Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion #2

Cyberbullying: Using technology is the newest way to bullying. Examples include sending mean text messages, posting videos, stories, or photos that ridicule someone, and spreading rumors through social networking sites.


http://www.pacer.org/bullying/classroom/middle-highschool/bullying-101.asp

Mommyof2 wrote:Are any of us perfect?  No.  I think calling it bullying it going a little too far, imho.  I know bullying when I see it.  They were laughing at the exuberant way the man was working out.  It made them laugh.  They were trying to be funny and made a mistake by posting it on IG for the world to see.  Now, they will be raked over the coals once again.
Jmo.  

Taking a video of someone without their knowledge, in which you are mocking and laughing at them for their outfit and workout, and then posting it to a combined 1 million followers without their consent is the very definition of bullying to me. And I don't think they made a 'mistake'. They were laughing in it. Lauren 'couldn't even'. This is the kind of thing they genuinely find funny, because they are genuinely terrible people. JMO.

And the reason they shouldn't have posted it is because it's an invasion of privacy and is inviting hundreds of thousands of people to also mock a completely harmless guy who has no clue he was being filmed. Not because they were going to get (deserved) backlash IMO.

IMO filming this video was wrong in the first place, and posting it on SM doubled the wrong. That is considered bullying. I would say this about any of these cast members, even the ones I like. It wasn't a mistake. It was a deliberate act to laugh at a complete stranger, and have their ig followers mock and laugh at that person too. Personally, I'm quite over weight. I'm trying to loose weight, exercise a lot, and yes, go to gym. I won't be a pretty sight in gym, but that's why I go there, to get the professional guide from the instructors there, so I learn to exercise properly and not harm my body. If that video was taken of me, and posted online, I would be mortified, and would stop going to gym. Jmo.

And just a little fun fact. That person the playboy model pictured in a gym shower felt so horrible, that she threw away the backpack she used to take to her gym, in order to not being recognised by other gym goers. She only asked the price of that backpack as compensation from the playboy model. Unanimously ALL gyms condemned the actions of the model, and it was stated multiple times, that most if not all gyms do not allow filming in gyms or their premises, its considered invasion of privacy of other gym goers.

As for Arie and Lauren. This act of theirs Imo cements my impression of them. They're mean people, self centered, perfect examples of the me me me me me centric ideals that many people are practicing these days. Imo they lack depth and human decency, they lack compassion and kindness. IMHO they're the worst couple ever come off this show. I hope they'll stay together forever, just to spare other people from possibly being fooled to getting involved with them later on. They're perfect for each other, and that's not a good thing. All my opinion.

North wrote:

Amberish wrote:I didn't watch the video and relied on the discussion here for content. Then, a few minutes ago, an extremely considerate forum member privately sent me the link. Thank you very much!

Honestly, I don't have a problem with Arie posting a 14-second video showing what a gym looks like from across the street and 1 story below. I don't even have a problem with Arie pointing out the circus acrobat shorts. But, what I don't understand, at all, is how mentioning the shorts is being confused with body shaming? Respectfully my opinion, of course.

That is one ridiculously crowded work out room. Sadder than that is knowing people actually pay to be crowded into that space.  Hopefully, everyone working out makes use of deodorant (which, from my experience of the locale, is not always the case)!

The body shaming and the bullying can be argued until the end of time - IMO. As well as Arie/Lauren's intent. But for me, as stated previously, the issue is about privacy. Generally, privacy is the right to be left alone and free from surveillance and unreasonable personal intrusions. Now information privacy is the right to determine when and to what extent information about oneself can be communicated to others.

And that's why this raises flags for me -- there isn't any attribution or notation -- and Arie and Lauren's laughing voiceover indicates (IMO) this wasn't for research purposes or intellectual inquiry. The question here is did this guy approve the video to be shared with 1 million viewers. If not, that's an invasion of his privacy. And also, IMO, just really poor taste/humor. Now if Arie and Lauren were incidentally filming the storefront and happened to get this guy in the background, that's another story but per the video, not what happened here.

Arie and Lauren aren't the only ones who made a poor decision to share a mocking video (IMO) -- there's a Bravo celebrity that photobombs people sleeping in airports. And that drives me nuts too. This issue is definitely a very gray area with technology, ethics, morals, and common sense all battling one another. Eventually the law will catch-up with technology and all the periphery issues but, unfortunately, it hasn't yet.

And lastly, I'm not a proponent of the "Everyone else is doing it" excuse.

Privacy? Who expects privacy if electing to work out in front of a huge window facing a busy street. Look how crowded it is in front of the window. Frankly, I'm surprised people have room to move. Yes, those shorts are certainly an oddity, but the real spectacle, to me, anyway, is working out in such a tight space. (Curious if there are other, empty work out rooms NOT in front of that window.)

