Jillian Harris & Justin Pasutto - Bachelorette 5 - Discussion

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:I hope she didn't feel like she had to have a baby ASAP because of her age, if she was/is hoping for marriage. How long has she been with Justin? 

IMO.

I think 4-5 years, it's very sad to me. I do think she had a baby because she's 36 and now is the time. Oh well. Hope he's worth it to give up her dreams and hopes of marriage, and she does get a little one so maybe it's all okay.

Alanna wrote:

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:I hope she didn't feel like she had to have a baby ASAP because of her age, if she was/is hoping for marriage. How long has she been with Justin? 

IMO.

I think 4-5 years, it's very sad to me. I do think she had a baby because she's 36 and now is the time. Oh well. Hope he's worth it to give up her dreams and hopes of marriage, and she does get a little one so maybe it's all okay.

Yeah. Maybe he'll eventually propose..? Kids aren't a guarantee unfortunately, while marriage is..so it's best to try for it while you still can.

IMO.

I feel like if it hasn't happened now then it's never going to happen. JMO.

There's no bigger commitement with/to somebody than having a child with them IMO. That's why the baby is usually AFTER the marriage. You're kind of guaranteed to be stuck with that person for at least 18 years. Marriage is NOTHING compared to that. I don't get why some guys don't see that..

IMO.

In his IG post announcing their pregnancy he said something along the linea of Jilly would just loose a ring if he got her one.    That may be true, but I don't think that means he shouldn't get her one or that she might not want one.

While I do think Jilly wants or at least wanted marriage in the past, unfortunately a ring, vows and document still doesn't guarantee they'd stay together any longer than they would unmarried.  Sadly, divorce rates are high.  Overall and as a whole, they seem happy so maybe this arrangement works for them.  Maybe this is her HEA even though it's not the traditional way or way she once wanted.  

Not necessarily what I'd want or what I'd like for her, but it's her life... She's the one who has to live it. JMO

Relationships are so complex and IMO men are even more complex. 
If Jilly wants a child, really wants one and can afford raising one financially, then I say go for it. She's 36. IMO it is harder raising a child when you are older than younger. 
Hopefully, her man will stay in her life and be there for her. 
However, I do think something is not right there. Usually after that amount of time, they know. 
IMO children makes a relationship more stressful, not less stressful. SO I guess--farts will smell.

Do we know if she's having a boy or girl and when she's due?

She's due in August. If she does know gender, she hasn't said. Though I think her nursery design screams girl, so that's my guess. I could be wrong.

I feel sad for her too. I'm glad she's getting a baby and isn't wasting the rest of her childbearing years with this little man child, though. But I still feel sad for her if the marriage is what she wanted. And I also feel badly for the child. Yes, relationships are complex, and if this is the situation they want, and they are happy with the relationship, good on them! But kids are simple, and the child will probably want mommy and daddy married. That probably sounds very 1950's. But my old co worker had an arrangement like this with her partner. Two kids, not married, but commited and living as a family. Her boys started questioning why they weren't married pretty relentlessly by age like 3 or 4. They eventually got married officially for their boys, not so much for them, because for them, it wasn't a big deal, but clearly important for their children.

In other news, I'm seriously IMPRESSED some of you can sift through this girl's relentless snaps!! Holy crap. I tried following her for a few days, because I used to be such a fan. She makes a new snap like every 3 minutes! Too much! I can't. How did you guys manage to sift through her constant updates to get to the ring shot? That takes perseverance!!

I honestly don't think marriage is that important to kids, if their parents weren't married to begin with. Mostly because that's all they know. It's usually only when there's a divorce involved where I think the kids can be pretty upset and angry.

IMO.

^^ Just going off my co worker's experience. It was important to her kids. Maybe they were the exception to the rule. I'm sure not every situation is the same.

She snaps so much that I skim through very quickly, but I've gotten the impression that they don't live together. Is that right? I see more of her dog Nacho Cilantro than Justin.

sosleepy wrote:^^ Just going off my co worker's experience. It was important to her kids. Maybe they were the exception to the rule. I'm sure not every situation is the same.

I understand. I'm just basing my opinion off all the people I know that are NOT married and have kids. Didn't matter to any of them. They were only affected when their parents decided to split up.

IMO.