Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion

I think it just comes down to whether that ex/friend respects your relationship. We saw that Courtney simply didn't respect Sydney/Arie's relationship or she wouldn't be taunting her with "if only your girl knew!". Will she change now that he's with Lauren? I think that's to be seen. I do get the impression that Courtney is a sneaky, underhanded, manipulative type of friend who always wants to be #1 with her men. I personally wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her, but, ultimately, it comes down to Arie and whether he's trustworthy and will have Lauren's back. Again, though, I wouldn't trust him either. IMO.

tiger wrote: She admits in the same interview that she was in contact with Arie while he was still engaged to Becca and that she encouraged him to dump Becca for her. She may not have been the first to make contact, but she engaged in the conversation and egged him on snipped

This is what she said. We discussed this a few pages back. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, however changing up the words that were actually used in the quote is confusing. If there is another quote where she specifically said she egged him on, I'd be interested in reading that article. TYIA

GuardianAngel wrote:
snipped..
Where did this come from? When did Lauren egged and prodded him to leave Becca? I may have missed vid's or articles, but I don't recall that.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/tv/amp19153544/lauren-burnham-defends-arie-luyendyk-jr-bachelor/

“I was just like, ‘We need to do it, you need to take the risk if this means a lot to you and you need to follow your heart. If not, then we don’t need to talk anymore,’”

No wonder I was confused. I guess we'll have to disagree. IMO She made it clear to him that he needs to decide what to do or they won't talk anymore, IMHO that's not egging on and forcing him to leave Becca.

As far as Sydney and especially Guistina, it appears to me they were ok with the way things were otherwise they could have told him to get lost much sooner. The fact remains, he has never said ILY to any other women, and he didn't propose to any other women prior to going on the show. If he wanted a life long relationship with either of them, or any other's he would have said so.

stuckinsc wrote:@mindless and they communicated for a while, enough for him to want to date her, but seemingly not enough to take her seriously. So he magically between July of 2017 and September of 2017 suddenly decided he wanted marriage, because up to July he was spending a lot of time with a woman he wasn’t serious about instead of searching for a woman he could be serious with. IMO

Did the casting phone call “magically “ make Arie want marriage?

Regarding the timing, I don’t think it was magical. I think his brother Alec, who’s 25, getting married in July 2017 had a huge impact on Arie. Seeing a sibling get serious, especially a much younger one, can make someone take stock of their own relationships. IMO, Alec’s wedding was a major wake up call for Arie.

Arie certainly has a type. IMO  Blonde, passive aggressive, and a pushover. IMO

GuardianAngel wrote:

tiger wrote: She admits in the same interview that she was in contact with Arie while he was still engaged to Becca and that she encouraged him to dump Becca for her. She may not have been the first to make contact, but she engaged in the conversation and egged him on snipped

This is what she said. We discussed this a few pages back. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, however changing up the words that were actually used in the quote is confusing. If there is another quote where she specifically said she egged him on, I'd be interested in reading that article. TYIA

GuardianAngel wrote:
snipped..
Where did this come from? When did Lauren egged and prodded him to leave Becca? I may have missed vid's or articles, but I don't recall that.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/tv/amp19153544/lauren-burnham-defends-arie-luyendyk-jr-bachelor/

“I was just like, ‘We need to do it, you need to take the risk if this means a lot to you and you need to follow your heart. If not, then we don’t need to talk anymore,’”

No wonder I was confused. I guess we'll have to disagree. IMO She made it clear to him that he needs to decide what to do or they won't talk anymore, IMHO that's not egging on and forcing him to leave Becca.

As far as Sydney and especially Guistina, it appears to me they were ok with the way things were otherwise they could have told him to get lost much sooner. The fact remains, he has never said ILY to any other women, and he didn't propose to any other women prior to going on the show. If he wanted a life long relationship with either of them, or any other's he would have said so.

Saying, "We need to do it. You need to take the risk..." is encouraging him to break it off and pursue a relationship with her, aka, egging him on, regardless of whether or not she followed that up with a threat not to talk to him again if he didn't leave Becca. I never said Lauren forced Arie to leave Becca. But she absolutely, indisputably did encourage him to.

I wonder if Lauren would still think there was nothing wrong with what she and Arie did if she were in Becca's shoes and he called off their engagement to take up with an ex he'd been communicating with on social media. My guess is no, but that's just my opinion.

tiger wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:

tiger wrote: She admits in the same interview that she was in contact with Arie while he was still engaged to Becca and that she encouraged him to dump Becca for her. She may not have been the first to make contact, but she engaged in the conversation and egged him on snipped

This is what she said. We discussed this a few pages back. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, however changing up the words that were actually used in the quote is confusing. If there is another quote where she specifically said she egged him on, I'd be interested in reading that article. TYIA

GuardianAngel wrote:
snipped..
Where did this come from? When did Lauren egged and prodded him to leave Becca? I may have missed vid's or articles, but I don't recall that.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/tv/amp19153544/lauren-burnham-defends-arie-luyendyk-jr-bachelor/

“I was just like, ‘We need to do it, you need to take the risk if this means a lot to you and you need to follow your heart. If not, then we don’t need to talk anymore,’”

No wonder I was confused. I guess we'll have to disagree. IMO She made it clear to him that he needs to decide what to do or they won't talk anymore, IMHO that's not egging on and forcing him to leave Becca.

