Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion #2

Kashathediva wrote:

Aria wrote:Every past lead I've heard from (Sean, Nick, Jason, Ben H, Ben F, Rachel, and Kaitlyn) has said that he COULD have put his foot down. They've said that production can be tough and they sympathize with the pressure there, but you can always put your foot down and they're not happy with the way he handled things. They've also said that they wish he had reached out to him because they would have advised him NOT to do it on camera, because it doesn't help him or Becca. It's just for the producers. IMO.  

Apparently from what Mills has indicated, this is the start of a new twist with after the FRC being part of the new story. 
Because it did not happen with anyone else, does not mean it was something that was not going to happen this season. Those are false assumptions, IMO. Except for Jason's season, there would have been no reason to attempt this post filming twist. 
No one, but production and cast are aware of what actually went on IMO. The viewer saw a lot of continued filming with Becca alone. It was IMO humiliating. I don't think she may have had any more control over that than the other filming at the SHV. 
Mills has indicated this next season is going to  strange season. That is yet to be seen, however, I think the post filming scenes have just begun. JMO

How can he know in advance it's going to be a strange season, even with story boarding, unless we are watching a truly scripted show touted as a reality show. And if so, how long has this been going on. I mean we knew that some cast members were given scripts through Intel (1F), but has it been more than that, and how long.

I need to read Amy Kaufman's book, although she probably doesn't come completely clean.

I understand those saying "it's not that he changed his mind, it's how he broke up with her." And to that, is there really a good way? Someone is inevitably going to get hurt. Breaks ups are messy and I would say the majority don't go perfectly smooth when they are one-sided. Arie told Becca he was struggling. She must have had some inkling that this could happen. Arie told the producers he changed his mind. I can believe there was a conversation with the producers telling him to go along with the breakup on film because Becca would get the next lead and Arie saying yes under those circumstances. That is believable to me. It's what they all signed up for - the good, the bad and the ugly. It will be interesting when the new season of the Bachelorette is over to see what she reflects on - if she understands where Arie is coming from.

Yes to me a good way to break up isn't to cheat. IMO.

Bet2Win wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:

Aria wrote:Every past lead I've heard from (Sean, Nick, Jason, Ben H, Ben F, Rachel, and Kaitlyn) has said that he COULD have put his foot down. They've said that production can be tough and they sympathize with the pressure there, but you can always put your foot down and they're not happy with the way he handled things. They've also said that they wish he had reached out to him because they would have advised him NOT to do it on camera, because it doesn't help him or Becca. It's just for the producers. IMO.  

Apparently from what Mills has indicated, this is the start of a new twist with after the FRC being part of the new story. 
Because it did not happen with anyone else, does not mean it was something that was not going to happen this season. Those are false assumptions, IMO. Except for Jason's season, there would have been no reason to attempt this post filming twist. 
No one, but production and cast are aware of what actually went on IMO. The viewer saw a lot of continued filming with Becca alone. It was IMO humiliating. I don't think she may have had any more control over that than the other filming at the SHV. 
Mills has indicated this next season is going to  strange season. That is yet to be seen, however, I think the post filming scenes have just begun. JMO

How can he know in advance it's going to be a strange season, even with story boarding, unless we are watching a truly scripted show touted as a reality show.  And if so, how long has this been going on.  I mean we knew that some cast members were given scripts through Intel (1F), but has it been more than that, and how long.

I need to read Amy Kaufman's book, although she probably doesn't come completely clean.  

When Mills said it was going to be a “strange” season he said that in the context of having a lead whose breakup was so close to filming. Generally it’s a few months longer. That’s what he meant by strange.

umngirl wrote:

Bet2Win wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:
Apparently from what Mills has indicated, this is the start of a new twist with after the FRC being part of the new story. 
Because it did not happen with anyone else, does not mean it was something that was not going to happen this season. Those are false assumptions, IMO. Except for Jason's season, there would have been no reason to attempt this post filming twist. 
No one, but production and cast are aware of what actually went on IMO. The viewer saw a lot of continued filming with Becca alone. It was IMO humiliating. I don't think she may have had any more control over that than the other filming at the SHV. 
Mills has indicated this next season is going to  strange season. That is yet to be seen, however, I think the post filming scenes have just begun. JMO

How can he know in advance it's going to be a strange season, even with story boarding, unless we are watching a truly scripted show touted as a reality show.  And if so, how long has this been going on.  I mean we knew that some cast members were given scripts through Intel (1F), but has it been more than that, and how long.

