Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion

Sprite wrote:

littlereddress wrote:With shilling though I think it depends on the product.  IMO there is a difference in shilling a usual product or service as opposed to a weight loss tea or hair vitamins which are border on questionable.  I don't mind the shilling as I think that how most of them want to make their money and they all do it in some form.  A watch or a beauty box I can understand but I am more skeptical of tummy tea or Sugar Bear vitamins, that sort of thing.  IMO Arie should just zip it about the tea though.  Let them sell tea if that is what they want.

Arie should just zip it period. I don't care that anyone shills....high class goods or cr*p. It is the rare snowflake that doesn't these days. It's the hypocrisy that I find objectionable. Don't make fun of those who do and act as if you are above it and then turn around and do it. For me, it is just part and parcel of who Arie is. 

If your lips are moving then you're ly-ly-lying, baby

Meghan Trainor - Lips Are Moving Lyrics | MetroLyrics

I don’t know if any product company would want to associate themselves with the lyingdyks anyway jmo

I don't know....the fact that he apparently first sought reassurance from Lauren before he broke it off with Becca certainly takes the shine off his supposed 'grand gesture' of going after the girl he really wanted. JMO.

I think that's incorrect, Arie told Becca if it was alright to call Lauren and sort out his feelings. Becca was alright with that, and figured he would choose her in the end, not realizing how deep his feelings for Lauren really were. Had she told Arie no he likely would have broken up without contacting Lauren first.

Arie made it clear he saw a future with both Lauren and Becca, so if Lauren would have told him to kick rocks, he'd have tried to make it work with Becca. Not ideal, but they could have made it work, and fallen deeper in love with each other.

I was wondering about something, somebody claimed Arie was messaging Lauren December 27th during a plane flight. Would it be possible the girl on the plane simply saw Arie check Lauren's Instagram? Arie claimed he checked her Instagram 10+ times a day, so during a 2 hour flight he'd have checked it at least once, possibly even reading new comments left by visitors.

Wow, that's totally normal.  

Anyway, bottom line is, if he felt so conflicted he should not have proposed. Or at the very least, break it off with Becca prior to contacting Lauren (or attempting to). He admitted he wasn't being completely truthful to Becca, in terms of where his head/heart was at. Becca certainly was the bigger person, trusting Arie to work through his emotions and being ok with him contacting an ex. Him wanting to reconnect with the F2 to 'sort out his feelings', should have raised alarm bells for Becca. JMO.

Let's all chill out and take a moment to laugh at this video.

Mommyof2 wrote:

Let's all chill out and take a moment to laugh at this video.  

Arie foreshadowed he shadiness in breaking up back then. Douche. IMO.

 
https://www.instagram.com/p/BgT_r0Wg90s/?taken-by=theellenshow

everglow wrote:

Alanna wrote:Seriously, Arie was going to stay with Becca if Lauren wasn’t interested? Who acts like this? It’s a life partner, not one pair of shoes versus another if the first are on backorder. This guy has issues imo.

Actually if you are believe him at his word and I do personally believe his sincerity here, Arie said in this interview that he would have broken up with Becca regardless of whether or not Lauren accepted him back because it wouldn't be fair to Becca to be with someone who was not wholeheartedly in the relationship.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMmDE8gDd5c

I also do not believe that Arie would have stayed with Becca. (According to Courtney in the RS podcast - who in this case I believe) Arie had set himself a timeline - that he would try to work through his feelings for Lauren until the first of the year, and that if he was unable to sort that out by then he would do "something". IMO He did not keep this behind Becca's back - he told her about his struggles and that's been reported in numerous posts here. IMO his feelings as of the first of the year hadn't changed so he then started doing the things that he felt he had to do and IMO it was not only his feelings for Lauren that needed action but also his belief that it was not fair to Becca to stay with her knowing that he could only be "half in" with her, and that breaking up with Becca "soon enough" would give her the opportunity to be the next lead and IMO he wanted her to have that chance. If the show told Jason that they wanted Melissa for the next lead  source I believe that they would have told Arie the same thing.

IMO by New Year's Eve Arie wanted one thing more than any other - which was to see if he could reconcile things with Lauren. His problem IMO is that he was not in the driver's seat - the producers were. As Amy Kaufman writes in her new book, they will use a combination of threats and positive reinforcement to get what they want - her recount of how a producer demonstrated manipulations over lunch and actually messed with her head was chilling, but nothing really surprising to me. In Arie's case they would likely have played this similarly to what they did to Jason (source above) "Work with us and we'll let you have Molly.' That's what they told me." - if Arie worked with them they would let him contact Lauren. IMO the timing of all of this was not Arie's - it was the producers.

I do not believe that Arie wanted this filmed. Robert Mills said this: source

Robert Mills wrote:Part of the importance of doing this on camera is it’s sort of a contract with the audience that you’re going to see the whole relationship from beginning to end on TV, and you’re taking that journey with them, and it’s important to understand the whole thing because now there will be no doubt in anyone’s mind what the reason is [that Arie and Becca broke up]. People can feel how they want to after seeing it, as opposed to just hearing about it.

and that leaves little doubt in my mind who it was that wanted the breakup filmed. IMO Arie had no choice - if he wanted to contact Lauren before "it was too late" he had to work with the producers and give them what they wanted. It's also my opinion that the timing of all this was controlled by the producers - not by Arie.

