Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion

ukglasgowkiiss wrote:

Diana wrote:Calling paps on themselves JMHO  these two need a lesson on what “staying out of the spotlight” means (IMO)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-5488715/Bachelor-star-Arie-Luyendyk-Jr-takes-Lauren-Burnham-home-Arizona.html

Yeah, what hapened to getting out the country on a holiday?

They were scheduled to attend the Indy car race yesterday. I'm sure they will be going soon.

Amberish wrote:

Mommyof2 wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:
That is what I came away thinking. I know per Sydney, neither said ILY to each other the entire expanse of their relationship.

And how long was their relationship?  

According to Courtney, Arie wants marriage and children and broke off with Sydney after realizing they weren't where he thought they should be after dating for a year.

According to Sydney (she provided text messages showing the dated correspondence on 7/31 ) they got into a fight earlier that day, because Arie had told her he was going to yoga with Kristina, Sydney said she knew he was going with Courtney and called him out for lying, he admitted it and asked why did it matter, and she said it was because Kristina was married and he had never slept with Kristina. They got into a fight, with him saying he couldn't be himself around her. They broke up that evening.

IMO, this goes back to what Courtney said about how Sydney wasn't asking him the tough questions. I think that Sydney was overly naive and trusting for most of their relationship and once she started to wise up a bit and ask those tough questions, Arie decided that he didn't want to deal with that and broke it off. I think this is what people have expressed concern regarding Lauren, that she's not really asking him the tough questions and is blindly trusting him and he likes that, because it's easy and it allows him to partake in his extracurricular activities, but if she starts, it might cause issues. All, IMO!

I was watching an old clip when Arie and his mom spoke Dutch in front of Emily and how uncomfortable it was for her. Then I thought how uncomfortable it’s going to be for Lauren when she sees Courtney and Arie working together knowing there’s a history and private jokes between them like this one. Should be interesting Jmo



Source
RS podcast with Sydney

Kashathediva wrote:
I would probably have close to 100 husbands by now if everyone I had dated long term I was in love with and married. Thank goodness that was and is not the case. JMO

I was a bridesmaid 13 times before I was married so I can relate to this comment!

Stone_Hedge wrote:Then I thought how uncomfortable it’s going to be for Lauren when she sees Courtney and Arie working together knowing there’s a history and private jokes between them like this one. Should be interesting.

IMO there are two things in Arie's past that the events of the last couple of months (including the last week ) should show Lauren that she has nothing to worry about:

1 - That he has lingering feelings for Becca and might be wondering what might have been had he done things differently. He did do things differently and all that did was confirm that he wanted to be with Lauren.
2 - That his long term friendship with Courtney could evolve into something more than friends. From the RS podcast she can see that Courtney was open to (and perhaps hoping for) something more with Arie, but Arie passed that opportunity up for a big roll of the dice to find what / who he was really looking for - which wasn't a romantic relationship with Courtney; IMO he could have had that if that was what he wanted.
JMHO

Lucas15 wrote:

Mommyof2 wrote:I was just curious how long they dated and yes, I think it is possible to date someone for a while and not be in love with them.   Sometimes something is missing from the relationship that keeps you from being "all in."  Sydney has thrown shade at Arie several times and now I can understand why.  Jmo.

According to what Sydney said on her podcast with RS, their first date was on July 19, 2016 and they broke up on July 31, 2017 - so they dated for a little over a year. According to Sydney they had been in contact before the first date; contrary to some perceptions, Arie did not "slide into Sydney's DM" - she described how she slid into Arie's DM. She said contacted Arie in January 2015 to see if they could get together (because it would be "cool") but Arie was in Detroit at the time. They talked on and off for a "couple of months" until July 2016 when they had their first date.

IMO that Jan 2015 date Sydney gave may have been misstated because if the first contact was Jan 2016 and they didn't date until July 2016 that's the "couple of months" she stated - otherwise it's well over a year.

source - Sydney podcast with RS

Sydney slid into his DM's Jan 2016 when she was visiting her best friend who lives in Phoenix. She posted several pictures from Scottsdale during that trip, so it was definitely 2016. I actually find it quite interesting that they were talking on IG for months before they met. Seems like Arie enjoys flirting with women on SM even when there's no immediate payoff. JMO.

