Bachelor 25 - Matt James - Mar 15 (Finale) - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

I feel for Matt. No way did he sign up for all the stuff that came his way. The fact he didn't propose made me like him even more. But Matt should be proud of the man he is and thank his family for supporting him the way they did. I wish a fairy godmother would give the family a very nice home in a warm, tropical location for a month so they can all just decompress and put some distance between the show and their lives.

Matt looked broken to me last night - the fact he kept up his commitment to the contract to make an appearance is testament to his character. I just wanted to hug him and tell him he's a solid human.

BTW, did anyone else notice how much Emmanuel Acho enjoyed talking to Michelle last night during the closing credits? It was if Katie wasn't even there - I don't think he even glanced her way. I'm shipping EA and Michelle!

@Norcalgal And I think Michelle was enjoying him as well!

"The conversations that are taking place are more important than anything I could have left with." when Michael asked him if he had regrets about how the season turned out.

The ATFR didn't have my full attention because of real life, but why was Matt so stoic, as if Rachel was poison or something. It took him forever to respond to questions. I'm not sticking up for her in any way because I don't care for her, but he was really standoffish towards her and IMO there was no need for that.

Why could he not just speak up, say how he feels and be a voice for all that he believes in. The few minutes here and there that I watched, he looked like he was going to be sick and wasn't saying much of anything.

I just felt like he looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole whereas he missed an opportunity to tell his side of the story. JMO

Rachel's hand holding and hand on his knees to me was just her showing viewers how compassionate she is which for me wasn't genuine one bit.

GuardianAngel wrote:The ATFR didn't have my full attention because of real life, but why was Matt so stoic, as if Rachel was poison or something. It took him forever to respond to questions. I'm not sticking up for her in any way because I don't care for her, but he was really standoffish towards her and IMO there was no need for that.  

Why could he not just speak up, say how he feels and be a voice for all that he believes in. The few minutes here and there that I watched, he looked like he was going to be sick and wasn't saying much of anything.

I just felt like he looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole whereas he missed an opportunity to tell his side of the story. JMO

Rachel's hand holding and hand on his knees to me was just her showing viewers how compassionate she is which for me wasn't genuine one bit.

IMO, I felt that Matt was there because he was obligated to be. His body language and response led me to think there was so much more and he didn't want to disclose less he comes across as an angry Black man which wouldn't play well at all. He said if himself... As a Black man, he felt the need to be a certain way because IMO THIS IS AMERICA.
Try this on for size. Imagine a Black man's condemnation for the behaviour of a white woman and put that against the disingenuous display of compassion by a white woman. I betcha, the white woman would get more of a sympathetic response.

@Idlemess ITA with you but that's what I'm trying to say.

Having a rational diplomatic conversation with her spilling the details on how he felt would have a much better look rather than retreating and not saying much. jmo

My thought while I watched off and on was he was coached and not by TPTB, to not give them anything.

I hope he can move on, and seriously get the help he needs. The constant blame on his father is not an indication of a stable confident young man. That was awful that they aired the segment.

Maybe Matt was acting standoffish and hurt because that is how he genuinely felt. This season was boring and a waste of time but I can't help but feel defensive when the conversation on social media has now become less about holding Rachael accountable for her actions and more about how Matt reacted towards her in a way that isn't accommodating enough (it's so twisted that he's now getting hate while she is being praised.) IMO, he was perfectly entitled to behave the way he did and the onus should not be on him to have to explain or to have a conversation or anything. I'm sure that the only reason he was even at AFTR was because it's a contractual obligation. All JMO

https://youtu.be/f859tpIMbCg

GuardianAngel wrote:The ATFR didn't have my full attention because of real life, but why was Matt so stoic, as if Rachel was poison or something. It took him forever to respond to questions. I'm not sticking up for her in any way because I don't care for her, but he was really standoffish towards her and IMO there was no need for that.  

Why could he not just speak up, say how he feels and be a voice for all that he believes in. The few minutes here and there that I watched, he looked like he was going to be sick and wasn't saying much of anything.

I just felt like he looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole whereas he missed an opportunity to tell his side of the story. JMO

Rachel's hand holding and hand on his knees to me was just her showing viewers how compassionate she is which for me wasn't genuine one bit.

I think the way you describe Matt’s demeanour just shows how hurt he was by everything that happened & neither Rachael nor Emmanuel made the situation easier for him. I don’t want to be too harsh on Emmanuel, it was his first time in this type of situation & imo of course TPTB wanted to frame ATFR in a certain way & Emmanuel was just their vehicle for that, they don’t really care about Matt. But I thought it was inappropriate of Emmanuel to ask them to share a final embrace. It put Matt in a bad position because after that conversation & revisiting his hurt from how everything played out, he clearly wasn’t in a place emotionally where he wanted to hug Rachael. & Rachael says she loves him but never came to Matt’s defense, never put on an understanding/supportive front. She just guilt tripped him and touched him repeatedly, not respecting his boundaries.

To me, last night Matt looked like a person who was really struggling. I think with the controversy of racism and the bigger conversation of how it plays a role in the franchise, & then within society, with Rachael’s redemption arc, Chris Harrison & Rachel Lindsay with that whole aspect, I think Matt’s personal feelings have gotten lost in the chaos. Even today, I watched people rehash last night on entertainment shows, and in articles, & Matt’s emotions & mental health are either glossed over or not acknowledged at all. I think Matt’s put up a good front on social media but when I watched him last night, he just did not look ok.

All jmo.

One thing that I appreciated about ATFR was seeing how Michelle was so totally over Matt. She went from stars in her eyes on her LCD, to a crumpled mess after the breakup, to being able to sass Matt for kissing with his eyes open and responding, "Thank you for sharing that" to whatever deeply felt thing she was disclosing to him. I've come to think of that as the "righteous anger" part of a breakup where you come to realize that you deserve far better than what you got. I admire that, because I think it can be very hard to get to that place -- hard, but often necessary. It could not have been lost on her that Matt rapidly abandoned her at the breakup without much in the way of explanation. And she also had to witness the blowup surrounding Matt's final pick, which I'm sure complicated her feelings. She might have been justified in thinking, her, but not me? Are you serious?

I liked seeing that side of her. I know that she is sweet, generous, kind, and warm-hearted. But I liked seeing her show some spirit and sass, and I think that bodes very well for her season.