Vanessa Grimaldi & Josh Wolf - Bachelor 21 - Discussion

I find it interesting that Vanessa seems to be spending most of her time in LA; in fact, to me it seems like she's still living in LA but flies back to Montreal from time to time. I guess I just assumed that when she and Nick broke up that she would go back to her life in Montreal but instead it seems like she's only been further embracing her life in LA. I'm not judging her for it...but I guess I'm just a little bit surprised, that's all, given that when she and Nick were still together I was always under the impression that her heart was with Montreal even though she was living in LA. I know that Vanessa said in the People Magazine article that she did awhile back that the distance/living situation wasn't the main issue in the break-up but then again, she also made it seem like she was really happy in her relationship via her social media posts throughout the entire course of their time together post-show so I didn't really know what to believe at the time. I suppose I do believe her now, though; however, I guess I just find it a shame that it seemingly took a broken engagement for her to embrace the lifestyle that she and Nick were trying to cultivate together. That being said, I don't miss her constantly feeling the need to defend her Canadian roots while living in the USA (she still does it sometimes but not very often anymore, thank goodness)... and instead it seems that she has moved onto bemoaning/joking about/obsessing over her current single status on SM. I don't know if she's still grieving--and I don't mean to judge her life decisions harshly--but I do find it all to be a little bit baffling. I think that's just what happens when you are so open and public about your principles and ideals--unless you are constantly living up to what you preach then eventually people will start to question you. I don't doubt that Vanessa is still very passionate about her charity and helping out people with learning disabilities in Canadian schools but I also feel like she has changed since the break-up--in some ways, for the better, and in other ways, for the worse.

All of this being said, I still respect Vanessa and I do believe that she's a good person at heart. She's not perfect (but again, no one is perfect) and I don't see her as a saint either. What I see is a woman who has a lot of personalities and layers who is still trying to pick up the pieces from a broken engagement that may have left her a little bit lost...but I also see someone who is still determined to enjoy living her life in a way that she sees fit. If living in LA makes her happy then, really, who are we to judge? Though I have mixed emotions about a lot of things, I at the very least respect the fact that Vanessa isn't promoting the hell out of her charity when it seems that she is currently more focused on having fun/rebuilding her spirits over anything else. When she's ready to go back to promoting her cause then I'm sure that she will, but in the meantime, I get that she wants to focus on having fun. The whole Bachelor and post-Bachelor experience was clearly a huge (sometimes hellish) whirlwind for both her and Nick so, in a way, I think that she earned it.

Great post, bluejay!

@Bluejay,
You have a generous and special spirit. I love your post.
Consider this - I think we agree that Vanessa's commitment to her foundation's goals are genuine. I refer you back to the reactions of her students when she visited them during Nick's season. Those reactions were genuine and pure and mutual. They love her, she loves them and all others like them.
Here is another perspective; Vanessa wants to raise her profile. There has always been a part of her that wants to continue to be a known entity and not fade into the wallpaper before, during and after Nick. That desire is true of many people and while it may not be admirable it's understandable and certainly not evil. When people see the benefits of fame up close in Hollywood, they understand what it can do for you, for your family and those you favor. The greater her circle of influence, the more Vanessa can do for her foundation and cause. She's young and smart and she deserves to have more than one dimension because her goals are not mutually exclusive. If we care about her, we do not require martyrdom. She can accomplish many things while still living a rich and happy life of fun and love, meaningful work and successful growth experiences. I wish her all of the above.

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/vanessa-grimaldi-nick-viall-on-good-terms-since-split/

For some perspective, let's take a visit back in time.  To when a 34 year old software salesman, based in Chicago, took the opportunity to be on a show, that promised the chance to find love.  Well from that time, that 34 year old man, now 37 with a ton of opportunities offered to him, picked up and moved to LA, and has never looked back.
Fast forward to a 29 year old Special Needs teacher, who was offered an opportunity to be on a show that promised the chance of love.  With all the opportunities offered to her because of said show, she uses her platform to start a charity geared to provide funding to programs for people with special needs.  Then plans and organizes a successful fundraiser for said charity.  Those opportunities also afforded her a job with Enews.  Now, newly single, she is enjoying life and all those opportunities she was given.
**edited**
People move, change careers, and yes, leave people behind all the time.  This does not mean those people are forgotten or loved any less.  ***edited***
I look forward to seeing her attend the ribbon cutting ceremony for a sensory room in a school that she worked tirelessly to make happen.

