Colton Underwood & Jordan Brown - Bachelor 23 - Discussion

ReneeM wrote:Rachel’s interview with Demi, they also speak a little bit about Cassie.

That was so much better than both their initial responses. I actually liked what Demi had to say for the most part.
JMO

Mella13 wrote:It seems so fake and strange. I am someone, who actually kinda liked him, and it is 2021, it is ok to be gay, my best friend is, but.... how it works? Did he call to GMA and Netklif? I guess he will get good money from it.
It is ok to live your best life, why it should be so public?

I didn’t care about him much. I always felt him as a fame whore.
But his “virginity not before marriage” could mean they had a platonic relationship but love was nonetheless real.
I know it is possible because I had such passionate platonic relationship with a gay guy when I was 18. So I know firsthand it is possible. We remained 1year 1/2 together and it ended on a big fight.
IMO, he met someone and is in love with this guy. IMO it is the only logical thing I have in mind.
But his constant swallowing (felt forced and fake to me) made it difficult to entirely trust his reasons to come out publicly as such GMA national show... without $$compensation IMO
At the end of the day, nobody cares if he is gay or not. His choice. His life.
Cassie was in his past, like his other GF when he came out. He didn’t break any mariage or kids... there is no victim here. Cassie was an adult and she broke up with him. Not the other way around.

JMHO

I liked what Ben and Ashley I said in their podcast about being happy for Colton that he can be himself and still have negative feelings about the fact that Colton stalked Cassie. That it is possible to have multiple feelings about something. I also saw those pictures of Colton winking at the paparazzi -- he wants the "clout" and likes the media attention. I wasn't a fan of that picture because it looked disingenuous to me. He can feel more free to be himself, tell his story and at the same time -- want to be "in the spotlight" and make money off of it. It is not an either/or situation. All JMO.

One thing that I'm curious about is how Colton cited his religious upbringing (in the Catholic church) as leading to his feelings that being gay was in no way acceptable. I was raised in the Catholic faith, and while it is not the most gay-friendly Christian church out there, neither is it hugely homophobic in the manner of some of the most conservative Christian churches. When I lived in NYC, I would occasionally go to church where I would see gay couples worshipping together.

It's possible that he picked up these feelings that he was not okay from his teachers at the Catholic school he attended. I was just surprised that he cited his church as a part of why he didn't feel accepted.

@Amethyst Since Colton is 26 or 27, it seems to me that his experiences are not typical of most young people who've been raised in the historical Christian church, as opposed to the evangelical ones. I have 3 sons older than Colton and no way would they consider any church teaching they were exposed to as anti-gay.

Norcalgal wrote:@Amethyst Since Colton is 26 or 27, it seems to me that his experiences are not typical of most young people who've been raised in the historical Christian church, as opposed to the evangelical ones. I have 3 sons older than Colton and no way would they consider any church teaching they were exposed to as anti-gay.

Thanks for validating that. I consider the Catholic church to be a mainstream Christian denomination, and when Colton said that, I was like, "Huh?" That didn't match the church that I grew up in.

I always thought the church’ leader just give the pulse in his community. Depending how liberal he his or completely close to LGBTQ. Also family, small town etc.

Living in a big city, more multi cultural, more independent, more anonymous, etc. Is IMO a major factor to be more tolerant with the church you belongs. That’s my opinion.

Colton has a classic Ken American look IMO. I don’t think he ever had an issue being popular with girls and boys. I also think he uses the “remain a virgin until mariage” as a safeguard with girls he never was physically attracted to, IMO

Yes there is nothing wrong to remain a virgin and be faithful to his beliefs. But it doesn’t fit Colton’s character. He wants the spotlight ps and this is nothing new. He craves it.

My guts say he calculated his coming out with $$ and fame. Lately, he was forgotten after Cassie stalking. He was in the shadows and I bet nothing much happened to him worthwhile. So, my guess is that he planned his act, money and fame.

I would love a body language expert to confirm the fake and acting l saw at GMA. Why not using his Instagram to come out? IMO it was not enough “national” for him... for me, it sounds a desperate move of a guy  approaching his 30s and no real career in front of him but gigs here and there that do not feed his fame and money hunger.

All in all, IMO, his coming out was just a tool, juicy career oriented tool. Scandal to “use and humiliate” a “poor girl (Cassie)... but playing victim of the scared little boy afraid to come out. IMO. I am thinking Cassie is happy as she dodged a bullet. Everyone will tap her shoulder and pity her now. Poor blind thing... I have this instinct saying she knew something was not right, and since the show. He was so infatuated and obsessed by her. Always saw an unhealthy relationship...

Again... who cares besides gossip mags and bachelor nation?

JMO

Colton - allegedly- committed criminal activity. Stalking someone, bugging their car, is deplorable behaviour.

Those are the reasons to apologize to Cassie, the women on his season, and the public. He can redeem himself, show repentance, "learn and grow" etc. Until then, I cannot take his platform for coming out seriously.

Why is this man given a platform? He acted poorly

Why? Because it answers all sorts of questions. We know he struggled, and now we know what all that might have been about. We'll soon learn of Cassie's response.

Colton also answers the other question that loomed, which is why he remained a virgin for as long as he did.

Amberish wrote:Why? Because it answers all sorts of questions. We know he struggled, and now we know what all that might have been about. We'll soon learn of Cassie's response.

Colton also answers the other question that loomed, which is why he remained a virgin for as long as he did.

I’m not so sure Cassie will ever respond publicly to this.

It was a long time since I cared why Colton remained a virgin. More interesting questions that will probably remain unanswered are: Why did he stalk and harass his ex that he was never attracted to in the first place? Why did he spread lies about her in the tabloids and submitted her to even more hate from his crazy fans?

The world is full of people with heartwarming coming out stories that deserve the platform more than this abusive jerk.
JMO

IMO Colton’s struggle with his sexuality isn’t a reasonable excuse or justification for how he acted towards Cassie & I think it’s really important not to conflate the two. Colton is a gay man. Also, separately, he stalked & harassed a woman to the point where she felt her only recourse was filing a police report. He didn’t do those things because he’s gay, as evidenced by the millions of gay men & women around the world whose coming out journey doesn’t include stalking & harassment. He did those things because he’s a troubled man. Coming out isn’t a cure for the issues he’s shown he has. In fact, who’s to say he won’t bring that same behaviour into the next relationship he has with a man? I hope in addition to finally being truthful & accepting of who he is, he’s also seeking professional help to address his actions and ensure he never does something like that to someone else. All jmo.

I have indicated previously that I live in a very gay friendly area and this was the water cooler chat here the other day on our walk. They all said the same thing, no one they know who was going through the struggle would ever seek such a public way to convince themselves that they were/were not gay. Pushing all the chips on the table to a fame whore. Their words not mine.