Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion #2

GuardianAngel wrote:Women are strung along, if they let themselves be strung IMHO.

I have to admit I am somewhat confused by Arie's exes. They all appear to sing Arie praises as being sweet and kind and someone who would give you the shirt off his back and help an old lady across the street (or change her flat tire for her) - all of these seem to be qualities that IMO would be attractive. But then they all seem to blame only him for being unable to commit to them when they have never brought up the subject of commitment to him. I wonder why - if they wanted commitment - did they not say so? Why did they hope for something more when they never said they wanted something more? Were they perhaps afraid to ask those kinds of questions of Arie? Because if so - IMO they knew already knew the answers but didn't want to risk ending the relationship by asking the questions.

Is Arie blameless here? IMO no - he bears some of the blame - but IMO so do these women. I think it takes two people to be in a relationship and if it's not the relationship one of them wants - ask the questions, hear the answers, and move on if it's not headed in the direction you want. But don't put up with it for years and then put all the blame the other person; own your own part of it.

And then, there's Lauren and IMO she's a different breed of cat from these exes. She made it quite clear to Arie: - "If you're only looking for closure (ie to make yourself feel good about what you did) then we have nothing to talk about". "If you're looking for something more, I'm all in - but commit to it and put a ring on it." IMO very clear and very concise and very smart and very different from these exes.
JMHO

@Lucas15 - Right on!!

@Lucas15 as usual .... a voice of reason IMO

I personally don’t subscribe to the philosophy that all single people (male or female) who are under 40 and not yet married are scumbag players

And since when does “I’m ready for marriage” = “I have to marry the next person I date” ? Life and love are a helluvalot more complicated than that. Meeting the right person for you can take time .... years .... and when it’s right ... it’s right... and mutual .... onsided love will end cuz .... he/she’s just not that into you...
Period.

Will Arie and Lauren be each other’s person? Time will telll....and of it doesn’t work out, they’ll both try again ... which is what we all do in our search for a life partner.

I know a lot of people in their mid 30's that are single for a variety of reasons. None of them are "players". Personally, just my opinion, but I think most would like to find their person. For whatever reasons it's not happening.
Some of them have found their person and still choose to be single with or without children in the picture.

northernviewer wrote:@Lucas15 as usual .... a voice of reason IMO

I personally don’t subscribe to the philosophy that all single people (male or female) who are under 40 and not yet married are scumbag players

And since when does “I’m ready for marriage” = “I have to marry the next person I date” ?  Life and love are a helluvalot more complicated than that.  Meeting the right person for you can take time .... years .... and when it’s right ... it’s right... and mutual .... onsided love will end cuz .... he/she’s just not that into you...
Period.

Will Arie and Lauren be each other’s person? Time will telll....and of it doesn’t work out, they’ll both try again ... which is what we all do in our search for a life partner.

I agree. Good posting! This will be a great test of their relationship when Lauren and Arie are living together, toilet seat up or down, crumbs on the counter, habits of the other person that drive you up the wall... True life begins now. Will they make it? As always, time will tell. They seem pretty well suited for each other from what I can see, but if they don't work out, that's life. This is the purpose of dating. Jmo.

There are plenty of single people of all ages that date and treat their partners respectfully. They are single for a multitude of reasons. 

Arie has dated multiple people at the same time without telling the people he is doing it, per Courtney’s book and other exes. He integrates women in his life, giving them hope of more, without mentally committing. IMO, spending Christmas as a couple indicates commitment and intimacy. This is player behavior to me and IMO. He never fully lies, he just never fully tells the truth either. IMO.

Does this make him horrible, nope, it doesn’t. But I would not encourage a friend to date him as his pattern of behavior with women sucks. IMO.

Lauren was smart to get the commitment, even if proposing in front of Becca seemed crass to me, IMO. I also wonder since previous engagement did not last for either of them if that is why the are so ready and anxious for the “real” commitment of marriage. NBD to me. They last great, they break up, well broken engagement they have both survived and divorce sucks but it isn’t fatal. All JMO.

If that article is true and I believe much of it is, Arie played those women. I don't see how they're in the wrong for not asking for a committed relationship. When you're with someone that you're falling for, should you have to say that? A guy living with someone shouldn't be trying to hook up with someone else, imo. The only thing I can see that they're to blame for is believing Arie.

Having said that, I don't know that Arie won't change his ways for Lauren. It's happened before. I wish them luck.

IDK when I used to date many moons ago, I had a relationship in a couple different cities, hometown and college town. Unless I had specified exclusiveness, I always assumed the relationship was not. 
When things like this are not discussed, ILY's are not exchanged etc., IMO anything goes. Ya want to move in with me and pay my bills that's good. I hope I just don't getting killed in my sleep. But if you're not telling me I'm the one and I'm not asking, that omission alone says volumes to me.

Lauren's a fool and a prop, IMO. Anyone who watched his season has seen first hand how duplicitous and dishonest Arie can be. He wanted to take the top 3 to bed so he told each of them what they wanted to hear to lay a safe landing for Fantasy Suites, IMO. Arie is a self-centered jackass, clearly, IMO. Look how he treated Becca. When Lauren's shine wears off, and that will happen even sooner than he reaches middle age and has much to prove with his declining libido, he will become an even bigger nightmare than any of his exes could imagine, IMO. There is nothing new about Arie. He is a classic player who lies by omission and chooses women who make good victims, IMO. Every ex except Courtney fits the bill perfectly. He found out quickly that Becca was not going to be compliant, IMO.

This season was falling on its face until this whole fiasco was devised, filmed and acted. Let's reconvene for discussion and truth in one year. All JMO.

Those that think Arie proposed in front of Becca. I would highly suspect that she didn't watched the proposal. I would think she was back getting ready to come back out. I also think that once the proposal was made that Arie, Lauren and their families probably left the the building. JMO

@Chgohighlife ITA with the "lie by omission". As the mom of two sons, I would be upset if I found out that they were treating women that way. JMO

Iluvbachette wrote:Those that think Arie proposed in front of Becca. I would highly suspect that she didn't watched the proposal. I would think she was back getting ready to come back out. I also think that once the proposal was made that Arie, Lauren and their families probably left the the building. JMO

Elvis has left the building.