Reminder, this is a General Discussion thread for Vanessa. All opinions are welcomed, and none are judged. Please read the rules.

http://www.etonline.com/vanessa-grimaldi-sets-record-straight-her-dating-life-after-split-nick-viall-exclusive-92099

I have found the reason I may need to unfollow Vanessa on Instagram. I don't care about her enjoying her single life because why not. But I really can no longer take her very, very, did I mention very, loud tuneless singing. I know it sounds silly but I can't. I seriously have to watch most of her stories on mute.

There is something to be said for being unabashed and not caring about whether you can hold a note or not. Kind of like the "dance like no one's watching" expression. But still, not all the time. And again, she's just so loud with it and girl literally is tuneless. Like there is no musicality or note there at all.

Also, seeing more of her hanging out, I'm inclined to believe the People Magazine story right after the breakup that one thing that contributed to it was her and Nick's very different personality where she liked to have fun and talk to everyone and be the life of the party and he wasn't like that at all.

Famewhore though he may be, I have always gotten the sense that Nick and I share that similar Libra trait of being slightly introverted and liking our personal space and private time. He strikes me as someone who likes to have fun when he's in the mood but other times he just wants to be by himself or enjoy quiet time.

I love Vanessa, horrible singing and all. Glad she's enjoying life. The people article said they were different people, what that means is just pure speculation on anyone's part. Funny because his other two choices have even bigger personalities than Vanessa. I think he's attracted to that. Maybe it's time for him to change up what he's looking for.

KayP wrote:I love Vanessa, horrible singing and all.  Glad she's enjoying life.  The people article said they were different people, what that means is just pure speculation on anyone's part.  Funny because his other two choices have even bigger personalities than Vanessa.  I think he's attracted to that.  Maybe it's time for him to change up what he's looking for.

I totally agree. I love Vanessa and wish I could be a little more outgoing and less self-conscious like her. I was really hoping her and Nick would last because they truly (IMO) seemed to care deeply for each other.

I am finding that Vanessa seems a lot more fun and happier now than on the show. I saw that she was filming a segment for Enews. I don't think that was the best environment for her. She seems to have made a lifelong close friend in Danielle M. and she also is becoming friends with Jessica and Cody from BB19 and TAR30. Even if things didn't work out for Nick and Vanessa--it seems like they learned from the relationship and hopefully grown from the experience.

KayP wrote: I was really hoping her and Nick would last because they truly (IMO) seemed to care deeply for each other.

I will always believe that Nick and Vanessa truly loved each other...and I still think that they care about each other even to this day. However, I also think that though they really wanted to make the relationship work, they eventually came to the realization that what they want isn't necessarily what they need and that building a future with someone requires more than just love and hard work. It requires a level of hope and optimism--a genuine belief that you can see a future with the other person--and I think the absence of these feelings is ultimately what doomed them in the end. I've said time and time again that it's not easy being a Bachelor couple and I still maintain that the experience put a level of pressure and stress on the relationship that probably prevented them from being able to feel happy, comfortable and care-free like any normal engaged couple in love. Though I actually think that Nick and Vanessa were compatible in a lot of ways, I don't think that they were compatible in terms of facing the reality of their situation at the time. Though I see both of them as realists, I also see Nick and Vanessa as hopeless romantics which is why I strongly believe that the lack of honeymoon phase really put a damper on their spirits and in turn, caused them to question whether or not they were truly meant to be. I think the most heartbreaking thing about this relationship was that it involved two people who really loved each other and wanted nothing but to build a future together only to be beat down and discouraged to the point where they lost all hope in the end. However, that being said, I think the way that Nick and Vanessa have handled this break-up speaks volumes in terms of demonstrating that their love was real. No public shading, slandering or bitter attacks--though it has obviously been a tough few months for the both of them, I've only seen kindness and respect on both ends. Even to this day, when they talk about each other in interviews they use the term "we" as if to suggest that though they are no longer together and are leading separate lives, they still have no problems talking about each other as if they are a unit. And now that they are both out in the dating world (I know that Vanessa said that she is happily single but no one can convince me that she wasn't on a date with that hockey player--even if it was just a casual thing), it appears as though they are healing and are taking the first steps to moving on. It might all be for the best-but I know one thing to be true: as heartbreaking as their break-up was, the fact that they still vow to support each other and be there for each other if need be (even as they are leading separate lives) only validates the thoughts and feelings expressed in their break-up statement 3 months ago. When it comes down to it, no matter where life takes them moving forward, I get the sense that Nick and Vanessa will always have a lot of respect and love for each other...and I think that's a beautiful thing.