As far as Sydney and especially Guistina, it appears to me they were ok with the way things were otherwise they could have told him to get lost much sooner. The fact remains, he has never said ILY to any other women, and he didn't propose to any other women prior to going on the show. If he wanted a life long relationship with either of them, or any other's he would have said so.

Saying, "We need to do it. You need to take the risk..." is encouraging him to break it off and pursue a relationship with her, aka, egging him on, regardless of whether or not she followed that up with a threat not to talk to him again if he didn't leave Becca. I never said Lauren forced Arie to leave Becca. But she absolutely, indisputably did encourage him to.

I wonder if Lauren would still think there was nothing wrong with what she and Arie did if she were in Becca's shoes and he called off their engagement to take up with an ex he'd been communicating with on social media. My guess is no, but that's just my opinion.

It's hard for me to remember exactly what I say. Word being exact.
IF the exact wording was:

“I was just like, ‘We need to do it, you need to take the risk if this means a lot to you and you need to follow your heart. If not, then we don’t need to talk anymore,’”

Logic, simple geometry. If, then. 
So, IMO, IF the wording was correct and IF the wording was: IF this means a lot to you(A), then we need to do it, you need to take the risk and follow your heart.(B)
IF not, then we don't need to talk anymore.
This is simple debate and logic which is somewhat based on geometry.  In my mind this is how I think with logic and geometry.  If, then. 
IMO this has nothing to do with egging, encouraging, etc. It's simple logic: If, then. Theorems.

Lucas15 wrote:

Stone_Hedge wrote:It’s what they already have , a friendship where she already knows some of Arie’s secrets.

I wouldn't consider that a threat. Arie has a past. Lauren has a past. When I met my wife, I had a past. And she had a past. It's hard to find anyone these days that doesn't have a past. But a past is just that - it's in the past - and what matters is what happens in the present and the future.

JMHO but I think Courtney has been very supportive of Arie and his search for "the one" and I think she would be way more of a help to his relationship with Lauren than a hindrance. I could actually see Courtney and Lauren developing a friendship; maybe a very close one actually.

And I totally disagree. Lauren is a woman who Arie has said needs constant reassurance. IMO no way would she want someone who knows Arie that intimately...physically and emotionally...anywhere near Arie. At this point, she knows his reputation. Courtney is someone he has known for years. They have been fwb for a long time and Courtney has admitted she wanted and hoped for more with Arie even when he had other women on the side. She has been a friend, a lover, a confidant, a sounding board and is someone he seems to really trust. Courtney can say all she wants now that she realises it's not going to happen and they will be strictly friends from here on in, but IMO an insecure woman will not believe that no matter how much they insist. My money is on Lauren making sure he gives up Courtney. She will be watching him like a hawk. One miss step from him and she will be cracking that whip.

tiger wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:

tiger wrote: She admits in the same interview that she was in contact with Arie while he was still engaged to Becca and that she encouraged him to dump Becca for her. She may not have been the first to make contact, but she engaged in the conversation and egged him on snipped

This is what she said. We discussed this a few pages back. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, however changing up the words that were actually used in the quote is confusing. If there is another quote where she specifically said she egged him on, I'd be interested in reading that article. TYIA

GuardianAngel wrote:
snipped..
Where did this come from? When did Lauren egged and prodded him to leave Becca? I may have missed vid's or articles, but I don't recall that.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/tv/amp19153544/lauren-burnham-defends-arie-luyendyk-jr-bachelor/

“I was just like, ‘We need to do it, you need to take the risk if this means a lot to you and you need to follow your heart. If not, then we don’t need to talk anymore,’”

No wonder I was confused. I guess we'll have to disagree. IMO She made it clear to him that he needs to decide what to do or they won't talk anymore, IMHO that's not egging on and forcing him to leave Becca.

As far as Sydney and especially Guistina, it appears to me they were ok with the way things were otherwise they could have told him to get lost much sooner. The fact remains, he has never said ILY to any other women, and he didn't propose to any other women prior to going on the show. If he wanted a life long relationship with either of them, or any other's he would have said so.