Asserting US standards upon on people who live in a different country with an entirely different set of standards. *edit*

With absolute certainty, *IMO* those people we're watching working out in front of that window are HOPING they're being watched for otherwise, they wouldn't be working out in front of that window. Barcalonians who prefer to work out privately aren't working out in front of that window, that's for sure!

Now, if to assert what Arie isn't a class act, yeah, ok, I can buy that, I do not believe this is body shaming and bullying. Edit. My opinion, of course.

I lived in Europe and I have visited Spain many times, what these two have done is very very frowned upon by the general population. People over there do not take lightly to being filmed without consent and it could get into legality issues if it's causing emotional/mental harm. Which this case would be a perfect candidate for that since they were positing it to such a large audience.

Working out in a busy gym does not mean people are seeking for attention, it means they want to work on their health and better them selves. IMO Most people do not have the luxury to go to a private/more exclusive gym. JMO I go to a gym almost everyday who is very busy and I would be livid if anyone is filming me to post to SM while I am minding my own business. I don't even use social media because I care about my privacy, so why would you violate my choice not to be put on the wide web ?! imo People like them should be shamed about this and put in their place because behavior like this is very harmful to others. We all deserve to be respected in our own private lives and it is not much to ask IMO

North wrote:The body shaming and the bullying can be argued until the end of time - IMO. As well as Arie/Lauren's intent. But for me, as stated previously, the issue is about privacy. Generally, privacy is the right to be left alone and free from surveillance and unreasonable personal intrusions. Now information privacy is the right to determine when and to what extent information about oneself can be communicated to others.

And that's why this raises flags for me -- there isn't any attribution or notation -- and Arie and Lauren's laughing voiceover indicates (IMO) this wasn't for research purposes or intellectual inquiry. The question here is did this guy approve the video to be shared with 1 million viewers. If not, that's an invasion of his privacy. And also, IMO, just really poor taste/humor. Now if Arie and Lauren were incidentally filming the storefront and happened to get this guy in the background, that's another story but per the video, not what happened here.

Arie and Lauren aren't the only ones who made a poor decision to share a mocking video (IMO) -- there's a Bravo celebrity that photobombs people sleeping in airports. And that drives me nuts too. This issue is definitely a very gray area with technology, ethics, morals, and common sense all battling one another. Eventually the law will catch-up with technology and all the periphery issues but, unfortunately, it hasn't yet.

And lastly, I'm not a proponent of the "Everyone else is doing it" excuse.

that! People using internet without understanding "the internet" ... just wait till they start to complain about the internet rumors, misinformations and wrong perception ... privacy is a 2-way street.

Amberish wrote:Privacy? Who expects privacy if electing to work out in front of a huge window facing a busy street. (snipped)

it's one thing to do something in the moment in front of the people (how you chose to do it) and it's totally different beast when your act is on the World Wide Web ... that has "history" ... and then you can relive that act over and over again. This time it was just some "poor guy in shorts", yes we can laugh about ... but it's the privacy of the content shared on internet that has being violated ... and there are pages of "agreements" we have to approve when we join the Social Media ... and yet people don't read.

Filming someone through windows is still invasion of privacy. Or I suppose Arie and Lauren would be cool and if people were filming them through windows, and posting these online. I'm astonished at how everyone else gets blamed when Arie and Lauren act like jerks. First it was Becca, now it's this gym goer. He gets called attention seeker just because Arie and Lauren decided to film him and post it on their sm. Other people are allowed to live their lives (like this gymgoer to go to gym) without jerks like Arie and Lauren deciding to use them as their entertainment when they're bored. And yes, posting mocking videos of other people online is imho bullying.

These two are such jokers and losers imo. I mean seriously. What is there to argue from my perspective? They do the job for me imo.

Arie deleted his story and blocked his comments on IG.  And it begins...  

If he publicly apologized today, would you forgive him?  Just curious.

Btw, how is it any different when all I see are derogatory comments about Arie and Lauren on this board? He's an eff boy, a loser, a jerk. Why is one okay, but not the other? Again, just curious.

Mommyof2 wrote:Arie deleted his story and blocked his comments on IG.  And it begins...  

If he publicly apologized today, would you forgive him?  Just curious.  

I would “forgive” him when he started acting like a freaking 36 yo old responsible, kind, normal adult, not a snobby, ill-mannered, poorly raised, spoiled overgrown teen. All through his actions and choices for a significant period of time, not anymore sm posting BS faux apologies in my eyes. All imo.

Alanna wrote:These two are such jokers and losers imo. I mean seriously. What is there to argue from my perspective? They do the job for me imo.

When people show you who they are (over and over again), believe them.