Bachelor 23 - Potential Lead - Discussion - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

I’m definitely a minority over Colton ... and I’m not getting why he’s being called immature?  because he’s a virgin??  IMO opinion that’s a sign of maturity, not the opposite.  He wasn’t some horny teenager who thought he’d become a “man” by sleeping with all the groupies that athletes get.  He made responsible choices ... and actually thought with the brain in his head!  He hasn’t been a player ... didn’t string girls along because he wasn’t feeling it with them .. and he’s being called immature because of it?  I’m definitely of the opinion that those traits should be admired and not mocked.  He spends time doing a much needed charity work ... but it seems he’d be more respected if spent his weekends in some girls bed.   Would that make him normal?  Just don’t get it 

@northernviewer I can only answer for myself but I found that Colton comes across as younger because of the way he handled things with Tia and how emotional he got in general. It's not that he’s a virgin but that he doesn’t seem to have dated much. I actually like Colton but I just don’t see him as someone who can handle dating so many women at once. I actually don’t see Blake as being much better, if at all.

northernviewer wrote:I’m definitely a minority over Colton ... and I’m not getting why he’s being called immature?  because he’s a virgin??  IMO opinion that’s a sign of maturity, not the opposite.  He wasn’t some horny teenager who thought he’d become a “man” by sleeping with all the groupies that athletes get.  He made responsible choices ... and actually thought with the brain in his head!  He hasn’t been a player ... didn’t string girls along because he wasn’t feeling it with them .. and he’s being called immature because of it?  I’m definitely of the opinion that those traits should be admired and not mocked.  He spends time doing a much needed charity work ... but it seems he’d be more respected if spent his weekends in some girls bed.   Would that make him normal?  Just don’t get it 

IMO there's a middle ground between sleeping with the entire cheerleading squad and being a virgin. And that's exploring the sexual side of your relationship when you are in your mid-20s and have been dating someone for say, six months. Honestly at that age, I wouldn't have had six months worth of patience in me. I would have been wondering what the heck was going on with that guy. In any event, the "virgin" discussion IMO is something that should happen in the fantasy suite, not on national TV . It's not something that I want to know about.

Beyond that, I always found it shady that Colton pursued Tia pre-season when she was still on the Bachelorette short list. Then he dropped her like a hot potato when Becca was announced -- and proceeded to be thoroughly puzzled that Tia developed feelings for him. That strikes me as opportunistic. If he had just messaged back and forth with Tia, while things were still up in the air for the Bachelorette, then fine. But flying her out to L.A. was over the top in my book.

Then he went to Paradise and dropped his initial plan to date around, because I guess he changed his mind about Tia yet again. Yes, I would call that immature. IMO when it comes to romantic relationships, Colton is all about Colton. He seems genuinely clueless about women, and I don't think that bodes well for someone who potentially has to date more than two dozen of them at the same time.

albean99 wrote:@northernviewer I can only answer for myself but I found that Colton comes across as younger because of the way he handled things with Tia and how emotional he got in general. It's not that he’s a virgin but that he doesn’t seem to have dated much. I actually like Colton but I just don’t see him as someone who can handle dating so many women at once. I actually don’t see Blake as being much better, if at all.

I understand what you’re saying but I see how he handled Tis in a different light. Sounds like he made it clear that he wasn’t all that into her when he told her he was going on the Bachette.  He again told her when she. Came on s GD ... he again TRIED to tell her in a kind way on BIP ... but with all her crying and other contestants pressuring him .. he decided to give it a try ... it didn’t work!!!  Case of he’s just not that into you.  Plain and simple.  IMO ... what h s guilty of is being too nice when trying not to hurt her feelings.  I’d prefer that to him being a pr*ck about it.  Hi s intentions were honourable IMO .... we can judge as to what he should have done but in the moment we choose words that will hurt a person the least.  Hindsight is 20/20 ..... in the moment .... not so much

@Amethyst
That “middle ground” you speak of is a personal choice.  Those who follow the Bible know that pre marital sex is considered wrong.  So, does that mean that all who follow that belief are immature because they don’t adhere to what modern society considers normal?  Colton’s personal “middle ground” is waiting for the right woman, which he hasn’t met yet.   Should he be forced to have sex because of peer pressure?  That’s messed IMO.  he’s following his own path, based on morals .... He’s got my respect even if he has no one else’s.

northernviewer wrote:I’m definitely a minority over Colton ... and I’m not getting why he’s being called immature?  because he’s a virgin??  IMO opinion that’s a sign of maturity, not the opposite.  He wasn’t some horny teenager who thought he’d become a “man” by sleeping with all the groupies that athletes get.  

Yeah, he only pretended to be "the man" who hooked up with girls and bragged about it in the locker rooms, as he admitted on Becca's season  Total sign of maturity there

northernviewer wrote:@Amethyst
That “middle ground” you speak of is a personal choice.  Those who follow the Bible know that pre marital sex is considered wrong.  So, does that mean that all who follow that belief are immature because they don’t adhere to what modern society considers normal?  Colton’s personal “middle ground” is waiting for the right woman, which he hasn’t met yet.   Should he be forced to have sex because of peer pressure?  That’s messed IMO.  he’s following his own path, based on morals .... He’s got my respect even if he has no one else’s.

