Body Language Analysis - The Bachelorette 8 - Discussion

How to Read Women's Body Language for Flirting


1 Watch her fingers carefully.

If she pushes her fingers through her hair, she is looking to get your attention. The way she touches her hair is also very important. It tells you information about her temperament. If she does it slowly, you have encountered a cunning expert of the art of love. Quick, nervy movements disclose impatience or embarrassment.
If she touches the edge of the glass with her fingers, Freudian psychologists often interpret it as a sexual sign. This theory is supported by the women themselves, who claim that they deliberately pet the glass, in order to call the chosen man’s attention upon themselves. Elegant, caressing movement is a sign of intrinsic calmness, self-control and waiting, so sit by her. Her beating a rhythm on the glass with her nails is a sign of impatience or a broad hint of SOS, which she’s sending to her boyfriend, who is fighting for another Bailey’s at the bar.

2 Note any physical contact.

If she touches you in any manner, this is almost always a good sign, with the exception of the event in which she is striking you and telling you to get out. If she is lightly touching you on the arm while laughing, or in general just finding any way she can to touch you, bump into you, or grab you, then she is almost certainly interested.

3 Check out her hands and arms.

If she leans on her hand with her chin and her eyes seem to be thinking, it’s not always the sign of her being impressed by your appearance. Generally, the woman tries to answer her own question this way: "Does this guy deserve me?" You know the answer, but the lady needs time. If you want to help her make the only right decision, be politely determinate and determinately polite. Flash your sense of humor as well.
If she sits back with her arms crossed together, she may be uncomfortable with her weight or she might be annoyed. This is the worst possible thing you can encounter when out hunting. This gesture is evidence of the fact that you’ve made the worst impression of all on the woman and she doesn’t trust you at all. Nothing helps here, neither refined jokes, nor nice, muscular body. The only thing that MAY help in this situation is to pull back away from her: Lean back, and lean away. Turn away from her if you cannot lean back. Show her that you're not interested in her. Turn back and smile to her if she is opening up, do it progressively. Tell her that you'll have to go soon, and sit/stand there talking with her. Let her see that you're charming to other people, talk with other woman/people, let her miss you. If this is the case, maybe she'll come back.
The way the woman herself thinks of her hands is also very important. If she stares at them for a very long time, it may imply that likes you and is nervous. If she is very shy, she will not be able to look at you. another reason for this behavior is that something angers her (perhaps you?). If she beats the rhythm on the table or the bar means a similar state of mind.

4 Look at the lips.

If a woman wets her lips quite frequently, it’s either out of habit or desire to get you to pay attention to her lips and sooner or later kiss her.

When a woman is biting her lips, do not interrupt her – everything’s alright. But sometimes, when she’s biting them, you may assume that she’s nervous. Why? Perhaps you are staring at her too inquisitively, or she is subtly flirting with you.

5 Eye the eyes.

According to famous experts of the topic and authors of cheap romantic stories, the fast movement of the eye-lashes is the sign of women who like to conquer men of their own accord. Besides, they are emancipated, who like to take over the duty of initiation. They aren’t waiting for your jokes and wide smile. They undertake to initiate. The only problem with such ladies is that not all of them will enjoy herself in the role of the doped out game. But if you don’t mind losing the role of the hunter, swallow the bait. Also, note her pupils. Basic biology tells us that when we like something (or someone) our pupils expand (dilate). When we don't like something, they contract. If her pupils are big, it may be a sign that she likes you, or likes what you're saying. On the other hand, if her pupils are small and pointed, it may be a bad sign. However, this method isn't foolproof. If it is really bright outside pupils contract naturally, regardless and if you are somewhere darker, they naturally dilate.

6 Check out the legs.

Researchers of body language emphasize that when a woman frequently crosses her legs or let them swing, is also a sexually charged movement. The strongest of all these movements is when she opens her legs without meaning it. It’s a classical Freudian opening symbol. A contrary sign to this is when she puts her legs together.

7 Look at her feet.

If her feet are pointed at you, this means she is interested in you. But, if not, tell her something that will catch her attention.

Tips

- Check to see if she turns away quickly when you turn to her direction: this can be a bad sign, or she just doesn't want you to catch her looking at you. This is often called "eye tag."

