Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion

I'm reading Amy Kaufman's new book about The Bachelor and in chapter 6 she talks about how the show will use adrenaline dates because of the brain's reaction to the chemical cocktail released on them; one gets the impression that they could make a fur seal fall in love with a great white shark (at least for a little while) if that's what they wanted to show us. Such is the power of "the bubble" and they have no moral compass against doing this which is the real secret behind the bubble and the chilling reality of Reality TV. IMO it's little wonder that so many couples don't make it past that bubble because there's little real about it.

But it also occurs to me that there is something different about this season and specifically about the couple that this thread is all about. Yes - they started out in the same bubble that is created every season - but they got out of it. That time frame from say November 17 (FRC filming) to New Year's Eve was out of the bubble - back with family and friends and in a semi-normal life. And they found out that they each still had feelings for the other that just didn't go away; perhaps they even intensified. It seems that they both made a conscious decision to risk whatever backlash they knew would be coming and whatever uncertainties they might have to make certain to have a chance, and IMO this is what Lauren meant when she said:

“I was just like, ‘We need to do it"

source

Lucas15 wrote:I'm reading Amy Kaufman's new book about The Bachelor and in chapter 6 she talks about how the show will use adrenaline dates because of the brain's reaction to the chemical cocktail released on them; one gets the impression that they could make a fur seal fall in love with a great white shark (at least for a little while) if that's what they wanted to show us. Such is the power of "the bubble" and they have no moral compass against doing this which is the real secret behind the bubble and the chilling reality of Reality TV. IMO it's little wonder that so many couples don't make it past that bubble because there's little real about it.

But it also occurs to me that there is something different about this season and specifically about the couple that this thread is all about. Yes - they started out in the same bubble that is created every season - but they got out of it. That time frame from say November 17 (FRC filming) to New Year's Eve was out of the bubble - back with family and friends and in a semi-normal life. And they found out that they each still had feelings for the other that just didn't go away; perhaps they even intensified. It seems that they both made a conscious decision to risk whatever backlash they knew would be coming and whatever uncertainties they might have to make certain to have a chance, and IMO this is what Lauren meant when she said:

“I was just like, ‘We need to do it"

source

Very true about the adrenaline dates. There is also the concept that people want what they can't have which for some personalities is the same as the adrenaline date theory. IMO Arie's past dating patterns put him into this category which is why the out of the bubble time may have intensified his feelings for Lauren, she was out of reach. Regarding Lauren's feelings during that time, I still find her to be competitive and attention loving, she wanted that proposal and all that comes with being engaged to TB, so having Arie still pining for her added to her feelings for Arie. All IMO. Time will tell with these two. I don't see them in the same category of Jordan and JoJo, Chris and Peyton, Des and Chris, and others, where they are living lives outside of Bachnation and not relying on publicity to pay the bills. Arie may have family money to fall back on so might not need the typical speakers fee but I do think he craves attention and wants the perks that usually go with being the bachelor. I definitely think Lauren loves attention too. It's only a matter of time until we see them on Couples Therapy just like we've seen countless others. IMO

I think they’re both in the adrenaline/bubble phase. It’s the you and me against the world feeling, being hounded by papz. They seem to both love the attention. Give it 6 months when people would barely pay attention to them. IMO

people.com/peopletv/video/bs/00000161-fdf4-d960-a767-fdf65cb20000/the-bachelors-arie-luyendyk

Some new info in this interview.

1. Arie now says he didn't pick Lauren at the final rose because he worried she'd run out on him when the going would get rough.

2. Arie texted Lauren on new years eve, but she didn't text back until a few days later, possibly after she saw the hint he left on instagram. So that changes things a little bit.

They keep changing their story. Not a good look. JMHO

SarahD wrote:I think they’re both in the adrenaline/bubble phase. It’s the you and me against the world feeling, being hounded by papz.  They seem to both love the attention. Give it 6 months when people would barely pay attention to them.  IMO

. That's what everyone said about JoJo and Jordan, Mr. Raya playa.  Jordan was NOT well liked when he was on the show.  I always said that I would be going down with the ship, but lo and behold, they are still going strong today.  

Arie and Lauren have just as good of a chance as any other new Bach couple, imho.

They really need to stop talking. The more they (or certain friends of Arie's) talk, the worse they sound IMO. It becomes more and more clear that IMO Arie never took his engagement to becca even semi-seriously (giving her good reason to say that he took that from her), emotionally cheated on her the entire time, and willingly misled her by talking about buying houses together, how confident he felt about proposing, and how he and Lauren couldn't have conversations together, when he was lying through his teeth. Ugh, he's the worst. I don't know how any woman can trust him, when he's able to lie so easily and without any guilt. IMO.

Man idk, they’re looking so freaking bad imo!! Arie especially. Even if he’s serious about Lauren now, his behavior is just very distasteful imo. I would never trust him as a woman.

OT: I knew little about Jordan when I started following the season of Jojo and mostly I read here, about his "reputation", but I've never seen an act (faked) or heard him say something (lie)  that later he wouldn't back up with ... so there hasn't been a situation (from the moment he showed up on Jojo's season till today) that would made me doubt him (his words) ... Arie not so much ... he has made hollow statements, promises, told one thing and later something different ... while Jordan has proven to be commited from the moment he decided to stop being the "baddy" past-self ... Arie has been talking about the commitment and yet he has to show it. **IMO**So for me, there's a huge gap between the "former" baddies ... in one I don't have any grounds (current) to doubt ... the other has still looots to prove (and I won't hold my breath).

@happygolucky, I didn’t reply about the Jordan comparison (gold standard baddy ) because I didn’t want to derail the thread but totally different situations and guys imo. Couldn’t agree with you more. No comparison whatsoever to me.

happygolucky wrote:OT: I knew little about Jordan when I started following the season of Jojo and mostly I read here, about his "reputation", but I've never seen an act (faked) or heard him say something (lie)  that later he wouldn't back up with ... so there hasn't been a situation (from the moment he showed up on Jojo's season till today) that would made me doubt him (his words) ... Arie not so much ... he has made hollow statements, promises, told one thing and later something different ... while Jordan has proven to be commited from the moment he decided to stop being the "baddy" past-self ... Arie has been talking about the commitment and yet he has to show it. So for me, there's a huge gap between the "former" baddies ... in one I don't have any grounds (current) to doubt ... the other has still looots to prove (and I won't hold my breath).

Jordan had to send screenshots of his involvement on Raya.  RS was repeatedly throwing him under the bus.  Brittany, the ex, kept dragging him through the mud too.  JoJo would cry on the phone with him because of the negativity.  I remember it well.  It was a mess at the time, but like with anything, it eventually died down.  Jmo.

Back on topic now. Lauren and Arie.

@happygolucky not only this, but Jordan was in a long term relationship from 20-24, so he was literally single for less than two years before he met JoJo, so that means about two years of casual dating/hook ups. He was in his mid twenties and not pushing 40.

I do get the gist of the comparison, however, there are some very large differences IMO. I hope it all works out for Arie and Lauren though. I do think they seem to genuinely love each other and I would never wish for someone’s unhappiness. I do think it’s possible for someone to change once they’ve met the one, so hopefully that’s the case here. All JMO