Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion

Aria wrote:

Alanna wrote:So how will Lauren feel when her man is off all day showing his houses with his friend with bennies? Yikes. This is like Wife Between Us psychological thriller terrority in some scenarios

Also, why is Arie so dependent on what Courtney says to do regarding Lauren and the ring? Oh well. Not my problem issues.

FWB who also happens to be madly in love with him and was hoping he would finally commit to her in September, before he went off to be the Bachelor, and cried when he was announced, knowing they couldn't be together. I'm sure that will cause absolutely zero problems whatsoever. Maybe this time Court can try not to rub in their extracurricular activities by leaving messages like "if only your girl knew!" on his IG. IMO.

WHAT??? #ItsComplicated

This what I got from Reddit by someone who heard the podcast. 
Keeping in mind anyone reporting a podcast is putting their spin on it.

• Leading up to the announcement, Courtney and Arie had worked on renovating a house together. He bought the home for her to live in. The deal was that she would eventually buy the home from him. They filmed some of the renovations and talked about getting an HGTV show. 
  
• Courtney was with him when he first received the call from production talking to him about the potential for being the Bachelor. He was conflicted and said things were going so well for him and with them in AZ. 
  
• Arie called her on the way to NY right before the announcement. She was upset when he told her and started crying. She thought there was the potential for them to start actually dating. They'd been spending a lot of time together and it was moving towards dating. 
  
• She moved back to AZ in July 2016 and they were casually dating (not exclusively). Found out about him dating Sydney when he came into one of her friends restaurants with Sydney. Then Courtney put him back in the friend zone up until his break up with Sydney in the summer.
  
  
  
  
  • Courtney emphasizes that she thinks Arie is a really good guy and she does want the best for him. She has such a history with him and wants to see him and Lauren work out.
    
    
    
    • Courtney thinks her friendship with Arie will always be there. Their relationship will have to change to be respectful to his fiancee, but they'll still see each other through real estate and from time to time. They ahd a conversation about how it'll have to change, and he agreed. She thinks they'll be able to stay in each others lives, but they'll need to figure out exactly how to get there. 
      
    • Courtney has already been receiving mean tweets and Instagram comments telling her not to ruin Arie's relationship with Lauren. 
      
    • She thinks from watching the footage, it was clear that he was much more into Lauren. She thinks he'll be faithful to Lauren and try to make it work because he is "goo-goo-ga-ga" over her.
      
    
    
    
  
  
  

I guess I missed the part where Courtney mentions being madly in love with Arie.  Later in the podcast she talks about going out with Ben a few months later. Go figure, love is fickle.

I don't know if this is the right forum to bring this up, but it's been on my mind for a few days now. If the situation were reversed, and Arie proposed first to Lauren, but then changed his mind in favor of Becca, would she have responded in the same manner? Specifically, would she have a) communicated with Arie via text and phone calls before his official breakup, b) given Arie another chance, and c) accepted an immediate engagement with him?

Here are my thoughts:

a) I think her communication with Arie would have been very limited. I think she would have said to him, "Yes, I still have feelings for you, but your relationship with Lauren needs to be resolved first before we take this any further." Why? Because my opinion is that where Lauren tends to lead from her heart, Becca uses a combination of head and heart. I also think that Becca is the type who would think, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. She is a very open hearted individual, but once her B.S. meter is activated, look out!

b) I think she might very well have given him another chance, but she wouldn't have been in any rush about it. Why? Based on her experience with her ex, she is used to having a long-distance relationship. I think she would have told Arie (once he broke his engagement with Lauren,) "Sure, let's take six months or a year and see where this goes." I don't think she would have been in any rush to move to Scottsdale.

c) HECK NO. Why? For all of the reasons listed above.