- You can also try the clock trick. Look abruptly at the clock, then back at her, unless you were watching her from the corner of your eye. Any object works for this. If she was looking where you were looking, she was probably watching you. But beware, she might have thought you saw something dangerous or interesting and wanted to find out what it was.

- Don't look directly at the parts, look with peripheral vision. It's when concentrating on one thing, but looking at another.

Warnings

- Not all women have the same body language! Not all women correspond well; it may be due to shyness or any other cause.

- Refrain from assuming that seemingly sexual gestures mean the girl wants you. If you make advances and she's not looking for that, things will probably not end well.

- Also, do not stare at the woman's cleavage if she has it partially exposed. Some men, when talking to a "sexy" woman, have a very bad habit of doing that. Any woman will take offense when she notices that your eyes are wavering (especially on the very first date). Try to resist the temptation!

- Small talk is the key. Don't talk about your past previous relationships or a three hour talk about your job. Get her to do most of the talking, so she'll think you're a good listener. Alternatively, some of us prefer it when a man takes the lead of a conversation. Try to find things you have in common, and casually mention them. Most of us are unimpressed with sports and video games. (Hint, hint.) Try animals, books, music, theme parks, rollercoasters, colors, nature, movies, be careful with TV shows, unless you both love it. Comedy works really well here, so try making funny faces, imitating people (not too offensively, unless you know for a fact she hates them, doing funny voices,and acting a little clumsy, but make it known you are acting shows her you know how to have a good time.) Inside jokes make great fillers for awkward pauses, but don't use the same one all the time if she seems to think it's getting old.

How to Read Men's Body Language for Flirting

1 Observe the way he greets you. If his face lights up almost every time you two make eye contact this means that he is really happy to be with you once again.

2 Watch or feel for his eyes repeatedly looking towards you. This is the way a man unintentionally seems to wander like the mind does to look at what is on his mind at that moment.

3 Whenever a man tells a joke within your hearing range he will look to see if you are laughing. A man does this because they love to make the woman they admire to laugh and he also checks to see that there might be the slightest chance that you are interested in him as well.

4 Observe how he is around others. The way a guy treats you compared to his friends will be on a much more respectful scale.

5 Take careful watch when he is standing near you. He may try to move in closer when you don't seem to be watching to test if you feel comfortable around him.

6 When sitting in a room with him, either in a group or alone together, he will most likely, if nothing is distracting him from you, sit facing you with with legs spread apart and leaning back giving a relaxed composure. This type of body language could mean that he is simply relaxed around you or he wants to set the tone for the conversation which is laid back and not nerve racking as you might be in the moment.

7 Whenever you observe the body language of man try to compare it to what you do, a man is not all that hard to decipher if they are being natural with their body movements. If that fails then just ask around or even better ask what that man means when they use a body movement.

Tips

Not many people really do know what they are trying to portray through their body language. My best advice is to just go with the flow and stop questioning everything that crosses your path.

Noticing the signals that people send out with their body language is a very useful social skill. Some of us can read it naturally and some of us are notoriously oblivious. Fortunately, with a little extra attentiveness, you can learn to read body language, and with enough practice it'll become second nature.

It's easy to spot a confident person: they will make prolonged eye contact and have a strong posture. They may also sit or stand very cricked. Long eye contact can also be found in lovers' or families eyes.

If a person talks at a fast rate and mumbles or isn't clear on what they are saying they could be nervous or might be lying, trying to stall for time, or not telling the full truth (being vague). Be aware that some people do actually mumble.

Watch the face - it will usually give off a quick involuntary and sometimes subconscious twitch when something happens that irritates, excites, or amuses them.

Observing in context is key to understanding body language.

Keep in mind that each person has their own unique body language called baseline behaviors.

When observing others, be subtle about it.

Pay special attention to changes in body language rather than the body language itself.

If a person looks up at the sky, or to the sides they are usually thinking about you.

Some people touch their face and/or play with their hair when they are flirting.

When a person closes his/her eyes longer than the time it takes to blink, that usually means that he/she is feeling stress, alarm, or despair (although it could mean that their contacts are dry, this will sometimes be accompanied by rubbing of the eye).

