Re: Nick Viall - Bachelor 21 - FAN Forum - Discussion #25

[ukglasgowkiiss]

I agree will all of your posts, the introvert extrovert i do believe is a factor.
Humour me a minute, I have been reading more in numerology since I watched Eric talking about it. There is a life path number which is good to be compatible with your partners. Nick & Vanessa both hv the same number of 1 which is compatible but cd be competing & challenging too. You see I often worried that them being too similar would be more of a problem, two Librans too. He said this a couple of times himself so perhaps in his mind it akways was an obstacle or what he expected to be an obstacle. I felt Nick was the type of personality who needs a bit of an audience or keen listener anyway. And Vanessa also has those same needs. The 1 life paths are leaders and pioneers of new projects. So this echoes my thoughts on them being very similar. They may understand each other well, better than most but sometimes it is too much, too familiar, they need the balance of another type of perspective. They imo both seem like leaders in some way, both strongly opinionated. That can be too much in a partnership in the long term. Especially where there is no clear direction on where to live, whose role is the main career. Both also analytical & both imo want to talk a lot, it might become exhausting to both. The need to be verbally validated & understood in all ways I think wd be strong in both.
Just some thoughts on why it may hv ended thus. Sad.
I believe every lesson leads us forward & is essential to getting to the place of lasting love. Jmho.
Here is link on numerology life path number & compatibility.
http://astrology-numerology.com/num-relationship.html

"1 and 1: Two people with a strong desire to lead, and, two people who want very much to be independent. Two 1s in a relationship understand and accept each other perhaps better than any other number can understand the 1. This is a relationship not without pitfalls as the match can get dicey when they start to compete. But for the most part, it is a good one filled with excitement and activity."

[Guest]

@ukglasgowkiiss That's interesting and makes sense.

[chrissy1295]

Should I put much stock into the wording of their breakup statement? Idk I've just been comparing it to past statements and to me it seems more personal and emotional. It seems more like they wrote it themselves instead of going through a rep (note the use of the word "lots" instead of "a lot"). Chris/Whitney's was from a rep and in the third person, Andi/Josh's just seemed cold, and Ben/Lauren's seemed pretty standard.

Notably the bolded. I hope this means they plan on remaining in each other's lives in some way. I would love it if they actually remained friends, and of course, the romantic in me would love a reunion, but I know the odds are slim.

It’s with a great amount of heartbreak for the both us as we have decided to end our engagement. We gave this relationship our all and we are saddened that we did not get the fairytale ending we hoped for. We will continue to be there for each other no matter what. This hasn’t been an easy decision, however, as we part ways, we do so with lots of love and admiration for each other.

I may be looking too much into it, but I'm just grasping at any ounce of positivity from a crappy situation

[ukglasgowkiiss]

Should I put much stock into the wording of their breakup statement? Idk I've just been comparing it to past statements and to me it seems more personal and emotional. It seems more like they wrote it themselves instead of going through a rep (note the use of the word "lots" instead of "a lot"). Chris/Whitney's was from a rep and in the third person, Andi/Josh's just seemed cold, and Ben/Lauren's seemed pretty standard.

Notably the bolded. I hope this means they plan on remaining in each other's lives in some way. I would love it if they actually remained friends, and of course, the romantic in me would love a reunion, but I know the odds are slim.

It’s with a great amount of heartbreak for the both us as we have decided to end our engagement. We gave this relationship our all and we are saddened that we did not get the fairytale ending we hoped for. We will continue to be there for each other no matter what. This hasn’t been an easy decision, however, as we part ways, we do so with lots of love and admiration for each other.

I may be looking too much into it, but I'm just grasping at any ounce of positivity from a crappy situation

Yes I think the wording does seem personal & yes well noticed ~the use if "lots" makes it more a personal statement rather than publicist.
It has really hit ne today & feel so so sad about this. I just heard as was going to bed last night in uk and reacted then. But waking up today felt even worse thinking about how they both must be feeling so sad. I invested a lot into this one, so its hit me a little harder than any others. I keep feeling sad for Nick & his family. It has come about so soon after such a happy time for them all with Marias wedding. Grieving time for them all.

