Bachelor 25 - Matt James - Mar 15 (Finale) - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

Let's be real even if Rachael did not have the scandal it would not have lasted he wanted more fame he is not ready for a commitment he needs therapy jmo

I really feel for Matt.  I think that he did want to find someone, but was overestimating his ability to be ready to propose at the end. I think TPTB really threw him for a loop with their manipulating and he is hurting.  All IMO.

This process is not for everybody. I know that I would never (not even when I was in my 20's) have done this.

Longhornfan wrote:Okay, I started out watching Matt's season but quickly lost interest in it.   So I only watched the AFTR last night.   Wow!!  Matt's body language was definitely telling a story of it's own.  I couldn't quite decide who he was the most angry AT or with.   Or is upset the better word?  Either way it was obvious to me that he did not want to be there at all, but he was contractually obligated.  Therefore, it almost felt like a hostage situation.

And I felt like that big bushy beard of his was a defense mechanism that perhaps provided him with some cover.  Because there was a lot going on inside that he was suppressing.  All in all, that conversation with Racheal was just uncomfortable to watch.  And the fact that he was unable or unwilling to "hug it out" with her on national television ended up leaving even more questions.

IMO TPTB made a rash and hurried decision to pick a black man for the Bachelor franchise, and unfortunately Matt turned out to be the wrong choice.

Regarding the bolded, I never understood why Mike wasn't selected to be the first Black lead bachelor.

Deleted.

timfan wrote:Let's be real even if Rachael did not have the scandal it would not have lasted he wanted more fame he is not ready for a commitment he needs therapy jmo

I also don’t think they would have lasted for long without the scandal (though for different reasons), but I’m pretty sure they would have lasted past ATFR, the media rounds and the People cover. That’s pretty much all the casual viewers and TPTB are asking for.

So, by (intentionally?) casting someone with all this racist baggage, TPTB really did this to themselves. They also lost their precious host in the process, hopefully for good. Good job guys, really!
JMO

Matt may not have been the world’s best choice to be the first black bachelor, but the debacle that was this season is on TPTB first and foremost for their atrocious casting, their manipulation and racist editing. Then, it is on Rachael for her personal racism.

And, it is never the responsibility of a black person to educate a white person as to their racism. That is like asking the wife of an abuser to explain why domestic violence is wrong and to stand by them while the “learn”. That could endanger their life. Matt’s life may not be physically in danger from Rachael but his mental health certainly is. If you don’t understand that please think about how you would feel if you were seriously dating someone who has spent their life hating people of your ethnicity. jmo

I'm kind of confused with some of the comments and can't believe I'm going to be defending Matt. I don't think Matt owes Rachael anything. It is not his responsibility, as a black man, to expend emotional labour and educate a white person on their racism. Rachael is also not just a friend to Matt. Many people hold different expectations when choosing a life partner. He may be able to stand by a friend who has done ignorant things in the past, but this is not a person they are planning to have a family with. It's not even a Becca/Garrett situation. Rachael's   i g n o r a n c e   directly impacts him, as a black man. I also believe Rachael and her family may have said something irredeemable to him (post show) when defending their own actions. He used very pointed words and you can tell he was not having it with her. At one point he even said, "I don't want to be emotionally responsible for those tears". When Emmanuel kept pushing for a hug between them and possible reconciliation in the future, it would super uncomfortable to watch. Matt clearly did not want anything to do with her in that moment, so they should have just let them be. Matt has his own faults, but this franchise screwed him over big time. All jmo.

@dee Thank you I totally agree with your opinion! It is sad to see him get the criticism he is receiving now !

I am with those of you who don’t think it was Matt’s job to help Rachael unlearn her racism. And we all need to remind ourselves that we NEVER see or hear all of the conversations between these people we watch on t.v. Dee is probably correct that Rachael or her family said something or things that there was no excusing.

Strange question: is anyone else surprised that Rachael agreed to date a Black man to begin with?

It’s definitely not Matt’s job to help guide Rachael through this, it’s obvious that she didn’t understand and still doesn’t understand why he was mad, and it honestly made me cringe how she kept touching him when he was clearly uncomfortable by it.

I feel there’s a lot more to that breakup that Matt wouldn’t speak on because maybe he doesn’t want to come off as an a**hole when he embarrasses her by telling the real reason

dee wrote:I'm kind of confused with some of the comments and can't believe I'm going to be defending Matt. I don't think Matt owes Rachael anything. It is not his responsibility, as a black man, to expend emotional labour and educate a white person on their racism. Rachael is also not just a friend to Matt. Many people hold different expectations when choosing a life partner. He may be able to stand by a friend who has done ignorant things in the past, but this is not a person they are planning to have a family with. It's not even a Becca/Garrett situation. Rachael's   i g n o r a n c e   directly impacts him, as a black man. I also believe Rachael and her family may have said something irredeemable to him (post show) when defending their own actions. He used very pointed words and you can tell he was not having it with her. At one point he even said, "I don't want to be emotionally responsible for those tears". When Emmanuel kept pushing for a hug between them and possible reconciliation in the future, it would super uncomfortable to watch. Matt clearly did not want anything to do with her in that moment, so they should have just let them be. Matt has his own faults, but this franchise screwed him over big time. All jmo.

Completely agreed. The lack of support for Matt in this instance is really disappointing. I find it disheartening that people can find empathy & understanding for Rachael, who did something wrong whether or not it was intended, but Matt, who imo was the person most hurt in all of this, gets only judgement. All jmo.

luvstx wrote:I am with those of you who don’t think it was Matt’s job to help Rachael unlearn her racism. And we all need to remind ourselves that we NEVER see or hear all of the conversations between these people we watch on t.v.  Dee is probably correct that Rachael or her family said something or things that there was no excusing.

Strange question:  is anyone else surprised that Rachael agreed to date a Black man to begin with?

What has been amazing to me is out of over 30 women on his season Matt picked the One with racist issues. Did any of the other women have racist tendencies that we never found out about because everyone focused on ferreting out Rachel's past since she was reported Final One? Not surprisingly, IMO, the show did not prepare Matt how to navigate the possible racial divide he was facing. Matt even said on the first episode the public was expecting him to choose based on skin color, that people seemed to have no understanding he was half black & half white. So producers knew ahead of time no matter who he chose he was facing an uphill battle. The odds are stacked so high against a Bachelor ever choosing someone to continue a relationship with after the show, it is disappointing to watch season after season the failure of him & his chosen one. To me the only reason to keep having both the Bachelor & Bachelorette is to maintain possible equality when casting for BIP. Hip, hip, hooray to showing 2 seasons of Bachelorette back to back before attempting another Bachelor season. I'd much rather watch the Bachelorette any day to see the way multiple men choose to court a woman. I'm simply tired of catty women and would much rather see the men peacocking around, ha ha.