When a person licks their lips its a sign of liking you.


Warnings

Do not judge a person solely by their body language.

Don't isolate yourself by constantly examining body language when interacting with people. Otherwise, there is no reason to gain a social upper hand anyway. This is paralysis by analysis.

Do not spend too much time looking at and analyzing the other person's body language. Try to look at their face while you are talking to them.

How to Detect Lies

Watching facial expressions in order to determine whether a person is lying might just save you from being a victim of fraud, or it could help you figure out when somebody's being genuine. Jury analysts do this when assisting in jury selection. The police do this during an interrogation. You have to learn the little facial and body expressions that can help you distinguish a lie from the truth.

Observe Their Face

1 Look for microexpressions. Microexpressions are facial expressions that flash on a person's face for a fraction of a second and reveal the person's true emotion underneath their facade. Some people may be naturally sensitive to them, but almost anybody can easily train to be able to detect microexpressions. Typically, in a person who is lying, their microexpression will exhibit the emotion of distress, characterized by the eyebrows being drawn upwards towards the middle of the forehead. This sometimes causing short lines to appear across the forehead skin.

2 Check for sweating. People tend to sweat more when they lie. [1] However, this is not always a reliable indication of lying. Some people may sweat a lot more just because of nervousness or shyness.

3 Notice the person's eye movements. You can usually tell if a person is remembering something or making something up based on their eye movements. When someone is remembering details, their eyes move to the right (your right). When someone is making something up, their eyes move to the left. People also tend to blink more rapidly as they're telling a lie.
Contrary to popular belief, a liar does not always avoid eye contact. Humans naturally break eye contact and look at non-moving objects to help them focus and remember. Liars may deliberately make eye contact to seem more sincere.

4 Watch their throat. A person may constantly be trying to lubricate their throat when they lie by swallowing or clearing their throat to relieve the tension built up.


5 Notice the behavior of other body parts. Watch their hands, arms and legs, which tend to be limited, stiff, and self-directed when the person is lying. Their hands may touch their face ear, or the back of the neck.
Keep in mind that these signals may be a sign of nervousness and not a sign of deceit. They might not necessarily be nervous because they're lying.

Notice Their Verbal Responses

1 Pay attention to their voice. A person's voice can also be a good lie indicator. They may suddenly start talking faster or slower than normal, or their tension may result in a higher-pitched speaking tone.

2 Mind exaggerated details. See if they are telling you too much. An example might be, "My mom is living in France, isn't it nice there? Don't you like the Eiffel tower? It's so clean there." Too many details may tip you off to their desperation to get you to believe them.

3 Be aware of their impulsive emotional responses. Timing and duration tends to be off when someone is lying. If you ask someone a question and they respond directly after the question, there is a chance that the person is lying. This can be because they have rehearsed the answer or they're already thinking about the answer just to get it over with.

4 Pay close attention to the person's reaction to your questions. A liar will often feel uncomfortable and turn their head or body away, or even subconsciously put an object between the two of you. Also, while an innocent person would go on the offensive (usually responding with anger, which will usually be revealed in a microexpression directly after you say you don't believe them), a guilty person will often go immediately on the defensive (usually by saying something to reassure their facts, such as deflections).
Listen for a subtle delay in responses to questions. An honest answer comes quickly from memory. Lies require a quick mental review of what they have told others to avoid inconsistency and to make up new details as needed. However, when people look up to remember things, it does not necessarily mean that they are lying.

5 Be conscious of their usage of words. Verbal expression can give many clues as to whether a person is lying, such as:

Using/repeating your own exact words when answering a question
Avoiding use of contractions
Vocal pitch rising
Avoiding direct statements or answers (deflections)
Speaking excessively in an effort to convince
Speaking in a monotonous tone, speaking with a jumpy tone, or allowing pitch to rise and fall unnaturally
Leaving out pronouns (he, she, it, etc.)
Speaking in muddled sentences
Using humor and sarcasm to avoid the subject
Allowing silence to enter the conversation
Pausing at an unusual time, such as in the middle of a sentence

6 Notice when the person repeats sentences. If the suspect uses almost the exact same words over and over, then it's probably a lie. When a person makes up a lie, he often tries to remember a certain phrase or sentence that sounds convincing. When asked to explain the situation again, the liar will use the very same 'convincing' sentence again.