I wish it was different but there is always reasons why things last or do not. They tried & they both know that at least they did their best to make it.
Nick Nick Nick, I hoped my worries for you were over, like as if I was hoping a good friend was finally happy after so much heartache. I dont know Nick & never will but I will always feel happy if I hear he is happy, sad if not. I guess it is a mixture of relating to his quest and being attracted to his amazing mix of qualities. He is a true original.
See y'all back on the Nick fan thread. I hope we only get little bits of info then an announcement of a marriage one day. All imo.
Group hug

[notarose]

@chrissy1295 yes, the bolded definitely didn't sound like a formalaic franchise line - more "common speech". I could see Nick continuing to support No Better You in some way. Perhaps as simple as promoting her next fundraiser on SM.
One thing that hasn't been talked about is public scrutinity. It had been talked about a lot by both Nick and especially Vanessa. Up until very recently she was still commenting back to random trolls on her IG. I don't think she was ever able to  not be emotionally impacted by Bach nation fan response. Imagine every time you post a pic having to see THAT on your SM.  Every day beginning during the airing of the show until now is a long time. If she didn't post of Nick she would be told they broke up; if she did she would be told he wasn't smiling; if she posted a pic asking people to tag and compliment someone she would be asked where's Nick. Randomly fans would tell her Nick should have picked someone else. This kind of sh*t is very much out of the realm of control for either of them yet would have impacted both of them because V was very bothered by it, spoke about it often in interviews, and would have had mostly Nick as the one to talk about it with. Not a good thing to have to deal with.
I do think there was much more good in this relationship than not good. I think the relationship ended but not because one or the other was at fault. I do think the excessive scrutinity they were under brought undo stress that interfered with progress. Not because either believed what was being said, just because it was so constant and sad. Nick would have been powerless to protect her from this daily barrage of  hurtfulness. Remember how he told her "I like taking care of you."? Her being with him is the only reason why she was being attacked.
"If you love someone, set them free..."

[chrissy1295]

@chrissy1295 yes, the bolded definitely didn't sound like a formalaic franchise line - more "common speech". I could see Nick continuing to support No Better You in some way. Perhaps as simple as promoting her next fundraiser on SM.
One thing that hasn't been talked about is public scrutinity. It had been talked about a lot by both Nick and especially Vanessa. Up until very recently she was still commenting back to random trolls on her IG. I don't think she was ever able to  not be emotionally impacted by Bach nation fan response. Imagine every time you post a pic having to see THAT on your SM.  Every day beginning during the airing of the show until now is a long time. If she didn't post of Nick she would be told they broke up; if she did she would be told he wasn't smiling; if she posted a pic asking people to tag and compliment someone she would be asked where's Nick. Randomly fans would tell her Nick should have picked someone else. This kind of sh*t is very much out of the realm of control for either of them yet would have impacted both of them because V was very bothered by it, spoke about it often in interviews, and would have had mostly Nick as the one to talk about it with. Not a good thing to have to deal with.
I do think there was much more good in this relationship than not good. I think the relationship ended but not because one or the other was at fault. I do think the excessive scrutinity they were under brought undo stress that interfered with progress. Not because either believed what was being said, just because it was so constant and sad. Nick would have been powerless to protect her from this daily barrage of  hurtfulness. Remember how he told her "I like taking care of you."? Her being with him is the only reason why she was being attacked.
"If you love someone, set them free..."

Okay I managed to get through yesterday without crying, but reading this turned on the waterworks...

If the scrutiny was really weighing on them that badly and part of why Nick let her go was to relieve her of that then this is the most real love I have ever seen in this dumb franchise!

[MonicaJM2001]

I hope they can stay friendly exes but only time will tell. Even to the bitter end they gave us their team spirit using "we" instead of just a generic "reps for both state...blah blah blah"

[Brill]

joie Irene Nice to see you posting with us.

[notarose]

@chrissy1295 yes, the bolded definitely didn't sound like a formalaic franchise line - more "common speech". I could see Nick continuing to support No Better You in some way. Perhaps as simple as promoting her next fundraiser on SM.
One thing that hasn't been talked about is public scrutinity. It had been talked about a lot by both Nick and especially Vanessa. Up until very recently she was still commenting back to random trolls on her IG. I don't think she was ever able to  not be emotionally impacted by Bach nation fan response. Imagine every time you post a pic having to see THAT on your SM.  Every day beginning during the airing of the show until now is a long time. If she didn't post of Nick she would be told they broke up; if she did she would be told he wasn't smiling; if she posted a pic asking people to tag and compliment someone she would be asked where's Nick. Randomly fans would tell her Nick should have picked someone else. This kind of sh*t is very much out of the realm of control for either of them yet would have impacted both of them because V was very bothered by it, spoke about it often in interviews, and would have had mostly Nick as the one to talk about it with. Not a good thing to have to deal with.
I do think there was much more good in this relationship than not good. I think the relationship ended but not because one or the other was at fault. I do think the excessive scrutinity they were under brought undo stress that interfered with progress. Not because either believed what was being said, just because it was so constant and sad. Nick would have been powerless to protect her from this daily barrage of  hurtfulness. Remember how he told her "I like taking care of you."? Her being with him is the only reason why she was being attacked.
"If you love someone, set them free..."

Okay I managed to get through yesterday without crying, but reading this turned on the waterworks...

If the scrutiny was really weighing on them that badly and Nick let her go to relieve her of that then this is the most real love I have ever seen in this dumb franchise!

