Bachelorette 15 - Hannah Brown - General Discussion - *Sleuthing Spoilers* #3

^^ *edited**
I say true stories meaning bad guys stopped being bad guys when they met the one that made them stop being bad guys.
My point is that it happens. I am not excusing their bad past
I hope Hannah was the one for him so he could learn what he did wrong. But I do not rejoice like so many of their breakup. I think if it was true love (yet to be proven but still a possibility) then I am not jumping around like a maniac because both are miserable. Jmo

Lucas15 wrote:

HEA wrote:This was before meeting Hannah. He was a jerk. Point taken.
Now did he cheat on Hannah? No as far as we know.
I think we have to make this distinction clear.
Many guys were azzole ... until they met the right girl. True stories.
Jmo

I agree. Jed COULD say that he realizes he's been a jerk but he really did fall in love with Hannah and is heartbroken that he was not able to convince Hannah of this before she broke off with him. That would be a bold move and he might be able to pull it off as long as the rumors about him after filming are false. But if any are true, that could, IMO, cause people who are silent now to come out and tell their story and if that would happen he might have to look for a country music bar in Siberia where no one would ever have heard of him.
JMHO

Agree. It sucks when people put a scarlet star on them and have no idea the reality. He could be the biggest azzole ever or he could be stuck in this intricate spiderwebbed where everyone and everything are judge and jury and whatever direction is wrong. For everyone sake, I wish them away for months from SM, grow from it and move on. Jed will be soon replaced by another villain next bachelorette season anyway.

If Jed didn’t want to be judged for his relationships, he shouldn’t have gone on the most popular nationally televised relationship show in the world. He wanted to reap all the benefits of appearing on the show, he can deal with the consequences too. Contestants before him have been torn apart for FAR less. JMO.

Hawaii Girl wrote:JMO but I really, really hate the idea that it’s fine and normal for guys to be assholes to women until they meet “the one”. You should treat people you date with basic respect even if they’re not the person you’re meant to end up with. It’s honestly just human decency. And I would never want to be with someone who treated women the way Jed did, but then treats me well because I’m “special” and “the one”. Clearly Hannah feels the same since she broke up with him as more evidence of his actions surfaced.

I can't like this statement enough. Human decency. Period. And Jed doesn't have much of it right now. Maybe he'll grow and learn from this experience but not holding him accountable for his decisions and his actions is, quite frankly, not acceptable. Women since the beginning of time have excused men, suffered hardships, played second fiddle, ignored issues, and unfortunately, torn down other women. We should all expect and DEMAND better from men but women too. That's what the #MeToo movement is about -- it isn't only about r*pe and abuse but it is about the systematic social, political, and economic structures that force women into this secondary role...afraid to ask for raises, punished for speaking up, ridiculed for their beliefs, made to feel inferior, forced to "stand by their man," etc... #MeToo is about striving toward equality across the board for everyone. It makes me sad when it is minimized and placed in brackets with qualifiers. Equality benefits everyone. All IMO

I don't think Jed should be tarred and feathered or driven from town with pitchforks. He needs to acknowledge that his recent treatment of Hannah and Hayley was unacceptable and selfish. And most importantly, he needs to learn how to treat women better, be honest and open.  All IMO

Want to date around? Fine, be honest about. Seems like his hook-up girl knew the score and didn't mind the FWB situation, even cheating on Hayley. Do that Jed, hook up with FWB girls who don't care that you are a cheater. Don't play with others who are looking for more. Hayley was complicit in his premeditated scheme and that's on her, but she believed the man that she loved and unfortunately that didn't work out for her. Hannah didn't know the score and that's what makes it all the more painful.  IMO

OFF TOPIC (mods delete if necessary) The US Women's National Soccer team just won their 4th World Cup and will be paid $200,000 each as champions. If the men had won it would've been 1.1 million each.

@North thumbs up

This is my understanding of the MeToo movement and has nothing to do with Jed for me




Wikipedia

I would say IF the rumors post show are true about him grabbing womens butts it would totally belong in the me too movement. Also if the rumors circulating before the show about the girlfriend being abused. Otherwise probably not.

IMO the #metoo movement was/is important because it shines a spotlight on how men (sometimes women) in positions of authority misuse that power particularly in the workforce due to sexual intent. That’s why so many actors and models have come forward with casting couch type stories. Do this sexual fav if you want the job... or I get to caress your butt every time I talk beside you if you want to keep your job.
Being a slime in a bar or DMing an explicit selfie or writing I wanna FU on some guy’s shirtless IG pic could be sexual harassment but IMO not what #metoo as a movement was originally focused on.

HEA wrote:This is my understanding of the MeToo movement and has nothing to do with Jed for me




Wikipedia

Absolutely! The #MeToo movement origin story is one of supporting survivors and interrupting/stopping sexual violence. But to be able to do that, women needed to be heard, treated equally, respected in ways that we currently are not because of political, social, and economic structures. IMO. That's all that I was trying to say. For #MeToo to be successful, we need to tackle these other problems too and the main one, to me, is equality. Just my two cents!

ETA: Also, want to add that I wasn't trying to equate Jed's recent behavior (either alleged IRL or on the show) on par with sexual abuse. Not all. But I do believe that discounting and diminishing women, viewing them as less than, and manipulating for your benefit is worrisome behavior and shouldn't be tolerated by anyone. And if we treated people equally and treated them with human decency, there would be lots more hurt in this world!

Miyala wrote:I would say IF the rumors post show are true about him grabbing womens butts it would totally belong in the me too movement. Also if the rumors circulating before the show about the girlfriend being abused. Otherwise probably not.

It depends if the girls wanted it or not. That we do not know and is a huge difference if it’s Me Too or not. If wanted/not minded it’s not. All iMO.

Tiggerlgh wrote:

Miyala wrote:I would say IF the rumors post show are true about him grabbing womens butts it would totally belong in the me too movement. Also if the rumors circulating before the show about the girlfriend being abused. Otherwise probably not.

It depends if the girls wanted it or not.  That we do not know and is a huge difference if it’s Me Too or not.  If wanted/not minded it’s not.  All iMO.

Yes thats totally true!

@North