Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 11 - Aug 6th FRC - ATFR - #2 *Sleuthing Spoilers*

Which was my point exactly in an earlier post of mine that was edited and since it was brought up a few posts ahead and not edited,  I feel free to comment in that vein again *edit* My motto has always been live and let live. I wish all people well.  All IMO.

Bingo. Only one viewpoint may be expressed now. It's very sad.

I've just watched the final episode and I loved it! Two genuine guys who fell for a great girl. i enjoyed the dates and seeing the couples interact. It was on those dates that I really felt I could see a difference in Becca's level of joy with G over B.
I thought Becca's family were wonderful, supportive and asked insightful questions. I do wonder whether the Becca's Mom knew that she was leaning towards G because her comment to Blake about how he would be ok either way seemed very specific and a bit surprising.
It is clear that the way G reminded Becca of her Dad (and referenced her dad to her and her family) and the shared family interests were important to Becca. On top of that she was very focused on choosing someone she felt would be there for her and strong if illness hit - as opposed to "in his head". (Our past experiences often inform our present choices!) She felt that person would be Garrett.
No bad choice with these two, just a case of B picking the right one for her and her hopes for the future. The new couple certainly seem happy out of the gate.
I appreciated the way TPTB dealt with the Blake/Becca ATFR discussion before showing the FRC. It made for a much happier final couple and it felt less awkward than past ATFR.

GypsySarah wrote:Which was my point exactly in an earlier post of mine that was edited and since it was brought up a few posts ahead and not edited,  I feel free to comment in that vein again. Since the post 2016 election, everyone has gotten too sensitive, blowing everything out of proportion, making enemies with each other over differing political and social positions, making each other out to be monsters. That is sad.  My motto has always been live and let live. I don’t care what political persuasion anyone is on this show. Why? Because it’s their business and I don’t know them. I wish all people well.  All IMO.

Just as an FYI since you appear to be mentioning posts that weren't edited and your's was.

We don't discuss politics on this forum. We sleuth and discuss our thoughts and opinions on Reality TV contestants and everyone is welcome to post their opinions without being called out on. We also utilize the acronym IMO if the comments are not factual. If a post contains any political discussion it is usually edited or deleted. Not everyone on this forum is familiar with United States politics, and a lot of the time's many of us have no idea what is being discussed. If I'm not sure, I will delete or edit the post.

Hope that clarifies it.

Politics- Discussions involving politics are not allowed. Soliciting a particular party, mentioning a particular party in a positive or negative manner, advertising or trying to sway ones opinions between any parties is not allowed. BachandBachetteFans does not support any particular party.  
Rules

I was traveling this week, so I just got a chance to watch the three hour episode last night. Whew! My thoughts:

Blake -- Both Becca and her family acknowledged that Blake and Becca are very much alike -- "like bookends," one family member said. This made me wonder if it's best to be very much like your partner, or if some differences are a good thing (I've always felt the latter, but I really don't know for sure.) They felt he would "challenge" her more, and I'm not really sure what that meant to them. I know that her family liked both Blake and Garrett, but if I had to venture a guess, IMO they had a slight preference for Blake. I felt that he did a good job at ATFR and the Becca was compassionate in dealing with him and responding to his questions. IMO a key point was when she talked about Blake often being "in his head," and wondered how well he might handle life's serious setbacks. I felt that was a valid concern.

Garrett -- I was intrigued that Becca said she started to decide on Garrett at hometowns. I thought all of her hometowns went well, but that two especially stood out -- Garrett's and Jason's. With Garrett, it was almost like it was "her" seat at the family table all along. Looking back, Garrett got the best date in Thailand, and I got the feeling at her own family visit that she was either leaning strongly toward Garrett or had already picked him at that time. Again, I really didn't understand what her family was referring to when they wondered if Garrett would challenge her enough. When they talked about that relationship being a bigger risk, at first I thought they were referring to his previous marriage. But at least one family member seemed to feel that the risk was that they might not push each other. I still have no idea what they meant by that.

As for the discussion about his Insta "likes," I felt it was handled about as well as it could have been. It's not going to make me a fan of Garrett, but then I'm not the one he has to please. I do wish them well as a couple. Are they just doing extended visits to Minneapolis and Reno? Then moving to L.A.? L.A. seems like a place where they could both find employment and take full advantage of their time in the spotlight. Minneapolis, OTOH, has a booming economy and IMO would be a great place to raise a family. I could totally see them doing the minivan lifestyle there!

Great post, amethyst.

I still think becca was a little silly (and possibly even insensitive) extrapolating from Blake's handling - in front of cameras - of the Bach mind*#ck to how he would handle real-life crises. But clearly Blake is a bit more introverted (and likely less impulsive?) than garrett...and, though becca clearly liked his "energy," we've seen impulsivity has created some trouble for garrett in recent days. I think garrett is as committed to becca as he is capable of being to anyone - we shall see how it goes. (To me his two-month marriage is still a concern, but apparently it is not to becca.) But I admit I had little doubt about Blake's ability to commit/be loyal - at least based on what we've been shown. If he is the Bach I hope they can find someone really sweet, kind and equally trustworthy for him. Jmo

I just don't see how Becca can claim she had concerns about Blake's ability to handle tough situations and be a supportive partner when there are challenges but then turn around and choose the guy who walked out on his marriage after 8 weeks because Mommy didn't like his wife.

