Becca Tilly & Hayley Kiyoko - Bachelor 19-20 - Discussion

Pirouette wrote:That’s just the opposite for me.
To each his own.
I personally feel like I lost my time getting invested in Becca’s life after her first Bachelor season and following her on SM.
When one doesn’t know who they are and what they want, it’s dishonest, egoistic and ridiculous to go on a dating show.

Becca is a big disappointment to me for many reasons.

How many people in their mid-twenties know exactly who they are and what they want? She's still young and learning things about herself every day. I think she's showing a lot of growth lately just by being a lot more private and less active on SM. It's always good when people learn from their past mistakes. JMO.

As for going on the Bachelor, pretty sure 99% of the contestants go for the experience, and recently shilling opportunities, and if love happens it's a bonus. It didn't for Becca, so what? I don't see anything dishonest, egoistic or ridiculous about it, but that's JMO. None of these attractive young people need a TV show to find love.

IA @Sprite, good post.

It doesn't matter to me one bit who Becca wants to be with. I have a hard time believing she's trying to figure things out.

I also think she has been a lost soul for sometime now and have said so several times. I think this is in part due to her wanting to be liked. Satisfying her fans.

Now apparently she has become more private. This is a big change in SM behaviour then in the past. Of course there is going to be speculation and of course IMHO there will be questions of her time on two bach season's, and dating Robert and the fact that she very rarely dated.

IMO if she found the one, why the need to be quiet about it. Again, to satisfy fans, afraid of the reaction? I'd tell them all where to go if they didn't like it, it would not be a concern of mine. I don't think Becca would be the first person Hayley has dated, so I'm not sure if they are a couple, why they aren't celebrating their love.

Anyone else think its interesting that Becca's story today had a picture saying "Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectations", and that Hayley always likes her photos and didn't like her most recent post? It also seems shes hanging with Ben at an event tonight. Seems like some low-key digs going on.

Side note, Hayleys album is called Expectations.

No doubt in my mind that people in their twenties do and should experience life and don’t totally know what they want.
BUT when you sign up on a televised dating show whose purpose is to get engaged, you have to be ready for this eventuality. Becca knew she was very closed off,she knew she was taking an engagement very seriously and not as a promise to date and as she claimed multiple times on her podcasts she knew she likes being independent and not in a relationship. She had no place on this show IMO. Especially going twice.
Of course, like many other contestants, she must rightfully have been attracted to the travels aspect of it, and all other perks of a reality show. But she should have graciously stepped out, leave the show and give her spot to somebody else if she knew she didn’t have strong enough feelings for the lead. That’s egoistic to stay near the end when other girls didn’ want to be eliminated. She had the opportunity to leave in Bali after the fantasy date night, but she didn’t. On the contrary, when Chris Soules hesitated between her and Kaitlyn, she told him that going to Arlington was not off the table. If she knew there was no way she was moving there, she was dishonest to make him believe she could.
It’s not only about the fans perpective and what they expect from the contestant. There were guys with genuine feelings for her involved.
If Becca doesn’t know what she wants, fine, no problem. But she shouldn’t mislead them. She shouldn’t have stayed up to the finale if she didn’t have strong feelings for Chris S. As for Robert Graham, he has been kept on the back burner for a long time with a on off relationship after their break up and recently again on a podcast, she replied never say never to a possibility of rekindling a romance with him.
I do believe she is confused and Hayley K may be the next one in line to be led on.

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To me seem that she the one that more invested in this relationship that Hayley.
She had been jet set to everyone just to stay with Hayley for few days and fly back to LA again

Pirouette wrote:No doubt in my mind that people in their twenties do and should experience life and don’t totally know what they want.
BUT when you sign up on a televised dating show whose purpose is to get engaged, you have to be ready for this eventuality. Becca knew she was very closed off,she knew she was taking an engagement very seriously and not as a promise to date and as she claimed multiple times on her podcasts she knew she likes being independent and not in a relationship. She had no place on this show IMO. Especially going twice.
Of course, like many other contestants, she must rightfully have been attracted to the travels aspect of it, and all other perks of a reality show. But she should have graciously stepped out, leave the show and give her spot to somebody else if she knew she didn’t have strong enough feelings for the lead. That’s egoistic to stay near the end when other girls didn’ want to be eliminated. She had the opportunity to leave in Bali after the fantasy date night, but she didn’t. On the contrary, when Chris Soules hesitated between her and Kaitlyn, she told him that going to Arlington was not off the table. If she knew there was no way she was moving there, she was dishonest to make him believe she could.
It’s not only about the fans perpective and what they expect from the contestant. There were guys with genuine feelings for her involved.
If Becca doesn’t know what she wants, fine, no problem. But she shouldn’t mislead them. She shouldn’t have stayed up to the finale if she didn’t have strong feelings for Chris S. As for Robert Graham, he has been kept on the back burner for a long time with a on off relationship after their break up and recently again on a podcast, she replied never say never to a possibility of rekindling a romance with him.
I do believe she is confused and Hayley K may be the next one in line to be led on.

