Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion #3

Not to mention his stupid Dutch oven thing pretty much negates any half assed apology he made. 

That’s just so... not kind. 

JMO

vacayeveryday wrote: snipped..

I must be on totally different feeds, because I honestly never heard that it was offensive until yesterday. I'm not saying that Arie/Lauren are innocent in all this, I'm just saying that taking myself as an example and from other comments I've seen not everyone knows that this joke is seen as an offensive thing. That's all.

I agree. This joke has been around for as long as I can remember. If people are hurt by it, I can understand that, however, I'd be offended several times a day if I took offense to comments made on SM. I lost my dad 48 yrs ago, when I was a young teen. Am I offended when it's Father's day and everyone posts sweet Father's Day messages and Pics? I should be, how dare anyone post those types of sweet messages when there are those that lost our Dads. I heard some Christians didn't want April Fools Day this year because it was Easter Sunday. I celebrated Easter like any other Easter. It's ludicrous IMHO. If I don't like something, I delete it, ignore it, move on otherwise I would be consumed with hate the way the world is today IMHO.  

I'm more offended when I'm accused of being an Arie lover, and making excuses for his bad behaviour when I never said such a thing. I'm more offended when I'm accused of making excuses and blaming the victim when I never said that at all.

I would be grateful if posts leave everyone out of the picture, because I'm not everyone, and don't put words in my mouth of saying things I did not say.

When Arie and Lauren became engaged, media outlets who reach a huge audience and many people on SM said that the reason, supported by their apparent “rush” to get married, was that Arie got Lauren pregnant.

Are those mentions of untrue pregnancy insensitive to those who suffer with infertility?

I can understand if people are hurt, yet why is it okay for media outlets to joke about pregnancy but Arie can’t?

alwaystulips wrote:When Arie and Lauren became engaged, media outlets who reach a huge audience and many people on SM said that the reason, supported by their apparent “rush” to get married, was that Arie got Lauren pregnant.

Are those mentions of untrue pregnancy insensitive to those who suffer with infertility?

I can understand if people are hurt, yet why is it okay for media outlets to joke about pregnancy but Arie can’t?

I don't think is it okay for media outlets to joke or even speculate about pregnancy. I do think those mentions of untrue pregnancy are insensitive. As someone who endured 2 miscarriages before having my first child, and a 3rd before having my second, I find nothing funny or appropriate about pulling a "pregnancy prank", regardless of who is doing the pulling. There is also the old adage "Two wrongs, doesn't make it right." Media outlets posting pregnancy speculation doesn't make it okay for Arie and Lauren to pull the prank, nor, IMO, does it excuse it.

Seriously, I saw at least a dozen different social media posts asking people not to post April Fools Pregnancy Announcements. They were right up there with the "Don't Buy a Pet Rabbit" posts.

Thanks, I appreciate your viewpoint, @eirekay.

I also appreciate Arie’s apology today.

Everyone's social media pages differ upon their own demographics. 
It's very big on the news(fake or otherwise), that FB, google, Alexa, apple, amazon and every other big brother organization is aware of what is wanted to be seen on the feeds. 
Some will not be seeing the same things as others. 
It doesn't matter how many might see it, as there are others not seeing it. 
I didn't see anything on my feed.
I checked with my children of childbearing age. Neither had anything on their pages. One is even in an infertility support group having gone through IVF twice.

Kashathediva wrote:Everyone's social media pages differ upon their own demographics. 
It's very big on the news(fake or otherwise), that FB, google, Alexa, apple, amazon and every other big brother organization is aware of what is wanted to be seen on the feeds. 
Some will not be seeing the same things as others. 
It doesn't matter how many might see it, as there are others not seeing it. 
I didn't see anything on my feed.
I checked with my children of childbearing age. Neither had anything on their pages. One is even in an infertility support group having gone through IVF twice.

Yes, I just checked again. I definitely did NOT get any feeds re pregnancy jokes or even buying baby bunnies.

I am sensitive to infertility and have family members in that category
I also have achoholic famiily issues and if I got offended every time I see a social media post or picture of people enjoying achohol or joking about drinks etc I would be offended 24/7 !

GuardianAngel wrote:

vacayeveryday wrote: snipped..

I must be on totally different feeds, because I honestly never heard that it was offensive until yesterday. I'm not saying that Arie/Lauren are innocent in all this, I'm just saying that taking myself as an example and from other comments I've seen not everyone knows that this joke is seen as an offensive thing. That's all.

I agree. This joke has been around for as long as I can remember. If people are hurt by it, I can understand that, however, I'd be offended several times a day if I took offense to comments made on SM. I lost my dad 48 yrs ago, when I was a young teen. Am I offended when it's Father's day and everyone posts sweet Father's Day messages and Pics? I should be, how dare anyone post those types of sweet messages when there are those that lost our Dads. I heard some Christians didn't want April Fools Day this year because it was Easter Sunday. I celebrated Easter like any other Easter. It's ludicrous IMHO. If I don't like something, I delete it, ignore it, move on otherwise I would be consumed with hate the way the world is today IMHO.  

I'm more offended when I'm accused of being an Arie lover, and making excuses for his bad behaviour when I never said such a thing. I'm more offended when I'm accused of making excuses and blaming the victim when I never said that at all.

I would be grateful if posts leave everyone out of the picture, because I'm not everyone, and don't put words in my mouth of saying things I did not say.

Hi GA. I’m just pointing out that in the example you provided, when people post Father’s Day messages,  no one is making light or making a joke about it; it’s valid.  Same here. No one is insinuating they are hurt or offended when a person posts a legitimate pregnancy announcement (much like people posting Fathers Day messages.) Its the making light of it, and turning that pregnancy into a flippant joke that has been pointed out by some in the infertility/recurrent loss communities as insensitive and hurtful. 

If you haven’t seen these kinds of messages, now you have.  It’s personally not a new concept for me. I’ve been hyper aware of this for several years. 

JMO.

And once again... the point is not if *you* are personally offended by it... if you aren’t, wonderful. That’s nice. The larger point is some are, and certain groups have asked for sensitivity towards this issue. It all comes down to just being kind and thoughtful, iimo. Is a silly April Fools Day joke really worth making someone else hurt? I vote no. JMO

Arie did apologize and he meant no harm I think we all need to accept that and not over do the offense part ! IMO
If you or I offend someone and we apologize for it we would want the
Same treatment ! IMO

USAGold wrote:Arie did apologize and he meant no harm I think we all need to accept that and not over do the offense part ! IMO
If you or I offend someone and we apologize for it we would want the
Same treatment ! IMO

He quantified his apologies with “ifs” and then he negated his apology with that assy Dutch Oven crap.

If he had simply said something along the lines of “I’m sorry for offending certain people in the infertility community with my joke. I was unaware, but now I know” I would have accepted something like that at face value and that would be the end. Instead he made it worse with half assed apologies and snarky retractions. He’s just... not my kind of person. JMO