I felt like she was kind of dishonest with Blake, which bothers me because she couldn't shut up all season about how Arie was "dishonest" with her and did her wrong. I would have had more respect for her if she had just admitted that she was more into Garrett instead of spinning this illogical excuse, which was also kind of a dig at Blake, about how he was too "in his head". He wasn't in his head, he was right. He realized that she was leading him on and was going to pick Garrett, and he was rightfully upset. That wasn't the reason she didn't choose him, it was a reaction to the decision not to choose him, which she stated on ATFR she had already made after hometowns.

Garrett and Becca seem to be similar in that they aren't willing to take any responsibility for their own shortcomings and instead spin it into a situation where they are without fault and the other person is crazy and/or totally to blame. I think Becca should have acknowledged that Blake was right when he expressed concern that something was off and I wish she would have acknowledged that she probably shouldn't have let it go on as long as it did and let him propose to her (I don't care that he hadn't gotten down on one knee yet - that was a proposal). But instead, she blames him for being too in his head, when the reason he was in his head is because she was playing mind games with him.

Realistically, I think Becca actually WAS more into Blake, but because Garrett reminded her of her dad, she couldn't say goodbye to him. And I think Garrett figured that out and played it up. It will be interesting to see if her daddy issues and his willingness to play into that are enough to sustain the relationship.

tiger wrote:I just don't see how Becca can claim she had concerns about Blake's ability to handle tough situations and be a supportive partner when there are challenges but then turn around and choose the guy who walked out on his marriage after 8 weeks because Mommy didn't like his wife.

I do take your point, Tiger.

My thinking stems in part from the following: Anxiety runs in my family. I have a mild form that results in the very occasional panic attack -- racing heartbeat, shortness of breath, feeling that I am about to pass out. Once I knew what was going on, I was able to develop strategies for dealing with those attacks. They are not a big deal. I had a family member, however, who had disabling anxiety. This family member "checked out" for years on end over a given crisis. So when Becca used the specific term "check(ed) out" in talking about her concerns with Blake, it awakened my spidey-sense. It made me wonder if she had previous experience in living with or dealing with someone with severe anxiety, and just didn't care to go there again.

Now *obviously* I have no idea if Blake has anxiety. He might simply over-think things and fret. I do that as well! He might have situational anxiety in front of a camera or while being a part of the Bachelor "bubble." Very understandable if so, and he wouldn't be alone. He might have mild anxiety as I do, so NBD. Or it may possibly go beyond that.

So let's just say that Becca knows him better than I do, and knows her own needs better than I do. It's just that her concerns resonated with me. All IMO.

I do like Blake and I hope he finds a great partner and spouse. He's a sweetheart and he deserves the best.

I did not see her more into Blake  ever since her first 1:1 date with garrett she was more into him I believe she was more sexually attracted to garrett even though she loved Blake I do not think she was in love with him that to me was the difference she was in love with garrett  but she felt she could not give that reason to Blake as she did not want to hurt him more than she already has jmo

Garrett's wife was (allegedly) emotionally abusive and controlling and there are now multiple sources saying that she was cheating on him, from before the wedding, and is now married to that guy and has a child with him. It just shows the sexism that's still pervasive in this world, that when a man tells us that he's a victim, we mock him and accuse him of lying and somehow make him out to be the bad guy in the situation. There's not even a single source out there saying that he's lying and I just don't believe that there isn't a single person in her camp who saw all this being said about her and didn't anonymously give a quote to a random tabloid trying to dispel it. I think it's because they all know it's true and there's probably proof and lots of people to back up his story, so they know the best thing to do is stay quiet. 

IMO.

Aria wrote:Garrett's wife was (allegedly) emotionally abusive and controlling and there are now multiple sources saying that she was cheating on him, from before the wedding, and is now married to that guy and has a child with him. It just shows the sexism that's still pervasive in this world, that when a man tells us that he's a victim, we mock him and accuse him of lying and somehow make him out to be the bad guy in the situation. There's not even a single source out there saying that he's lying and I just don't believe that there isn't a single person in her camp who saw all this being said about her and didn't anonymously give a quote to a random tabloid trying to dispel it. I think it's because they all know it's true and there's probably proof and lots of people to back up his story, so they know the best thing to do is stay quiet. 

IMO.

I personally am not mocking Garrett over his divorce. To me, it's not a question of believing him or not believing him. I know I am not in possession of all of the facts. Any two-month marriage is going to raise question marks in my mind. But in the end, Becca is the only one who needs to be satisfied with what he has told her.

@Amethyst Definitlely not a response to your post! It's just been that I keep seeing some variation of "walked out of his marriage 8 weeks in because his wife was mean to him" and I find that really problematic. I think it's definitely a relevant point to discuss, I just don't like the insinuation that makes him weaker than Blake. 

IMO.