Caila Quinn - BIP - Season 3 - Discussion - #2

I love that while other people are stuck being petty and bitter, Caila's driving through Switzerland enjoying stunning views. IMO there's some poetic justice in that.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/on-bachelor-in-paradise-ashley-i-is-all-of-us-but-so-are-jared-and-caila_us_57bd9aeee4b03d51368bb1eb

Thoughtfully written. I haven't listened to the podcast though.

EliseAlways wrote:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/on-bachelor-in-paradise-ashley-i-is-all-of-us-but-so-are-jared-and-caila_us_57bd9aeee4b03d51368bb1eb

Thoughtfully written. I haven't listened to the podcast though.

The podcast is awesome!

Currently listening to the podcast too. It's great so far, and they have brought up a lot of good points! I was also shocked to hear that AshleyI had also tweeted a sl*t-shaming lyric about Caila. Honestly, the people defending Ashley need to stop enabling this behaviour or she will never learn.

I also liked Claire's article too. Glad there are people providing a more balanced sane perspective.

I love Jared with Caila and think they would go far, but what I don't understand (and maybe it's clever editing by TP) is Jared doesn't seem to stand up for Caila. He is always defending Ashley I to Caila, but when Ashley I called Caila a "whore", he just sat there and said nothing. If he really "likes" Caila like he claims, shouldn't he tell his friend to not call her that? Maybe I shouldn't look too much into this, but maybe Jared lacks in that department of defending for his woman. JMO - But he seems like the type that wouldn't kick a$$ if a guy tries to come and flirt/talk sh|t about his girl. Please tell me I'm wrong.

bluwavz wrote:http://www.flare.com/celebrity/sharleen-joynt-on-bachelor-in-paradise-episode-7-2/

I'm glad Sharleen addressed the racial related issues and appreciate her thoughtful analysis. The comments on her recap are also refreshingly rational.

bonzkelly wrote:I love Jared with Caila and think they would go far, but what I don't understand (and maybe it's clever editing by TP) is Jared doesn't seem to stand up for Caila. He is always defending Ashley I to Caila, but when Ashley I called Caila a "whore", he just sat there and said nothing. If he really "likes" Caila like he claims, shouldn't he tell his friend to not call her that? Maybe I shouldn't look too much into this, but maybe Jared lacks in that department of defending for his woman. JMO - But he seems like the type that wouldn't kick a$$ if a guy tries to come and flirt/talk sh|t about his girl. Please tell me I'm wrong.

First things first, Hope you enjoy posting in the forum!

And IMO, it's because Jared has no balls. Twice we have seen Ashley tell Jared the girl he likes is a whore. And twice he has not intervened. Why should Caila stay or be committed to a guy that can't even defend her? Dude, at the very least defend your own decision to pursue Caila on the show. Nope. He goes running back to Ashley.

Yes thanks blu for the link to Sharleen's recap. IMO Sharleen summed up this aspect in her recap well by providing a personal anecdote... "I will always wonder if she would have said that at all if I were 100 percent Asian, or if somehow being half made it more kosher. Similarly, I wonder if Caila were 100 percent Filipino and not half, if Michelle Collins and Ashley I would so freely hyper-squint when imitating her smiles. Perhaps there would be more censoring, more consideration."

I've just finished the podcast and I'll try and write up a few of the things I thought were spot on.

Done listening to the podcast. It was indeed awesome. Michael Garofola provided good and balanced insights especially since he has met Ashley, Jared and Caila before. I was trying to get a read on him for clues if Jared and Caila could still be together. Got nothing. Loved that they keep bringing up Ashley calling Caila a backstabbing whore since most people have just swept that comment under the rug. Ashley saying she stands by everything she said is immature IMO. She should at least apologize for some of the hurtful things she said.

It made me sad that Caila liked Vinny's tweet defending Izzy against bullies because none of her castmates did that for her.

@Siena ah, yes, the sl*t-shaming song reference which Carly retweeted. These people are truly horrible. I just rolled my eyes at even more SM bullying when I first saw it, but upon further reflection, I'm finding it perhaps the most disgusting cheap shot yet as the song referenced very clearly degrates the "other woman" in no uncertain terms. At least Taylor Swift was only about 19/20 when she wrote the song. What the hell is AI's excuse?

So here are a couple of quotes/summary from the podcast with Michael Garofola below. I might have missed a few words, but I thought a lot of good points were raised.

Claire and Emma were telling Michael that a lot of Ashley fans were piling on Caila on social media because they think Caila has hurt Ashley. Michael responded: "Really? For what? Ashley's hurting herself."

Then Claire and Emma mentioned how people are questioning that Caila is fake and that her feelings aren't strong enough for Jared yet. Claire and Emma said that it was natural that Caila wasn't 1000% sure about someone she'd known for a few days. Michael responded: "Yeah, she's respecting the phases of dating and figuring out how she feels."

Claire brought up a good point too about how Ashley is praised in relation to this prizing of radical honesty, but that kindness is also a virtue and that brutal honesty can be cruel. Michael said that "sometimes it's selfish" and Ashley should "have some restraint."

Claire also said "Caila is perceived as being fake because she's trying to behave in a way that's considerate in a really trying situation. Whereas Ashley is not trying to do that at all."

At the end of the podcast Michael then said this:

"I like Ashley a lot, but I'm just cringing at all of this stuff. I just think like you need to have some self control and if Jared really is your friend, truly your friend, and can be your friend going forward then this is something you're going to have to deal with and you're going to have to care more about him than your own personal desires to be with him romantically, and want him to be happy. This is a forum for her to do that and instead she came with every intention of being with him and no-one else. I don't buy this whole thing that she was going to come and meet someone else... I don't think she should be applauded."

Anyway it was good to hear an intelligent sane conversation about all of this insanity, especially in light of the way so many of the Bach clique have behaved and the excuses they've made for the bullying of Caila.

Source

Some people for whatever reason(immaturity is the least of it) cannot apologize. They simply can not say: "I am sorry. I apologize. I feel bad what I did was wrong. I am sorry I did hurtful things to you". Etc.
There are people like this.