Becca Tilly & Hayley Kiyoko - Bachelor 19-20 - Discussion

IA with those who posted that using the term queer is an offensive term. It is not widely accepted in the LGBTQ community. The Q in LGBTQ doesn't necessarily stand for Queer, but rather "Question".

Social environment has nothing to do with sexual orientation. That is just as ludicrous to say that social environment has made me a straight woman.

I live my life being acceptance of everyone, regardless of race religion sexual preference country of origin colour etc, I try to maintain an inclusive community where everyone is welcome and has the opportunity to post their opinions within the rules, with the utmost respect. People should not be labelled in a negative manner just because they aren't heterosexual.

The word “queer always makes me giggle”.

My Grandma always said “queer “ back in the day and still before she died. My grandma loved everybody equally

she didn’t mean any harm by it. I said Gram plead dont call them that. And she said Homosexual sounded so much worse and “queer” was a fun and hipper and I love them all!

I didn’t have the heart to say you may be insulting them. (She would have forever have felt bad that she hurt somebody) she didnt have much time left.

Have to love the elders. They really dont know.

Any survivor fans out there will know RUDY he was the same way he didnt know he was insulting anybody its just the word they used.

When some members of the LGBTQ community choose to call themselves queers, as seen numerous times on TV or online, I don’t see what the fuss is about the use of this vocabulary. It’s oversensitivity from some and it’s becoming quite impossible to express any observation or comment regarding this community without being lectured. Whatever the term chosen to talk about heterosexuals, there’s always going to be someone offended by the choice of word or the way it is presented.
Hopefully Becca will have a thick skin when coming out because I guess quite a few of her followers won’t pick, voluntarily or not, the “politically correct” terms for comments on social media.

First time posting, and decided to jump into this debate!

From my personal experiences with those who identify with the LGBTQ community nowadays, the term "queer" has denoted more of an umbrella term for those that do not strictly adhere to the respective definitions of lesbian, gay, or bisexual, which otherwise does not have a term to refer to. For those who do not conform to the traditional identifications of gender and therefore use the phrase "queer-identified" or "identify as queer" as a way of better expressing their sexual orientation, I don't see the offensiveness of using that terminology, especially as it becomes increasingly accepted in that context.

As I say that, the key is that context of course matters, and the manner in which it is used as well. IMO, flippantly saying "queers" with the implication of considering sexual orientation to be a product of social environment is somewhat ignorant. IMO, saying "queers" is comparable to saying "illegals" to refer to illegal/undocumented immigrants, if that's a clearer analogy of how that particular term demonstrates disrepect. (Not trying to make this remotely political, just trying to create an analogy.)

Again, all JME and IMO.

Also, I hope I did this first post right

Maybe Becca has no intention to come out on social media. Perhaps she IS living the life she wants freely, and the people who matter to her know her, who she is, and are happy for her. Perhaps after the semi public last relationships, and the public opinion on sm made her realise, that being more private is better for her. I don't know anyone, eho has said, that opening their life and relationship to the social media scrutiny has made the relationship better. Imo.

Cocoasneeze wrote:

Or perhaps the parents are just hoping their children are happy. Why would they wonder about anything?? I don't know about Becca's siblings, but she seems like a level headed, well rounded person, it looks like her parents have no reason to wonder anything about her, just be proud of her.

Well said.

The only thing LA might have to do with people ending up in same-sex relationships is that it offers a wider variety of options, and that is a great thing! I've yet to hear anyone say they wish they'd lived their life more repressed or unfulfilled. As long as people have love in their lives, who cares what shape or form it comes in? It certainly shouldn't cause anyone to wonder "what went wrong". JMOAA. And it's actually not uncommon to have more than one LGBT+ person in the same family/extended family, which makes sense considering family members tend to have both nature and nurture in common, at least to an extent.

ETA: I do think Becca and Hayley will make things public eventually if it's serious, which is kind of seems to be IMO. Here's Hayley's comment on Becca's beach pic yesterday. It was taken last Sunday when they were at the beach together with Caroline and some others.


My SC

The Bachelor @BachelorABC Oct 9
Love seeing @deanie_babies, @beccatilley5, and @benhiggi on the @AMAs red carpet! #AMAs pic.twitter.com/2DksfWT6vI

It's not the term but the context used which was a negative context asking what her parents would think with a negative context like there's something wrong with their child. It's the context that matters here and per forum rules anything leaning towards negativity in regards to sexuality is prohibited.

If someone who is LGBTQ wishes to use whatever term they want it's their prerogative. On the forum though it's not to be used in a negative connotation or context. What others do on SM or elsewhere has nothing to do with the forum.

The forum rules are no negativity in regards to sexual orientation, etc. Please keep that in mind with future posts and if one cannot be respectful and mindful please refrain from posting in regards to someone's sexuality. TY

@AllAboutLove Well said, exactly that.

Personally it bothers me that it would matter at all. If any of her fans are opposed to same sex couples, unfollow her.

Pirouette wrote:When some members of the LGBTQ community choose to call themselves queers, as seen numerous times on TV or online, I don’t see what the fuss is about the use of this vocabulary. It’s oversensitivity from some and it’s becoming quite impossible to express any observation or comment regarding this community without being lectured. Whatever the term chosen to talk about heterosexuals, there’s always going to be someone offended by the choice of word or the way it is presented.
Hopefully Becca will have a thick skin when coming out because I guess quite a few of her followers won’t pick, voluntarily or not, the “politically correct” terms for comments on social media.

Since it appears you are not satisfied with the several posters who kindly posted clarification, pardon me while I add. It has nothing to do with being overly sensitive. It has to do with being rude towards someone's sexuality, which your post consisted of, along with your personal view that it may be society that has influenced Becca's sexual preference which IMHO is totally ignorant of facts. Your post suggested there was something wrong with her, and you wondered what her family would think. There is nothing wrong with her. She is entitled to a relationship with a man or woman or both, or whatever she wants.

Back to Becca.

Last day of voting for the People's Choice Awards. They were recording a part of next week's podcast episode live on air with Ryan Seacrest this Tuesday.



https://www.eonline.com/shows/peoples_choice_awards/news/978033/becca-tilley-and-tanya-rad-admit-it-s-overwhelming-being-named-a-pcas-finalist

I've never liked Becca but I’m on her side when it comes to her sexuality. It’s completely up to her to decide what and if she decides to talk about.

Hayley left for her European tour on Friday and on Thursday she was with Becca, because she posted an IG story from Becca's apartment and then at some lake/bay, and the following day they both posted pictures with the same lake in the background. Then yesterday Becca posted another picture from that same day, she was posing with some colourful maple leaves and the caption said she drove 3 hours the other day to experience the fall feeling that makes her think of Taylor Swift's "All too well". So clearly she and Hayley took a road trip before she left. But then Becca deleted that picture like an hour later, not sure why. She also did a little IG live around the same time. She was just lying on her couch and people were asking her questions, but someone asked how's Hayley and she answered that she's great and in London right now for her European tour, and told people to go see her if there. She ignored all the dating questions though, whether about Hayley or Ben () or in general. She also answered "Yes, I support the LGBTQ community" when someone asked, and said her favourite Taylor Swift song is "All too well" which she referenced in the caption of the post she deleted. I might be imagining things, but somehow I just got the feeling someone was missing her girl and kind of felt like sharing, but then thought better of it. Hayley will be gone for another two weeks at least, but Becca said her friends have planned a surprised birthday trip for her so I guess that'll be next weekend. I wonder if JoJo is going because I think she mentioned going on a trip right before her birthday in some interview.