Bachelorette 13 - Rachel Lindsay - Episode 7 - July 10 - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

@Rolly you are so right.  IMHO that in describable feeling was not there, and he knew it was time to leave and that hurt both, but in the long run it was for the best. IMHO

Rolly wrote:W

MiaHawk wrote:I found the whole story about Peter's ex to be a bit odd and perplexing.... So he decides to move out/move on from his ex, and he leaves her standing there crying and waving goodbye in his rearview mirror, but he has the resolve to keep on driving. Ok, that's fine in my book. I'm not going to judge him on that, because sometimes it is better to make a clean break and the other person just has to come to terms with it on their own time table. Break ups are never simple or easy. IMO

BUT...then he lost me when he said he still feels guilty about it. What?! If he did the correct thing and broke up with someone who wasn't right for him AND he did it in the correct manner, then there is nothing to feel guilty about, IMO.

So....to me this is a big red flag. He either broke up correctly and still harbored some weird guilt about it, or he did not break up correctly for what I can only imagine was his own lack of being emotionally aware and able to effectively communicate. Or, the ex was a wacko who needed to be dumped....but that doesn't jive with the guilt! Ay yi yi! What a strange confession he made! IMO.

I think you can feel guilt bc you hurt someone even if it was the right thing to do and done in the right way. He used the word guilt but I understood him to mean more sadness for hurting her.JMO.

That was my impression as well. I've only broken up with someone once and I felt really guilty about, because I don't like hurting people's feelings. Simple as. It was most definitely the right thing to do since I just wasn't feeling it and I ended it as soon as I realised that, but he was pretty broken up about it and I felt responsible. The guilt was soon replaced by annoyance though since he refused to accept it was over, but Peter probably didn't have such "luck".

lleyki wrote:
The guys from Two Bros and Some Brick's recap of his date is hilarious. I love those guys. Some of their fans are coming for them for not being on the Peter train but I think they are being completely fair and honest in their views. And for the record, yes, they rag on Bryan too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j3IJ06Cxag

Thanks for the link. "Algorithm"! Now I'm feeling like I need to watch them all.

Rolly wrote:W

MiaHawk wrote:I found the whole story about Peter's ex to be a bit odd and perplexing.... So he decides to move out/move on from his ex, and he leaves her standing there crying and waving goodbye in his rearview mirror, but he has the resolve to keep on driving. Ok, that's fine in my book. I'm not going to judge him on that, because sometimes it is better to make a clean break and the other person just has to come to terms with it on their own time table. Break ups are never simple or easy. IMO

BUT...then he lost me when he said he still feels guilty about it. What?! If he did the correct thing and broke up with someone who wasn't right for him AND he did it in the correct manner, then there is nothing to feel guilty about, IMO.

So....to me this is a big red flag. He either broke up correctly and still harbored some weird guilt about it, or he did not break up correctly for what I can only imagine was his own lack of being emotionally aware and able to effectively communicate. Or, the ex was a wacko who needed to be dumped....but that doesn't jive with the guilt! Ay yi yi! What a strange confession he made! IMO.

I think you can feel guilt bc you hurt someone even if it was the right thing to do and done in the right way. He used the word guilt but I understood him to mean more sadness for hurting her.JMO.

You know how Adam seems to have an aversion to the word "difficult"? I think I have an aversion to the words "feel guilty". Personally, I think you may be correct in that Peter may have felt sadness seeing his ex so upset. Sadness seems appropriate. IF sadness is in the moment or in the short term after the event. You gave it a try, it didn't work, and even if it's uncomfortable you made the tough decision to end it. Nothing to feel happy about, just sadness for the end of the dream. Fine. IMO

But....all this time later (when did this happen?) and he still gets choked up talking about it? and he retells the story with such melodrama? "My car was packed. She stood waving goodbye with tears streaming down her face. In my rear view mirror as I drove away" (paraphrased). I probably love a flowery, descriptive story more than most. I love imagery. A descriptive story conjures up emotion, and apparently this story conjured up some deep seeded ones in Peter. I was left wondering: Is he over his ex? Is he crying about the ex's pain or his own realization that he was not a very good boyfriend? Can he handle emotional expressions from others? From himself? Why is he still haunted by that break-up? It just seemed a bit odd to me. It was a break-up with a girlfriend. It wasn't the end of a marriage or the death of a spouse or walking in on a cheating partner. It was what I would call 'normal life' stuff. And it seems to be still bothering him. (I say still, but don't know how long ago this occurred. Anyone know?) IMO.

^IA that the breakup with Peter still bothers him based on him getting emotional while talking about it. I don't know why it does, but it does IMO. This, among other things is why I don't think he'll ever get to the place where we see him say on screen that he's  completely in love with Rachel, especially with there being only a few epis left. IMO

coolangel wrote:

albean99 wrote:To me, if Peter were acting he wouldn't be showing any doubts at all. Bryan is the one I question because he doesn't seem realistic. i feel like he's in it to win it more than genuinely falling for Rachel. For her sake I hope I'm wrong and she's right.

If he doesn't show doubts, he runs the risk of the lead picking him in the end which IMO wasn't what he wanted. IMO He played his part to perfection.