I need to read Amy Kaufman's book, although she probably doesn't come completely clean.  

When Mills said it was going to be a “strange” season he said that in the context of having a lead whose country breakup was so close to filming. Generally it’s a few months longer. That’s what he meant by strange.

Thanks for the clarification, I didn't see the interview.

Alanna wrote:Yes to me a good way to break up isn't to cheat. IMO.

Basically this. It's not that hard.

I know it goes round and round that if Arie had just tried with Becca and put Lauren out of his mind they could have worked out. I don't think so.  Once your heart is no longer in it (if if ever really was), the checking out process begins.  Arie has said he would have broken up with Becca even if Lauren did not take him back and I believe him.  His heart was not in it.  They might have lasted until the AFTR and then the flame went completely out and he officially breaks up with her.  Then he is free to contact Lauren without all the backlash.  That actually might have been much more painful for Becca than Arie telling her he only had one foot in and she deserved better, watching the relationship slowly wither away, then realizing he was longing for Lauren all along (even if he never acted on it).  But I also understand those that feel cheating is the most painful thing in relationships not the actual feelings for the other person. In other words secretly pine for Lauren but make it work with Becca and put Lauren out of his mind, do the right thing.

I always feel like it is 100 times lonlier to be in relationship where the other person doesn't feel it and trying to make it work than when they are completely in but that's me.  I think Becca seems happy to move on in this case and it is interesting that her fans friends and family are more angry than she is.  She said in one of her interviews after she watched she realized Arie's connection with Lauren and it made more sense to her.  JMO for the above.

IMHO it doesn't matter, that Becca has taken an extremely classy way to go about this. It doesn't excuse Arie's actions.

It's interesting, that some other leads get more backlash for having hard time to say goodbyes during the show, while Arie is excused for being a total flip-flopper, DMing other women etc AFTER the filming ended. Jmo.

Can I ask this question. What if Becca realized it was not going to work out with Arie and she wanted out. She is out of the bubble and not feeling it anymore, realizes they are not compatible or whatever. Maybe a scenario where someone very appealing slipped into her DMs and she wanted to pursue it and she was talking to him without Arie knowing waiting for the show to be over. However, she tells Arie she is struggling with their relationship and not all in. Would you feel the same way and feel she was cheating on Arie?

^
That didn't happen. It was Arie who sent other women DM and secret messages in order to get them back while engaged to Becca. It was Arie who dumped Becca on film. It was Arie who was the lead, not Becca.

Multiple other leads have managed to break up with their F1 after a very short time of filming ended without DMing other women and emotionally cheating. Jmo.

littlereddress wrote:Can I ask this question.  What if Becca realized it was not going to work out with Arie and she wanted out.  She is out of the bubble and not feeling it anymore, realizes they are not compatible or whatever.  Maybe a scenario where someone very appealing slipped into her DMs and she wanted to pursue it and she was talking to him without Arie knowing waiting for the show to be over.  However, she tells Arie she is struggling with their relationship and not all in.  Would you feel the same way and feel she was cheating on Arie?

I'm sorry, but I think you're still not understanding. Literally no one cares that Arie dumped Becca. Literally no one cares he went back to Lauren. It's the cheating people have an issue with. If Becca dumped Arie, no one would care. And, yes, if Becca was cheating on Arie, OF COURSE, people would have had an issue with it. If she was on another man's IG 11x/day, sending him secret messages through her IG, telling Arie she just wanted to ask for closure, while asking for another chance, all the time while she was sleeping with Arie and telling him she loved him and wanted to look for houses together, yes, people would have cared! Look at the way people went after Andi and Kaitlyn for sleeping with Nick! People are ALWAYS tougher on the women and there's no way she would have gotten away with cheating on her fiancé without getting called every name in the book. IMO.

littlereddress wrote:Can I ask this question.  What if Becca realized it was not going to work out with Arie and she wanted out.  She is out of the bubble and not feeling it anymore, realizes they are not compatible or whatever.  Maybe a scenario where someone very appealing slipped into her DMs and she wanted to pursue it and she was talking to him without Arie knowing waiting for the show to be over.  However, she tells Arie she is struggling with their relationship and not all in.  Would you feel the same way and feel she was cheating on Arie?

This basically already happened with Melisa Rycroft when she went back with Tye and basically met him at the airport. Yeah, I thought she was shady as crap too. Had Becca pulled what Arie did, I don’t see how I’d excuse her. Emotionally cheating, is empotionally cheating.


ETA: it doesn’t matter, cause this isn’t what happened in this particular scenario.