Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion #2

rosefever wrote:

Aria wrote:And, I can't stand reality TV stars who have trouble taking pictures with fans or generally being rude to them.

IMO, the only one being extremely rude, as a matter of fact, is Britt Robertson. Extremely unprofessional what she's doing in the interview, and IMO it's part of the general trend where people think they can call Arie names and attack his character just because they believe they can get away with it.

All just my opinion of course, but apparently (online) bullying is a national sport now. Bullying is systematic on the Bachelor in the past couple of seasons as well, so I guess the show attracts people who enjoy watching people get bullied (by mean girls), as well as people who enjoy people that fight back against bullies (villains).

I think Krystal getting called a "sociopath" was an all-time low. JMO.

So, when Arie was doing it to Chris, it was okay? Because Arie went after Chris on at least three different occasions that I can think of, even though Chris never did anything to Arie. Just because they chose Chris over him. Can you imagine Caila doing that to Jojo? People would have destroyed her, but Arie got away with it each time and now has the audacity  to insist that he is deserving of understanding. And he didn't stop there. He's now gone after Bekah, Caroline, Krystal, and I'm sure he'll keep going! IMO.

I think that "bullying" has become a buzz word and people just throw it around when someone expresses any mild criticism. Bullying is defined as "the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others; the behavior is often repeated and habitual.". Britt wasn't bullying him. She was calling him a jerk who thinks he's much more famous and important than he really is. Arie wasn't abused, intimidated, fearful, or put in emotionally pain by her words. She had a bad experience with him and she shared it. Simple as that. Nothing unprofessional about it, since she doesn't work with Arie and is recounting a personal experience, as the interviewer had asked her. IMO.

@Aria, to be fair, Caroline, Bekah and Krystal went after him first. Should he have kept his mouth shut? Probably, but some of their comments were way beyond harsh. Jmho.

@Mommyof2 I don't disagree and that's why I never expressed any issues with his words against them (the Chris thing is different and totally gross of him, IMO) . It's just, IMO, hypocritical to call someone a bully for mildly criticizing Arie, but ignoring or justifying it when he mildly criticizes someone. If you want to call Britt a bully, you have to call Arie a bully. IMO.

Aria wrote:

rosefever wrote:

Aria wrote:And, I can't stand reality TV stars who have trouble taking pictures with fans or generally being rude to them.

IMO, the only one being extremely rude, as a matter of fact, is Britt Robertson. Extremely unprofessional what she's doing in the interview, and IMO it's part of the general trend where people think they can call Arie names and attack his character just because they believe they can get away with it.

All just my opinion of course, but apparently (online) bullying is a national sport now. Bullying is systematic on the Bachelor in the past couple of seasons as well, so I guess the show attracts people who enjoy watching people get bullied (by mean girls), as well as people who enjoy people that fight back against bullies (villains).

I think Krystal getting called a "sociopath" was an all-time low. JMO.

So, when Arie was doing it to Chris, it was okay? Because Arie went after Chris on at least three different occasions that I can think of, even though Chris never did anything to Arie. Just because they chose Chris over him. Can you imagine Caila doing that to Jojo? People would have destroyed her, but Arie got away with it each time and now has the audacity  to insist that he is deserving of understanding. And he didn't stop there. He's now gone after Bekah, Caroline, Krystal, and I'm sure he'll keep going! IMO.

I think that "bullying" has become a buzz word and people just throw it around when someone expresses any mild criticism. Bullying is defined as "the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others; the behavior is often repeated and habitual.". Britt wasn't bullying him. She was calling him a jerk who thinks he's much more famous and important than he really is. Arie wasn't abused, intimidated, fearful, or put in emotionally pain by her words. She had a bad experience with him and she shared it. Simple as that. Nothing unprofessional about it, since she doesn't work with Arie and is recounting a personal experience, as the interviewer had asked her. IMO.

Preach!!

Brit had a legimate interaction with him and he was a douche to her. Not surprising to many of us and worthwhile to note.

