Becca Tilly & Hayley Kiyoko - Bachelor 19-20 - Discussion

Aria wrote:I think it's super obvious they're dating. It's not about being friends with someone who is gay, it is about going on romantic getaways with them and posting pictures captioned "but you look at me like I give you butterflies". I personally think that thinking this is just a platonic friendship is the stretch and people are having a hard time accepting it, but JMO!

@Aria,
This thread certainly covers the spectrum. I agree with you. IMO confusion is not the issue, Becca knows what she’s doing and it’s what she wants to do. Her issue is gauging and reconciling impact to her fan base because they pay her bills and her sponsors whose products she represents. Looking at comments here, she has reason for concern. JMO

I think she definitely like Hayley a lot by admit that they are dating if not she can say she single and no one really know since she so private about it. I think her main concern is what would people react when people find out that she dating a women. As most of her fans are straight man or woman.

Aria wrote:Yeah, it's much more common than people think. I remember Oprah did a show a decade ago in which she brought on a bunch on women who were all in their 40s and up and had been married (to men) and had children and all that  and ended up having relationships with women and defined themselves as gay. I personally know a family friend whose wife divorced him because she fell in love with another woman. I think sexuality is a weird and complicated thing and I don't think it's as easy sometimes as just labeling someone "straight", "gay", or "bisexual". I don't think Becca trying to figure out what she wants is "sad" or means that she doesn't know what she wants or that Hayley is somehow using her or whatever the insinuations are. She's doing what most 20-somethings are doing and is dating and figuring of what she wants out of life and relationships. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, IMO.

I definitely agree with this. I think a lot of times people just don't know till they know or experience it. And if they grew up with the idea that a man should be with a woman and thats what they always sought in life, they could very well have not known they had an attraction to women until they were actually with a woman.

The whole Colton thing is pretty entertaining though. They sure would be a good-looking couple. Hahaha.

ReneeM wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:This is what I'm confused about. I know several gay people, some are very close family. They all realized they were gay in puberty. I don't understand how now in their late 20's they are questioning themselves.

I would love to know if this is a common thing at that age.

It's not uncommon My cousin was in her late 20's, has a daughter, and dated men her whole life, and fell in love with a woman she worked with and they've been together for years now and are having twins. Some people know early in life, others take longer to figure it out. Idk what Becca's actual sexuality is and I'm not really interested in speculating on it, it seems pretty obvious to me that she's dating Hayley and while she might not be my personal fave, I think she's one of the nicer people in the franchise and if she's happy then good for her. I'm one of those "sexuality is a spectrum" millennials and I don't see the need for labels. I think people should date whoever they want regardless of gender and not feel pressured to label themselves as one thing so other people can feel comfortable. Jmo

I'm not a millennial but I'm right there with you, always have been. Everyone should date or get married to whomever they want.

I just hoped that if it is common it's not because they are still concerned of making it public. That's another thing, IMO no one needs to or should have to make it "public". Just do what you want. If she or anyone else brought a member of the same sex to a party and introduced them as their g/f or b/f there shouldn't be any labelling or surprise. It should just be like any other couple, to me there is no difference.

I too think that she may be weighing in on the affect it might have on her fan base if in fact there is a relationship, which IMHO should be the least of her concerns. If someone doesn't like it, don't follow her. I only say that because I have always thought she is insecure, and wants people to like her. To me, that is the issue with some of the former contestants, as I've just read in another thread about K. They should not ever concern themselves with SM comments, it's destructive and not healthy IMHO.

Life is way too short. She needs to shout it through the roof. If she is in love do not deny yourself of that. It sure is worth more than how many followers you have.

And if you lose some people in the meanwhile. You are much better without them to begin with, They did you a favour.

Life sucks when you live with regret. Embrace your love and if its forever,,,fantastic. If not its one step closer to who you are and achieving love on your terms.

Go for it Becca.

nikikass wrote:Life is way too short.   She needs to shout it through the roof.   If she is in love do not deny yourself of that.  It sure is worth more than how many followers you have.

And if you lose some people in the meanwhile. You are much better without them to begin with,  They did you a favour.

Life sucks when you live with regret.   Embrace your love and if its forever,,,fantastic.  If not its one step closer to who you are and achieving love on your terms.

Go for it Becca.

Love and totally agree.

Becca mentioned on the podcast yesterday that she had someone coming over to stay that night and she was planning to cook all kinds of stuff. Tanya couldn't believe it because Becca never cooks, so they went on about it for a while. I immediately checked Hayley's tour schedule, because obviously, and she had a day off yesterday with gigs in San Jose today and LA tomorrow. Then I looked at her stories from yesterday and they're 100% from Becca's apartment, both the door and the floor match. I feel like such a creeper.

mindless wrote:Becca mentioned on the podcast yesterday that she had someone coming over to stay that night and she was planning to cook all kinds of stuff. Tanya couldn't believe it because Becca never cooks, so they went on about it for a while. I immediately checked Hayley's tour schedule, because obviously, and she had a day off yesterday with gigs in San Jose today and LA tomorrow. Then I looked at her stories from yesterday and they're 100% from Becca's apartment, both the door and the floor match. I feel like such a creeper.

@mindless
See, she was excited, right? Cooking, having fun. It's how it is. She's fine. JMO

@Chgohighlife Yeah, totally. She seemed to be putting a lot of thought and effort into it, which isn't very characteristic of Becca so it says a lot IMO. And she seems really happy in her stories today.

Oh there was also a listener question on the podcast from someone who was the only single person in her friend group, and Tanya kept saying how that's her right now, how all her friends are in relationships or out of town. Kind of confirms Becca is in a relationship IMO.

@mindless good work! I'd say that's confirmation that they're dating, although I guess an argument could be made that they're friends. I just see no reason to be friends in secret basically.

she seem very happy in her latest Instagram story. Probably they spend a good night yesterday and Hayley and now she answering some fans question

Good work with the sleuthing @mindless!

I'm happy that she seems happy. And she seems like she must like her a lot for her to be putting a lot of thought and effort into cooking for her.