Colton has never cited religious reasons. And he hasn't fallen in love at least once by age 26? To me the lack of sexual experience is symptomatic of a larger lack of relationship experience. And I personally don't want to see someone that inexperienced with women take on the lead role.

Putting aside all the Virgin stuff, I still don’t like the guy for the lead. He is sertilusly, 100% the most produced, calculated contestant we’ve ever had. It’s like he was out here, in every incarnation JUST to be the Bachelor. He’s the most inorganic lead we’ve ever had, and that’s saying something in a sea of Nick Viall’s, Jake Pavelka’s, and Ben Higgin’s .... who were also so totally just there to end up the lead guy.

1. Dated Aly Raisman previously and his “charity.”
2. All the pre show Tia drama. Convenient.
3. Clearly top 4 with Becca at producer prodding for his “destiny.”
4. BIP with Tia. No one cares. Go away.

It’s seriosuly like they looked at Nick’s long story arch with multiple back stories, and tried to force that kind of backstory on Colton in a matter of months. It’s lame. It’s over produced. 

It’s just too much. It’s too scripted. It’s not organic. No one cares. You may as well book him on DWTS now, cause that’s where this one is headed.

@northernviewer The fact that he's a virgin doesn't bother me--whether that be for religious reasons or simply wanting to wait for a serious relationship. Although as @Amethyst mentioned, he did cite a bizarre reason. He said on the show that he wasn't necessarily waiting for marriage either. Actually, I take that back, maybe I do care about his virginity, but purely because I know they'll shove it down our throats.

Disregarding the virginity storyline, he has had several SM tantrums already and has made some tone-deaf and immature comments. The MTA was basically like his meltdown. He is already so overtly trying to further his public persona, more than any other lead that I can remember (commenting on practically every BN-related IG post). How the whole Tia situation began is super shady--he happened to select the headshots Becca, Lauren Burnham, and Tia in December as people he would be the most into purely based on physical appearance, 3 of the top 4? Okay.

In addition to him probably not being serious about settling down (I can't see how he would be at 26 who has barely explored other relationships prior to this), for the most part, he also doesn't entertain me. I was occasionally enjoying him the last few BIP episodes, but solely because he was in those eps for maybe a few minutes max. I don't ask for much--just give me a guy who is somewhat believable in wanting to settle down or give me a guy who has shown to be entertaining.

Colton satisfies neither for me.

(All JMO.)

Norcalgal wrote:Don't know if any of you remember Jesse Palmer's season. He was about Colton's age but no longer a virgin. What bugged me about his season was how young the girls were and how they were like deer in headlights about Jesse. I am not interested in watching another kiddie show - give us some adults with experience.

That’s why now I find international shows are more interesting (at least the Russian B’ette, the 30 something lead is one of the most popular females in the country ) and much more fun to sleuth (no RS bs). Why can’t they find someone of high caliber to be the US lead?

TheLurker wrote:@northernviewer The fact that he's a virgin doesn't bother me--whether that be for religious reasons or simply wanting to wait for a serious relationship. Although as @Amethyst mentioned, he did cite a bizarre reason. He said on the show that he wasn't necessarily waiting for marriage either. Actually, I take that back, maybe I do care about his virginity, but purely because I know they'll shove it down our throats.

Disregarding the virginity storyline, he has had several SM tantrums already and has made some tone-deaf and immature comments. The MTA was basically like his meltdown. He is already so overtly trying to further his public persona, more than any other lead that I can remember (commenting on practically every BN-related IG post). How the whole Tia situation began is super shady--he happened to select the headshots Becca, Lauren Burnham, and Tia in December as people he would be the most into purely based on physical appearance, 3 of the top 4? Okay.

In addition to him probably not being serious about settling down (I can't see how he would be at 26 who has barely explored other relationships prior to this), for the most part, he also doesn't entertain me. I was occasionally enjoying him the last few BIP episodes, but solely because he was in those eps for maybe a few minutes max. I don't ask for much--just give me a guy who is somewhat believable in wanting to settle down or give me a guy who has shown to be entertaining.

Colton satisfies neither for me.

(All JMO.)

I am in total agreement. It's not that he is a virgin...it's the fact that I will have to listen about the fact that he is a virgin about a zillion times during his season. Add to that that he has the personality of white bread...not articulate, not funny, not in any way charismatic and is full of angst....with one woman. Heaven forbid if he has 25 or more to deal with. And we all know that those won't be as nice as Becca has been...or even Tia. They will be like sharks circling chum. There will be blood. Lots of blood.

When Colton was first identified as a contestant on Becca's season he appeared to be the "full package" deal at least on paper and I'm not surprised they are interested in him for the next lead. However, getting to know Colton through Becca's season, BIP, SM, etc. he really is lacking in life experience and self confidence. Those aren't characteristics he's going to find as the next lead and I don't want to waste a season watching him fumble around. He needs to gain his own voice and figure out what he wants so he can stand up for himself and stop being pushed around by his dad, fellow athletes, and the "Tia's" of this world.