Becca Tilly & Hayley Kiyoko - Bachelor 19-20 - Discussion

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So those pics are from an event in May... it's now August so they have been together for awhile. Good for Becca if that is what she wants but can't help but feel that she is lost and continues to seek herself through ways that also bring her attention. IMO

I had never heard about this Kiyoko girl before and the only reason I searched online about her is to get info regarding her relationship with Becca. From what I read on blogs, she takes it as a challenge to go after straight girls and get them to like her. I guess she got her prize with Becca.
I see no future in this relationship especially since Kiyoko is young and in the entertainment business. Except if she gets famous, this could be an incentive for Becca to stay in the spotlight IMO.
It’s none of my business but I have to admit I’m not fond of this relationship for Becca.

Jmho many men from the bach nation have had similar player reputations, and many of them have turned out to be mature, respectable, loyal and dependable boyfriends/fiancés/husbands. It's been quite a while Becca and Hayley gave been hanging out together, and it just could be, that Hayley might turn out the same way the other rumoured players have. Imo.

Pirouette wrote:I had never heard about this Kiyoko girl before and the only reason I searched online about her is to get info regarding her relationship with Becca. From what I read on blogs, she takes it as a challenge to go after straight girls and get them to like her. I guess she got her prize with Becca.
I see no future in this relationship especially since Kiyoko is young and in the entertainment business. Except if she gets famous, this could be an incentive for Becca to stay in the spotlight IMO.
It’s none of my business but I have to admit I’m not fond of this relationship for Becca.

I confess I am still trying to wrap my head around the current thought  that sexual orientation is fluid or on a spectrum.  (At present I think sexual choices/practices seem to be that way, because there appears to my eyes to be an increasing trend of experimentation at various spots along the continuum; however, I'm not yet so sure about inborn orientation being fluid?? I.e. I think to some degree we have choices as to which impulses we act on...from what I read it is common to find people of both sexes attractive, to varying degrees. Even married people make conscious choices to remain faithful to their chosen partner, regardless of how many attractive people of whichever gender or orientation may cross their path... Not sure if I'm making any sense here. I don't think I am bigoted....even my gay friends - admittedly of my own generation - are flummoxed by the varieties of sexual experiences some young individuals participate in. That is, they are not surprised that there is same-sex attraction, of course, but they are surprised at how some young people seem to go through phases in their orientation, akin to trying different careers, perhaps not unlike becca's current "season of life."  It just seems to run counter to their own intuition/understanding of same-sex attraction. Who knows - maybe in the long run these experimenting youth will have a firmer sense of themselves than many had in earlier generations, where it was common for people to marry just to avoid admitting to their homosexuality??)

But  I do wonder about the impact this time of fluidity has had on same-sex friendships... about the confusion a young person might have to deal with if they have strong feelings of affection for a friend.  Do kids now keep their distance from someone they like out of fear it can be misinterpreted?  I know a middle school counselor who said if she went by what the kids talked about with her, fully half of them are thinking they must be gay or bi.  Could this always have been the case, but it was just suppressed?   How many kids are experimenting sexually just to put to rest some of their nagging doubts/questions?  Young people have so many different pressures nowadays... I don't envy them. And they look up to role models who are often very vocal but often no less confused themselves. Basically we all are just looking for acceptance, for someone to love and to love us back, which of course I wish for everyone. If indeed someone who is clear on their sexuality (straight or gay) takes advantage of someone who is confused, lonely, unsettled, I think that is sad....  

