Bachelorette Canada - Season 1 - Jasmine Lorimer - FRC - ATFR - Episode Discussion - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* #4

AllAboutLove wrote:Kevin wanting to leave reminded me of Shawn B and Sash/F1 (Bette AU S1). However, as far I know, those F1s only wanted to leave one time and then when they decided to stay they were "all in" and no more threats of leaving or anything like that.

Kevin on the other hand seemed to want to leave, go back, leave, go back.... that's a pattern of behavior, IMO, that is not about the show and dealing with the concept of it all, but about more about him and control, IMO, and I could see the same thing playing out post-filming.

At this point, I think the rumours of them breaking up that were posted awhile back were true. Maybe they tried again for the sake of trying and maybe they still are... but IMHO, when someone wants to walk away and leaves or threatens to do so and does this more than once then that's not a relationship built on trust, but one of ego and manipulation.

I completely agree [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] and I saw this emotional manipulation from him throughout the whole show. Don't want to "blame the parents" but IMO, his relationship with his mother has a lot to do with his behaviour.

So just imagine for a second.....you go through one of the hardest things ever and you make a decision and find "real" love you think in June. You can't validate that love/relationship. You can't build on that on either side. You live in your thoughts in those quiet moments, living life and questioning things and being so frustrated. Then have to re-live it all over again starting in September almost over three months to wait. During the season you have watched what you thought was real and you see that the story you thought was happening actually is being shown so one side (IMO) and everything in that TV world is against you. For Jasmine she is so loving and caring that she had to live with the gilt of knowing the very sweet, loving, guy she knows she hurt weighed heavy on her. Kevin couldn't help her over those three months because he couldn't understand it because he hasn't seen it yet. He knew she cared for Mikhel and gave her an out to pick him. But in Kevin's mushy PI he says that she said "I don't want to say goodbye to you" and she cried. My favorite saying is "the fear of lose is greater then the fear of gain" because you don't know the future and taking a chance (either way M or K) losing Kevin would have hurt more IMO. Most the leads say that they had to figure out who they couldn't say goodbye to.

So, where do they all go from here? Jasmine is the mess IMO. She is a mess because of so many things hitting her all at once. If she truly felt that Kevin was the "real" thing, and she was able to say goodbye to Mikhel not Kevin she will do well with getting out of this bubble and be "real" with life and figure things out away from the media, SM, the production and everyone else's opinions.

I really don't enjoy people wanting to validate themselves by cutting down others. We can't live their life all we can do is be entertained and hope that life is good!

I'm no psychologist, but Kevin seems to me like an emotional manipulator. I absolutely agree with those who expressed that Kevin's "out" to Jasmine in the last episode was not actually intentioned as such. Men who are used to these power positions in relationships know how to take advantage of women (and this is absolutely not to say that Jasmine is a weak woman - to the contrary, she seems incredibly strong). Do a quick google search (sure, not a strong indicator of quantifiable evidence), you will see that a lot of Kevin's positioning through the season seems passive, perhaps sweet, but is actually an attempt to assert dominance. I am not sure that he would be aware that he acts this way -- it could be that he is conditioned and these are somewhat subconscious. Either way, in my opinion, he came off incredibly poorly this season. Charm gets you just so far... The genuineness of Mikhel is the long game and the one that pays off.

4health wrote:snipped

I really don't enjoy people wanting to validate themselves by cutting down others.   We can't live their life all we can do is be entertained and hope that life is good!  

Who are these "people"?
Who is "we"?

If relating to members on this forum in any way, just a friendly reminder that all opinions are welcome regarding the contestants on this forum and members' opinions are not to be discredited or cut down.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] preach, preach girl.  You are so right.  I saw this as winning the girl as in competition, while there were others there for the right reason.

I remember the tears in Jasmine mother's eyes, when she was speaking to Mikhel, I said to myself in that moment, mom saw love and longstanding in this fellow, and when she spoke of Kevin and the side eye, I said oh lord have mercy, I hope Jasmine saw it too. It is so bitter sweet but I must stop.  Lord have mercy.

I don't see kevin as an emotional manipulator or anything like that, I think he just struggled with the format of the show. It can't have been easy watching it back and seeing her connection with other guys, especially when he seemed to really overlook them during the process. Add in the fact that Jasmine said she's been struggling with feelings for mikhel still and then watching them together on that couch last night, not even being biased but there STILL seemed to be something between Jas and Mikhel. Kevin probably thought that with the end of the show and her picking him it would finally be just them, moving forward together, but Mikhel's still there because her feelings for him are still there. All of this to say everyone talks about how hard this has been for Jasmine and heartbroken for Mikhel, but Kevin must also be having a hard time too. All JMO.

Does anyone else blame the prod as much as I do?
Like they could have narrate their story wayyyyyy better.

Real people with real emotions and feelings on a heavily edited/manipulated show is what we see. Knowing who these people are (back stories /snippets does not say much) we really don't know.
I don't know Jasmine but I liked her and wish her well. IMO, lovely bachelorette.
I don't know Kevin but I liked him and wish him well. IMO, he's candid.
I don't know Mikhel but I liked him and wish him well. IMO, he's sweet.

Was Jasmine contrite? There's such a thing as being too honest to the expense of others and that can convey insensitivity and carelessness.
Time...
Time is the essence of one's existence and it gives credence to patience, growth, and healing. But that's all it is, time. What you do with your time speaks about what you want out of life and who you are.

Yes, all fair points, for sure. And perhaps my language is strong in interpreting Kevin's behaviour. I absolutely think he has strong feelings for Jasmine and I think there is clearly a spark there so pardon my use of language and labelling. I just see some of Kevin's behaviour as 'red flag' worthy. Not to say he isn't an amazing person in many ways. I think we all saw positive attributes in him. However, capable of a long term relationship coming out of this 'process'? Perhaps not. I'd be happy to be proven wrong on all points. All just my opinion: right or wrong or somewhere in the middle.

Crazy question. Would Jasmine have taken Kevin's hanky and wiped her face regardless of how expensive?

Now I go to bed. Cant help expecting waking up reading about an break up. Just hope in the end it will all work out for all 3 of them. I am sure it will!!

iamreal2u wrote:Crazy question.  Would Jasmine have taken Kevin's hanky and wiped her face regardless of how expensive?

It was so sweet how Mikhel nodded at Noah when she didnt want to take his hanky. Like he was asking Noah to give her his. He is just sweet all way through. He is classy and sooo condiderating even during the hardest of times IMO.