I really do believe this was a factor. Of course other things may have been in play but this is easily substantiated through interviews they both gave - the public scrutinity factor.
Of course all franchise couples have their trolls but Nick has had parasites riding him for 4 years and they simply hopped over & onto Vanessa.
I think Nick was so happy Vanessa knew nothing about him and was therefore able to form her own opinion and that's the man she grew to love. And he loved her back. The problem is she also knew nothing about Bach nation either - the rag mags, unnamed sources, trolls. I think Bette works better because the F1 is a man and better equipped to emotionally shut out the noise. I don't think that's a sexist view. The genders do have generalized differences. We are talking about Nick here and 4 years of persistent h8ters so it's been particularily vile.
These h8ters are never going to wish Nick well. They will always appear on his SM, always be dedicated to be heard and to hurt.  That's why I think Nick is correct in needing a strong woman because his history and this troll consequence is permanent. They will judge and try to harm any woman he loves.
So who will fight along side him? I think it has to be someone who understands the irrelevancy of all that, perhaps someone who understands entertainment at its worse and won't be harmed by outside forces. I think most franchise alumni are not a good fit for Nick but there are actors and musicians etc who are clued in so perhaps his hope lies there.  
She made him laugh.  She was the only one. But being with him, because of the environment, made her cry.

[ukglasgowkiiss]

@chrissy1295 yes, the bolded definitely didn't sound like a formalaic franchise line - more "common speech". I could see Nick continuing to support No Better You in some way. Perhaps as simple as promoting her next fundraiser on SM.
One thing that hasn't been talked about is public scrutinity. It had been talked about a lot by both Nick and especially Vanessa. Up until very recently she was still commenting back to random trolls on her IG. I don't think she was ever able to  not be emotionally impacted by Bach nation fan response. Imagine every time you post a pic having to see THAT on your SM.  Every day beginning during the airing of the show until now is a long time. If she didn't post of Nick she would be told they broke up; if she did she would be told he wasn't smiling; if she posted a pic asking people to tag and compliment someone she would be asked where's Nick. Randomly fans would tell her Nick should have picked someone else. This kind of sh*t is very much out of the realm of control for either of them yet would have impacted both of them because V was very bothered by it, spoke about it often in interviews, and would have had mostly Nick as the one to talk about it with. Not a good thing to have to deal with.
I do think there was much more good in this relationship than not good. I think the relationship ended but not because one or the other was at fault. I do think the excessive scrutinity they were under brought undo stress that interfered with progress. Not because either believed what was being said, just because it was so constant and sad. Nick would have been powerless to protect her from this daily barrage of  hurtfulness. Remember how he told her "I like taking care of you."? Her being with him is the only reason why she was being attacked.
"If you love someone, set them free..."

Couldnt agree more with bolded. I think you have a point about the affect of constant negative SM. It's all very well for me to imagine what that might feel like & to hope that someone can ignore it or brush it off. But actually dealing with it daily while growing a new relationship in the public eye while being in a new country away from friends & family. Well.... That is one tall order. No matter how thick skinned you think you are, its gotta get through & make a tricky situation that bit harder. I can imagine Nicks perspective on the Sm hate being useful to a point, but he wd have had so much longer to deal with it. As the happy couple it totally sucks to have that trampled down immediately the finale airs. It always seems like the f2 gets more love (apart from Nick as F2!) than the happy couple. Even knowing this is the deal cant protect you from feeling sad or under constant attack from nasty SM, imo.
Yes @notarose I do agree this must take its toll. I always hv believed that the best approach wd be to leave the spotlight entirely & do normal jobs again asap. But that is not always possible for some for so many reasons.
I would probably do the same as Vanessa did & defend myself on SM. Ignoring it only works for some of it.
All imo.

[notarose]

@ukglasgowkiiss
I think it's a quagmire in Nick's case. Being on DWTS provided the public an opportunity to judge him but in a different way, his dance skills instead of his character. In their JKL interview Nick said Vanessa was more excited about it than he was and she did talk more about it in that interview. But then the rag mags turned it into rumors about Vanessa. A quagmire. IMO it shouldn't matter if someone becomes a waiter or an accountant or an entertainer. It's just a job. All people have a right to make their own choices.
Also, a double standard surfaced. Nick in entertainment is somehow bad while Vanessa on freeSTYLE was seen as a great opportunity. Fickle, right?