Yeah, Courtney never said the words "I'm madly in love with him", but anyone could tell. **IMO** Look at the comments on Reddit, it's very clear to anyone who listened that Courtney is in love with him. She said that she wanted things to work out with him in 2016, but he started seeing Sydney behind her back and it was the same thing that had happened the first time they dated. And last year, when they were both single, she thought they would finally get together and he would commit to her. She talked about how Arie told her that she'd given him a lot of chances and he was lucky to have her. He said if they ever started something he'd want it to be real. That's why she cried when he was announced, because she thought that something was finally going to happen with them and she realized it wouldn't. Look at the way she defends his cheating (basically saying he only cheated because Sydney didn't ask him if he was), the way she talks about how well he treats a girl and treats her to fancy dinners, her clear jealousy of Sydney, ...the girl is deep in love with him. **IMO** It seems like she respects his relationship with Lauren and truly believes they're in love and will get married, but her feelings are still there. Yes, she's sleeping with other people. It's not relevant to her feelings,**IMO** since she's been holding on to hope that he'll choose her for the last five years and had been sending his ex-girlfriend messages like "if only your girl knew" to basically taunt her about her relationship with Arie. Heck, the reason that Arie and Sydney broke up was because he was hanging out with Courtney that day, lied to her about it, and she called him out on it. IMO, it's very clear she is the Ashley to his Jared and it's going to cause problems. IMO.

Kashathediva wrote:I guess I missed the part where Courtney mentions being madly in love with Arie.  Later in the podcast she talks about going out with Ben a few months later. Go figure, love is fickle.[/size]

Kasha if you missed it then I did also and I've listened to it two times already; I never heard her say that. What you reported was what I heard as best as I can remember it. The only thing missing was a comment she made when explaining that Arie just couldn't get to a place where he had the feelings he wanted with Becca - the comment she made was that she "didn't believe he could get there with me either". So while she might at one time have been hopeful things could go farther for her and Arie IMO she has pretty much abandoned that hope now and realizes they just work better as friends with a platonic relationship and nothing more.

I just can’t get behind this couple. I don’t hate them, they are not “the worst people ever”. But, they are both selfish and shady.

If Arie had broken up with Becca and then contacted Lauren, I think I would be hoping for them to succeed. But he acted dishonorably by pursuing Lauren while still with Becca. And she was shady too. It is obvious from her statements that they had in depth conversations of him coming back before he broke up with Becca. That is crappy. Fine you still love him, say that and tell him to call you back if and when he is single.

Add in talking to Becca about house hunting in AZ while he is hung up on Lauren, not okay.

So I don’t wish them to break up or marry and divorce, but they built a relationship on lies told to other people and for me it just takes any positive feelings towards them away from me. JMO.

No one has to get behind or fan or like any couple, IMO. That's up to the individual. Nothing wrong with that. There should not be pressure one way or the other. 
Basically, the only follow up of any of these people I do once the show puts them to rest is from this forum. 
In all the time the show's been on, I've yet to get a Christmas card, Birthday gift or invite to any important events. No gifts of money. Nothing. With that said, my investment does not go much beyond this site and I don't think any of them care.

Kashathediva wrote:No one has to get behind or fan or like any couple, IMO. That's up to the individual. Nothing wrong with that. There should not be pressure one way or the other. 
Basically, the only follow up of any of these people I do once the show puts them to rest is from this forum. 
In all the time the show's been on, I've yet to get a Christmas card, Birthday gift or invite to any important events. No gifts of money. Nothing. With that said, my investment does not go much beyond this site and I don't think any of them care.

I received my invite in the mail yesterday.

stuckinsc wrote:I just can’t get behind this couple. I don’t hate them, they are not “the worst people ever”. But, they are both selfish and shady.

If Arie had broken up with Becca and then contacted Lauren, I think I would be hoping for them to succeed. But he acted dishonorably by pursuing Lauren while still with Becca. And she was shady too. It is obvious from her statements that they had in depth conversations of him coming back before he broke up with Becca. That is crappy. Fine you still love him, say that and tell him to call you back if and when he is single.

Add in talking to Becca about house hunting in AZ while he is hung up on Lauren, not okay.

So I don’t wish them to break up or marry and divorce, but they built a relationship on lies told to other people and for me it just takes any positive feelings towards them away from me. JMO.

And he told Becca he loved her and was excited to see her . That was the week before the breakup .

@Bet2Win
May I please be your plus one?

Kashathediva wrote:@Bet2Win
May I please be your plus one?

On one condition, I get to borrow Lauren's body, no fighting over it.

^^^
Speaking of important events - no invite or plus 1 for Becca
https://www.refinery29.com/2018/03/193149/bachelor-arie-wedding-to-lauren-becca-not-invited