smiling at the same time. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one. I think she will be the best one from this season.

Come on people stop believing everything that come out of the lead's mouth. TPTB definitely changed it up this season big time Don't you know that they know we look for patterns.

LMAO! Agreed. She reminds me of a less attractive version of Katie Holmes and a prettier version of Maggie Gyllenhaal. Sucks that I only remember her bc she reminds me of them but I'm sure she'll be delightful.

Regarding Sean's season, I know they have a narrative to push, "I was falling for multiple women" but it felt like he could have chosen any of the final 4 and been okay with it. It was weird but I guess you could argue the same for past seasons too, oh well.

[Kwpn12]

Catherine loves to dance. Anyone wonders if she is the one who made the final decision for him to do it?

Sean wont have to leave Dallas Catherine said she is pretty much expired from Seattle in the last show.

But Catherine said that while in The Bachelor bubble. Her friends, her job, her mother (I think?) and her history are in Seattle. And Seattle is a very hip, young city. Dallas will be a major culture shock for a free-spirited vegan! Not saying it's impossible, just that I'm sure it will be harder for her to leave than she made it sound in Thailand.

[Guest]

Since she said that Seattle is expired, the free spirit is ready for another adventure.

There are vegans in Dallas. Lots of them. one of them... [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Googling, I found lots of creative things that could interest Catherine.

[ImeldaMarcos]

I have a friend who owns two vegan restaurants in Dallas..very happening vegan scene. Raw vegan also.

[Kwpn12]

Since she said that Seattle is expired, the free spirit is ready for another adventure.

There are vegans in Dallas. Lots of them. one of them... [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Googling, I found lots of creative things that could interest Catherine.

I hope you're right. I do think it would be a difficult transition though.

[jcrbil]

As someone who's moved a fair amount as an adult- from Los Angeles, to the New York area, to the Boston area, to now Chicago- and facing another move this year.... and knowing MANY other who have made even bigger moves internationally the most important part of the whole thing is attitude. If you can approach it as an adventure AND with the idea that you're jumping in with both feet, generally the move is a success- no matter how big the change.

[moonchild]

I don't know if I agree that it was Catherine from the beginning but I definitely think he was interested in her from the beginning and still pursued her even though he wasn't getting anything back from her at first. As early as St Croix his body language was showing that it was Catherine and not any of the others. He told us in Canada that he had become discouraged by some of the goings on in Montana and had almost lost faith that he would find love on his "journey"......that it was his date with Catherine that gave him hope that he could find love. If he was falling for any of the others at that point why would he be loosing faith in the process?

Every single season except for two (Ali and Emily, because they let their F2's go early), we have heard the lead say on the morning of the FRC that have finally found resolution and know who will be their choice and fuss over the difficult task of having to let someone that they care deeply about go. Up until that point they just can't make up their mind and are afraid of making a mistake. And every single time, we know that wasn't true.

It is Sean's job to keep the women vested in the process. In order to do that he has to give them attention and make them feel special and make them feel that there was something special between them. If not, they start reading between the lines and opting out on their own leaving production with no show. That almost happened with Ashley's season being that Constantine was her F3 and they had about as much interest and respect for each other as sheep farmers and cattle farmers. Des came close in Montana when she started questioning what was going on when Daniella saw Catherine sitting on Sean's lap outside. He had to start scurrying to reassure her at that point. It isn't pretty and he probably didn't know that was what it would take to be the lead. But, I think most of the time he said things that could be interpreted different ways. Like, we have something unique.......he could have meant that she was the only one he could talk sports to, but she interpreted it to mean something different. I'm not defending him, I'm just saying that is the way this show works. Every single season the lead gets blasted for leading someone on and breaking their heart and it's just the nature of the show and has to be that way to whittle down to one final choice.

As far as Catherine moving to Dallas, I live in Houston and all of my family lives in Dallas. Dallas is more cutting edge that you might guess. I can see her fitting in there nicely and liking it. Sean seems to be incredibly happy since the filming of the show. It will not be easy transitioning from the bubble into RL, but if they are BOTH committed to making it work, I think they have a shot.

[Marta in FL]

Since she said that Seattle is expired, the free spirit is ready for another adventure.

There are vegans in Dallas. Lots of them. one of them... [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Googling, I found lots of creative things that could interest Catherine.

I hope you're right. I do think it would be a difficult transition though.

Do you know her well enough to say it would be a difficult transition? If you are speaking from your perspective, then I get that you may think it would be difficult, but I honestly do not think we know her well enough to make that prediction!

