Bachelorette 13 - Rachel Lindsay - Episode 10 FRC - Aug 7 - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

AllAboutLove wrote:I can only imagine the even more intense hate that Bryan would be getting if he did or said what Peter has done this season... that Rachel is the "correct" person but it's not the "correct" time and that he's unsure about a proposal etc. It honestly blows my mind that the minions on SM can't see through Peter's games and BS    jmo

likeashipblown wrote:This clip just reinforces so much of what Rachel has said and so much of what has seemed to play out this season.

And I don't mean to take anything away from Rachel's confidence or strength or ability when I say this, but Rachel has her own insecurities about relationships/men and I think she fell for two totally different men, but attracted to both, all the same.

1. Bryan. He is the guy who is everything she ever wanted. She notes devastatingly handsome, well-educated, sincere in how he handles her, great job, great family, so open, so confident, so secure, so strong.

He's the guy she says she runs from. She liked Bryan early and fast and was scared to death of him.

I mean no harm when I make this point about ~damage, but...

It had come up in other conversations and people were kind of knocking Bryan as not being as easy to root for, in part because... Bryan didn't have a trauma, or a sob story, or some major crazy obstacle, or upheaval to share with Rachel that made him easy to root for.

And I remember thinking at the time, Bryan's lack of damage, his lack of drama, his lack of need, his complete self-sufficiency, his maturity, and autonomy were actually why if I'm looking through Rachel's lens? Is exactly WHY you root with Bryan for her, imo.

Bryan, because he has it all together, is capable of being for Rachel, exactly what I think Rachel needs or needed at the time, at the very least. He balances her. He builds her up. He reassures her. He takes control so she doesn't always have to be in the driver's seat. He makes her a better human being. A strong human being.

He has more than once now stepped up and told her he'd be the "strong" one or acted like the "strong" one when she even started to express anxiety or fear. And he does this at cost to himself sometimes. He puts her fears and anxiety over his own.

I knew that's who he was to her, but... That just came more completely full circle to me when... When Rachel said, "I need you..." about the hot air balloon situation and he said, "I'll be strong for both of us..." before she could even finish getting out her whole sentiment.

And I loved him for that. But also... He disclosed in that moment that he has a slight issue with heights. SAY WHAT? And I loved him even more for how good he was to her in that moment, especially because...

The same guy who talked Rachel down off that ski jump or whatever?! Where he put her first. Told her when to move her hand. Told her to get off the ledge because it would feel better and he knew because he tested it first for them, told her to just focus on him, told her not to look down, told her... Like, seriously?! THAT GUY? Had an issue with heights?! Who knew, because he basically held Rachel's hand all the way through that repelling exercise.

And now... Now he discloses he's got an issue with heights on this hot air balloon thing and he still is like, "I'll be strong for..."

THAT is just one example of the epitome of why I root for him with her. Bryan has the emotional and mental capacity at this point in his life to be there for Rachel in a way she needs someone to be there for her to feel secure, to feel safe, to feel wanted. He is built and wired in a way that he can lend himself to being what she needs.

2. Peter. Good looking, great family, business-minded/goal-oriented... A lot of the things Rachel was looking for, again. Doesn't cross off as many of those boxes as Bryan, but, he does well.

But the difference is... Peter is not confident, mature, self-assured, and in control the same way Bryan is and those things are huge.

And I'm not someone who didn't think Peter had a chance. I think he did. I think he was 1B behind Bryan, tbh. I think she always wanted Bryan, yes, and I think she realllllly wanted Bryan, to be clear, but I think she was so scared of Bryan, she could have run from him so quickly if Peter had given her ANY REAL security or assurance, because Peter was/is her default type.

I think the difference is and why he stayed 1B... Rachel was attracted to Peter, and she saw the potential in Peter, and then that was that.. and Peter coasted/stalled, but Rachel kept him around, imo, because she still saw the potential and was hoping that the potential might become reality. Combine that with how he was what's comfortable to her...

I don't think things really got out of hand as far as catching up to Bryan until Bryan's first one-on-one and even then, things wouldn't have had to have been so lopsided if Peter would have put himself out there.

But as it is and how it played out to me... The relationship with Peter seems to exacerbate every single insecurity and fault line she has about relationships. And he doesn't seem to have the emotional capability to give her what she needs to be on solid ground with him, and that in and of itself is a warning sign, imo. It plays on her fear that she wasn't ever quite good enough, imo. And I just... No.

She has one guy who builds her up. She has another who tears her down. She has one guy who will put his issues to the side to be what she needs. She has another guy who was not capable of doing that. She has one guy who is confident enough in what he had with her he blocked out the competition. She had another who started verbally demeaning and attacking the competition. She had one guy who allowed her to let her walls down and just be, and not have to control anything, she didn't have to be the strong one, or have to worry. She had another guy who kept her in a push/pull loop where she never was able to figure out where she stood or what he wanted from her or with her. I MEAN. The tale of two guys!