She wasn't the lead on Chris's season, Chris was, and if he wanted to keep her around then that was his choice. I thought Becca was very honest with him throughout, more so than most people, yet he still wanted her, so clearly he wasn't that invested in the others. He chose someone else anyway in the end, and since he could only choose one, it's not like Becca ruined his chances of finding a wife. In fact she made sure not to do that by telling him she can't accept a proposal. And she did Kaitlyn a favour IMO, since being F3 set her up nicely for the Bachelorette. I think it's pretty clear that Whitney was never going to quit her job and move to Arlington full-time either, she just did and said whatever she needed to win, because she was in love with the idea of Chris. Unpopular opinion perhaps, but that's how I've always felt. JMO.

As for Robert, she broke up with him. If he was willing to come back for more without commitment, that's his problem. He's an adult. Becca clearly had feelings for him and had a hard time letting go, but it's been months since the "never say never", which was a reply to a question. I think Robert may be dating Charly Jordan anyway recently, which creeps me the hell out since she's 19. I hope it's not what it seems. JMO.

In any case, dating is a way to figure out if you're right for each other. Sometimes (most times really) it doesn't end in marriage. That doesn't mean there was nothing there and the more invested one was led on. It's all about honesty IMO. As far as I know, Becca's never claimed to be in love when she wasn't and I give her props for that. It's so easy to just say what you think the other person wants to hear because you're scared of being alone. That is what's egotistical and dishonest IMHO.

Seem Hayley had stop liking Becca photos , don't know If anything happens to them

@mindless,
I see your points and agree with some of them.
But I wished Becca had left on her own, did not accept a rose, like some other contestants did in previous seasons, knowing she wouldn’t be able to get engaged. That was the name of the game. If one can’t follow the rules, one can’t play. Chris S. was so smitten he kept her until the end in hopes to get her to open up. Becca shouldn’t have waited until the last few days (or the day before the finale) to let him know she didn’t want to be engaged at the end. As much as I find this totally reasonable, the Bachelor show is not about finding somebody to date.
What was the most desingenuous to me was when she went back for a second season (Ben’s). She was clearly not fitted to fall in love in such a short amount of time and get engaged at the end. So why come back?
As for Robert, even if he’s a big boy with free will, he was nonetheless strung along. Becca sending a text “I miss you” to Robert when broken up and trying to move on, is a good example of not knowing what she wants and playing with his feelings.
She never claimed to be in love but she never made it clear there was no chance she would get there either, even if, IMO, she knew it.
Becca is a big deception to me.

On a different note, I suspect like you do that Robert and Charly are dating. She is very young, but seems to be rather mature in her thoughts and goal oriented . The two of them could be a good match.

@chrisyy001
I believe Becca and Hayley K. are still together. Liking each other’s instagram, possibly currently spending time together. Becca latest instagram is telling IMO.

Dodger Stadium
https://www.instagram.com/p/BnCw0nSnGZm/?taken-by=beccatilley
beccatilley
From what I remember, I was cool, calm, and collected.

@Pirouette We're gonna have to agree to disagree about Chris's season. I know an engagement seems to have become a "must" on this show, but it wasn't always like that. There have been seasons ending in dating or promise rings before, and Becca was open to dating Chris at the time. I don't see what harm it did to leave that decision up to him, when he had all the facts and chose accordingly, as in Whitney. Becca had a crush on Ben and the producers asked her to come back, so she did. She clearly thinks the world of Ben still, they even talked about him on the podcast today because of the charity ping pong event, so I can see why she gave it a go. At least she got JoJo out of it. And Ben, like many other leads, would have been better off not proposing to anyone anyway. He was so not ready. JMO.

@Maddy She talked about meeting Mila and Ashton on the podcast today. Apparently Mila stopped her and was like "I didn't want to freak out but I just wanted to say I love you!" and Becca was like "Are you kidding me?! I love you!" and then she mentioned how when she sees them in interviews talking about watching the show she thinks "Oh my gosh, they maybe know who I am" and Ashton apparently went "Oh, we know." They're going to try to get Mila on the podcast, I hope it happens!

I didn’t realize how many brands Becca endorses on Instagram

McDonalds/Ubereats
Doordash
Dr Pepper
Stacys snacks
Lulus
Infiniti
Nordstrom
L'Oréal

All in the past 6 weeks!