[Kwpn12]

Since she said that Seattle is expired, the free spirit is ready for another adventure.

There are vegans in Dallas. Lots of them. one of them... [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Googling, I found lots of creative things that could interest Catherine.

I hope you're right. I do think it would be a difficult transition though.

Do you know her well enough to say it would be a difficult transition? If you are speaking from your perspective, then I get that you may think it would be difficult, but I honestly do not think we know her well enough to make that prediction!

No, I don't know her. Just an opinion/observation. Like everyone else here, I could very well be wrong.

[Catdwoman50]

I thought the contestants the lead had the strongest feelings for got 2nd dates.

That's possibly been true but I think it may depend on how The Bachelor wants to run his show. Some bachelors might request (and be given) multiple 1-1 dates because they like a particular woman and another might request multiple dates because they have questions and want more time with certain women to get them answered.

It's a bit unusual that this season Sean had only one 1-1 date with both of his final two women which suggests that he might have had the most confidence in / least doubts about those two for some time and used second 1-1 dates to make sure he didn't make a mistake in letting someone else go earlier.

I completely get what you're saying and I thought that was the case but it just doesn't make sense. Time is valuable during this process, why would you want to keep spending time with people you're unsure about? If the dates can last up to 12 hours, wouldn't you want to spend as much time as possible with the ones you like/are falling for VS the ones you're unsure about?

It almost felt like he liked ALL the women and eliminated them based on when he didn't like them anymore. So by process of elimination, obviously there would only be two people left. But it wasn't like he pursued them (they weren't "the ones"), but rather, they were just the last two left. Does this make sense?

Maybe I should have just kept watching from a distance. I started looking up Sean interview clips and it made me a little sad about how open he was about falling in love with multiple women, up until, basically the end of the show. If you were Catherine, how would you feel about that?! Maybe the bachelors are just terrible decision makers when it comes to love; they push it to the very end. The bachelorettes on the other hand, at least from my memory, knew who their "final one" was before the meet the parents/final date.

What happened to all the old members? I only recognize albeen, Alanna, Love_me and Sanlee.

I get you. It seems like he really wasn't sure and we shouldn't put too much stock on this engagement. Sean needed to have stopped his elimination process when he fell in love. Falling in love with two women doesn't resonate well with me. Im sure as it is with others. Either I believe his sincerity all the way or that he was acting to finish the show. Idk I am so confused, I seem to go through these cycles this season. Excuse me while I go to the bathroom now and cry.

I think that Sean may prove to have been a classic example of "we met on the show, fell in love after." Or never really fell in love at all ... I'm not sure he really knew at the time of the FRC. I think when he says he fell in love with multiple women, you have to translate that into "I was attracted to" multiple women. I think he is a guy who needs some time to figure out how he feels about someone. So maybe he started with some of his strongest attractions and/or women he thought by type and background he ought to like, and then tried to evaluate each one, one at a time. Sometimes a guy doesn't really know what he needs and wants until he gets to it, and I think that is normal. Because Catherine is so different from him, he probably was downplaying his connection to her in his own mind for a while, as he got to know the other women who appeared to fit his list better, and had a chance to compare how each made him feel on multiple levels. The way he lights up around her seems to be very real, but we all know that attraction is not enough: you've got to mesh on thousands of small details.

More than anyone, I think both Sean and Catherine took a huge leap of faith with the proposal and engagement. Without the show, no way would they have taken that step. Without the show, they would have known there was lust and that they felt "something," but they wouldn't have been ready to put a name on it. The show forced a label that they might not otherwise have been ready to add, even if in the back of their minds they were thinking it was meant to be.

They really are going to need to spend some real world time to know if they can work. It seems to me that they are cute together, and bring something unexpected to each other, but who knows if that means they are meant to be. Falling in love the way you and I think of the term doesn't happen on the show; it has to wait until after.

I actually like that Sean seems to have stayed open to the possibilities with women he might have been tempted to eliminate earlier for some assumed reason. It seems more real life to me.

First off, thanks for letting me have my moment. I was being facetious there with my dramatic post, that I needed a bathroom moment (ala Cat - did she say ladies room?). Again sometimes dry humor doesn't cross the asynchronous wires very well. I really had to take my 2 busy travel-sports kids places - hence the silence. Honestly though, I had a little moment of skeptism there but enough to keep me grounded. My reply is longer than I had planned so I am posting separately on F1 Thread.

[Sponsored content]