Bachelor 24 - Peter Weber - Mar 9th & 10th Finale - Discussion - *Sleuthing Spoilers* #2

I'm not sure of the filmed breakup timeline ... but they both spoke of troubles ... how he'd been nothing but honest as to how he was struggling .... this was no blindside to her ...lhe knew it was coming.

@northernviewer IA and didn't he say he hadn't seen her in a month?

The F1 and lead see each other during SHV's, did that not ring a bell for her?

I have to believe that last night will eventually be the best thing that happened to Peter. Make no mistake that Barb will try to sabotage any future relationship he has once her place in his heart is threatened. Even with editing, there's simply no way that Barb didn't realize at MTP how much more in love Peter was with Madi than Hannah Ann.

Peter was the perfect lead because production knew he was easily malleable. He had no business getting engaged. Yes, he has to own his decision, but make no mistake that product wanted an engagement this season.

I don't think Peter is used to standing up for himself, especially with his mother. It says something that he tried to stand up to her with respect to his feelings for Madi both on MTP & last night. I don't really expect his relationship with Madi to get off the ground, but I do think the way his mother treated him last night will stick with him. When she tries to pull crap with the next woman he becomes seriously involved with, he'll see the signs much sooner & recognize that if he ever wants a lasting, healthy relationship, she can't be heavily involved in his life.

Emeralds wrote:I have to believe that last night will eventually be the best thing that happened to Peter. Make no mistake that Barb will try to sabotage any future relationship he has once her place in his heart is threatened. Even with editing, there's simply no way that Barb didn't realize at MTP how much more in love Peter was with Madi than Hannah Ann.

Peter was the perfect lead because production knew he was easily malleable. He had no business getting engaged. Yes, he has to own his decision, but make no mistake that product wanted an engagement this season.

I don't think Peter is used to standing up for himself, especially with his mother. It says something that he tried to stand up to her with respect to his feelings for Madi both on MTP & last night. I don't really expect his relationship with Madi to get off the ground, but I do think the way his mother treated him last night will stick with him. When she tries to pull crap with the next woman he becomes seriously involved with, he'll see the signs much sooner & recognize that if he ever wants a lasting, healthy relationship, she can't be heavily involved in his life.

This. I think if anything this will make him think hard about bringing another woman around his family again and I think it will push him to make decisions that are best for him and not for others.

GuardianAngel wrote:@northernviewer IA and didn't he say he hadn't seen her in a month?

The F1 and lead see each other during SHV's, did that not ring a bell for her?

For sure. HA ...IMO ... planned her words strategically, she played nice with tptb ... methinks we'll be seeing a lot of her in the coming years as a frequent flyer of Bach Nation

I think the aspect that I see missing from some recaps and analysis of what happened is that IMO Barb isn’t just a concerned mother, the traits Barb showed IMO are abusive and I do not say that lightly. I cannot sweep the gravity of her behavior under the rug and I don’t think you can understand what happened and why it happened without acknowledging the toxicity of what went on. I have said that Barb had every right to have her own opinion of Madi and to voice it to Peter. That is a separate issue. To use emotional manipulation on your child is abusive and that should not be minimized. What we witnessed isn’t okay and it isn’t acceptable. And trying to dismiss the toxic dynamics in Peter’s family, where everyone falls in line with Barb in case she lashes out or becomes hysterical, as just normal behavior does actual damage. I found it really disturbing to watch and I hope one day that family gets the help they need. All JMO.

cheriee wrote:I think the aspect that I see missing from some recaps and analysis of what happened is that IMO Barb isn’t just a concerned mother, the traits Barb showed IMO are abusive and I do not say that lightly. I cannot sweep the gravity of her behavior under the rug and I don’t think you can understand what happened and why it happened without acknowledging the toxicity of what went on. I have said that Barb had every right to have her own opinion of Madi and to voice it to Peter. That is a separate issue. To use emotional manipulation on your child is abusive and that should not be minimized. What we witnessed isn’t okay and it isn’t acceptable. And trying to dismiss the toxic dynamics in Peter’s family, where everyone falls in line with Barb in case she lashes out or becomes hysterical, as just normal behavior does actual damage. I found it really disturbing to watch and I hope one day that family gets the help they need. All JMO.

Exactly!! There's a big difference between a concerned, involved loving mother and a controlling, manipulative loving mother.

@Longhornfan Thanks for posting this. It's exactly what my questions are.

I listened to yesterday's podcast with Ben H. & he mentioned how incredibly manipulative it was of Barbara to invoke God to sway Peter towards Hannah Ann. Not to mention the crying and histrionics she utilized to manipulate him. Supposedly Peter was going to transfer to NYC this year. Whether NYC or somewhere else, he badly needs distance from his parents.

In one interview, Barbara spoke of her husband & two boys being "one". It really unsettled me because it's the antithesis of what a parent should be doing--raising sons & daughters to be emotionally independent of them & to weather life's ups & downs. One-fourth of the "one" started pulling away & Barbara really pulled out all the stops last night. Hope that one-fourth runs for the hills.

Yes @philphan. For the Bachelor to have a segment on online abuse, and then enable and ignore abusive behavior right in front of them is unconscionable to me. I think it's damaging to see people minimize what went on and justifying toxic abuse as just the actions of a concerned mother. The sad thing is Barb's behavior is actually going to be reinforced because she just got a huge amount of narcissistic supply. It's a cycle and people should know how damaging it is for everyone involved, it should never be excused. All JMO.

@cherieeThank you for stressing that very important issue. It is very distressing and hypocritical to see how CH and TPTB are amplifying the inherent toxicity by having Barbara so prominently highlighted yesterday on a night where HER OWN SON should have his moment of hope and reconciliation. It was unacceptable that she took over in her ramblings about how ‘perfect’ HA was and how Madison was pretty much a ‘ mistake’ in Peter’s life instead of supporting him and THEM in their decision . I could feel the long learned fear reflex from Peter, right there on stage, ( even from the tv screen) as he begged his mom to give Madison a chance. 
He knows he cannot win when his mom is like that. This was hopefully a painfully  
memorable turning point for Peter to start to see the amplitude of his own mother’s unhealthy grip on his life, his emotions and his poor choices made to please her. 
JMOAA

I have a free day today and after washing and waxing my floor I am staring at this and keep thinking of things. Is there no male who is above college age that would not have to say WTH is up with this woman acting this way when she saw me a week ago? Apparently, not JMO, she is way too invested in his life. If my parents greeted me (I am a female) that way a week after I saw them I would think there was something wrong with them. This coming from a woman who arrived home after catching her then hubby cheating on her. My family threw their collective arms around me and loved me and welcomed me home, but they NEVER carried on the way his mom did.

Peter needs to grow a pair.