Bachelor 22 - Arie Luyendyk Jr - SM Media - *Sleuthing Spoilers* - #5

Kashathediva wrote:Molly had an entire forum hating on her and accusing her of breaking up marriages, being pregnant from her tent date with Jason and having an affair with her current boss. It was horrible and all before the birth of social media as we know it now.

Aria wrote:

Diana wrote:If he chose to knowling propose to Becca “for” TV, tell her he loves her over and over and over again and then purposely break up with her on camera pretending it’s a couple update that’s even worseZ that doesn’t make him look better or excuse his actions. Any way you look at it. He’s just an awful human being who cares about himself only. JMHO

*EDIT* It's one thing to be a Jason Mesnick, someone who made the wrong decision in a limited time, high-pressure situation, and never meant to hurt or deceive anyone. It's a whole other thing to sleep with someone multiple times, tell them repeatedly that you love them, introduce them to all of your friends, make promises to their family, propose to them and promise them a lifetime commitment *just* to produce a good TV finale. Like that's straight up sociopath material right. *IMO*  And the worst part is it's not even working! The ratings still suck! That's a whole lot of work for literally zero pay off.

IMO.

bluwavz wrote:I'm still laughing at the part about him and Lauren taking things slowly and how they "don't want to jump into anything". Yeah getting engaged again weeks after your last failed engagement and Lauren moving in with you right after the show is sure taking things slowly. Assuming what RS is hearing is correct of course.

North wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:
I admit I am not completely caught up on all of yesterday's posts, but so far yours is the only post I've seen that mentions that curious line. You - and my wife - both latched on to that. In fact my wife's comment about that short scene was "They're talking in code - go back and watch it again". In addition to Arie's line "It will get harder before it gets easier." Lauren seemed to be saying that during the overnight Arie had explained things to her that put her fears (I fall for you but you pick someone else) at ease. So what might they have talked about - for the first (and only) time they had during filming - that gave Lauren the confidence to have said what she did? What could Arie have been thinking / knowing would happen that would make the journey harder before it got easier?

And in the aftermath of the FRC, why was Lauren so ready to "get back" with Arie instead of totally withdrawing back into the shell she's tried so hard for so long to wrap around her and protect her heart? Was it something that Arie explained to her in private, and if so, what did he know then that we didn't? If he was that "in love" with Becca why was he so ready to step aside and let Ross propose to Becca and acknowledge that it was Becca's choice? He fought for Emily's heart (the journal) but IMO he didn't fight for Becca.

I do agree with your statement that "He wasn't in love with Becca and he knew it." IMO he knew it then and he knew it when he proposed. Just my own humble opinion but I think the FRC proposal to Becca was for the TV show and the one which (apparently) happened this past Saturday at at the Monarch Bay Resort in Dana Point was for his heart.

All JMHO

Again, I read this well-presented and reasoned post (your posts are so clean!) and I still think the switcheroo scenario doesn't have to be this complicated. I keep going back to Occam's Razor: Lauren took Arie back because she's in love with him. As she's said during her time on the show. I personally don't think there has to be a code or a pre-planned scheme to get Lauren to accept Arie or for Arie to change his mind. The simplest solution is often just that, THE solution. Arie thought he wanted Becca, proposed, then changed his mind. Lauren was in love and took him back. And that's okay. Life is messy.  The above is MO.

tigertiz wrote:

I keep going back to Occam's Razor: Lauren took Arie back because she's in love with him

Yup.  Just as Arie would have taken Emily back if she had read his journal and  reconsidered.

Kashathediva wrote:

Stone_Hedge wrote:

AllAboutLove wrote:

This doesn't surprise me at all. The lack of empathy I've seen Arie display these past weeks has been mind-blowing to me. 

I think Arie cares only about himself and is one of the most self-absorbed, self-entitled leads this show has ever had, and that's saying something. 


jmo

Arie said multiple ily’s to get the best performance from the F3 in the FS. Callous and unthoughful. He says he’s happy to see the ending to keep his current Fiancé at maximum performance . There are pics of the new proposal site and Finale redux. He wants everyone to see that so some will say aww.... and forget the underhanded way he went about things. Jmho

I'll take it a step further.
This show has for seasons, been about the show after the show. IMO
The ATFR has not been a re-cap of the lovey dovey couple for seasons, IMO. It's been about how much controversy, angst and drama can it drum up. 
Now the show has been able to take it months ATFR with filming of this, that and the other. 
We have two FRC now instead of one.  This is what the show thinks the audience wants IMO. Drama. The incredible. Jaw dropping. 
Now they are really going to have to jump the shark and up the ante for the following seasons.

Mommyof2 wrote:

kmick0890 wrote:

Aria wrote:

I know! I keep seeing people write that, presumably in an attempt to defend him, and I'm like..."you know that's way worse, right?". It's one thing to be a Jason Mesnick, someone who made the wrong decision in a limited time, high-pressure situation, and never meant to hurt or deceive anyone. It's a whole other thing to sleep with someone multiple times, tell them repeatedly that you love them, introduce them to all of your friends, make promises to their family, propose to them and promise them a lifetime commitment *just* to produce a good TV finale. Like that's straight up sociopath material right. And the worst part is it's not even working! The ratings still suck! That's a whole lot of work for literally zero pay off.