I think bully is a harsh word and I wouldn't call Britt a bully, but rather that she just didn't like him. It says something about her character though the way she was speaking about Arie. She could have kept her mouth shut on that one. Maybe he didn't like her either. She's not perfect. He's not perfect. I like the saying, "The quieter you become, the more you can hear." As I tell my kids, once you say something, you can't take it back. Jmo.

if anyone has a questionable character in this situation, it's Arie JMO

Aria wrote:So, when Arie was doing it to Chris, it was okay? Because Arie went after Chris on at least three different occasions that I can think of, even though Chris never did anything to Arie. Just because they chose Chris over him. Can you imagine Caila doing that to Jojo? People would have destroyed her, but Arie got away with it each time and now has the audacity  to insist that he is deserving of understanding. And he didn't stop there. He's now gone after Bekah, Caroline, Krystal, and I'm sure he'll keep going! IMO.

Could you provide a source for the most insulting thing Arie said about Chris?

Arie was asked in an interview about the DMs, and he said that showed Bekah's immaturity. I haven't heard him say anything bad about Caroline. As for Arie and Krystal, I think something happened that wasn't aired, but (imo) he should have acknowledged that she had a hard time in the house with the other girls and that he should have given her a proper goodbye.

Aria wrote:
I think that "bullying" has become a buzz word and people just throw it around when someone expresses any mild criticism. Bullying is defined as "the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others; the behavior is often repeated and habitual.".

IMO the most damaging aspect of bullying is exclusion by the group. People are afraid to engage the victim out of fear of being bullied themselves. Other people take jabs at the victim because they think it's expected of them, or they falsely believe they are justified in attacking the victim. Bullying then becomes a systematic pattern of ostracism, which can escalate into continual mild criticism and condescension where the victim is constantly reminded that it's their fault that they are being mistreated, which then can create the illusion that the victim is genuinely to blame and deserving of punishment because the victim refuses to change its behavior, admit it is wrong, or worse, disagree with how it is treated (aka a villain). Part of the bullying process is that people will find additional things to criticize the victim for. The victim is no longer a person with feelings, so people will eventually escalate criticism into mental and physical abuse.

Aria wrote:
Britt wasn't bullying him. She was calling him a jerk who thinks he's much more famous and important than he really is. Arie wasn't abused, intimidated, fearful, or put in emotionally pain by her words. She had a bad experience with him and she shared it. Simple as that. Nothing unprofessional about it, since she doesn't work with Arie and is recounting a personal experience, as the interviewer had asked her. IMO.

Imagine a male actor calling Becca someone who 'is just there to be made fun of' and 'nothing but a show pony'. He'd probably get in serious trouble. The fact that Britt (apparently) gets away with this is (imo) extremely troubling.

I have little respect for a bullies that gang up on someone in a vulnerable position. That's kicking someone who is already down.

I was actually thinking good on her for expressing her discomfort in that situation. for all the comments about Arie and his behavior, I wonder how many we don't hear. JMO

Aria wrote:@Mommyof2 I don't disagree and that's why I never expressed any issues with his words against them (the Chris thing is different and totally gross of him, IMO) . It's just, IMO, hypocritical to call someone a bully for mildly criticizing Arie, but ignoring or justifying it when he mildly criticizes someone. If you want to call Britt a bully, you have to call Arie a bully. IMO.

What did he say about Chris? I remember something about calling him the farmer, but nothing else. I do think he was super disappointed that season, the digs were meant for the TPTB but I agree that Chris did nothing to deserve being put in the middle of that. OT, I wonder if he would have gotten the same group of girls and if so, who he would have picked?

As far as Britt, on the bright side, at least he wasn't hitting on her. j/k Arie seems to have plenty of friends and is a loving son and brother. I understand questioning his ability to commit to one woman, but he seems generally warm and friendly to me. Maybe he was distracted or upset about something when Britt met him. Maybe he doesn't like Britt. Maybe Britt thought he should be more impressed with her. Who knows, but I don't see that as a pattern with him, more the exception.

@grace8136 He made fun of him when he and Whitney broke up and he posted an IG story making fun of him when Chris was arrested.

He didn't made fun of him, imo, when he was arrested he posted a picture saying he hope Justice is made, which I agree on.

If he made fun of Chris when he was arrested for taking a life, then that would shock me, but if he said he hopes justice is served, then I can't fault him.  Jmo.  

@grace8136...at least he wasn't hitting on her!