Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion #2

littlereddress wrote:I disagree.  I think if Lauren rejected him he would have gone back to his life.  Coutney, Syndey, a new girl, whoever would have wanted him.  I think he would have found new girls interested him after  his time on the bachelor.  I just don't buy it that it was because Lauren was willing to take him back.  I think he new he and Becca were not meant to be in the long  run.  JMO.  I don't think he would have been lonely every night. You can despise the dude but he seems to do well with women.  I just don't buy it.  JMO.

Then why not break up with Becca before getting confirmation that Lauren would take him back? IMO if Lauren turned him down he would've bit his tongue, done the media rounds with Becca talking about how they 'can't wait' to get married, and then broken up with her 3 months later like every other Bachelor who knew they weren't going to last with their F1  JMO.

littlereddress wrote:I disagree.  I think if Lauren rejected him he would have gone back to his life.  Coutney, Syndey, a new girl, whoever would have wanted him.  I think he would have found new girls interested him after  his time on the bachelor.  I just don't buy it that it was because Lauren was willing to take him back.  I think he new he and Becca were not meant to be in the long  run.  JMO.  I don't think he would have been lonely every night. You can despise the dude but he seems to do well with women. I just don't buy it.  JMO.

He knew he and Becca weren't meant to be in the long run, but kept stringing Becca on until he dumped her on tape, when she thought they be having a happy couples meeting. Before this he made sure Lauren would take him back. That makes him sound such a jerk, Imo. And his 'success' with women makes him no less of a jerk. I do think, that had Lauren rejected him, he would've faked it with Becca for a few months, and then ended it after a few months. No way, Imo, would ge have ended it right off, if Lauren had rejected him. Just based on his own actions. Jmo.

Hawaii Girl wrote:Then why not break up with Becca before getting confirmation that Lauren would take him back? IMO if Lauren turned him down he would've bit his tongue, done the media rounds with Becca talking about how they 'can't wait' to get married, and then broken up with her 3 months later like every other Bachelor who knew they weren't going to last with their F1  JMO.

IMO he would have broken up with Becca regardless of what he found out when he first made contact with Lauren. But I think that's only a hypothetical point  - and we can only speculate about what would have happened if she had - because she didn't. I also think that the hypothetical "making the media rounds with Becca and breaking up 3 months down the road" might have satisfied viewers and perhaps might have avoided a lot of media and fan criticism of Arie but would have been about the most selfish thing that Arie could possibly have done. Becca would have been led on for all of those additional months (which would have been hugely unfair to her) and it would have denied her the opportunity to be the next lead.

I also don't believe for a New York minute that Arie was the one who wanted the breakup filmed - that was production and ABC as Robert Mills said here:

Part of the importance of doing this on camera is it’s sort of a contract with the audience that you’re going to see the whole relationship from beginning to end on TV, and you’re taking that journey with them, and it’s important to understand the whole thing because now there will be no doubt in anyone’s mind what the reason is [that Arie and Becca broke up]. People can feel how they want to after seeing it, as opposed to just hearing about it.

IMO the timing of filming the breakup was not Arie's decision to make - that was all production's decision - as was much of the way it went down.

I think when Arie did first contact Lauren he found out very quickly that she thought he'd make a mistake (and at that point in time Arie too thought he'd made a mistake) and that she was hoping that he would realize it and come back for her. I think Lauren quickly found out that her hope had suddenly turned into her reality and that he wasn't just looking for closure with her - he wanted her. I'm hard pressed to imagine that under those circumstances, Lauren, or anyone else in that same situation, would have done anything other than make it clear that she was interested in a reconciliation if he was interested in one.

Especially since she was a girl who seriously thought she was getting engaged to him that day AND
after being told she wasn’t said :
I still love you !

USAGold wrote:Especially since she was a girl who seriously thought she was getting  engaged to him that day AND
after being told she wasn’t said : I still love you !

I don't think she ever stopped. I don't think her emotions ever turned to anger - or indifference. I think she always held out hope even though it seemed an unbelievably remote possibility.

hahaha...Arie has a new nick name - show pony!

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.refinery29.com/amp/2018/03/193893/britt-robertson-arie-luyendyk-jr-stuck-up-meeting

Bet2Win wrote:Okay, I'm joining Thread Killers Anonymous.  

At least I won't be alone anymore. 

For those questioning why he didn't break up with Becca before getting back with Lauren. He did break up with her. Go rewatch the episode when he meets Lauren again. He tells Lauren from the beginning of their conversation on the couch. That he ended things with Becca. And at that time he didn't know if Lauren would take him back or not. She said she forgave him and would go back towards the end of the conversation.

Someone earlier asked what exactly is emotional cheating. 

Specific example:

Being engaged (and I’m sorry, done with the show, supposed to be fostering relationship with F1) while obsessively looking at another woman’s IG. Emotional cheating is, literally, posting a hidden message (socks) IG story in the hopes the other woman sees it, while being engaged. 

That, my friends, is emotional cheating 101. Even grosser that Arie and Lauren trotted our that socks story like it was “cute.” I guess, for me and IMO, it takes way too much mental gymnastics to defend this guy. I think he sounds like a horrible partner. JMO.

The way I see it.

1. Arie told Becca he had to figure out his feelings for Lauren before he could continue with her. Becca agreed to this. We have this in interviews, and Becca hasn't denied this.

2. Becca later made the (imo) lame claim that Arie hid how strongly he felt about Lauren from her. Completely dishonest from Becca as he did tell her clearly that he had fallen in love with two women and was struggling with his feelings. We know from watching the show that dishonesty and immaturity is a deal breaker for Arie.

3. Arie spoke with Lauren and she told him that if he felt that way he should break up with Becca, and to not contact her again if he didn't. Lauren made it clear in interviews that this was not unconditional, she still loved him, but she wasn't sure if they as a couple could get over what happened with Becca.

4. Arie clearly had a panic attack before reuniting with Lauren. That's what we watch the show for, real feelings, real love!! Not some fake showmance!

Iluvbachette wrote:For those questioning why he didn't break up with Becca before getting back with Lauren. He did break up with her. Go rewatch the episode when he meets Lauren again. He tells Lauren from the beginning of their conversation on the couch. That he ended things with Becca. And at that time he didn't know if Lauren would take him back or not. She said she forgave him and would go back towards the end of the conversation.

Hi... broken record here. There was at least, but probably more private phone calls made to Lauren ... on either Dec 31, Jan 1, or the beginning of December depending on which of the stories you believe. Arie knew Lauren was a sure thing before he entered into that “staged” get together filmed bs. Becca was blindsided, but Lauren knew that was coming. This has been detailed extensively in this thread and that’s what posters are talking about. The show’s timeline of events don’t account for these private calls between Arie and Lauren before the break up.

Iluvbachette wrote:For those questioning why he didn't break up with Becca before getting back with Lauren. He did break up with her. Go rewatch the episode when he meets Lauren again. He tells Lauren from the beginning of their conversation on the couch. That he ended things with Becca. And at that time he didn't know if Lauren would take him back or not. She said she forgave him and would go back towards the end of the conversation.

He should've broken up with Becca before he started contacting Lauren at all, before he started sending his sock messages to Lauren. Breaking up after leading Becca on and emotionally cheating is why he's getting flack. And the filmed break up.