IMO they really don't care how it looks from the outside - they only cared about getting a great backstory for Becca as the next lead. They gave tons more airtime to the breakup and left out a significant portion of Arie's reconciliation with Lauren: "They didn't show it on TV during the finale, but Arie, 36, met with Pamela and Lauren's dad, Dave, when he came to win back Lauren, 26, after ending things with his first fiancée, Becca Kufrin." source Pretty indicative IMO of what it was they really wanted. Arie gave up the proverbial pound of flesh to get what he wanted; IMO he probably thinks it was worth it.

JMHO

According to Arie and Lauren themselves, he was contacting Lauren behind the producers' back, so he could have easily broken up with Becca behind the producers' back too. According to Courtney, she advised him to call Lauren and not put anything incriminating down in DMs, because if Lauren did reject him, there would be proof and she could easily show the screenshots to the world and it would be humiliating for him. The fact that this was done without the producers' permission and my opinion that Arie was so calculated in making sure that a) Becca thought that this was a closure call, instead of a "can we get back together" call and b) there was no hard evidence if Lauren said no, tells me that Arie had no intention of dumping Becca if Lauren said no. IMO.

littlereddress wrote:I saw this tweet from Catherine Lowe.  I wonder if her friendship with Arie is over or if she feels the show pushed in a way they shouldn't have.  She has to know a little more than the average public what went on with Arie.  

I think the latter; I think Catherine is so done with reality TV.

After reading Amy Kaufman's book, DWTS, Celebrity Wife Swap and Marriage Boot Camp seem to have had nothing but a negative impact on their relationship. IMO Arie and Lauren would be well advised to skip any more reality TV appearances and opportunities and IMO a TV wedding is very questionable also.

Kashathediva wrote:

sosleepy wrote:I think bottom line, Emily had some atrocious guys all around. I agree Jef is also off... but then I don’t personally think Arie is anything to write home about either. I think they are basically two peas in a pod. Add in Emily’s #4 Chris “retired” Bukowski, and only cheeseball Sean is really worth anything from that sad little lot. All my opinion of course. 

Ok, sorry... I fully realize this isn’t Emily’s thread and I’m off topic. I did love her season though and enjoyed both Jef and Arie at the time. You live and learn though.

IDK to me there is a huge difference about representing a business as being charitable and taking money from people(including members of this forum) under the ruse you are providing fresh water for those who don't have in 3rd world countries when in reality the only place that money is going is your own pockets. 
Just me of course.
Yes, the thread has been derailed, but in my eye there is absolutely no comparison. Lots of innocent people were bilked, including those needing water.

This is fact?

IMO it’s very simple, if Arie was a stand up man who realized he made a poor choice and first fiancée wasn’t the one, he would have graciously exited her life and found the woman he truly wanted. That’s it. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. 

Instead we are dealing with some timeline hopping BS, alluring sock pictures being traded, sm stalking, alleged text messages, etc etc. If he was a decent man who was single when he got with the women he truly wanted, there would be far fewer issues all around imo. But he’s not a decent man imo, he exactly what every woman he’s dated has said he is and what I’m guessing Lauren will say imo in about 5 to 7 months too.

I always found it interesting that Arie knew enough NOT to involve TPTB five years ago when he went to deliver his journal to his last true love. IMO, it was b/c he didn't know the outcome and wanted to avoid a public rebuke. And here we are, years later, history repeats itself -- he secured Lauren's favor prior to involving TPTB.

But when he should want to save someone else from public humiliation, someone he actually liked and proposed to no less, he's a puppet of production? I can't follow this reasoning due to his past behavior.

I don't know what's worse: being a weak-willed puppet or a jerky narcissist. Both are bad, hence my opinion that Arie is a crappy person.

I also don't buy the line from TPTB, and now Arie, that the break-up needed to be filmed to promote Becca as the bachelorette. It absolutely could've been handled a 1,000 different ways and she'd still be filming the 'ette right now. IMO. Would those scenarios have been as dramatic? Probably not, but hopefully way more humane.

Aria wrote:The fact that this was done without the producers' permission and my opinion that Arie was so calculated in making sure that a) Becca thought that this was a closure call, instead of a "can we get back together" call and b) there was no hard evidence if Lauren said no, tells me that Arie had no intention of dumping Becca if Lauren said no. IMO.

It's my opinion that Becca would have known she was second choice had she watched the show, the only reason Arie proposed to Becca was (IMO) Lauren's mother completely and utterly ruining the hometown date, and Arie's parents convincing him Lauren is emotionally fragile. It's my opinion that when Arie broke up with Lauren she showed him how mature and emotionally stable she is. Under the stress of the situation it took him a few days to figure it all out and realize he picked the wrong girl.

I do agree Arie would have tried to make it work with Becca, but she would have had to accept she was second choice, which might be more than they could have overcome.