I personally hope no one shows up just to win but IMO If someone is in it to win it, I would much rather hope they are in it to win the lead and not win the job of being the next lead.

All JMO

Exactly! You say it girl. He hasn't been showing much interest all season, and now at the end he so broken -hearted (yeah right ) if it was Bryan then I would believe because he has been displaying interest all season

I just watched Rachel's dates with Peter and Bryan and whilst I loved both, there's no hiding the incredible connection and chemistry she and Bryan have. IMO it's off the planet.

pbmax wrote:

coolangel wrote:

albean99 wrote:To me, if Peter were acting he wouldn't be showing any doubts at all. Bryan is the one I question because he doesn't seem realistic. i feel like he's in it to win it more than genuinely falling for Rachel. For her sake I hope I'm wrong and she's right.

If he doesn't show doubts, he runs the risk of the lead picking him in the end which IMO wasn't what he wanted. IMO He played his part to perfection.

I personally hope no one shows up just to win but IMO If someone is in it to win it, I would much rather hope they are in it to win the lead and not win the job of being the next lead.

All JMO

Exactly!  You say it girl. He hasn't been showing much interest all season,  and now at the end he so broken -hearted  (yeah right ) if it was Bryan then I would believe because he has been displaying interest all season

I really think Peter likes Rachel but not all that much. He's wanted to be on the Bachelor for a long time and I think he's doing enough to get that gig. That doesn't make him a bad guy but not the guy for Rachel. And that story...it seemed like he was acting to me because he broke up with her and probably others. The emotion and the way he told the story (the dramatic details) seemed off to me.

lleyki wrote:

The guys from Two Bros and Some Brick's recap of his date is hilarious. I love those guys. Some of their fans are coming for them for not being on the Peter train but I think they are being completely fair and honest in their views. And for the record, yes, they rag on Bryan too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j3IJ06Cxag

Hysterical - I totally agree on the Peter stuff! It's one on few places that totally sees what I see when he's on screen. His season as the Bachelor, if there is one, will be wake up call for a lot of "fans"'IMO.

bleuberry wrote:

Alanna wrote:Rachel is probably pissed at this edit, she thought everyone would fall in love with Bryan like she did. Welcome to this show, Rach.

Do you think he's getting a bad edit @Alanna?

I think so, yeah, all we see is lust and nothing beyond that. Maybe they do have the emotional and mental too but we don't see it and don't know about it.

One interesting thing though is that I realized all my fav f1's (personal fav) have always been highly skeptical of the show but stayed through gritted teeth for the lead despite being visibly frustrated by production shenanigans (Japes, Shawn and Baddy for me). Bryan seems to have bought into the show hook, line and sinker like Josh or Whitney and already in luvvvv with the fairytale and the whole hoopla of the show. Just interesting to me, wonder how that impacts his real relationship with rachel down the line.

When you are someone who has a lot of empathy, is sensitive and have a tender heart, and you hurt someone who you care about feelings, it take a while for the guilt and shame to go away.  
I see Peter as someone who is not perfect, but to understand his life and its story went to therapy to facilitate a path forward, and keep his life and thoughts in balance.  Him coming on this show might have been the step he needed to finally move on with his life.  I see the amazing connection that he has with Rachel, the respect and tenderness that he has showed towards her.  I know my colored glass may not fit everyone (hopefully my thoughts are accepted).  
Hearing Rachel say that though out this journey although Peter had the first date and did not get one until the last 1 on 1 date, she has miss him, long for him, and wanted him more tells me he was always on her mind.  He does admit to struggling with the process and thought of going home, but he use that first date to center him self because he was interested in her.  To me that is all she could have asked and hope for, as she acknowledge to the him that she was glad he was still there, to the cameras she said she got scared hearing that.  She acknowledge that it was good to remember,  because she was once in his position.  
Their date may not be as elaborate as all the others, but in her blog she said that did not matter to Peter, because he was such a down to earth person and that I believe impress her.  Her blog was again a love letter to him. Reading it carefully I can see what his presence in her life has meant.  Their talk at dinner was serious but needed, and I am glad to see a conversation where the tongue swapping was not prominent but introspection and thoughtful dialogue was keep toward a future relationship.  
Their playfulness/flirting on this date was so good to see and hearing Rachel laugh with glee did my heart good. There is more to say but I will leave for later.  These are my thoughts, I can only hope that we will agree to disagree and that they are welcome.  This is all my opinion. To the wonderful mods if this needs to be move feel free to do so.

sfrank wrote:

lleyki wrote:

The guys from Two Bros and Some Brick's recap of his date is hilarious. I love those guys. Some of their fans are coming for them for not being on the Peter train but I think they are being completely fair and honest in their views. And for the record, yes, they rag on Bryan too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j3IJ06Cxag

Hysterical - I totally agree on the Peter stuff! It's one on few places that totally sees what I see when he's on screen. His season as the Bachelor, if there is one,  will be wake up call for a lot of "fans"'IMO.

My first time watching their recap and these guys are great. So funny and on point with everything. I like me some Bryan but the ragging on Bryan is on point and legit too. And they weren't buying Peter's BS and see through his sensitive act. Thanks for sharing, @lleyki.