Montreal press has always been so positive toward them regardless of what they did. I think they are the gold standard. Now that the end has come I have no doubt that Vanessa will continue to be positively written about in her hometown and that will allow her to regain her bearings. Good people those Montrealers

[MonicaJM2001]

@chrissy1295 yes, the bolded definitely didn't sound like a formalaic franchise line - more "common speech". I could see Nick continuing to support No Better You in some way. Perhaps as simple as promoting her next fundraiser on SM.
One thing that hasn't been talked about is public scrutinity. It had been talked about a lot by both Nick and especially Vanessa. Up until very recently she was still commenting back to random trolls on her IG. I don't think she was ever able to  not be emotionally impacted by Bach nation fan response. Imagine every time you post a pic having to see THAT on your SM.  Every day beginning during the airing of the show until now is a long time. If she didn't post of Nick she would be told they broke up; if she did she would be told he wasn't smiling; if she posted a pic asking people to tag and compliment someone she would be asked where's Nick. Randomly fans would tell her Nick should have picked someone else. This kind of sh*t is very much out of the realm of control for either of them yet would have impacted both of them because V was very bothered by it, spoke about it often in interviews, and would have had mostly Nick as the one to talk about it with. Not a good thing to have to deal with.
I do think there was much more good in this relationship than not good. I think the relationship ended but not because one or the other was at fault. I do think the excessive scrutinity they were under brought undo stress that interfered with progress. Not because either believed what was being said, just because it was so constant and sad. Nick would have been powerless to protect her from this daily barrage of  hurtfulness. Remember how he told her "I like taking care of you."? Her being with him is the only reason why she was being attacked.
"If you love someone, set them free..."

This is long (I'm drinking like 32 ounces of coffee right now ) Regarding above, I could see this as a possible factor for sure but it breaks my heart to think how it had to come to that. The amount of vicious hate on SM/media that has been unrelentingly hurled towards Nick over the past 4 years is just absolutely horrific. In general it is horrific all of the hateful comments people get on the internet whether they are reality or other type of celebrities. They are HUMANS first. People will argue that well "so and so gets hate too" however IMO as far as the bachelor franchise goes, Nick has been the most attacked and trolled of any of them BY FAR. I really hate the saying too "well he is the one the put himself out there for it multiple times." That argument always bothers me because it is basically condoning nasty actions and comments of the trolls/attackers and giving them free reign instead of shaming them rightfully for being awful humans (JMO). With Nick always being under attack, it was inevitable that Vanessa as his obvious (IMO) choice and eventual fiance was going to get raked over the coals just because she fell in love with Nick. How dare she attempt to let this man have his happy ending, she must be punished! I would bet money had Vanessa done what many were saying/hoping and rejected Nick's proposal, all of the trolls would have celebrated her and been less cruel. She was always going to get some SM trolls, they all do but the intensity of it increased IMO as soon as the writing was on the wall that Nick was picking her and was in love with her. While it's easy to say just ignore the trolls/scrutiny that is not realistic in this world we live in when they are everywhere on every post and even in person or out in the media. I don't doubt Nissa did their very best to live a normal life without it but again it was everywhere. They couldn't even leave a grocery store without Nick getting flogged for Vanessa carrying the bags. I don't think just one factor played into the decision to break up and I do think the introvert vs extrovert personalities could have drained them both mentally but IMO one thing that seemed very important to Nick was trying to protect the relationship/V as much as possible from all of the hype and scrutiny. He has dealt with all the hate and negativity directly at his own for 4 years now. While not fun he was probably able to cope with it on his own in his own way but when someone he has fallen in love with by association got thrown in the fire he seemed very determined to protect her as much as he could and he even said he tried to guide her and help her cope with the negativity but it was an uphill battle from the start. I can't fault Nissa if the stress of this caused them to come to this decision. They are both very stubborn people from what we've seen of them on the show, individually and together and I completely believe that it was a very difficult decision and they were/are disappointed at the outcome they came to. If one or both started to realize the other person was starting to lose some of what they loved about them by trying to stick it out I could totally see them sitting down and re-evaluating everything. One thing I always appreciate(d) about Nissa is the realistic and transparent approach they take/took with how they portrayed their relationship. Some have said they set "low expectations." I view it as realistic, healthy expectations, but whatever one wants to call it, it made this unfortunate parting way less dramatic and shocking to viewers. For me it was definitely a blow when i first read about it yesterday however it had way less impact than if they had gone the usual route the other couples took with the over the top gushy, "I'll marry you tomorrow!" type stances before even really knowing the person. IMO alot of fans would have ended up even more taken aback and upset by a break up. Nissa are both IMO outstanding people who deserve true happiness in their lives and they will both eventually find it. I totally get those who are having those "romantic" tendencies to imagine Nissa could reunite, I can't help but carry even the smallest hope of it, however one thing that stuck out to me is how Nick described that he wanted to be "definitive" throughout his Bachelor and I think the same applied for both him and Vanessa when making this ultimate choice about the relationship. If the universe aligns and they have some sort of romantic, fairytale ending saved usually or Hollywood movies then great but as it stands now I accept it as what it is and just await to see what Nick does next.

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