Lucas15 wrote:

Stone_Hedge wrote:Then I thought how uncomfortable it’s going to be for Lauren when she sees Courtney and Arie working together knowing there’s a history and private jokes between them like this one. Should be interesting.

IMO there are two things in Arie's past that the events of the last couple of months (including the last week ) should show Lauren that she has nothing to worry about:

1 - That he has lingering feelings for Becca and might be wondering what might have been had he done things differently. He did do things differently and all that did was confirm that he wanted to be with Lauren.
2 - That his long term friendship with Courtney could evolve into something more than friends. From the RS podcast she can see that Courtney was open to (and perhaps hoping for) something more with Arie, but Arie passed that opportunity up for a big roll of the dice to find what / who he was really looking for - which wasn't a romantic relationship with Courtney; IMO he could have had that if that was what he wanted.
JMHO

For me it’s not what they could have . It’s what they already have , a friendship where she already knows some of Arie’s secrets. . She obviously knew something was going down in Thailand for example using that particular emoji. To say, If your girl only knew is definitely an inside slight to his new love that his new love probably doesn’t know or realize about Arie. Jmo

@mindless and they communicated for a while, enough for him to want to date her, but seemingly not enough to take her seriously. So he magically between July of 2017 and September of 2017 suddenly decided he wanted marriage, because up to July he was spending a lot of time with a woman he wasn’t serious about instead of searching for a woman he could be serious with. IMO

Did the casting phone call “magically “ make Arie want marriage?

Stone_Hedge wrote:It’s what they already have , a friendship where she already knows some of Arie’s secrets.

I wouldn't consider that a threat. Arie has a past. Lauren has a past. When I met my wife, I had a past. And she had a past. It's hard to find anyone these days that doesn't have a past. But a past is just that - it's in the past - and what matters is what happens in the present and the future.

JMHO but I think Courtney has been very supportive of Arie and his search for "the one" and I think she would be way more of a help to his relationship with Lauren than a hindrance. I could actually see Courtney and Lauren developing a friendship; maybe a very close one actually.

Arie and Lauren need to just stop doing interviews and flaunting this relationship all over social media for a bit. I have yet to see an interview or social media post from either of them where they didn't come across as completely tacky and tone deaf. In the latest People magazine (with Arie and Lauren on the cover), Lauren claims she doesn't feel the need to reach out to Becca because "it's not like they were dating and I swooped in." IMO, that's actually exactly what happened, but worse, because they weren't dating - they were engaged. She admits in the same interview that she was in contact with Arie while he was still engaged to Becca and that she encouraged him to dump Becca for her. She may not have been the first to make contact, but she engaged in the conversation and egged him on. I would have more respect for her if she could acknowledge that they probably both could have handled it better and that the way they went about this was, actually, not very respectful.

I actually was more Team Lauren before all of this, and never did see the connection with Becca, but the way she and Arie have behaved in the aftermath has just been so off-putting, IMO. He comes off like a narcissist and she comes off like a clueless gloating child.

I am still close with and good friends with some of my exes. I would certainly not consider my DH close with them or friends with them. THat's not going to change and my DH couldn't care less.
Now, my DH does not share that same relationship with any of his exes. I am not that angelic or sharing and currently my DH enjoys the peace in his life. 

Kashathediva wrote:I am still close with and good friends with some of my exes. I would certainly not consider my DH close with them or friends with them. THat's not going to change and my DH couldn't care less.
Now, my DH does not share that same relationship with any of his exes. I am not that angelic or sharing and currently my DH enjoys the peace in his life. 

I am friends with all of my ex's, and I don't think I could ever be with someone that didn't allow me that.  I worked with my ex for 5 years after we separated, my current DH and I continually socially interacted with my ex via dinner dances, firm events, etc., and sometimes I had to attend business events without my DH.

I've never understood the love the one you're with, hate the one you're not, unless there's a real reason. My dear deceased father remained friends with all of his ex's too, and at his funeral, they played the song "To All The Girls I Have Loved Before", he chose his own music for his funeral.  They all stood up while the song played, including my mother, who was also friends with them all.