Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 11 - Aug 6th FRC - ATFR - #2 *Sleuthing Spoilers*

northernviewer wrote:SM is a platform for judging others ...whether we like it or not...thinking otherwise, won’t make it so.   People put all kinds of personal sh!t out there...voluntarily... and it’s not gong away.  If you want something private .. don’t put it out there for the public to see...simple as that.  

I’ve been around a while ..a mother ...a grandmother ... a widow ...I’ve seen a lot over the years ... and one thing I can say with certainly is that just because something becomes popular, or even socially acceptable ... IMO ..wrong is wrong and right is right ... anyone can white wash it as much as they want ... but a moral wrong will never became a moral right in my eyes ...just because so many do it ... don’t care ....I’ll never accept it as ok just because I’m in a minority.  

Well-put, Northern. Your response also speaks to a wider issue with all types of media (social media in particular) in recent years and most especially post-election 2016. It's hard (impossible?) to know sometimes where information is coming from or where it started; if the information is provable/can be validated, i.e "fake news" et al.

Imho, human beings (myself included) CHOOSE to believe what we want to believe based on a plethora of things sensibilities/belief systems/moral compasses, etc. Many people go along with the crowd in terms of what they agree with and it takes a strong individual, once they realize their true feelings don't align with that group, to break from the crowd. More so, it takes courage to stand up to prejudice, injustice and bullying when those around you are not supportive.

Sprite wrote:
I think if anyone looks hard enough, there will be some dirt on all of us.

I miss the days pre SM.

Communal shower anyone?

@FLChica no problem.

While his likes totally disturb me and are cause for concern, I do think his apology was heartfelt and he hopefully has learned from the whole ordeal. But....looking at G & B I see a couple who potentially will have some bumps down the road. Yes, they laugh a lot together, are having fun in their just out of the bubble bliss. He just seems to be really naive and not the brightest crayon in the box, imo. I’m not sure if that will wear thin on Becca down the road.

Astrobach wrote:I get that G’ IG likes have been rehashed so much and have taken a life of it’s own. My issue is that he STILL doesn’t get the impact of his actions in terms of understanding what he endorsed by clicking on these posts. Seeing and hearing Becca tell him that he couldn’t just ‘like’ randomly without consequences was akin to a mom schooling a 10 year son and it’s completely mind boggling that he is so dumb and I’m mystified that she is willing to still see him as a possible father to her kids....where is the maturity needed by a partner to be a role model, protect them from danger,  and explain things to his kids if he is not even able to articulate that himself. This has crash and burn written all over. :shootme:

...after seeing that his actions hurt the woman he loves, I think Garrett DOES get the impact of his actions and fully understands what it meant to hit the like button.
So what if it took Becca, the woman he loves, discussing with him and explaining the consequences of actions on a public forum.  Thats what couples do, they talk, discuss their points of view, and educate each other on the issues that are important to them.

ETA....  ... with all the gun violence in this country, I find that "shooting oneself in the head" emoji abhorrent.

XQZME wrote:

Astrobach wrote:I get that G’ IG likes have been rehashed so much and have taken a life of it’s own. My issue is that he STILL doesn’t get the impact of his actions in terms of understanding what he endorsed by clicking on these posts. Seeing and hearing Becca tell him that he couldn’t just ‘like’ randomly without consequences was akin to a mom schooling a 10 year son and it’s completely mind boggling that he is so dumb and I’m mystified that she is willing to still see him as a possible father to her kids....where is the maturity needed by a partner to be a role model, protect them from danger,  and explain things to his kids if he is not even able to articulate that himself. This has crash and burn written all over. :shootme:

...after seeing that his actions hurt the woman he loves, I think Garrett DOES get the impact of his actions and fully understands what it meant to hit the like button.
So what if it took Becca, the woman he loves, discussing with him and explaining the consequences of actions on a public forum.  Thats what couples do, they talk, discuss their points of view, and educate each other on the issues that are important to them.

I agree. He clearly adores Becca and I believe that he felt genuinely awful for causing her all this grief with his SM behaviour. I think he's committed to learning and doing better just for her sake if no other reason. JMO.

philphan wrote:While his likes totally disturb me and are cause for concern, I do think his apology was heartfelt and he hopefully has learned from the whole ordeal. But....looking at G & B I see a couple who potentially will have some bumps down the road. Yes, they laugh a lot together, are having fun in their just out of the bubble bliss. He just seems to be really naive and not the brightest crayon in the box, imo. I’m not sure if that will wear thin on Becca down the road.

I agree. And frankly, if I were him, I wouldn't want to be engaged or married to someone who made me publicly apologize for my political beliefs. And if I were Becca, I wouldn't want to be engaged or married to someone whose beliefs were so offensive to me that I felt like they needed to publicly apologize for them. I know plenty of people who find advocating for easy access to abortion and other things that Becca supports "hurtful and offensive." Would Becca have thought it was cute and clever if there had been a MAGA sticker on the back of the van, or would she have felt mocked and disrespected?

Garrett's family ran his first wife off, and I don't think Becca will last long, either. Mommy Yrigoyen is not going to be happy that Garrett is engaged to a ball-busting liberal feminist who clearly wears the pants in their relationship, and I think she will make damn well sure that he knows it. And Garrett appears to be someone who can't cut the cord and put his wife before his parents, which will lead to Becca wanting Garrett to distance himself from the family, and we'll have a repeat of what happened with his first marriage.

I agree on the cutting-the-cord part at least....  It does seem becca is the dominant one so far, although at least she is a benevolent (IMO) leader... I.e. I don't get the feeling she wants to mess up the 50-50 balance, just that this is crisis mode right now and she has the pr experience. But I'm not convinced that garrett will be able to bring quite as much to the table as she, no matter how much love he has for her...and as others have said, it will be interesting to see how things play out. Jmo

It so early to say what will actually happen with them.  

But Garret reminds me of being around children all day.  You crave an intellectual conversation after with an adult.

Poor Becca.  He will be a lot of work.. Thank goodness he’s potty trained.

nikikass wrote:It so early to say what will actually happen with them.  

But Garret reminds me of being around children all day.  You crave an intellectual conversation after with an adult.

Poor Becca.  He will be a lot of work.. Thank goodness he’s potty trained.

Per the bolder: do you know this as fact or is this your opinion? just saying.

@tiger And Garrett appears to be someone who can't cut the cord and put his wife before his parents.
IMO, ideally, a healthy relationship doesn't divide partner and parents, so I would hope that they both like and respect one another.

Kashathediva wrote:

nikikass wrote:It so early to say what will actually happen with them.  

But Garret reminds me of being around children all day.  You crave an intellectual conversation after with an adult.

Poor Becca.  He will be a lot of work.. Thank goodness he’s potty trained.

Per the bolder: do you know this as fact or is this your opinion? just saying.  

I heard him mention pull-ups ...Thought he was talking about working out ....maybe not