If indeed becca is trying to sort this all out for herself, I would imagine part of her issue might be reconciling it all with her church practice? We know she really valued her virginity, too,  so I hope, if hayley is the one for her, or at least meant to be someone important on her life's journey,  she has not put undue pressure on becca to surrender a key part of herself before she is ready.  TBH, I've always thought becca was on the right track about waiting to share herself fully till she was certain, even if only in self-preservation. (I truly do not know how people can float from lover to lover without sustaining unbearable heartache. But then I've never been much of a risk-taker, ...  ) But even above and beyond that, I do see a real beauty in offering the full gift of oneself to only one person (yes I'm ancient).... Jmo

For all we know, these two are a perfect match, and make each other happy, and the only hesitancy on becca's  part is her readiness to be open about things to the world. And so  I'm hoping hayley is not the way the blogs have described her,  but has genuine feelings for her and is willing to be patient with her. Jmho

they already been quite close and cosy with each other on May. And Becca had attend Coachella, hayley release album just to support her.

jen689 wrote:

mindless wrote:...Hayley actually has a self-admitted thing for so called straight women, as in women who are in the closet/in denial/experimenting, so Becca is very much her type in that sense...

Yikes! Is Hayley a player who moves on from woman to woman to teach them her "ways"? Becca may be with her for now. It seems like at some point Hayley is going to move on to her next "project" Will Becca want to continue this lifestyle once she and Hayley split? Do we have any other contestants from the franchise who are "experimenting" like Becca? JMO

I don't know what in my post suggested Hayley is a player who treats women as "projects". The way she talks about it (as a reason she is/was still single) gives me the impression they just aren't serious about it in the end or ready to come out. She was in a 5-year relationship with an openly lesbian woman at some point. She also seems pretty private about her love life no matter who she's dating, so if Becca is dating her, I doubt there's any pressure to make things public. Frankly reading this thread, I hope they do keep things to themselves. Not sure why anyone's sexuality matters. Love is love and relationships are the same regardless of who they're between. I just want Becca to be happy. JMO.

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The thing is Becca doesn’t seem happy IMO.
It looks to me she has been sucked in H. Kiyoko’s world and I do hope she is not being taken advantage of. After her failed attempts at finding/keeping love in the past years, she must be pretty vulnerable. Hearing Becca talk in her podcasts and following her posts, I believe she’s not sure about what she wants. If she was really into Kiyoko, in love and in a serious relationship, she would not hesitate to come out and let the world know about it IMHO.
But I believe she’s confused about her feelings. The fact that she used the term « dating in general » in the People article doesn’t show a big commitment in this relationship in my opinion.

Based on what I’ve read on this thread I’m led to believe Becca and Hayley are more than just friends. Does anyone know for sure or is it all speculation?

@jen689 there hasn't been official confirmation, just speculation. Seems pretty obvious though imo.

Pirouette wrote:The thing is Becca doesn’t seem happy IMO.
It looks to me she has been sucked in H. Kiyoko’s world and I do hope she is not being taken advantage of. After her failed attempts at finding/keeping love in the past years, she must be pretty vulnerable. Hearing Becca talk in her podcasts and following her posts, I believe she’s not sure about what she wants. If she was really into Kiyoko, in love and in a serious relationship, she would not hesitate to come out and let the world know about it IMHO.
But I believe she’s confused about her feelings. The fact that she used the term « dating in general » in the People article doesn’t show a big commitment in this relationship in my opinion.

@Pirouette
IMO sexual orientation is not an easy thing for a fully grown woman to be "sucked in" to. Most women her age or older have been vulnerable at some point due to a broken heart. There is nothing unusual about that. Many single women date for years without finding "the one" especially in large urban environments. Sexuality is not a choice but, it is a decision.

There is much more experimentation today than there used to be so, unless we know differently, we can reasonably assume her partner is her choice and likely made with great forethought and soul searching and not coercion or, games, IMO. Becca will be thirty in a couple of months. I will respect her enough to say she knows who she wants in her bed.

Given her suspected/potential partner is famous, everything is timed. Every announcement, break-up, pregnancy, whatever happens is sometimes tightly controlled by the publicist and management so, I wouldn't assume the fact that there is no announcement really means anything. They could be deeply in love and only their insiders know it or, the announcement could be timed to support an album release or her tour or, they could be strictly platonic friends or, or, or. JMO