Becca Tilly & Hayley Kiyoko - Bachelor 19-20 - Discussion

I'm always a bit confused when I see complaints about contestants changing after the show. We only "know" these people after the show, unless you count the few edited minutes we see of them on the show itself. I feel like more often than not they just don't live up to whatever perception we originally had of them rather than turning into different people. I personally fail to see what Becca used to have that is now gone, except her job at the chiropractic clinic. I listen to her podcast every week, and to me she's still very much the same girl I found myself relating to on Chris's season. On this week's podcast, they had Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist, trying to get to the root of Becca's "issue" or what Tanya (who's the total opposite of Becca in many ways) and the producers seem to think is an issue. I thought that discussion was really interesting and just showed that there's probably nothing wrong with her, she's just a very self-sufficient person who hasn't met her match yet. JMO.

I don't know. I've always found her a little on the shallow side so I haven't seen much of a change. Not a fan at all.

stuckinsc wrote:@GuardianAngel She is lovely in that picture. I know she makes so much money, but that post makes it sound like she is a prisoner to her looks. That is just sad. I enjoyed her on Chris Soules season, but as @mommyof1 said that Becca is long gone.

Stuckinsc you are so right! She has so many followers and so many likes... who is she comparing herself too? Most young women her age have a few hundred friends on IG instead of the 1M+ that she has. She has made herself a prisoner to SM and not sure anyone has ever gained real self-esteem from that. Time is marching on and I hope she gets out of the shallow lifestyle she seems to be stuck in and creates something that she can be proud of and feel confident about moving forward. The fact is not everyone is going to like you and the sooner you realize it doesn't matter the sooner you are free to just be yourself!

Hopefully, she is socking back most of her earnings and will have options open to her as this sm phase fades.

I am also among the ones who see a different Becca now. I loved her on Chris’ season and thought they were a very good match for each other. She changed a bit in a sense that she became too much focused on SM and needs validation from it. I would blame her entourage in LA ; I’m not sure her friend Tanya has the best influence on her neither. I have also been listening to her podcasts, and got the sense that needy Tanya and the others made her believe she has commitment phobia/issues whereas I see it from not having found the right person. I am also suspecting Tanya is trying to have Becca get back with Robert (the Ross and Rachel comments) but it seemed clear to me that Becca broke up because she was not in love with him.
Anyway, I too miss Becca as she appeared on her first season.

BKay wrote:Hopefully, she is socking back most of her earnings and will have options open to her as this sm phase fades.

They had a listener question about finances a while back, so they called some expert to answer it and during the conversation Becca mentioned that she only really started saving at 27, but now she only keeps a certain amount of money on her checking account and the rest goes automatically to her savings account. She also said she'd like to learn more about investing, so seems like she is thinking ahead.

Pirouette wrote:I am also among the ones who see a different Becca now. I loved her on Chris’ season and thought they were a very good match for each other. She changed a bit in a sense that she became too much focused on SM and needs validation from it. I would blame her entourage in LA ; I’m not sure her friend Tanya has the best influence on her neither. I have also been listening to her podcasts, and got the sense that needy Tanya and the others made her believe she has commitment phobia/issues whereas I see it from not having found the right person. I am also suspecting Tanya is trying to have Becca get back with Robert (the Ross and Rachel comments) but it seemed clear to me that Becca broke up because she was not in love with him.
Anyway, I too miss Becca as she appeared on her first season.

Even though I liked Becca and Chris together on Chris's season, I don't think they were a match at all. Maybe as friends, but as life partners? No way IMO. She even liked Ben more than Chris, though they're definitely not a match either.

I think Tanya is a total sweetheart, she's just very different from Becca, so she can't relate to her very independent and unemotional personality. I was surprised to hear she was friends with Robert long before Becca met either of them, which is funny because IIRC Robert also knew JoJo before she went on the show. Robert seems to know everyone. But I think Tanya just really loves both of them and that's why she's still holding out hope that they'll reunite. I agree with you though that Becca just didn't fall for Robert and I don't see that changing. I thought she might have more feelings for him than she realises since she seemed to be pining for him a bit, but then she related so strongly to some listener's situation that kind of confirmed for me that she likes the idea of him more than actually being with him, and that just means he's not the one for her. JMO.

GuardianAngel wrote:I'm sure she didn't care about how many likes she had while filming on Chris's season. That all changed very quickly IMHO. I can't imagine worrying about how many likes I have, or comparing myself to others.

beccatilley last night i was having one of those nights. Scrolling on Instagram, comparing myself, comparing how many likes I had... and I was in a MOOD. I let this stupid app (that I also love- it’s a complicated relationship) put me in a BAD MOOD. But it’s fine- I acknowledged how ridiculous it was and addressed myself with positive words and got over it. But here’s a photo of me- in honor of the #realstagram Movement from @kaitlynbristowe. No makeup, big t shirt, binge watching Dexter. I’ve eaten so much chick fil a and mcdonalds that I’m prob gonna turn into a nugget soon. Anyways, love y’all. You’re all wonderful and unique and I’m thankful for each and every one of you!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BeJn5ltnoC-/?hl=en&taken-by=beccatilley

How many likes you receive on Instagram doesn't need to define you as a person, Becca. This is exactly why I said the old Becca is gone. She seeks validation from likes? Step away from your phone. Now.

@Mommyof2 Yep, that is just a sad way to view yourself and life.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BgTsVrAj4_t/?taken-by=amykinla

Becca will be interviewing Amy at this book signing. She will be the first attached to Bach Nation to do so - perhaps the only.

Becca and Robert need to stop playing with my heart. I thought I'd finally accepted that they're not meant to be and then I saw that they were hanging out at a concert together last night and now I'm like "Why can't you just be together?!?". I mean Becca was there with Tanya and Robert with his friend Ben, but they were hanging out and looking happy. I think Robert also posted a flirty message on Becca's IG a few days ago, but it was from the Vampped account so who knows, just sounded like Robert. Oh and a couple of weeks ago on the podcast some listener asked where Becca got her famous "blanket pants" and she was like "This is going to make me look bad but...". Apparently she got the original pair from some shop a while back, but they stopped selling them, so Robert made Becca's sister bring him the pants and he had 5 pairs made for Becca for her birthday. That is her last birthday, when they weren't even a couple anymore (though I think they were kind of casual still). That's the most romantic thing I've heard in ages. Gems like Robert don't just randomly show up.

mindless wrote:Becca and Robert need to stop playing with my heart. I thought I'd finally accepted that they're not meant to be and then I saw that they were hanging out at a concert together last night and now I'm like "Why can't you just be together?!?". I mean Becca was there with Tanya and Robert with his friend Ben, but they were hanging out and looking happy. I think Robert also posted a flirty message on Becca's IG a few days ago, but it was from the Vampped account so who knows, just sounded like Robert. Oh and a couple of weeks ago on the podcast some listener asked where Becca got her famous "blanket pants" and she was like "This is going to make me look bad but...". Apparently she got the original pair from some shop a while back, but they stopped selling them, so Robert made Becca's sister bring him the pants and he had 5 pairs made for Becca for her birthday. That is her last birthday, when they weren't even a couple anymore (though I think they were kind of casual still). That's the most romantic thing I've heard in ages. Gems like Robert don't just randomly show up.

thanks for the updates..

i have always liked and still like Becca. but not following her love life as of current..

i feel that Becca- Robert story may end up with an HEA Ending ala  "When Harry Met Sally" movie. For those who don't know...please google and find it in a vintage home video store near you..

This is all very interesting and cute. Has Robert not dated anyone since they broke up? And what are "blanket pants"?