Re: Josh Murray - Amanda Stanton - BIP 3 - Discussion

by stuckinsc Sat Sep 10, 2016 9:02 am

Amanduh's blonde hair is not Josh's fault, she has had that mess before she went on Bben's season. I don't like it, but then again I don't like her.

As for the Josh getting involved too fast, all I can offer is my family experience. My dad met my mom a couple of months after she left my sibling's father. In that case he was emotionally and physically abusive to my mom and the older two boys and refused to pay support for the kids. The older boys were almost 10 and 11 and the younger two were 3 and almost 6. My dad immediately became their dad, moved them in with him within a month and bought a house to have enough room for his new family. After six months they were married. The older boys never fully accepted my dad, but the younger two loved him as a dad and always said he treated them no differently then they did me. I was born three years later. My dad also adopted my mom's kids, he wanted them to have coverage as his children. It did not work with the older kids, they always resented him and the tempers all the way around didn't help. But the younger two grew up with two parents and were grateful for our dad. As much as I loved my dad he was a lot like Josh. He had a very quick, hot temper, but loved just as fiercely. He would have done anything for all of us.

When I see Josh with the girls it reminds me so much of my dad. Those girls are so young that I don't know if they need that slow get to know you time an older child would need.

Who knows how this will end, but Amanda oftens seems to use the girls like an accessory, so IMO if Josh gives them the love and attention that their mom does not seem to give, then good for the girls. This is all my experience and opinion.

by Newto Sat Sep 10, 2016 9:23 am

^^

Great post, stuck!! Older children usually have a harder time accepting a step-parent. Sounds like your dad was a great guy.

by Guest Sat Sep 10, 2016 9:29 am

stuckinsc wrote:Amanduh's blonde hair is not Josh's fault, she has had that mess before she went on Bben's season. I don't like it, but then again I don't like her.

As for the Josh getting involved too fast, all I can offer is my family experience. My dad met my mom a couple of months after she left my sibling's father. In that case he was emotionally and physically abusive to my mom and the older two boys and refused to pay support for the kids. The older boys were almost 10 and 11 and the younger two were 3 and almost 6. My dad immediately became their dad, moved them in with him within a month and bought a house to have enough room for his new family. After six months they were married. The older boys never fully accepted my dad, but the younger two loved him as a dad and always said he treated them no differently then they did me. I was born three years later. My dad also adopted my mom's kids, he wanted them to have coverage as his children. It did not work with the older kids, they always resented him and the tempers all the way around didn't help. But the younger two grew up with two parents and were grateful for our dad. As much as I loved my dad he was a lot like Josh. He had a very quick, hot temper, but loved just as fiercely. He would have done anything for all of us.

When I see Josh with the girls it reminds me so much of my dad. Those girls are so young that I don't know if they need that slow get to know you time an older child would need.

Who knows how this will end, but Amanda softens seems to use the girls like an accessory, so IMO if Josh gives them the love and attention that their mom does not seem to give, then good for the girls. This is all my experience and opinion.

Thanks for sharing your perspective and I think it is an important one. Maybe they have all really jumped in to this relationship quickly, including Josh, Amanda and both families, but having a strong commitment to each other and family support is a very good step. They would benefit greatly from some counseling. And I think Josh could choose his words more carefully. I hope it goes well for them. I think they need encouragement and counseling not criticism.

by stuckinsc Sat Sep 10, 2016 9:35 am

Columbia, MD wrote:^^ Great post, stuck!! Older children usually have a harder time accepting a step-parent. Sounds like your dad was a great guy.

Thank you @Columbia, MD. My dad was awesome in a lot of ways, but I grew up listening to lots of yelling and fights. He was far from perfect, but his love was equally as fierce as his temper. And IMO a lot of love can outweigh a lot. And IMO counseling never hurt anyone.

by bleuberry Sat Sep 10, 2016 10:28 am

Go Nick! He already seems much more sensible than Josh in his comment, grammar be damned laugh out loud

. If roles were reversed, Josh would be seeing red.

by Laura Walsh Sat Sep 10, 2016 10:39 am

Grammar doesn't bother me. Can't tell you how many times my IPad did an autocorrect in error. But what does bother me is Amanda posting a pic that says "Ariel finally found her prince." Again, very disrespectful of the dad. The dad is supposed to be the girls prince. I'm not knocking step dads, I'm a step mom myself and it is a very hard mind field at times. You have to know when and where to step sometimes. But the ex is not a bad dad and the girls obviously love him, so why make sm think he's a bad dad and needs a replacement.

by Ladybug82 Sat Sep 10, 2016 10:39 am

While I do think that all the adults involved could act with a little more a maturity and put the girls first, the girls have a dad who lives near by and is active in their lives. It's not like they have an absentee or dead beat dad, at least from what's been sleuthed and posted here. They do not need Josh to step in and fill a void or be a savior.

Yes, it takes a village to raise a child and receiving more love and attention from Josh and his family is not a bad thing. But he and his family need to realize there is a father and grandparents that already exist and need to find a balance without stepping on toes or trying to take the paternal families place and acting as if they simply don't exist. Amanda should help set boundaries, but since she and her mom seem to have no problem trashing the ex on tv and SM, that isn't going to happen.

After such a short time together (both with Duhh and the girls) it just seems disrespectful and rude, IMO, to start referring to and hashtgging about dad life. But JMOAA

by Alanna Sat Sep 10, 2016 10:43 am

bleuberry wrote:Go Nick! He already seems much more sensible than Josh in his comment, grammar be damned . If roles were reversed, Josh would be seeing red.

If the roles were reversed, Josh would be threatening to beat in the boyfriend's face because that's what "men do." I find myself consistently rooting for whichever Nick that Josh tangles with laugh out loud

by mindless Sat Sep 10, 2016 10:45 am

bleuberry wrote:Go Nick! He already seems much more sensible than Josh in his comment, grammar be damned . If roles were reversed, Josh would be seeing red.

Yeah, I thought that comment made him sound very reasonable. He even gave Josh credit for his step dadding, so I guess he's mostly okay with him.

by sosleepy Sat Sep 10, 2016 10:48 am

Alanna wrote:
bleuberry wrote:Go Nick! He already seems much more sensible than Josh in his comment, grammar be damned . If roles were reversed, Josh would be seeing red.
If the roles were reversed, Josh would be threatening to beat in the boyfriend's face because that's what "men do." I find myself consistently rooting for whichever Nick that Josh tangles with

Word. Word. Word. Word. Just so yucky, disrespectful, and not a good way to start a good working relationship with co-parenting those girls.

I would be LIVID if in some hypothetical universe my husband and I split, he gets with some other chick after only a few weeks, and then posts pics of my kids (to hundreds of thousands of followers to boot) with #momlife hashtags. I thought Nick's comment was pretty civil, considering.

by Kashathediva Sat Sep 10, 2016 10:58 am

Considering all the single parents the show has profiled, it's been luck this situation has not reared it's ugly head until now.
The best way IMO to handle the whole things is off social media and with maturity. There have been other past cast who have handled this situation with grace. It can work without making the kids a side show.

by Beach Lover Sat Sep 10, 2016 11:11 am

The crazy thing is I get the feeling Josh is just so caught up and excited to have the "family" he's wanted for so long that he doesn't realize how it might effect the exNick when he posts things like #Dadlife". But he definitely should be more considerate of that. No parent wants to feel replaced. Hopefully counseling and mediation is something they will all consider for the sake of the little ones.

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