This clip hammers that home to me.

pavalygurl wrote:

The track record for the show is not good for a lot of the couples.  I have repeatedly said, I like Rachel.  I wish her well.  I want her to be happy.  I hope they (she and Bryan)succeed, but forgive me if I am just a bit skeptical.

likeashipblown wrote:This clip just reinforces so much of what Rachel has said and so much of what has seemed to play out this season.

And I don't mean to take anything away from Rachel's confidence or strength or ability when I say this, but Rachel has her own insecurities about relationships/men and I think she fell for two totally different men, but attracted to both, all the same.

1. Bryan. He is the guy who is everything she ever wanted. She notes devastatingly handsome, well-educated, sincere in how he handles her, great job, great family, so open, so confident, so secure, so strong.

He's the guy she says she runs from. She liked Bryan early and fast and was scared to death of him.

I mean no harm when I make this point about ~damage, but...

It had come up in other conversations and people were kind of knocking Bryan as not being as easy to root for, in part because... Bryan didn't have a trauma, or a sob story, or some major crazy obstacle, or upheaval to share with Rachel that made him easy to root for.

And I remember thinking at the time, Bryan's lack of damage, his lack of drama, his lack of need, his complete self-sufficiency, his maturity, and autonomy were actually why if I'm looking through Rachel's lens? Is exactly WHY you root with Bryan for her, imo.

Bryan, because he has it all together, is capable of being for Rachel, exactly what I think Rachel needs or needed at the time, at the very least. He balances her. He builds her up. He reassures her. He takes control so she doesn't always have to be in the driver's seat. He makes her a better human being. A strong human being.

He has more than once now stepped up and told her he'd be the "strong" one or acted like the "strong" one when she even started to express anxiety or fear. And he does this at cost to himself sometimes. He puts her fears and anxiety over his own.

I knew that's who he was to her, but... That just came more completely full circle to me when... When Rachel said, "I need you..." about the hot air balloon situation and he said, "I'll be strong for both of us..." before she could even finish getting out her whole sentiment.

And I loved him for that. But also... He disclosed in that moment that he has a slight issue with heights. SAY WHAT? And I loved him even more for how good he was to her in that moment, especially because...

The same guy who talked Rachel down off that ski jump or whatever?! Where he put her first. Told her when to move her hand. Told her to get off the ledge because it would feel better and he knew because he tested it first for them, told her to just focus on him, told her not to look down, told her... Like, seriously?! THAT GUY? Had an issue with heights?! Who knew, because he basically held Rachel's hand all the way through that repelling exercise.

And now... Now he discloses he's got an issue with heights on this hot air balloon thing and he still is like, "I'll be strong for..."

THAT is just one example of the epitome of why I root for him with her. Bryan has the emotional and mental capacity at this point in his life to be there for Rachel in a way she needs someone to be there for her to feel secure, to feel safe, to feel wanted. He is built and wired in a way that he can lend himself to being what she needs.

2. Peter. Good looking, great family, business-minded/goal-oriented... A lot of the things Rachel was looking for, again. Doesn't cross off as many of those boxes as Bryan, but, he does well.

But the difference is... Peter is not confident, mature, self-assured, and in control the same way Bryan is and those things are huge.

And I'm not someone who didn't think Peter had a chance. I think he did. I think he was 1B behind Bryan, tbh. I think she always wanted Bryan, yes, and I think she realllllly wanted Bryan, to be clear, but I think she was so scared of Bryan, she could have run from him so quickly if Peter had given her ANY REAL security or assurance, because Peter was/is her default type.

I think the difference is and why he stayed 1B... Rachel was attracted to Peter, and she saw the potential in Peter, and then that was that.. and Peter coasted/stalled, but Rachel kept him around, imo, because she still saw the potential and was hoping that the potential might become reality. Combine that with how he was what's comfortable to her...

I don't think things really got out of hand as far as catching up to Bryan until Bryan's first one-on-one and even then, things wouldn't have had to have been so lopsided if Peter would have put himself out there.

But as it is and how it played out to me... The relationship with Peter seems to exacerbate every single insecurity and fault line she has about relationships. And he doesn't seem to have the emotional capability to give her what she needs to be on solid ground with him, and that in and of itself is a warning sign, imo. It plays on her fear that she wasn't ever quite good enough, imo. And I just... No.

She has one guy who builds her up. She has another who tears her down. She has one guy who will put his issues to the side to be what she needs. She has another guy who was not capable of doing that. She has one guy who is confident enough in what he had with her he blocked out the competition. She had another who started verbally demeaning and attacking the competition. She had one guy who allowed her to let her walls down and just be, and not have to control anything, she didn't have to be the strong one, or have to worry. She had another guy who kept her in a push/pull loop where she never was able to figure out where she stood or what he wanted from her or with her. I MEAN. The tale of two guys!

This clip hammers that home to me.