Saying, "We need to do it. You need to take the risk..." is encouraging him to break it off and pursue a relationship with her, aka, egging him on, regardless of whether or not she followed that up with a threat not to talk to him again if he didn't leave Becca. I never said Lauren forced Arie to leave Becca. But she absolutely, indisputably did encourage him to.

I wonder if Lauren would still think there was nothing wrong with what she and Arie did if she were in Becca's shoes and he called off their engagement to take up with an ex he'd been communicating with on social media. My guess is no, but that's just my opinion.

I don't see it that way. Obviously Arie contacted her because he was struggling with his decision and Lauren I'm sure confirmed to him that she was still thinking about him too. She IMO made it clear that if he had these feelings for her too than he needed to take the risk and follow his heart but if he didn't, than she had no business talking to him. In a world where you can have affairs through text, social media and what not, she put her foot down and said basically, I will only entertain this idea if you follow your heart. I don't think that is egging him on. She didn't contact him first even though she was still thinking about him too. If you say she gave him an ultimatum, what was she supposed to do than? Keep talking to him and meet up with him while still engaged? The heart wants what the heart wants. But she didn't want to keep pursuing anything unless that relationship was over and that was Arie's risk to take. IMO

I am not friends with my ex’s, mostly because my few exes are exes for a reason. I am curious, for those who are friends with the exes, was it immediate while your new relationship was starting or did it become more friendly again after your permanent relationship was more established?

Lauren showed herself to like lots of reassurance, so IMO, that doesn’t go with exes being involved, at least not at first.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/tv/amp19153544/lauren-burnham-defends-arie-luyendyk-jr-bachelor/

For me the important part of this quote is the beginning:

“I was just like, ‘We need to do it, you need to take the risk if this means a lot to you and you need to follow your heart. If not, then we don’t need to talk anymore,’”

IMO that sets the tone and yes, eggs him on. Yes, she threatens to cut off contact at the end, but not before she got into his head and encouraged him. I think she is a good little manipulator. I think Arie is underestimating Lauren and thinks he has someone who will do his bidding, but IMO he will be in for a rude awakening.

@Sprite True and really, what RISK? They both echo that word but it’s meaningless . There was no risk involved in their case. They weren’t jeopardizing anything since it was easy for Arie to cut Becca loose once he knew he secured Lauren, and secure he did. Shows they made sure they got their story straight prior to facing the public . 
Jmo

Stone_Hedge wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:

Stone_Hedge wrote:Then I thought how uncomfortable it’s going to be for Lauren when she sees Courtney and Arie working together knowing there’s a history and private jokes between them like this one. Should be interesting.

IMO there are two things in Arie's past that the events of the last couple of months (including the last week ) should show Lauren that she has nothing to worry about:

1 - That he has lingering feelings for Becca and might be wondering what might have been had he done things differently. He did do things differently and all that did was confirm that he wanted to be with Lauren.
2 - That his long term friendship with Courtney could evolve into something more than friends. From the RS podcast she can see that Courtney was open to (and perhaps hoping for) something more with Arie, but Arie passed that opportunity up for a big roll of the dice to find what / who he was really looking for - which wasn't a romantic relationship with Courtney; IMO he could have had that if that was what he wanted.
JMHO

For me it’s not what they could have . It’s what they already have , a friendship where she already knows some of Arie’s secrets. . She obviously knew something was going down in Thailand for example using that particular emoji. To say, If your girl only knew is definitely an inside slight to his new love that his new love probably doesn’t know or realize about Arie. Jmo

Yeah, I totally agree. As much as she tries to come off as supportive, she's still in love with him imo. That comment was openly taking a shot at Sydney and she was already undermining Lauren a little in that podcast imo. Like she was laughing when RS was saying Lauren was boring. And just being his confidant in all this and the Arie expert is not great for Lauren. The last thing he should do is run to Courtney when he's mad at Lauren. I don't dislike Courtney, I just think you can't be friends with a guy if you're still hoping he'll come back to you. It's not good for any of them. all jmo

I've wondered if Arie might be a person that avoids conflict at all cost. It could explain why he didn't break up with Sydney until she confronted him. Imagine his stress of breaking up with 29 women if that's the case! @stuckinsc, maybe it's not so much that he didn't want to get married, but that he doesn't pro-actively take charge and move his life along. Maybe that is the kick in the butt his dad speaks of? If so, Lauren's boundaries for getting back together could be what he needs. I hope she'll have boundaries for him with Courtney too.

OT, Why are people saying Arie has enough money for this or that? Does truck racing pay much? About how much would he have gotten from that 2nd place win he just got in AU? I figured he got into real estate because he needed more money. I don't care, but I wonder if they'll sell his condo and buy a house and if so, about what he'd have to spend on one. I know, not my business, but I'm so curious.  I love Scottsdale, but I'd have a hard time finding a house to buy there. The architecture style, especially the flat roof pueblo style is not my thing.