Establish Methods to Detect Lying

1 Stare at them with a look of disbelief. If they're lying, they will become uncomfortable. If they're telling the truth, they will usually become angry or just frustrated (lips pressed together, brows down, upper eyelid tensed and pulled down to glare).

2 Establish a base line. A base line is what someone acts like when they are not lying. You have to get a base line before you proceed with anything. To establish a baseline, you need to see the person when they aren't lying. Try asking what their name is and what they do for a living.

3 Learn to recognize deflections. Usually, when people are lying, they will tell stories that are true, but are deliberately aimed at not answering the question you asked. If a person responds to the question "Did you ever hit your wife?" with an answer such as, "I love my wife, why would I do that?", the suspect is technically telling a truth, but they are avoiding answering your original question. This may indicate that they are lying or trying to conceal something from you.

4 Follow through. If you have the means, check the validity of what the liar is saying. A skilled liar might give some reason why you shouldn't talk to the person who could confirm or deny a story. These are probably lies themselves, so it might be worthwhile overcoming your reluctance and to check with the person you've been warned against.

Tips

The more you get to know someone, the better you will become at recognizing their thinking style and the better you will become at knowing when they may be straying from the truth.
Some of the behaviors of a liar listed above also coincide with those of an extremely shy person, who might not be lying at all.
Some of the behaviors may also occur when somebody is very concentrated on speaking (for example, when the topic is sophisticated or the person is stressed).
Botox or other plastic surgery may also interfere with 'tells' and give false positives.
Some people may have reputations for lying; keep this in mind, but don't let it mask your opinions all the time. You have to take it on a case-by-case basis.
Some people are extremely experienced or even professional liars. He or she has told their made up story so many times that they are actually believable, getting all their days, dates and times down perfectly! Sometimes, you may need to simply accept that you can't catch every lie all the time.
Many of the signs that a person is lying are also signs that they are simply nervous. This can especially be the case if they are uncomfortable with the subject they are talking about.
If someone is being accused of lying, they may become defensive. This may seem like they are lying, but they are just shocked to be put at the center of attention unexpectedly.
Most people tell the truth most of the time and will cherish their reputation. Liars will "sail close to the wind" - they'll artificially bolster their reputation so that they seem more credible or desirable than they actually are.
A liar might use objects around them to help put detail into their lies. For example, there might be a pen on the table and then they will include a pen in their story. Make sure you watch for body gestures, eye movement and facial expressions. This can all give away hints that he or she could be lying.

Warnings

Be careful of how often you appraise others' truthfulness. If you are always looking for lies, people may avoid you. (See Cope With Having No Friends.)
Remember that eye contact is considered rude in some cultures, so this may explain why they are reluctant to look at you in the eye consistently.
Some people with developmental disabilities like Autism or Asperger's syndrome are very reluctant to make eye contact or do not make eye contact at all. This is a trait of the Autism spectrum and not a sign of dishonesty. Also, some people like to stare at you eye-to-eye.
Forcing a smile is often just an attempt to be polite; don't take this personally. If someone fakes a smile for you, it can also mean that they want to make a good impression on you because they value you as a person and are showing respect.
Someone who is deaf or hard-of-hearing may need to watch your mouth instead of your eyes in order to lip read or better understand what you are saying.

Wow.. This thread is so quiet.. Or am I missing something?

Just want to note the small moment after Em gives Jef the group date rose in episode 4.
He jokes with the zipper, and is beaming bc he is SO happy. In that moment Emily gives a glance to the other guys as if to so,"oh my god, Jef's so cute...". I feel like she goofed there,...she let her feelings be known a little too much.

Maybe I am just reading it too much, but would love your thoughts on this....

I thought that moment was so cute!

The whole problem with discussing body language here is that we don't have many SHORT videos at our fingertips of Emily with Sean, Ryan, Doug and Chris to compare with Jef. We are slowly getting some with Arie. It would be nice to see shorter clips instead of watching the full episodes at abc.com.

We could start with some Brad season stuff... the Emily back then will resemble the one today.