IMO.

So it's ok for Jason to make the wrong decision but not Arie? Jason admitted in interviews that once he got back to the real world with Melissa, he had NO connection to her whatsoever and still had feelings for Molly. . He was also forced to film the breakup just so he could even have a CHANCE at talking to Molly. His reputation aside, I don't see how Arie's any different in that regard. Wasn't Jason also wrong for proposing to Melissa? He's allowed to change his mind. I don't think Arie went into this happy that he had to break Becca's heart. i just don't. As for him being happy post switch, I didn't realize that's not allowed.

IMO.

Jason AND Molly had to deal with tremendous backlash after he made the switch.  He talked about the constant barrage of hate that he (they) received.  At that time SM wasn't what it is now.  They weathered the storm (literally on their wedding day ) and made it through.  That said, Arie and Lauren are going to have to deal with it too.  I can already see some of the comments on his IG aren't very kind.  Most are supporting him, but that might change when the episodes are over.  Arie is happy because he supposedly is engaged.  I think that's what he means when he says he can't wait for everyone to see how it all turns out, but yeah, he probably should have a little more compassion for the Becca situation.  Jmo.

ETA:  I care more about what happens to Lauren when all is said and done.  I feel she is going to get dragged in the mud along with Arie and she really didn't do anything wrong.  Again, jmo.  

North wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:Molly had an entire forum hating on her and accusing her of breaking up marriages, being pregnant from her tent date with Jason and having an affair with her current boss. It was horrible and all before the birth of social media as we know it now.

That was before my time but I do find the "blaming" and "hating on" of the women -- both women in this case -- Becca and Lauren to be interesting and frustrating.

IMO Becca gets blamed for being proposed to first by Arie as well as being TPTB's puppet and now secretly texting Peter Kraus and Lauren gets blamed for being a home wrecker and having no personality. Why do either of them have to be at fault or disparaged? Personally, I don't know why EITHER should be blamed for something Arie did. Especially at this point -- when we don't know all the details. Arie changed his mind. HIS. MIND. PERIOD.

The constant blaming of these women for Arie's decisions and behavior -- has been super eye-opening. And as a woman, who likes to think we, as a sex, support each other, it's also been disappointing.

North wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:Molly had an entire forum hating on her and accusing her of breaking up marriages, being pregnant from her tent date with Jason and having an affair with her current boss. It was horrible and all before the birth of social media as we know it now.

That was before my time but I do find the "blaming" and "hating on" of the women -- both women in this case -- Becca and Lauren to be interesting and frustrating.

IMO Becca gets blamed for being proposed to first by Arie as well as being TPTB's puppet and now secretly texting Peter Kraus and Lauren gets blamed for being a home wrecker and having no personality. Why do either of them have to be at fault or disparaged? Personally, I don't know why EITHER should be blamed for something Arie did. Especially at this point -- when we don't know all the details. Arie changed his mind. HIS. MIND. PERIOD.

The constant blaming of these women for Arie's decisions and behavior -- has been super eye-opening. And as a woman, who likes to think we, as a sex, support each other, it's also been disappointing.

AllAboutLove wrote:Jason and Molly were dragged into Blake Australia's switcheroo situation after he dumped his F1. Blake had a player reputation like Arie and Jason and Molly were used by Blake and the show to try spin it into a positive thing. It didn't work and it never lasted with Blake and his switcheroo girl. I don't see it lasting with Arie and Lauren either. I think Arie will be onto the next thing if he isn't already (with Courtney still in the picture). jmo

Kashathediva wrote:

North wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:Molly had an entire forum hating on her and accusing her of breaking up marriages, being pregnant from her tent date with Jason and having an affair with her current boss. It was horrible and all before the birth of social media as we know it now.

That was before my time but I do find the "blaming" and "hating on" of the women -- both women in this case -- Becca and Lauren to be interesting and frustrating.

IMO Becca gets blamed for being proposed to first by Arie as well as being TPTB's puppet and now secretly texting Peter Kraus and Lauren gets blamed for being a home wrecker and having no personality. Why do either of them have to be at fault or disparaged? Personally, I don't know why EITHER should be blamed for something Arie did. Especially at this point -- when we don't know all the details. Arie changed his mind. HIS. MIND. PERIOD.

The constant blaming of these women for Arie's decisions and behavior -- has been super eye-opening. And as a woman, who likes to think we, as a sex, support each other, it's also been disappointing.

 I would like to think what is being interpreted as "blaming/hating" is actually opinion being expressed. 
When opinions that differ from mine are expressed, it's challenging not to interpret subjectively. 
I believe all people are accountable for their own actions to a large extent. (exception being under duress etc).
It's good to get all the facts in the situation and I hope more comes out vs what is speculated. 
As far as women supporting each other...I'd like to think that would be optimal, but my experience here is it's easier to fan and pedestal cast than support members opinions. JMO

umngirl wrote:So which is it Arie?
You have regrets: https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/bachelor-arie-luyendyk-jr-called-off-engagement-to-date-his-runner-up/

Or you have no regrets: https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/arie-luyendyk-jr-i-have-no-regrets-over-bachelor-ending/

Make up your d@mn mind dude. Then again, waffling is what you do best.